The Birthday
Fade in Grocery Store
Jerry and George are shopping and talking
George picks up a box of Fruity Pebbles
George:- ( talking to the cereal)Well, it's been a while, but I'm gonna give
you a try.
Jerry:- Fruity Pebbles? Since when do you like Fruity Pebbles?
George:- I don't. I don't know Jerry, things are slippin away. You know, the
big one....
Jerry:- Yes the big one
George:- I can't live with myself Jerry! I mean the big 3-9!
Jerry:- You think that's big!? George, you're just over exaggerating.
George:- Am I Jerry!? Am I? Ho -Hooh!
Jerry:- George, you're not even near death yet. Most people die at like 82
now! And you still look
young. I'm 43 and still in shape! And Kramer, he's 48 and, .....well he's
alive!
George:- Oh that makes me feel better. Oh yeah.
Jerry:- Oh George Don't worry about it. You're nowhere near death.
Jerry picks up newspaper. The headline is " Man dies at 39"
Jerry: Hmm.. Man Dies at 39
Jerry looks at George
George looks at the paper and then at Jerry
George:- Oh, That's nice
Commercial Break
Back to the show
Shows outside of comedy club
Fade in bar, Jerry comes in from the exit from the showroom. You hear boo's
from the audience.
Jerry wipes his face like he's warn out from the crowd
George:- That didn't sound good
Jerry:- No ,it didn't
George:- What happened in there?
Jerry:- I don't know. I'm losing it! I have no material! I'm turning into a
hack!
George:- Yeah you probably are.
Jerry:- Oh that makes me feel better. Gramps!
George looks at Jerry and smiles sarcastically
George:- So what are you doing tonight?
Jerry: I don't know George. I was thinking about going to bed .
George: Oh yeah, it's night. I don't even care any more.
Jerry: That's a suprise.
George:- Well. I'm going to a birthday dinner with my parents tomorrow.Oh God.
The dinner with
those two freakshows ho-ho. Well... You're welcome to come.
Jerry:- Sounds like fun.
They walk out of the bar
walking down the street
Jerry:- Oh no it's Todd Gack.
George:- Todd Gack?
Jerry:-You know, Elaine's old boyfriend.
George: That doesn't help much.
Jerry:- Yeah I guess you're right.
George:- Well who is he?
Jerry:- He's some fluezy who made a stupid bet that Dustin Hoffman was in Star
Wars just to get
a date.
George:- Oh yeah.
Todd comes up
Todd:- Hey Jerry
Jerry:- Hey Todd.
George:- Hey Gack.(thinking he's funny)
Jerry:- So whatcha up to?
Todd:- Oh I got married!
Jerry:- You did?
Todd: No. but I do work for a column in the Comedy Times magazine. I'd love
to do an article on
you!
Jerry:- Oh that'd be great!
Todd:- Oh well here's my card, just give me a call.
Jerry: All right.
Todd walks off
Jerry: You know maybe this Todd Gack really is a great guy. This article can
help my career!
George: What do you really think it'll do?
Jerry: Nothing
Fade in next morning at J. Peterman's
Elaine is at a Coca-Cola machine.
Elaine: Oh da**. Broke a nail.
A tall man walks by and bumps into her
Mr.Edwards: Oh I'm sorry....Elaine? ..Is that it?
Elaine: Yeah, yep.(laughing kinda blushing)
Mr. Edwards: I'm Mr. Edwards. I'm new here. I'm trying to get my way around.
I hope that uh....
nail doesn't..affect your work.(says it in a way like he's big and cool)
Elaine trails him confused and insulted
Fade in Monk's Cafe
Jerry: Hope that nail doesn't affect your work?
Elaine: Yeah. And here's the worst part. I am at a higher postion than him!
It was very insulting!
He's probably a sexist pig who wants to be in my position! .. So what should
I do?
Jerry: Maybe you should sleep with him.
Elaine: Oh that'll change his thoughts. (sarcastically)
Jerry: Well maybe you should show him who's really the boss.
Elaine: How do I do that?
Jerry: Do hard work. Show him that you're a good worker and he'll leave you
alone.
Elaine: Hard work?
Jerry: What you're supposed to do there.
Elaine:Yeah, But hard work?
Jerry: Yes, hard work.
Elaine: But I can't do hard work.
Jerry: Sure you can.
Elaine: But I have no intention of doing hard work.
Jerry: Then act like you're doing hard work.
