This is a fic composed by the two masterminds, Jotunchick11 (Me), and SorceressSupreme.
There will be crude humor and language, some things in the story ahead are not recommended for sheltered children or children under the age of 12. Feel free to check out our other stories, or tell me if you want your story idea posted through me... And trust me when I tell you this I will not take credit for your ideas ;)
This story has the following pairs:
Darcy (Trigger-happy taser chick)+Loki (Megalomaniac, god of Mischief and Lies)= Dorki (god of mischief and tasers)
Stephen Strange (The Sorcerer Supreme)+Astrid Blake (The procrastinator and biggest distraction in this world, also known as Nightwatcher)= Astren (Sorcererwatcher)
Lolz
''I am going down this dark creepy cellar... No matter what you say.'' Darcy boasted, going down the flight of steps. The cobblestones made the journey bumpy and all the more creepy for Darcy Lewis.
''Be careful... Wait, I'm coming with you!'' Her friend Astrid called out, her echoing footsteps alerting Darcy of the woman's approach.
A rat squeaked and scrambled over Darcy's foot, her flip-flops not protecting her at all. She squealed and kicked it hard, which sent it flying away from her and Astrid.
''What is it?'' Astrid squeaked, her hand lightly touching Darcy's shoulder.
''A rat... We need to tell Stephen that he has an infestation.'' Darcy whispered, suddenly afraid of everything else that might lurk in the darkness.
The stairs ended and flattened out into an oval-shaped room. A small pillar sat in the center and on top of it was a glowing red stone. ''It's a fire opal.'' Darcy whispered in awe, recognizing the glowing stone. But why was it glowing?
Astrid reached out her hand longingly, her fingers extended towards the stone.
''Astrid no!'' Darcy yelled, putting out her hand, she felt herself slip, then her fingers brushed against the surface of the glowing gem. Her world spun, and then all was black.
Loki looked towards Stephen impatiently, ''They've been gone for half a day, we should search this hell-hole of a mansion and try to find them. Wong assures me that they never left the house.''
Stephen sighed and rubbed at his temples, ''Fine! We'll go look for them, but when they complain of me overreacting... I'm blaming you.''
Loki groaned and stood up, he hated Stephen so much it was killing him. He'd prefer to be in his brother's hands rather than the Sorcerer Supreme's.
Stephen cast a short spell, searching for their auras. ''They're located in my basement... But of course you wouldn't know where that was.'' He grumbled, heading out of his study and leading them through a labyrinth of hallways and studies. He finally stopped at an open door, which led down into a dark and no doubt rat-infested cellar.
''There is no might on Midgard or Asgard that will get me to go down there.'' Loki said haughtily, looking with disgust as Stephen descended the steps, the light he had conjured getting dimmer as he continued into the darkness.
''Coward.'' Stephen said loudly, his challenge ringing through the darkness.
Loki scowled, he loved Darcy... But he detested Strange... The man was just, too perfectly nonchalant. He growled and stomped his foot on the ground, then loudly went down the steps. He was soon swallowed into darkness.
Darcy groaned loudly, rubbing her head. She remembered the opal, touching it, and then being thrown back against the wall Then she had passed out. ''Astrid.'' She called out, her voice echoing in the empty chamber.
''Over here.'' Astrid's voice groaned, coming from Darcy's left.
She went over to Astrid, unsteady on her feet. ''What happened?'' She asked drowsily.
''I don't know... I think something exploded in our faces.'' Astrid sounded out of breath, and very... Odd.
''Are you okay?'' Darcy leaned down, her fingers lightly brushing against Astrid's forehead, it came back sticky. ''You're bleeding!''
''It's just a scratch... I'm fine really.'' Astrid replied, sounding a little better as she stood up.
''I think we should go back up, I don't know about you but I'm sick of the dark.'' Darcy groaned, rubbing the side of her face. It stung and she suspected it was scraped.
''Agreed.'' Astrid replied, feeling her way to the wall. ''We'll have to find our way to the staircase, but that shouldn't take long.'' She was trying to sound positive, but Darcy could hear the panic in her voice.
Darcy felt for the wall and tripped. A stone jutted into her gut. She cursed and picked it up, fascinated by how smooth it was. Darcy felt for the wall again, this time on her knees. She felt the little altar thing the stone had been on, and placed it on there. Instantly a glow filled up the room.
