"I can't live like this anymore Alan!"
Alanna's stepmother's shrill voice came through the door loud and clear and her brother Thom winced.
"I think we might've pushed her a little too far this time," he said.
"Relax," Alanna said, with far more confidence than she felt. "What's the worst she can do?"
"It's not about what she can do," her brother said, dragging his hand through his already messy red hair. "It's about what he can do."
"Well he's already sentenced us to at least another four years with her," Alanna said. "That's punishment enough."
"Alanna! Thomas!" her father called.
"Time to face the music," Thom said with a wry smile.
The two children walked into their father's study. Standing behind his desk with her hand on his shoulder was their stepmother Kay. Alanna glared at her. Despite the fact that her hair was coming out of her usually orderly bun and her dress had a huge tear on the side, there was an unmistakable gleam of victory in her crystal blue eyes.
"Your mother and I," their father started.
"Stepmother," Alanna said, cutting him off. "She's our stepmother."
"And thank god for that," Kay said, flipping her blonde hair away from her face.
"Well," Alan Trebond continued, ignoring the interruption. "We have decided that maybe this house has gotten a little small for all of us."
"Dad this is the biggest house in town," Alanna scoffed. "You'd have to build a bigger one if we wanted to move."
"I don't think that's what Dad means," Thom said slowly, his violet eyes boring into their father's face. Alanna suddenly felt a little nervous.
"What are you saying?" she asked, wishing the hardness in her brother's eyes would dissipate.
"Dad's sending us away, aren't you Dad?" Thom said, the intensity in his eyes trickling over into his words.
"We have decided," their father said, resolutely avoiding Thom's gaze. "To send you both to Corus."
"To live with Uncle Coram?" Alanna asked.
"Not exactly," their father said. "Thom will go to Corus Academy and you will go St. Agatha's."
"Why can't we both go to St. Agatha's?" Thom asked. Although his tone was flat Alanna could sense the tension bubbling beneath it.
"Because it will do you two good to be away from each other," their father said sternly, finally looking his children in the face. "And you need to learn how to be a man Thom. Corus Academy will be a good teacher. And I've already filled out the forms. They'll go to Corus tomorrow." He reached inside his desk and pulled out two brown envelopes with the names Alanna Trebond and Thomas Trebond printed on the front.
"You can't!" Alanna said, the words bursting from her mouth. "Dad they're going to kill him."
"Nonsense," her father said, dismissively. "Maybe they'll wean him away from his… ah…odd proclivities."
"Yes because sending me to a school with only boys is going to make me un-gay isn't it Dad," Thom said, his face suddenly pinched.
"Your father only wants what's best for you," Kay said, her tone utterly and disgustingly triumphant.
"Well I suppose even four years in hell is nothing compared to four years with you," Thom said smoothly.
Kay's perfectly smooth skin wrinkled as she began to form a retort.
"Oh save it you heinous cliché," Alanna said rudely. "Are we all done here Dad?"
He just grunted.
"You're always welcome to come home for the holidays," Kay said, her tone sickly sweet.
"We'd rather stab our eyes out with forks," Alanna said, slamming the door behind her.
"They are going to kill me aren't they?" Thom said.
They were both sprawled out on Alanna's bed. The fake stars that Alanna had pasted on her ceiling when she was seven winked at them.
"You never know," Alanna said comfortingly. "Maybe you'll make friends."
"Yes because there's nothing that a bunch of testosterone filled adolescent males like more than a weedy homosexual," Thom said bitterly.
"Maybe it's changed since Dad's time," Alanna said. "He's ancient anyway. Maybe it's a progressive haven now."
"Places like Corus Academy don't change," Thom sighed. "They pride themselves on their complete lack of adaptability."
"Well how do you think I'm going to do at St. Agatha's?" Alanna asked. "I'm not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed I am? Their average SAT score is 2370. Not their highest. Their average."
"Are you seriously complaining about having to study a little?" Thom asked incredulously. "Al they're going to murder me. And the teachers will probably watch and laugh."
"We were born in the wrong bodies," Alanna said. "Can you imagine how much easier life would be if I had to go to Corus Academy and learn how to ride a horse and fence and do all that crap."
"And I would go to St. Agatha's and actually learn something useful," Thom said wistfully.
Suddenly Alanna sat up straight.
"I've just thought of something brilliant," she said excitedly.
Thom groaned. "Al one of your hare-brained schemes is the reason we're in this position. Please don't."
"I'll go to Corus Academy as you and you go to St. Agatha's as me," she said. "It's perfect. We're basically identical and it's not like anyone knows us there anyway right? So we can just switch places."
"Al we might look alike," Thom said. "But we still look like a boy and a girl."
"Come on," Alanna urged. "I'll strap my boobs down and-"
"I'll strap my Adams apple down?" Thom asked dryly.