Elaine: How do I do that?
Jerry: Huh?
Elaine: What?
Jerry and Elaine stop and look down for 2 seconds in confusion.
Jerry: Look, just try to do hard work.
Elaine: So where's George?
Jerry: He's at that big uh...Elaine interrupts him
Elaine: Oh, yeah the big 3-9. dinner
Elaine: How's he doing with that?
Jerry: Sounds like he's enjoying it.
Elaine: Oh. So what are you doing later?
Jerry: Oh Todd Gack is writing an article on me for his magazine.
Elaine: Get out! throws napkin at him.. Todd Gack! The Non-Date Dustin
Hoffman Dater!?
Jerry: That's the one.
Elaine: Wow he works for a magazine now?
Jerry: Yep. And the coincidence is he just came out of Wag The Dog!
Elaine: You really are running out of material.
Kramer walks in
Kramer: Hey guys
Jerry and Elaine: Hey
Jerry: Whatcha doin today?
Kramer: Well, I'm going to a movie.
Jerry: Oh really? which theater?
Kramer: Oh I'll tell you what theater. My own apartment.
Jerry: Excuse me?
Kramer: Well I started my own home theater. Yeah there's popcorn and your
little candies. Yeah
today were playing Ghostbusters. Yeah you guys can stop buy if you want.
Elaine: Are there Jujy Fruits?
Kramer: Oh you better believe it.
Jerry: Oh I'm sure this'll last.
Fade in Garcia's Restaurant. George is having dinner with his parents
Frank: Taste this bread, George.
George: I don't want to taste it.
Frank: If I ask you to taste it, You taste it!
George: All right I'll taste it.
George tastes it
George: That's very good
Frank: It's not good, it stinks. I thought we were coming to a nice place.
George: This is a nice place.
Frank: That's what they want you to think!
George: Oh my God.
Estelle: George-y I can't beleive you're getting so grown up.
George: I've been a grown-up for years ma!
Estelle: Yeah but now that you're 39, you can act I more grown up.
George: I'll try. (smiles sarcastically)
Frank: Ya know George, when I was in Korea, there was a guy twice my age, and
he acted like
he was 30 years younger! He would dodge those bullets with his hands!
George: I'm sure he did.
Frank: So maybe you should act 30 years younger.
George: I don't know if you want me to act 9 years old dad.
Frank: All right, 10 years younger.
George: Yeah, you know what, maybe I should act younger. Get in the game! And
smell the
coffee right through my nose! I'm gonna do it! Ha ha!
Takes a sip of wine.
Estelle: How's that wine George-y?
George: Young and proud!
Fade in Jerry's apartment building
Jerry walks up to Kramer's door
He knocks on door
Kramer opens it He's in a little home-built lobby Inside his building Newman
is watching
Ghostbusters on a 27" TV. The theater looks so corny.
Kramer: Hey Jerry.
Jerry: Hey Kramer.Oh, Zanidew! I need my laptop you borrowed from me.
Kramer: Yeah okay. Uh that'll be $3.50.
Jerry: Excuse me?
Kramer: That's the price to get into the theater.
Jerry: But all I need is my laptop! Which is mine!
Kramer: Well Jerry. If you wanna live up to the law, you pay the price.
Jerry: Kramer! I don't have time for this!
Kramer: Well not all of us are big celebrities Jerry. We need to make a
living too.
Jerry: All right!
Jerry gives him $3.50
Fade in J. Peterman's
In the hallway
J.Peterman: Oh Elaine! This door keeps closing! I need one of those cheese
logs!
Elaine: Cheese log?
J.Peterman: You know, the thing that stops the door!
Elaine: A door stop?
J.Peterman: Oh yes Elaine! That's the one!
Elaine: I'll go get you one Mr. Peterman.
Elaine turns around and Mr. Edwards is there holding a door stop
Mr. Edwards: I couldn't help overhearring your conversation so I got you a
doorstop Mr. P!
Mr. Peterman: Oh why thank you Mr. Edwards!
Mr. Edwards: Your welcome Mr. P, I decided to get a doorstop for you. Didn't
wanna wear Elaine
out.smiles at Elaine. He walks off
Mr. Peterman: Oh. He's such a lad. Too bad we don't have alot more Mr. Edwards
around this
place.
Elaine: Yeah too bad.
Fade in Jerry's apartment
Elaine walks in
Elaine: Well, I'm a slacker!
Jerry: Oh that's nice. Why's that?
