The Becoming of Shin-Ra
The characters and locations in this fan fiction are those of Squaresoft's Final Fantasy VII, and they own full copyright of them, not I.
1993 - February 18th - 11:12pm
Rain swept across the Neo-Shin-Ra Building in Sector 5 of Midgar. It loomed over the slums, and that of two people, who stood at the buildings doors. One of the two was humanoid, and called Strife, Cloud, whilst the other one was robotic, named Cait Sith.
"I don't think this is wise, Cloud." Cait Sith muttered. After the Sephiroth Incident, Reeve went into hiding, leaving a man named Cid to built an artificial intelligence chip to use on Cait Sith to emulate Reeve's personality. Cloud thought it worked quite well, yet the new A.I. Caith Sith was not as shifty as previous. Cloud swept his wet, blonde hair out of his face.
"We can't fail. All we have to do is kidnap the new President of Shin-Ra and bring her to Cid's airship." Cloud replied. Cait Sith's programming intelligence has this to say about the new President of Shin-Ra.
Name: Yuffie Kisaragi. Age: 19. Ethniticity: Wutaian. 'Yuffie is a ex-MISS (Midgar Investigative Special Service) Agent, who after gaining her way to the top, found herself as the new Presidenta of Shin-Ra. However, this is information concerning Yuffie's memory, as this is not factual. Yuffie is in fact a citizen of Wu-Tai, yet after the events of Sephiroth had her memory erased by Rufus, and a new memory replaced within. While this seems most far-fetched, it is quite simple, but to explain it would take a great deal. Let's just shorten it to: "So she swallowed a memory chip? Why don't she jus' shit it out?" as Barret would say.'
"We must excersize extreme caution from now on, Cloud. Let's enter from the back entrance." Cait Sith explained. Cloud shook his head and entered from the front. Cait Sith had no choice but to enter with him. They were in a reception area. The lady at reception, or Aeris as she was formerly known by, looked up from her Daily Midgarian Woman Mag to look at this new people. Of course, she did not recognize them, as she had befallen the same fate as Yuffie.. although she was too dim to be placed as high as Presidenta. Cloud erased previous memories of Aeris so as to not alert suspicion.
"Hey, handsome." Aeris smiled. Cloud walked over. "May I help you?" she continued.
"I have an appointment with Presidenta Kisaragi." Cloud replied. She picked up a folder and opened it, revealing an appointment list.
"I'm sorry, you are..?" she asked quite innocently.
"Mr...Tempest, first name...Cecil.." he couldn't use his real name, so he made one up on the spot.
"Let me see.. " she quickly looked back and forth on the register. "I'm sorry, Mr. Tempest, but your name does not appear to be on this list." she looked up at him. Cait Sith bounced back and forth nervously. "Oh. Is your cat alright?" she asked. Her actions were more feminime than before, she moved her hand to her mouth whilst saying it.
"I'm quite fine, thank you, miss." Cait Sith replied. Her eyes widened.
"It spoke!" she cried.
"I can do more than just speak you know." he exclaimed.
"Sorry, miss. It's a robot... friend." Cloud interrupted. Cid had been a bastard and put quite a perverted A.I. chip on Cait Sith.
"Oh,.." she replied.
"I am positive this is the time, the appointment man said 11:20pm... could you please ask the appointment manager?" he asked. Aeris nodded and smiled.
"Please wait here a moment." she excused herself and left via the door behind her desk. Cloud picked up the magazine, for reasons you'll find out later.., and ran over to the elevator.
"Come on Cait, this is our chance!" Cloud whispered. Cait ran over to him and they both entered the elevator. Security is more strict in this new Shin-Ra building, so they could only stop at Floor 20, although they needed to get to Floor 35. What a bother!
