Never written from Regulus' pov before, but driving home the other day the song "Remember Everything" by Five Finger Death Punch came on, and suddenly I had linked it to him and then this came out when I got home somehow... so yeah! Hope you enjoy :) Please leave a review if you did? :p
Oh, dear mother, I love you
I'm sorry, I wasn't good enough
He had tried. He really had. But he wasn't cut out to be a Death Eater. He hated not living up to his mother's expectations, he knew how much she wanted to see him do well, especially after his brother Sirius had been such a disappointment to her. But he just couldn't do it.
Dear father, forgive me
'Cause in your eyes, I just never added up
In my heart I know I failed you, but you left me here alone
His father had raised him with the ideas of blood purity. He had been brought up with the notion that purebloods were the only ones with a right to live. Regulus hadn't always understood though, and he thinks now that perhaps Orion knew all along that he wasn't completely devoted to the cause that the rest of the Black family dedicated their lives to.
Oh, dear brother, just don't hate me
For never standing by you or being by your side
He should have followed in Sirius' footsteps. He had idolised his brother as they grew up, wanted to be just like him, but after Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor the family had shunned him and Regulus had no choice but to do the same. Or, at least he thought he had no choice. There is always a choice, but making the right decision isn't always easy.
Dear sister, please don't blame me
I only did what I thought was truly right
He's making the right decision now, though. He knows it. He hates that he is letting people down. Especially Bellatrix. She may only be his cousin, but to him she had been more like a sister, especially after he was made to disown Sirius. Bella had been the one who encouraged him into the Dark Lord's circles and had convinced everyone of his worth. They had fought side by side in battle. But no more.
If I could hold back the rain, would you numb the pain
'Cause I remember everything.
If I could help you forget, would you take my regrets?
'Cause I remember everything.
He couldn't forget his mistakes. They haunted him at night; unrelenting and painful. He was so young, yet he regretted so much. If only he hadn't made the choices that had led him here. Maybe every path would have led to his death, but at least he would have died free from guilt.
It's a long and lonely road, when you know you walk alone
He couldn't tell anyone what he was doing. It would only cause trouble for them if the Dark Lord ever found out that they had knowledge of his actions. He trusted only one other being; his family's house elf, Kreacher.
They went to the cave that night. Regulus was to drink the poison and then Kreacher was to switch the Dark Lord's horcrux with an identical locket Regulus had had made. The ever-loyal house elf performed his duty, but did not wish to leave his master. He was, however, forced to obey this final command and so he left as the inferi began to drag the turncoat into the water.
"I'm sorry."
The last words whispered before he was submerged.