Elaine: I'm gettin' nothin' Jerry. That creep at work has it in for me! He'll
probably run me out of
the job!
Jerry: Yeah he probably will.
Elaine: I appreciate your help.(smiles sarcastically)
Jerry: Well just call him in your office to talk and show him your working.
Elaine: Yes, yes! The call-in!
Jerry: Right
Elaine: You know Jerry, I appreciate your help
Jerry: Hey, Todd gack's article came out oday! Can you believe it? Look at
this! "Although Jerry
Seinfeld is a popular comedian, his comedy is probably as good as a magician
trying to perform
comedy"
Elaine: So he boomed you?
Jerry: Yes! I'm gonna talk to him, and boom him!
Elaine: I'm sure you will.
George walks in wearing shorts and sandals and a ball cap
Jerry: What the he** is this?
George: I'll tell ya what it is. It's the new George! I'm livin' the dream!
I'm goin' back in time! Look
at me! No glasses! Ha ha! I'll tell you Jerry I feel something magical inside
me that'll almost kill
me! Ha ha! And I got no time for you guys because I'm gonna go play basketball
with the east
side bros! Later ......Dudes!
George runs out and leaves making race car noises
Jerry: So you wanna catch a movie later?(acting like nothing happened)
Elaine: Sure. How bout we go to Kramer's matinee?
Jerry: Or..we could go to George's parent's house.
Elaine: It's that bad?
Jerry: Elaine. He charges you.
Elaine: But he has Jujy fruits
Jerry: I'm aware of the Jujy Fruits
They walk out of his door
There's a sign by Kramer's door that says the price $3.50 and the movie that's
playing"Love In
The Mountains" .Nobody's there. Then all of a suuden Newman comes by
Jerry:Hello Newman
Newman: Hello Jerry
Newman: So Kramer, what's playing?!
Kramer: Looks like you need to read the sign. You know, If it wasn't for you
Newman, we'd be
out on the streets. But I think this business is going a long way.
Fade in basektball court
Playing "I'm Still Standing"by Elton John
George is playing basketball with the bros
They pass it to him. He looks good. Then he shoots it, he holds his back like
it's hurting
At the mall, a group of girls in their early 20's walk by, George goes up to
talk to them and trys to
start a conversation. The girls push him off. George is still smiling even
though he knows he's
losing it.
Goes into a nightclub, Next Scene: Two men are throwing him in the gutter
George gets on a bike, next scene: An ambulance is siring down the highway
Fade in Rock Music Store. George comes in. There's a 19 year-old slacker at
the counter looking
like he's stoned
George: Hey, you got any boss music?
Man: Boss?
George: Ya know, good music.
Man: You're gonna have to clue me in.
George: Rad...?
Man stares at him.
George: Fresh, phat? Whatever you use!!!!!!
Man: What we use is whatever comes from the vampire bat! The man starts acting
like a
freakshow make bat noises and starts running in circles giggling.
George stares at him like he's a freak
Fade in Kramer's Theatre
Jerry and Elaine are watching a movie
George: Well, it's true, I'm 39!
Jerry: Oh, when did this happen?
George: Today, about noonish. But I'm pretty happy. All those young activities
just wore me out.
Jerry: So what are you going to do now?
George: Dah, just ask out girls sucking in my gut
Jerry: Oh that's nice
George: What's this?
Elaine: Schindler's List
George: Don't make out with Elaine , Jerry. (George starts laughing)
Jerry: Oh you think that's funny George?
George: Well, yeah
The group truns around and see Newman and Kramer crying from the movie.
Fade in Elaine's office
Elaine is getting ready to call in Mr. Edwards
But all of a sudden a fly flies by.
She gets the flyswatter out. She swings three times and misses.
Elaine: You stupid fly! I'll get you!
She swings four times and she starts sweating a she's exhausted
Elaine: Oh ...God!(she's so warn out)
Now ,in the doorway, Mr. Edwards and Mr. Peterman are standind shaking their
heads. They
were watching the whole time
Elaine: What are you looking at?!
Peterman and Edwards walk off shaking their heads
Fade in comedy club
Jerry sees Todd Gack
Todd: Hey Jerry. You see the magazine?
Jerry: Yes I did! so you just ask me to do an article on me, and then you make
me sound like a
total idiot?!
Todd: Hey the readers go for it. If it get's their attention, I'll write it.
