AN: I really don't have a life, but that's okay, at least I'm entertaing you all. Anyway this is a rather LONG oneshot, but it's not quite long enough to make a story sooo yea.
WARNING: SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE!
PS-Just to forewarn you, I wasn't kidding about the smut
So...enough of my babble, ON with the fiction! Enjoy!
The sky was vivacious blue, but dreadfully cold leaking in few stray clouds. There were flusters of flurries here and there as Riza walked upon the dry, parched sidewalks when she noticed a tall man with black, messy hair… She was hopeful but of course, sadly mistaken.
Everything, she thought, reminded her of Roy.
She entered into Headquarters and pondered solicitously to herself. Sometimes, what seems lost isn't always forgotten Riza recited psychologically what her mother constantly told her, but she roamed the hallways now and felt the same ghost she faced everyday; a ghost that haunted her daily since he left.
Never in her life, she claims even so now, has she ever been this miserable. Riza couldn't be anymore furious at the Colonel for dropping his position but at the same time she thought, regrettably, how could she blame Roy? Sometimes she wondered if he really intended on leaving so abruptly or if it was just a mistake –she even wondered if he ever got lonely? Did he even miss how it used to be, back in HQ? Riza loathed the inconsistent feeling that bathed her every waking moment –she hated herself more than anything simply because she was too thickheaded to admit to him, much less to herself, that she was indeed in love with the infamous flirt, Roy Mustang. Was it obvious, she thought blushing slightly.
Love is blind –and she couldn't agree more, for she scrutinized her position thoroughly. How long had she been blind by her foolishness to truly confess, openly, that she didn't just care about Roy, but she loved him more than life itself?
Was she afraid that he wouldn't feel the same? She considered the possibility deeply but found it not to be the core of her problems –she didn't care if he loved her back, but what she was afraid of was more universal… She was afraid to never be able to tell him these things, more so now that he's been out of touch for nearly months; Riza Hawkeye, the sharpshooter who never once feared to bite the bullet now trembled at the thought of never telling the man she loved those three simple words I love you.
Riza tried fixating on her paperwork now but found it to be of a useless battle –she yawned quietly, and then groggily loafed around, scratching her eyes.
"Have you ever considered taking a day off once in awhile, Hawkeye?" Havoc asked now, paying a concerned look. She glanced at him half-awake and studied him while thinking to herself, he's got to be kidding, right?
"What are you suggesting?" Riza asked.
"Haven't you looked in the mirror lately?" He questioned.
Immediately, as if instinct, she touched her face feeling somewhat insecure and she sought to retaliate.
"No, no," He laughed, "I didn't mean it like that."
"I should certainly hope not," She scoffed, "For your sake," Riza then smirked.
She guessed she should've seen it coming, she hasn't had a good sleep in practically weeks. She knew why, and Riza cringed at the thought of having a weak spot and hers had a name; it was named, Roy Mustang. Even when he's gone, she recoiled thinking again, he still causes me stress! She groaned suddenly, and messaged her temples.
"You okay?" He asked again, this time sincerely.
"Honestly?" She chuckled.
"Honestly." He answered.
"Alright, honestly, I've been better." She stated tiredly.
"Well go home."
"No, I have to finish these"—
"Riza," He cut sharply into her sentence, "Go home; you've been tired for weeks now."
She saw no reason to argue and at this point, she said to herself, she didn't feel like it, besides, she reassured herself once more, maybe a day off wouldn't be so bad.
She gathered her things and nodded at Jean Havoc before her departure.
Riza soared down the hallways when she passed by a familiar door and when she laid eyes on it she swung to avoid it but couldn't; it was the Colonel's former office. She stopped to peek inside but found herself walking into the dimly lit room.
Suddenly, a scar reopened as she stared at his desk and when she rubbed just the tips of her fingers against it's wood a tear escaped the refuge of her eyes. She wiped it away quickly, another fell but she allowed it to settled in the corner of her mouth.
At this point, she knew that after so long that this was her verge of collapse and how hard she fought to keep her sob to a minimum. Riza hated crying, she hated feeling week, insignificant but for this what could she control?
Between a stifle, Riza slunk to the floor trying to speak but she couldn't as she trembled softly against Roy's empty desk. Like a scared child, she her back against his counter and folded her legs and rested her chin atop her knees…She wept.