Alannah looked at him thoughtfully. "You're right," she said. "Even though, lets face it, I'm definitely more built than you, you still look like a boy."
"And you still look like a girl," Thom said. "Even if you are more "built" than me." he made air quotes around the word built.
Alanna ignored him and pulled him up off the bed and dragged him in front of her large mirror.
"I could totally be you," she said, as they studied themselves.
The twins were an unusual looking pair. They both had a striking combination of red hair and violet eyes, however Alanna was undoubtedly the more athletic looking of the two with broad powerful shoulders she had inherited from her father, while Thom was slim with an ethereal air that was entirely absent from his earthier sister.
"You do look more like a guy than I do," Thom said thoughtfully, earning himself an elbow in his ribs from his sister.
"What?" he said. "You're the one who thinks it's a good idea to switch genders."
"Hmm," Alanna looked at her brother thoughtfully.
"What?" he asked warily.
"Well technically only one of us needs to switch genders," she said. "St. Agatha's is a co-ed school."
"Yes but they're expecting a girl aren't they?" Thom said. "It'll throw them a bit when I turn up."
"What if they're expecting a boy?" Alanna asked. "I mean we can print out an application form, fill it out and replace the one that Dad's going to send."
"And school reports?" Thom asked. "Dad's going to be a little surprised when two reports for Thom appear on his desk and none appear for Alanna, isn't he?"
"We'll get them to send the reports to Uncle Coram," Alanna said.
"So we're bringing other people on board this little deception are we?" Thom groaned.
"Uncle Coram won't mind," Alanna said brushing his concerns aside. "You know he thinks Dad's full of crap. I'm sure he'll be fine with this."
"You have a lot of faith in Uncle Coram," Thom muttered.
"I'll handle him," Alanna said confidently. "So are we going to do this?"
"Why can't we both just go to St. Agatha's?" Thom asked feebly, almost in a last ditch attempt to escape from the web of intrigue his sister was spinning.
Alanna sighed. "For someone so smart you can be pretty dumb sometimes," she said. "Dad's going to send the fees to two separate institutions isn't he? One of us has to go to Corus Academy."
"You're doing this for me aren't you," Thom said, his normally steady voice breaking a little. "You're a good little sister Al."
"Excuse me," she said mock affronted. "I'm three minutes younger than you. And I'm definitely bigger than you."
"You're an idiot," Thom said with a laugh, giving her a hug.
"So much love," Alanna said, secretly quite gratified.
"So what's our plan of action?" Thom asked.
"You fill out the St. Agatha's application form and forge Dad's signature," Alanna said. "I'll create a distraction so you can switch the fake form for mine."
"You make perpetrating fraud sound remarkably simple," her twin said an amused smile on his face.
"It's because it is that simple," Alanna said.
"What are you going to do after high school?" Thom asked. "You can't do anything with a diploma that has my name on it can you? How are you going to go to college?"
"I'll figure it out," Alanna said, waving away his doubts. Just print the thing out. I'm going to cause a distraction."
"I need time," Thom said, in panic. "You can't do it now."
"Don't worry," his sister said. "It's going to be a delayed distraction. I'll give you half an hour."
Her brother just shook his head. Sometimes he wasn't quite sure how the two of them could be related let alone twins.
As he pulled up the forms for St. Agatha he was suddenly struck by the thought that having two Thomas Trebond's running around Corus might be cause for some questions. Making a split second decision he decided to pull up the Corus Academy forms up as well. He reasoned he would just tell Alanna about this after everything was done. Thom quickly filled out the forms, finding it surprisingly easy. He then printed them out and carefully signed his father's name on the bottom. He looked at the clock and grinned. He still had two minutes to spare. He looked over them feeling an odd sense of relief. While he knew he was potentially ruining his sister's life, his happiness at not having to go anywhere near Corus Academy far outweighed any guilt he felt. Thom was (and this was something he was entirely aware of) a rather selfish boy. He supposed he had inherited in from him father. It was comforting to think that, Thom thought dreamily.
Then like clockwork, at exactly 8:20 p.m. there was a loud screech.
"ALAN!" His stepmother's shrill voice permeated the house.
Thom recognizing this was his cue grabbed the two forms and made his way to his father's study. He waited till he saw the burly form of his father exiting before he snuck in, being careful to touch as little as possible. He pulled his father's desk draw open and extricated the forms. He could hear vague snippets of the lecture his father was giving Alanna and grinned at her blithe tone.
"Just thought Kay might like a going away present," Alanna said, sounding entirely unapologetic.
"Well it's definitely your goodbye," Kay's voice rang out spitefully.
"Yes thank god," Alanna said deadpan.
Thom made the switch hastily and left. There was no turning back now. It was all up to Alanna.
a/n: So I hope you like this. Please tell me what you think. I love this series so I thought I'd do a modern AU. It's going to have all the characters from the first two books at least and it's going to be a loose adaptation.