''Thank God there's light.'' Astrid mumbled, coming over to the light. Darcy could see a long gash up the side of her face, her knees bloody and scraped as well.
Footsteps approached, and they both looked up, seeing Stephen and a rather disheveled Loki with him. Loki had a bloody forehead and his face was bruised, leaving Darcy to wonder what had happened to him.
''Loki fell down the stairs because he was foolish enough not to bring a light.'' Stephen explained, striding over to Astrid. He muttered a few quick words and her cut was gone. Blood was the only reminder of the past wound.
''Are you okay?'' He whispered, tilting her head back so he could see Astrid better.
''Yeah, I'm fine now.''
Darcy looked at Loki angrily. ''I know you don't like Stephen. but really? Refusing to go down the stairs with him, share his light, and then you refuse his healing! I don't know what to do with you!'' She exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air.
Loki looked at the ground, his eye swelling up and the blood drying on his face.
Darcy softened and knelt down on her knees, looking at the cut.
''Might I ask what you were doing down here?'' Stephen asked aloud, his disapproval clear. ''This is an off-limits part of the mansion, and... The fire-opal has unknown powers that could cause great harm to either of you. As you both know now from experience.''
''What kind of powers? Knocking people out is kind of a power and if that's what it does, you should use this more often in your battles.'' Darcy voiced her thoughts aloud, smiling at the sorcerer.
''I believe it did more than that...'' Stephen reached out his hand, and gently picked it up. Nothing happened.
''Maybe multiple people have to touch it?'' Astrid suggested, gesturing for all of them to touch it at once. A shock ran through them, and once again all went back.
Loki groaned, his head pounded and he couldn't see anything, ''Astrid, Darcy, Stephen?'' He whispered, his voice was high-pitched and sounded almost like... Darcy?
Astrid's voice replied soon after. ''Over here Darcy. How are you...?'' Her voice faltered and slowed to a stop.
''Darcy?! Astrid, I'm Loki! Don't play games with me.'' Loki hissed at Astrid. They had just gotten blown across the room and she was making jokes! But once again when he spoke he heard Darcy's voice.
''I know you like jokes Darcy but seriously, we all know I wouldn't joke around.'' Her voice sounded confused, and was taking a deeper tone than usual.
Loki sighed and stood up, brushing off his chest. Instead of feeling his Asgardian ensemble he felt a woolen sweater... and a bosom!
''By Odin's beard, Astrid, I have breasts!'' Loki exclaimed, feeling them all over. He was horrified, and slightly amused, but he couldn't have grown a bosom just by touching a shiny rock.
''I don't even know if Astrid's awake yet and of course you have... Breasts... You're a woman...'' Her voice trailed off, and Loki heard a gasp. ''Oh no!'' She cried.
Loki felt around, feeling his plump butt, his bosom, skinny waist, thighs, and lastly his long curly hair.
''Do I look different?'' Astrid whispered, her voice rigid and uncomfortable, ''...I know this body.''
''What do you mean? I'd hope you'd know your own body!'' Loki exclaimed, tugging at his silky locks.
''Darcy, er Loki I assume... I'm not Astrid! I'm Stephen, and you are definitely not Darcy!'' Loki's shoulders were roughly shaken, and he felt shocked by her ferocity.
''Why are you all yelling!?''
Loki froze at the sound of his own voice... But it was coming from across the room.
''Oh dear God I'm in my girlfriend's body!'' Loki exclaimed. He ran over to where he assumed his body was.
''You only just realized that?'' Astri- Stephen asked, ''Where is my body?'' Loki heard shuffling and assumed Stephen was searching.
''What's going on? I have a clingy woman on me!'' Loki's voice exclaimed. ''Wow! Who is this sexy lady? She looks a lot like me! And what the hell is going on with my voice? I'm suddenly a british dude...'' His voice trailed off, and Loki could feel Darcy (Assuming this was Darcy) feeling his body.
''Do you sound like Loki?'' He asked drily. In any other circumstance he would have liked the attention his body was receiving, but considering he couldn't feel what was happening it was just weird.
''Yeah I do... That's so weird. I have my... His body too... and his package!'' Darcy exclaimed, suddenly clinging to Loki as he had to her.
''Loki is that you?'' She asked, feeling her body hopelessly.
''Yes Darcy it's me...'' Loki replied.
