Never. Not a chance. This does not happen to you of all people. You're more controlled than this. More subdued. For Christ's sake, you follow the rules! Then why are you sitting in bloody detention? Oh, that's right, the idiot next to you decided it would be funny to lock you in greenhouse three and see what you would do when the Venemous Tenticula got hungry. It's not your fault you set the stupid plant on fire, it was trying to eat you! And it's not like Sprout doesn't have three others in greenhouse 6. It's not like it's the whomping willow, it doesn't serve a purpose. It doesn't protect people from a highly dangerous monster such as yourself. Yeah, yeah, you know what Sirius always says, "Remmie, you're not a monster." Well maybe you're not, but your kind is. That makes you dangerous by default. Damn generics. Oh, and damn Sirius who got you into this mess. You have homework! And the full moon is tomorrow; how the bloody hell are you supposed to finish it if you're stuck being a stupid canine all night? Oh, who cares? You won't be sleeping tonight anyways. Might as well get it over with. But y'know, you have to get through detention first. Dammit Sirius.
Two bloody hours later, you leave the classrom, dismissing the calls of Sirius to wait for him. Smirking, you relive how you'd tipped him out of his chair only moments ago. Serves him right. You decide to take te long way back to the common room, knowing Sirius won't waste his time getting back to that pretty fifth year. Well, pretty by Sirius' standards; he certainly doesn't have to worry about you stealing her.
You hear voices around the corner, slowing to eavesdrop. Hey, you weren't a Marauder for nothing. Speaking of Marauders, was that James' voice? And of course, Lily's. What were they arguing about now?
"Potter, go back to the common room." Lily says. Hm, her voice was surprisingly calm, they must have just met up.
"Just let me stay with you, please?" he whines. It's all you can do not to laugh, you can almost see his famous puppy dog face. "I don't want you roaming the castle alone."
'I can take care of myself." She sighs, "I just really want to finish these patrols and get back to my room."
"Let me help you."
"No, Potter. Go back to the common room before I give you detention."
"You know that doesn't scare me anymore, Evans." Oh snap, he brought out the last name.
"I know it will if I say it's with Trelawney." You can almost hear her smirking, of course, you know she always wins. Oh, crap. They'd been getting closer and were almost around the corner you were hiding behind. Time to act.
"Oh, Remus." Lily says, shocked, "What are you doing up?"
"On my way back from detention." She opens her mouth to question you, but you cut her off. "Sirius." She shuts her mouth and nods. No further explanation needed.
"Well, go back to the common room, then." she says, "Take this tosser with you, please." She gestures to James, who just looks proud instead of insulted. Freak.
"Come on, Prongs." You say. "Leave it. Annoy her tomorrow, before you get yourself hexed so bad you won't be able to have children when the two of you get married."
"Remus!" Lily shrieks, while James just smiles.
"Night, Lils." you say, winking at her. Sirius really has rubbed off on you. You lug James down the corridor and he smirks at you.
"You really think we're gonna get married?" he askes.
You scoff, "Of course."
"Then why won't you help me get her!" He exclaims, whacking you on the shoulder.
"Because you're violent!" You rub your arm for emphasis. "And I think it will be funnier watching you do it by yourself, not to mention necessary."
"I give up on you." he shakes his head. You approach the portrait and enter after giving the super-secret password. Yeah. Okay. "If she won't let me follow her while she knows, I'm gonna go get the cloak and do it while she doesn't." Does he realise how creepy that is?
"James, you can't do that!" You call up the stairs after him. "Fine," you mutter, "don't have children.