Title: Nothing More (Yuna's Monologue)

Author: Amethyst Jewels

Notes: Words in Italics are the character(s) speaking, regular text is narration. Words in backslashes are song lyrics.

Yuna's room

//Along the morning footpath, we always
Held hands together
I won't forget that, so
Someday hold me close to you
Because I'll love you forever and ever
I won't show you my tears
Perhaps I can find a new love
Looking at Venus//

God this is annoying! I can't even concentrate anymore!

Yuna's arms dropped to her side & she sat Indian style on the floor of her room. She was supposed to be practicing her dance for her school recital but she didn't have the desire to anymore. Instead she was thinking about a certain sun kissed blonde boy who garnered her attention lately.

Ever since I met Tidus I was taken. He was the classic boy in every girl's fantasy. Tall, strong athletic tanned body, golden hair & sea blue eyes. He moved in well over 2 years ago in sophomore year & I was smitten ever since….so was every other girl in Saint Mary's high school.

I think it was pure luck that I was chosen to be his sophomore buddy. It's supposed to be freshmen that were shown around, but since Tidus was new, they stuck him in that group. I could hear myself telling him about the various school activities & where his classes were, but inwardly I was thinking about how he looked. It was so amazing how attentive & courteous he was. Ok, so it was just because I was his guide but no one ever acted like that towards me before…& I quickly liked it.

After the tour was over, I invited him out for a soda on me & we've been friends ever since…. that was it. It wasn't like I wasn't happy! Who wouldn't be happy to have a gorgeous guy as their friend? As time went by we were close. We practically lived at each other's houses. His dad was often away on business, so sometimes I would spend the night. I would sleep in his bed & Tidus, being the gentleman, would sleep in his dad's room. Tidus's sheets smelled like the outdoors mixed with his own musky scent. Soon I was craving for it & him. It drove me crazy to the point where I just asked him out myself. That's when I suffered my first heartbreak. He started dating a girl from his Geometry class. I just nodded quietly & wished him luck before leaving him at his locker. Even when I was alone in a bathroom stall the tears didn't fall. The ache was too deep to purge with tears.

Things were a bit awkward between us after that when we were alone. Around friends I was normal because my attention was divided. Since I was his English tutor though, it was hard to teach when I was distracted by what happened. So I tried to keep it strictly business. I didn't talk about anything that wasn't school related & I left promptly right after. After about two weeks of this, it was emotionally draining. I missed things between us the way they were. During a free period I went to meet him at his locker to talk & I was taken by surprise.

One minute I was standing in front of him talking, about what I don't remember now, then the next I was pushed into the lockers &he was pressed against me. I was winded & shocked. I thought he pushed me on purpose. Before I could yell at him, his lips were crushed against mine. Tidus' lips were like satin & the scent of him made me abandon all the sense I had left in me. My arms snaked around his neck & I felt his hands settle on my hips. We kissed in the hall for what seemed like forever when a hall monitor came by. Lucky for us I knew her & she just cleared her throat breaking us out our reverie telling us the period was ending & went about her way. Before I could talk to Tidus to suggest we talk about what happened, he was halfway down the hall.

That was a week ago. I only talked to him once since then. Last night I was so sick of him playing around acting like nothing happened, so I went to his apartment unannounced to talk, afraid he'd ignore the knock if I called first.

How could you kiss me like that & say it meant nothing?!

I didn't say that! I…I…just can't now…

Because of her?! Why don't you be honest with the both of us & save all three of us heartache then?!

I started feeling like I swallowed ice. He was still committed to that girl & I was practically making out with Tidus in school. I was quickly becoming another woman.

So..so what then? You decided to try cookies from another jar? In case this batch was stale you can go back to the ones you already nibbled?! I'm not just a pawn Tidus!….Talk to me!

I'm sorry…I didn't mean it like that…

Then what do you mean?

He was quiet after that. I felt hurt bubble up in me & I left without another word. All that's left now is a stolen kiss & silent heartache. I should move on. Tidus was never my boyfriend to begin with so I shouldn't even feel this way. He was my best friend…nothing more..

//I'll go into the twilight
My radiant smile
Will go along with me
Tomorrow I'll smile again
I'll be in pain forever and ever
But my tears are gone
I will find a new love
Looking at Venus//

Song: Katagoshi ni Kinsei
("Venus Over My Shoulder")

From: PGSM.