It's that simple.I can't write an
article on how good you are. The readers would throw it away! And besides,
you're material is
worth the wait.
Todd and Jerry stare at eachother for 4 seconds
Jerry: Ah, I guess you're right.
fade in Jerry's hallway
Sylvio, the super comes by Kramer's door
Kramer: Hey Sylvio.
Sylvio: What the he** is this?
Kramer: Well it's the home theater. Kramer Cinema 1.
Sylvio: There's two of these?
Kramer: NO, that's just the number of movies playing at a time.
Yeah, me and Newman did this and...
Sylvio: Newman?!
Kramer: Well Yeah.
Sylvio: If a Newman did this, you close this up!
Kramer: Oh but come on, this theater is gonna be in the papers!
Sylvio stares at him
Kramer: Possibly
Sylvio: All a right. You can keep it. Just a keep it quiet.
Sylvio walks off traling Kramer's eyes. Kramer looks back
Fade in Bar
Jerry comes out of showroom. You hear cheers.
Jerry: Well, that was good!
George: That sounded good
Jerry: Yes it did
Jerry: So, how are you gonna survive at work?
Elaine: Hmm, I'll just lock my doors and get to my office with a ladder.
Jerry: Oh.
Jerry: I'll tell ya. My material is back! I can't lose! It's like one night
I'm a loser, then next night,
I'm a winner!
Kramer: But I wonder what's in store for you tomorrow.
Jerry thinks for a second like he could be right
Jerry: Hey George, look at that girl. Maybe you should try asking her out.
George: It's worth a shot.
He walks over to her
Jerry: So how's your theatre?
Kramer: Well, I got Sylvio into it. Yeah he loves it.
Jerry: Does he like Newman too?
Kramer: Let's keep those files closed
George: Hey I'm George.(sucking in his gut)
woman: Hi I'm Patricia
George: Hi, I couldn't help to notice you. You are a very attractive
woman.(sucking in his gut,
having trouble talking)
Patricia: Thank you
George: Yep. So you wanna catch a movie later? (his stomach falls out,
revealing his fat)
George: Ahh!
woman walks offPatricia: Look I gotta go, It's geting late.
George: yeah pretty late huh?
George turns to a man beside hm
George: You know any local cliffs I could jump off?
Fade in Grocery Store
Jerry and George are shopping and talking
George picks up a box of Fruity Pebbles
George:- ( talking to the cereal)Well, it's been a while, but I'm gonna give
you a try.
Jerry:- Fruity Pebbles? Since when do you like Fruity Pebbles?
George:- I don't. I don't know Jerry, things are slippin away. You know, the
big one....
Jerry:- Yes the big one
George:- I can't live with myself Jerry! I mean the big 3-9!
Jerry:- You think that's big!? George, you're just over exaggerating.
George:- Am I Jerry!? Am I? Ho -Hooh!
Jerry:- George, you're not even near death yet. Most people die at like 82
now! And you still look
young. I'm 43 and still in shape! And Kramer, he's 48 and, .....well he's
alive!
George:- Oh that makes me feel better. Oh yeah.
Jerry:- Oh George Don't worry about it. You're nowhere near death.
Jerry picks up newspaper. The headline is " Man dies at 39"
Jerry: Hmm.. Man Dies at 39
Jerry looks at George
George looks at the paper and then at Jerry
George:- Oh, That's nice
Commercial Break
Back to the show
Shows outside of comedy club
Fade in bar, Jerry comes in from the exit from the showroom. You hear boo's
from the audience.
Jerry wipes his face like he's warn out from the crowd
George:- That didn't sound good
Jerry:- No ,it didn't
George:- What happened in there?
Jerry:- I don't know. I'm losing it! I have no material! I'm turning into a
hack!
George:- Yeah you probably are.
Jerry:- Oh that makes me feel better. Gramps!
George looks at Jerry and smiles sarcastically
George:- So what are you doing tonight?
Jerry: I don't know George. I was thinking about going to bed .
George: Oh yeah, it's night. I don't even care any more.
Jerry: That's a suprise.
George:- Well. I'm going to a birthday dinner with my parents tomorrow.Oh God.
The dinner with
those two freakshows ho-ho. Well... You're welcome to come.
Jerry:- Sounds like fun.
They walk out of the bar
walking down the street
Jerry:- Oh no it's Todd Gack.
George:- Todd Gack?
Jerry:-You know, Elaine's old boyfriend.
George: That doesn't help much.