"I promised I would never leave you," She found herself indignant, and bitter as she articulate her sobs,
"But you're the one who left me." She spoke defiantly gritted her teeth, choking back tears as she quickly wiped her nose on the wrist of her sleeve.
For long drawn out moments she tried to compose herself but just couldn't stop her tremulous behavior. Riza wanted to stop crying but couldn't –she so badly just wanted to turn back time and press pause, because she thought, maybe I could tell him –tell him I love him.
Suddenly the ground asphyxiated beneath her feet, and trepidation shook the entire office, sending her falling on her side from her perch. When she glanced out the window she saw buildings of the city around her crumbling quickly and she heard screams.
She scrambled to stand, wiping away her tears and began to feel frightened. Another rumble of what felt like an earthquake shook her again causing her to fall onto the floor once more.
"Shit." She muttered, now crawling to stand and when she caught her balance she shot for the door, running into the hallway; she collided painfully with Jean Havoc.
"Report Lieutenant!" She ordered as she sat toppled on him.
"I don't know what the hell's going on. I was going to run to the communications' office and see."
"Alright. Come on." Riza immediately stood up, helping Havoc to his feet and when he stared at Riza he lifted his thumb to her face. She shook her head turning away.
"I'm fine." Her nose was pink, and her eyes swollen…
"Riza," He finally asked, "Why are you crying?"
"I'm not crying." She turned her back and started to make headway towards the communication's department but Havoc yanked her arm back.
"Roy loves you too." He whispered. Her eyes widened and she looked back at him with a serious look.
"What"—
"Breada and I took a trip up north and we visited him. We were afraid to tell you because Roy was in bad shape and I found out why; it's because you aren't there to look after him." He said very reassuringly. Riza wanted to slap him for not telling her and scream at him for not letting her tag along but found no more reason when the ground started to quake again –time stood still in the moment.
"Come on, we have to figure out what's happening." She avoided eye contact but tugged him along.
Hours later
It seemed like an eternity for Riza, she crouched behind mounds of sandbags that protected the entrance of HQ and beside her were her subordinates; they held their guns close. A pellet rocketed off of Riza's helmet giving a slight swang noise and she shivered slightly when aiming; this reminded her vividly of Ishbal. Her enemies were metallic soldiers who were very slow paced but amounted in great number.
It wasn't exactly clear who these people were or where they came from but she had a guess; Edward Elric just can't stay out of trouble can he? For that brief thought, Riza smiled as she aimed and shot another victim. The alien ship was enormous and shot with alchemy and not only that but poured thousands upon thousands of soldiers back on the ground, marching for Central's defeat.
A bullet grazed her face but she didn't flinch, she still held her gun close and shot again, this time she was out of bullets.
"Catch!" Havoc yelped, throwing a magazine to her. She nodded and quickly reloaded until a shot busted in a sandbag just beside her.
"Damn." She muttered now retreating behind the sandbags but she stared aimlessly at the sky. God, she screamed at herself, where the hell are you when we need you?
Havoc sat alongside Breada, resting his fire temporarily to wipe a sweat.
"Who are these bastards?"
A gun shot ricocheted past them, and busted into another sand bag, slinging sand into their faces; they ducked.
"Damnit." He grumbled, now retaliating with open fire.
Riza saw Armstrong coming from the corner of her eye and nodded at Lieutenant Jean Havoc and Breada who ceased fire.
"Behold," Armstrong appeared with reinforcements, ripping his shirt off and curtsying furiously.
"My beautiful artistic alchemy!" He announced slamming his fist into the cemented roads, infusing beautiful golden lights that surfaced from the ground up, plowing through the soldier's arcade. They all fell at once, leaving few stragglers.
"Major!" Fury jumped up and unaware of a block of crackled road plumenting toward him and when Riza saw she almost panicked, until Falman grabbed Fury's helmet. It slung them backward and Armstrong then flipped over the sandbags catching them.
"Major, who are they?" Falman asked now, releasing Fury.
"Looks like they're the same ones from before –but something's changed."
Just then everyone stopped firing when an officer called frantically turning around.
"Officers," He screamed, "Look behind you!" The soldier pointed to the top of Headquaters that dribbled few enemy soldiers who slid over the Amestris symbol carpet. The concrete roof was full of them who tried attacking the sniper's squad.