"Right." Cait started to speak. "All the employees at this floor have left for home, all that is left are the computers filling in whilst everyone isn't here. I can't tap into the computer to allow us to go up to Floor 35, as it will set off security, so I'm afriad we'll have to get there by climbing." Cloud sighed at hearing this, the girly magazine still clutched in his hands. At the same time, Aeris was wondering where her magazine and the gentleman were after her failure in finding the appointment manager. They walked over to a door marked 'Engineer Room'. "This is the room. We can access the duct to get up to the next floor from here. The heat is shut off during the night to allow less energy consumption, so don't worry about heat exhaustion." Cait Sith informed Cloud. Cloud was dissapointed, he thought he looked quite attractive when hot and sweaty, but that's because of his great ego. They tried the doorhandle, yet to no avail; it was locked.
"It's locked!" Cloud cried.
"Keep your voice down!" Cait Sith whispered. Too late. A small echo groped the walls around them...
雑音乃レベル壱検出。
"Huh! What was that? I didn't understand a word." Cloud whispered.
"I can translate it for you. The security system was concieved in Wu Tai, so of course you can't understand it. The computer said "NOISE LEVEL ONE DETECTED". If the noise level goes past three, we'll have all the security shit on our backs, so please keep quiet." Cait Sith muttered. Cloud found it amusing: vulgarness mixed with politeness, yet he promised to Cait he wouldn't shout anymore.
"So, any fancy ideas on how to unlock this door, Cait?"
"Hang on. Don't you have a hair clip?" he asked. Cloud's face went red.
"Wh-wh-what! Of course not..."
"I can detect a metal object in your hair, why don't you take it out?"
"Only on the promise that you'll erase this moment from your memory banks!"
"...Memory isn't being recorded from now on." Cloud sighed and pulled a hair clip from his blond locks. "Now insert it in the crack between the frame and the door and slide it upwards." Cloud did as was suggested and the door unlocked.
"What a crappy lock for such a highly technologically advanced secuirty system." Cloud pondered.
"Why must you always state the obvious, Cloud?" Cait Sith snapped, as he jumped up to pull on the door handle. The door opened, and they both went in.
It was pitch dark in the Engineer's Room.
"Turn on the light, Cloud." Cait suggested. Cloud fumbled around on the damp walls for a lightswitch and came across a dial. He turned it anti-clockwise, yet it wouldn't turn, so he tried clockwise, and it did. The lights came on from a dim light to a strong light and they closed the door behind them. The room was a bit ...crappy compared to the sleek futuristic look of the inner building. Porn magazines littered one corner of the room.
"We-hey-hey!" Cloud shouted as he ran over to the porn magazines.
上雑音乃レベルへ弐します。
"Uh oh. What did it say that time?" Cloud breathed out, nearly falling over at the creepy monotonious echoey voice of the computer.
"Nothing much, except "ADVANCING TO NOISE LEVEL TWO". You've got to keep it down, Cloud!"
"I didn't think it would hear me in this room." he whispered while drooling over the magazines. One magazine caught his eye. It was the Shin-Ra Heart Love Heart magazine. A woman named Tifa (who was also 'possessed' by Shin-Ra Co.) was on the front, glossy page in a pink thong while cupping her breasts in both hands.
"Woah, Tifa! Hehehe.." Cloud exclaimed.
"If you are done oogling the magazines, can we get a move on?" Cait suggested. Cloud was dissapointed, but knew they must. He threw Aeris' magazine down on the pile (which caused the engineer, the next day, to realize his inner-homosexuality by reading the womanish sop stories) and picked up one of the porno magazines with Tifa on the front. "What are you doing, Cloud?"
"Oh, nothing, I just think this magazine would be better than Aeris'... you know.. better quality paper.." Cloud made that excuse up on the spot.