Jerry:- Yeah I guess you're right.
George:- Well who is he?
Jerry:- He's some fluezy who made a stupid bet that Dustin Hoffman was in Star
Wars just to get
a date.
George:- Oh yeah.
Todd comes up
Todd:- Hey Jerry
Jerry:- Hey Todd.
George:- Hey Gack.(thinking he's funny)
Jerry:- So whatcha up to?
Todd:- Oh I got married!
Jerry:- You did?
Todd: No. but I do work for a column in the Comedy Times magazine. I'd love
to do an article on
you!
Jerry:- Oh that'd be great!
Todd:- Oh well here's my card, just give me a call.
Jerry: All right.
Todd walks off
Jerry: You know maybe this Todd Gack really is a great guy. This article can
help my career!
George: What do you really think it'll do?
Jerry: Nothing
Fade in next morning at J. Peterman's
Elaine is at a Coca-Cola machine.
Elaine: Oh da**. Broke a nail.
A tall man walks by and bumps into her
Mr.Edwards: Oh I'm sorry....Elaine? ..Is that it?
Elaine: Yeah, yep.(laughing kinda blushing)
Mr. Edwards: I'm Mr. Edwards. I'm new here. I'm trying to get my way around.
I hope that uh....
nail doesn't..affect your work.(says it in a way like he's big and cool)
Elaine trails him confused and insulted
Fade in Monk's Cafe
Jerry: Hope that nail doesn't affect your work?
Elaine: Yeah. And here's the worst part. I am at a higher postion than him!
It was very insulting!
He's probably a sexist pig who wants to be in my position! .. So what should
I do?
Jerry: Maybe you should sleep with him.
Elaine: Oh that'll change his thoughts. (sarcastically)
Jerry: Well maybe you should show him who's really the boss.
Elaine: How do I do that?
Jerry: Do hard work. Show him that you're a good worker and he'll leave you
alone.
Elaine: Hard work?
Jerry: What you're supposed to do there.
Elaine:Yeah, But hard work?
Jerry: Yes, hard work.
Elaine: But I can't do hard work.
Jerry: Sure you can.
Elaine: But I have no intention of doing hard work.
Jerry: Then act like you're doing hard work.
Elaine: How do I do that?
Jerry: Huh?
Elaine: What?
Jerry and Elaine stop and look down for 2 seconds in confusion.
Jerry: Look, just try to do hard work.
Elaine: So where's George?
Jerry: He's at that big uh...Elaine interrupts him
Elaine: Oh, yeah the big 3-9. dinner
Elaine: How's he doing with that?
Jerry: Sounds like he's enjoying it.
Elaine: Oh. So what are you doing later?
Jerry: Oh Todd Gack is writing an article on me for his magazine.
Elaine: Get out! throws napkin at him.. Todd Gack! The Non-Date Dustin
Hoffman Dater!?
Jerry: That's the one.
Elaine: Wow he works for a magazine now?
Jerry: Yep. And the coincidence is he just came out of Wag The Dog!
Elaine: You really are running out of material.
Kramer walks in
Kramer: Hey guys
Jerry and Elaine: Hey
Jerry: Whatcha doin today?
Kramer: Well, I'm going to a movie.
Jerry: Oh really? which theater?
Kramer: Oh I'll tell you what theater. My own apartment.
Jerry: Excuse me?
Kramer: Well I started my own home theater. Yeah there's popcorn and your
little candies. Yeah
today were playing Ghostbusters. Yeah you guys can stop buy if you want.
Elaine: Are there Jujy Fruits?
Kramer: Oh you better believe it.
Jerry: Oh I'm sure this'll last.
Fade in Garcia's Restaurant. George is having dinner with his parents
Frank: Taste this bread, George.
George: I don't want to taste it.
Frank: If I ask you to taste it, You taste it!
George: All right I'll taste it.
George tastes it
George: That's very good
Frank: It's not good, it stinks. I thought we were coming to a nice place.
George: This is a nice place.
Frank: That's what they want you to think!
George: Oh my God.
Estelle: George-y I can't beleive you're getting so grown up.
George: I've been a grown-up for years ma!
Estelle: Yeah but now that you're 39, you can act I more grown up.
George: I'll try. (smiles sarcastically)
Frank: Ya know George, when I was in Korea, there was a guy twice my age, and
he acted like
he was 30 years younger! He would dodge those bullets with his hands!
George: I'm sure he did.
