"LESSONS" PARODY.

I'm back again I'm having a bit of a time getting into this one as much...cause the spoilers are older and I'm not all fired up about it. But I'm doing my best. I think we should see some ep 3 spoilers soon, and I'll get on those too!

DISCLAIMER: I am NOT JOSS! I just like his silly little show a lot!

SPOILERS FOR SEASON SEVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Xander, Buffy, Dawn, and Anya sit in the high school library. Joss Whedon enters dressed as a janitor.

BUFFY: Hey! I know that guy!

XANDER: Yeah! Dude, we haven't seen you in a year! And good thing too, cause Spike would be in way better shape if you had been here!!

DAWN: So, why are you here now?

JOSS THE JANITOR: I'm just here to clean up last year's mess.

DAWN: Yeah, last year was weird. What went wrong??

JOSS THE JANITOR: Never leave your tv show in the hands of a bitter woman.

ANYA: Good to know. Now that I am actually an important part of the show I get a LOT more one liners!

BUFFY: Why is Anya here?

JOSS THE JANITOR: Cause she DESERVES TO BE! Plus, now that she's a demon with no soul, I have to get her around Xander more so that just when you think she's good she can rape him!

ALL: Oh.

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Spike lies on a cardboard box below the high school.

SPIKE: I've been down here for three weeks, you'd think by now someone would notice me.

Enter Joss the Janitor.

JOSS THE JANITOR: Well, we were going to have the scoobies talk to you, but some other storylines got in the way.

SPIKE: What gets in the way of a show's cliffhanger?

JOSS THE JANITOR: Dawn's new friends! It's very important that the audience immediately become obsessed with Dawn.

Joss Exits, taking a script that says "GREAT SPIKE STORY" and throwing it in the trash can as he leaves.

Enter Buffy.

BUFFY: Joss told me to come down here. GASP!!! SPIKE!!!!

SPIKE: GASP!!!!!!! BUFFY!!!!!!!!

BUFFY: Wow, I have missed you!

SPIKE: Really? You should hate me, I'm a horrible person.

BUFFY: I know! I DO HATE YOU!

SPIKE: Buffy I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for everything. I'll stay away from you from now on.

BUFFY: No, Spike, you don't have to do that, I did some pretty messed up thing too.

SPIKE: No, it was all my fault.

BUFFY: Damn straight it was!

SPIKE: Huh? But you just said...

Buffy looks confused, walks up to Spike, kisses his check, then bitch slaps him.

SPIKE: What's this all about?!?

BUFFY: The spoilers all conflict each other...I have no idea what to do!

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Xander and Buffy are in the library with Dawn, Kit and Carlos. The Master, Glory, Warren, Faith and Adam do the cancan behind them all through the scene, no one notices.

XANDER: So, what's in the basement?

BUFFY: Oh, I don't know.

XANDER: You're hiding something Buffy. I built that basement with my construction company, and we specifically left room for an evil fiend to make his home down there!

BUFFY: Xander, we need to have a talk. I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I am actually kind of upset with you. This whole Spike thing, you-

XANDER: OHHH! Look! Dawn and her new friends are talking...and is fifteen minutes they will start seeing ghosts and we'll have to create sympathy for them so that fans will be concerned!

BUFFY: Oh yes! Let's drop EVERYTHING, KIT CARLOS AND DAWN ARE TALKING!!!!!!!!!!

KIT: You know, B-I-T-C-H...

CARLOS: A bitca?

BUFFY: Wow is THIS exciting!

TBC VERY SOON!!!! R&R please!!!!!!!