''I found me!'' Stephen shouted excitedly. He started vehemently shaking his body, ''Wake up Astrid! I want my body back!''
A Stephen-sized groan filled the air. ''You are all so loud and obnoxious! My head hurts so will you please shut up so I can take a nap! Now where is Stephen? He needs to hold me... pet my hair...?'' Her voice slowed to a stop and they heard her mumble how strange it was that her voice was different.
The light was growing stronger but Loki still couldn't see its source, and he laughed when he heard Astrid's next words.
''My voice is totally wigging out and I don't know why!'' She stopped, and they saw her start to feel around. ''What happened to my boobs?! I worked so hard at growing them! All the vitamins and proteins wasted!'' She wailed, mock-sobbing.
''Stop talking, I don't want to here any more of those words coming out of my mouth. And Astrid I have your breasts. I'm sorry, I'll give them back as soon as possible.'' Stephen said firmly, clamping a hand over his body's mouth.
Suddenly a light filled the room and they could see the fire opal, sitting innocently on the cobblestone floor.
Loki made for it, praying that once he touched it he would be normal once again. His own strong arms wrapped around him and pulled him back.
''Wait!'' Darcy hissed in his ear, ignoring his struggles. Loki hated being a girl, he was so... Controlled.
''Lok- Darcy is right. What if it just messed us up more? I think if we wait long enough, we'll change back. The girl's touched the stone and when they woke they were fine. I think it just takes a small period of...'' Stephen began, his girlish voice making Darcy giggle.
''Short period of time! We've probably been down here for at least a day! And you have the nerve to say short?'' Darcy stood up, shouting at Stephen. ''I have a muscular build, packaging, and everything else Loki had! I want to be normal now!''
''Darcy calm down... Stephen is doing the best that she can.'' Astrid said defensively.
''You said she?'' Loki asked, finding it slightly amusing.
''Oh, I meant he.'' Astrid replied, her now dark black hair falling in her face. "Sorry Stephen," she mumbled, blushing.
''That's it! I'm going upstairs and finding any other source of light other than that... Thing!'' Darcy stood, and walked over to the staircase, her now long legs getting her out of sight faster than she'd thought possible.
''Well? What should we do?'' Astrid asked.
''We'll try to figure this out... Up there with Darcy.'' Stephen replied, pointing at the stairs.
''Great idea!'' Loki and Astrid said together, running after Darcy.
"Astrid are you okay?!'' Stephen snapped, rubbing his temples and trying in vain to relax in the velvet armchair. From the way that she was squirming around in his body, it was clear that she was less than comfortable.
They were currently trying to wait out the curse in Stephen's study, all of them getting cabin-fever.
''No! I'm abstaining from using the restroom.'' She replied, glaring at her feet.
Darcy smirked, but then frowned. She had used the restroom, but Astrid had too many morals to use the bathroom in her boyfriend's body.
''How do you think I feel?! I have to sit on the toilet.'' Loki hissed the word sit, as if it left a bad taste in his mouth... No, Darcy's mouth.
''That's great! I have to stand... And I have to... Ugh!'' Astrid squeezed her eyes shut and then looked at the fireplace.
Darcy was having a better time than the other people in the room because one: she hadn't drunk any more fluids (and didn't need to), and two was using her free time to read all the interesting books Stephen had.
''You'll damage my body because of your foolishness!'' Stephen snapped, automatically protective over his own body.
''Foolishness!'' Astrid stood up threateningly, Stephen's body making her look imposing.
''Okay guys. I think we should try to relax, and calm down...'' Darcy said, separating Astrid from Stephen.
''Now you're being the peacemaker. How sweet of you Darce, to finally accept that you're the omega of the group.'' Astrid hissed, her words cutting deep.
Darcy stepped back, and realizing that Stephen's body would be the only body to suffer the consequences, promptly punched Astrid in the face.
''You little-'' Stephen yelled, pulling her away from himself, ''You are both so bipolar!''
Astrid held her mouth, and then she swung her fist at Darcy. Suddenly Darcy realized that what both of the girls needed was to let of some steam.
Darcy stumbled back from the punch, and felt the blood gushing from her nose. This was kinda fun, no matter how much it hurt, because Darcy was certain that their bodies would be fine.
''Be careful with my face! And my body!'' Loki cried, hovering as he watched the two girls/men fight.
''What is going on here?!'' A new voice roared, stilling the rest of the group into shocked silence.