Frank: So maybe you should act 30 years younger.
George: I don't know if you want me to act 9 years old dad.
Frank: All right, 10 years younger.
George: Yeah, you know what, maybe I should act younger. Get in the game! And
smell the
coffee right through my nose! I'm gonna do it! Ha ha!
Takes a sip of wine.
Estelle: How's that wine George-y?
George: Young and proud!
Fade in Jerry's apartment building
Jerry walks up to Kramer's door
He knocks on door
Kramer opens it He's in a little home-built lobby Inside his building Newman
is watching
Ghostbusters on a 27" TV. The theater looks so corny.
Kramer: Hey Jerry.
Jerry: Hey Kramer.Oh, Zanidew! I need my laptop you borrowed from me.
Kramer: Yeah okay. Uh that'll be $3.50.
Jerry: Excuse me?
Kramer: That's the price to get into the theater.
Jerry: But all I need is my laptop! Which is mine!
Kramer: Well Jerry. If you wanna live up to the law, you pay the price.
Jerry: Kramer! I don't have time for this!
Kramer: Well not all of us are big celebrities Jerry. We need to make a
living too.
Jerry: All right!
Jerry gives him $3.50
Fade in J. Peterman's
In the hallway
J.Peterman: Oh Elaine! This door keeps closing! I need one of those cheese
logs!
Elaine: Cheese log?
J.Peterman: You know, the thing that stops the door!
Elaine: A door stop?
J.Peterman: Oh yes Elaine! That's the one!
Elaine: I'll go get you one Mr. Peterman.
Elaine turns around and Mr. Edwards is there holding a door stop
Mr. Edwards: I couldn't help overhearring your conversation so I got you a
doorstop Mr. P!
Mr. Peterman: Oh why thank you Mr. Edwards!
Mr. Edwards: Your welcome Mr. P, I decided to get a doorstop for you. Didn't
wanna wear Elaine
out.smiles at Elaine. He walks off
Mr. Peterman: Oh. He's such a lad. Too bad we don't have alot more Mr. Edwards
around this
place.
Elaine: Yeah too bad.
Fade in Jerry's apartment
Elaine walks in
Elaine: Well, I'm a slacker!
Jerry: Oh that's nice. Why's that?
Elaine: I'm gettin' nothin' Jerry. That creep at work has it in for me! He'll
probably run me out of
the job!
Jerry: Yeah he probably will.
Elaine: I appreciate your help.(smiles sarcastically)
Jerry: Well just call him in your office to talk and show him your working.
Elaine: Yes, yes! The call-in!
Jerry: Right
Elaine: You know Jerry, I appreciate your help
Jerry: Hey, Todd gack's article came out oday! Can you believe it? Look at
this! "Although Jerry
Seinfeld is a popular comedian, his comedy is probably as good as a magician
trying to perform
comedy"
Elaine: So he boomed you?
Jerry: Yes! I'm gonna talk to him, and boom him!
Elaine: I'm sure you will.
George walks in wearing shorts and sandals and a ball cap
Jerry: What the he** is this?
George: I'll tell ya what it is. It's the new George! I'm livin' the dream!
I'm goin' back in time! Look
at me! No glasses! Ha ha! I'll tell you Jerry I feel something magical inside
me that'll almost kill
me! Ha ha! And I got no time for you guys because I'm gonna go play basketball
with the east
side bros! Later ......Dudes!
George runs out and leaves making race car noises
Jerry: So you wanna catch a movie later?(acting like nothing happened)
Elaine: Sure. How bout we go to Kramer's matinee?
Jerry: Or..we could go to George's parent's house.
Elaine: It's that bad?
Jerry: Elaine. He charges you.
Elaine: But he has Jujy fruits
Jerry: I'm aware of the Jujy Fruits
They walk out of his door
There's a sign by Kramer's door that says the price $3.50 and the movie that's
playing"Love In
The Mountains" .Nobody's there. Then all of a suuden Newman comes by
Jerry:Hello Newman
Newman: Hello Jerry
Newman: So Kramer, what's playing?!
Kramer: Looks like you need to read the sign. You know, If it wasn't for you
Newman, we'd be
out on the streets. But I think this business is going a long way.
Fade in basektball court
Playing "I'm Still Standing"by Elton John
George is playing basketball with the bros
They pass it to him. He looks good. Then he shoots it, he holds his back like
it's hurting
At the mall, a group of girls in their early 20's walk by, George goes up to
talk to them and trys to
start a conversation. The girls push him off. George is still smiling even
though he knows he's
losing it.