"Sure, whatever. Let's just get a move on. Remove this board." Cait Sith pointed to a metal board the leant against a metal wall. Cloud moved it to the side with the magazine clenched in his teeth; he tried not to show how difficult it was to move. After the metal board was out of the way, Cloud peeked his head into the duct and looked up. It was a large metal ventilation and heat duct used primarily on the floors the descended from 30; it would be big enough for Cloud to fit into. "Lift me up on your shoulders and let's climb up it. Do you have the suction shoes?" Cait asked. Cloud reached into the bag at his side and pulled out two suction shoes that resembled high heels. Cloud remembered back to a party him, Cid, Barret and the rest of the gang were having where Cid swore he would get Cloud in high heels one day. It seems he has accomplished this feat. Cursing under his breath, Cloud slid the heels on, they formed perfectly around his feet as to not allow the shoes to fall off. He lifted Cait onto his shoulder, pushed his back into the duct and pushed upwards on the side of the duct with the shoes, easily allowing access going up the duct. He kept on going, almost completly out of breath, when they reached Floor 30. Cloud punched the metal board out of the way on this floor and pulled himself inside. He shoved the shoes and the porno mag, which was still in his teeth, into his bag at his side whilst Cait clambered off his head.
"That's the last time I bloody wear those shoes." he remarked.
"Now is not the time for promises, idiot. Let's just get to work! You know that this floor has Synthetic-Heat-Intrustion-Tiles right?" Cait asked.. Synthetic-Heat-Intrusion-Tiles, or S.H.I.T. are a new security measure which detects heat from peoples shoes, hands or feet, depending on wether the person was crawling, walking bare-footed or in shoes across the floor, and would be able to identify that person. Cloud's ID on the computer system was not there, so a security alert would take place, so he couldn't afford to waltz across the S.H.I.T. floor.
"Of course, let's do it, Cait." Cloud replied. They exited the room they entered and stood upon a part of the floor that didn't contain S.H.I.T. He tore one page of the porn magazine off and placed it on the S.H.I.T. floor. He stepped upon it, repeated the page ripping thing and did this until he would eventually reach the elevator that would go up to Floor 35. He got about half-way when he was about to rip off a page containing a nude shot of Tifa. She was leaning over a table wearing nothing but a smile and a feather sticking out of her--- he slipped up because of this distraction and landed on the floor with a THUMP.
S.H.I.T.侵入者検知配備関鍵運転モード
もう一度
S.H.I.T.侵入者検知配備関鍵運転モード
"The computer is saying "S.H.I.T. INTRUDER DETECTED, DEPLOYING LOCK AND KEY OPERATING MODE". We've got to hide, Cloud!" Cait shouted.
上雑音乃レベルへ参します。
"Oops. I just made it reach Noise Level Three."
英語話検知・・・ "English Speech Detected.."
COVERTED TO ENGLISH SPEECH MODE "I don't think I need to translate that, Cloud." Cait sighed.
INTRUDER ALERT ON FLOOR 30, I REPEAT, INTRUDER ALERT ON FLOOR 30
"Quick, we must hide, now!" Cait cried. Cloud jumped up from the floor, grabbed Cait Sith and ran into the toilet. Two Level Two Security Guards ran into the room to investigate.
"So, uh, what do we do now?" one of the guards said. Extremely luckily for Cloud and Cait Sith, this was both of their first's days, so they were pretty much useless. One guard pressed a switch by the elevator which deactivated the alarm system.
NOW REVERTING TO NORMAL OPERATING MODE...
今正規モード。今正規モード。
"That voice totally creeps me out.." the other guard said. "It was probably a rat or something, I can't see anyone." he stupidly remarked. "So, did you watch the female mud wrestling last night?" he asked, as both of the guards descended in the elevator.
"That was close, Cloud. How could Tifa distract you like that! It was just a picture, geez, you've seen her tits before you know." Cait exclaimed. "...What are you doing! Don't use the toilet!" Cloud flushed.
"Why not?" Cloud asked.
固体廃棄物慎重吟味・・・同一視所属不明。人終了初めて。
"Solid Waste Examination. Unkown Identification. Subject's Termination Starting. That's why not."