A/N: Just like the rest of you, I don't own Monk. This is my first venture into the world of writing Monk fanfic. This is my revised version of the scene in "Mr. Monk On Wheels" where they're at the graveyard and Stottlemeyer steps in to give Natalie a break and Monk a talking to. Yes, I borrowed the dialogue from the actual episode. Rated for language.
"You got a minute?" Stottlemeyer asked.
Adrian looked at him incredulously. "Yeah, I have a minute, I'm in a wheelchair."
Stottlemeyer launched into his lecture.
"Look I know that this is tough but this is tough on Natalie too. You see this guy here? That's the guy that shot you, the guy in the body bag!"
Monk made a noise of discomfort and started wiping his shoulder.
"And you're madder at her than you are at him," Stottlemeyer continued, voice matter of fact. Inside he was seething. How the hell did this happen? This is not the Monk I know.
"She hasn't said anything," Monk said, somewhat surprised.
Damn the man for being so imperceptive, Stottlemeyer thought. Why is it Monk, that when it comes to Natalie you can't see anything that's really going on? You see everything else! "Of course she hasn't said anything" Stottlemeyer yelled, exasperated. "She blames herself for what happened! She lo—" he cut himself off mid-word. She loves you, Monk. And you're too damn selfish to see it. But he knew he couldn't tell Monk that, not now. So he shut his mouth, took a deep breath and tried again.
"Look, I know you caught a bad break, I'm sorry you're in pain I'm sorry you're miserable, sorry, sorry, sorry but you can't keep taking it out on her."
Stottlemeyer was really angry now. Though Monk was watching him closely he gave no indication that he realized how serous this was, and that really pissed off the Captain.
"Listen, Detective Monk. Be very careful because you're that close—" he held his fingers a hairbreadth's apart "—to losing that girl." He dropped his hand. "Ask me how I know," he demanded.
Monk shifted his eyes down and back up. He finally looked worried and a little uncomfortable. Maybe I'm finally getting through that thick skull of his, Stottlemeyer thought.
"How do you know?" Monk asked a hint of trepidation in his voice
Stottlemeyer couldn't tell Monk that Natalie was in love with him.
"'Cause you're acting like me." But he could tell Monk that much, and hope Monk would make the connection himself. Captain Stottlemeyer looked hard at his friend, and then walked off.
A/N 2: Hope you enjoyed it. I wasn't really planning on writing any Monk fics, but I just watched this episode today and got inspired by that scene. My Monk/Natalie shipping-muse immediately saw that clearly, Stottlemeyer was about to tell Monk that Natalie loved Monk. And I'm pretty sure Stottlemeyer was making a "luh" sound before he stopped himself. Which doesn't prove anything, I suppose, but it made my shippy heart jump with joy at the possibility.