Goes into a nightclub, Next Scene: Two men are throwing him in the gutter
George gets on a bike, next scene: An ambulance is siring down the highway
Fade in Rock Music Store. George comes in. There's a 19 year-old slacker at
the counter looking
like he's stoned
George: Hey, you got any boss music?
Man: Boss?
George: Ya know, good music.
Man: You're gonna have to clue me in.
George: Rad...?
Man stares at him.
George: Fresh, phat? Whatever you use!!!!!!
Man: What we use is whatever comes from the vampire bat! The man starts acting
like a
freakshow make bat noises and starts running in circles giggling.
George stares at him like he's a freak
Fade in Kramer's Theatre
Jerry and Elaine are watching a movie
George: Well, it's true, I'm 39!
Jerry: Oh, when did this happen?
George: Today, about noonish. But I'm pretty happy. All those young activities
just wore me out.
Jerry: So what are you going to do now?
George: Dah, just ask out girls sucking in my gut
Jerry: Oh that's nice
George: What's this?
Elaine: Schindler's List
George: Don't make out with Elaine , Jerry. (George starts laughing)
Jerry: Oh you think that's funny George?
George: Well, yeah
The group truns around and see Newman and Kramer crying from the movie.
Fade in Elaine's office
Elaine is getting ready to call in Mr. Edwards
But all of a sudden a fly flies by.
She gets the flyswatter out. She swings three times and misses.
Elaine: You stupid fly! I'll get you!
She swings four times and she starts sweating a she's exhausted
Elaine: Oh ...God!(she's so warn out)
Now ,in the doorway, Mr. Edwards and Mr. Peterman are standind shaking their
heads. They
were watching the whole time
Elaine: What are you looking at?!
Peterman and Edwards walk off shaking their heads
Fade in comedy club
Jerry sees Todd Gack
Todd: Hey Jerry. You see the magazine?
Jerry: Yes I did! so you just ask me to do an article on me, and then you make
me sound like a
total idiot?!
Todd: Hey the readers go for it. If it get's their attention, I'll write it.
It's that simple.I can't write an
article on how good you are. The readers would throw it away! And besides,
you're material is
worth the wait.
Todd and Jerry stare at eachother for 4 seconds
Jerry: Ah, I guess you're right.
fade in Jerry's hallway
Sylvio, the super comes by Kramer's door
Kramer: Hey Sylvio.
Sylvio: What the he** is this?
Kramer: Well it's the home theater. Kramer Cinema 1.
Sylvio: There's two of these?
Kramer: NO, that's just the number of movies playing at a time.
Yeah, me and Newman did this and...
Sylvio: Newman?!
Kramer: Well Yeah.
Sylvio: If a Newman did this, you close this up!
Kramer: Oh but come on, this theater is gonna be in the papers!
Sylvio stares at him
Kramer: Possibly
Sylvio: All a right. You can keep it. Just a keep it quiet.
Sylvio walks off traling Kramer's eyes. Kramer looks back
Fade in Bar
Jerry comes out of showroom. You hear cheers.
Jerry: Well, that was good!
George: That sounded good
Jerry: Yes it did
Jerry: So, how are you gonna survive at work?
Elaine: Hmm, I'll just lock my doors and get to my office with a ladder.
Jerry: Oh.
Jerry: I'll tell ya. My material is back! I can't lose! It's like one night
I'm a loser, then next night,
I'm a winner!
Kramer: But I wonder what's in store for you tomorrow.
Jerry thinks for a second like he could be right
Jerry: Hey George, look at that girl. Maybe you should try asking her out.
George: It's worth a shot.
He walks over to her
Jerry: So how's your theatre?
Kramer: Well, I got Sylvio into it. Yeah he loves it.
Jerry: Does he like Newman too?
Kramer: Let's keep those files closed
George: Hey I'm George.(sucking in his gut)
woman: Hi I'm Patricia
George: Hi, I couldn't help to notice you. You are a very attractive
woman.(sucking in his gut,
having trouble talking)
Patricia: Thank you
George: Yep. So you wanna catch a movie later? (his stomach falls out,
revealing his fat)
George: Ahh!
woman walks offPatricia: Look I gotta go, It's geting late.
George: yeah pretty late huh?
George turns to a man beside hm
George: You know any local cliffs I could jump off?