Riza immediately shot them along with the rest of her division. She had so many questions, who were these people? Where did they come from? Why were they here? She was so frustrated and just wanted to stop –she was afraid to keep going, because he wasn't here to tell her she'd be okay! She almost gave up until the unthinkable happened…
A bolt of red alchemy then snapped through the opposing soldiers that were left and Riza's eyes almost filled with tears. She knew that spark, that flame…it belonged to Roy.
"He's back." Havoc whispered to Breada.
The entire division stopped firing their guns and laid all eyes on a man dressed in blue uniform. His left eye covered in a patch with long bangs. His hands laced with white gloves and he marched proudly towards them.
Riza began to smile, this time warmly and she almost shook away. Was this a dream she thought. Oh god, she prayed silently, don't let me wake up.
"Warn officer Falman. Take a squad and defend the assembly hall." Roy commanded firmly, still walking causally toward them. With each passing step Riza just wanted to jump to her feet and run to him…yet she remained very composed.
"Sir!" Falman called before rushing off.
"Sergeant Fury," Roy addressed now, close to his former subordinates.
"Inform the mechanized division. We need a tank unit in central now! Crush their ranks, go!" Roy nodded.
"Yes sir!" Fury scurried off.
"You know," Havoc commented with a cigarette hanging from his lips,
"He gives a lot of orders for an enlisted man."
Just then Roy looked at them and smirked.
"Lieutenants Havoc and Breada,"
"Sir!" They shuffled to their feet, saluting.
"The Command Centers' out last strong hold, tell the generals to stop wasting their time and order all their divisions to come and defend it!" Roy said with firmness, paying them a warm glance.
"Right!" They saluted and began to run off.
Riza now gazed upon the man she had so long ago fallen in love with and felt numb. Somehow, she suspected it just to be a dream or a real wake up call –he was still alive, breathing but now he was before her. What could she say now? Was she actually growing nervous?
Roy then looked over at Armstrong who stood, towering him as ever.
"Major Armstrong," Roy said kindly, now smiling and sighing,
"You know, if we're gunna get to that aircraft…"
"Then we'll need a way to fly." Armstrong finished his sentence, understanding and nodding.
"Got it!" He turned away now, leaving Riza just to bottle all emotion as Roy gazed upon her once more. She stood saluted now, with a smile gracing her thin lips…
"We've been waiting for you sir," She said, now slowly dropping her salute.
He then approached her very quickly, wearing no type of emotion and she began to cower slightly; she still, no matter what, stood strong, and powerful.
"Sir"—
Suddenly she was locked into a thick, warm embrace and she immediately clutched back, like an infant. He was real! She couldn't hardly contain herself now as she touched his clothes; they were cold but she was warm. She could feel his cheek brushing against hers.
"Lieutenant," He said softly, in her ear.
"I've missed you."
Riza's eyes widened slightly and she hugged even tightly, letting a sigh burst from within her.
"Sir," She said, feeling his fingers taking off her helmet.
"I've missed you too."
He smiled, unlocking his clasp and watching her eyes maneuver over his own. Roy for the first time felt desperate under her watchful eyes, and he almost was inclined to kiss her but pulled back.
"Come on," He said, pulling her arm along,
"We've got to stop this."
"Yes sir!" She dropped her enormous gun and pulled out of her holster her pistols.
"Man," He said as they scurried away, with few straggling enemies behind.
"You still carry them things around?"
"Just incase you came back, sir." She answered, timidly and then she shot an unseen soldier. Roy glanced at her.
"Riza," He commented, warmly, "You haven't changed a bit."
She gasped inwardly, did she hear right, she wondered. Did he just call her Riza?
They ran together fighting any brave idiot that stood in their way and Riza watched the Flame Alchemist work just as proudly as he did before he left –why was he back, anyway? Now anger began to swell beneath her.
Unaware, she still shot for his protection when he ran off meeting Major Armstrong a few other assembled soldiers. Before Roy Mustang lay a hot air balloon that needed a little "uplifting".
"How's it coming?" Roy then asked.
"This is the best we could manage –given what we had." Armstrong reported.
"It's good enough." Roy responded now running to the limp bell of the balloon and he snapped his fingers into the opening of the elastic bubble. A spark evolved into hot air now giving the balloon life…
Riza had secured her area but when turned around she found that Roy was now boarding onto the floating aircraft. Fear ran through her –what if he didn't come back! Dammit, she cursed, I still didn't tell him that I loved him! She ran frantically.
"Stop! What are you doing!" She yelled, running wildly with her hope diminishing as he still rose higher in the air. She tried to jump but Louis Armstrong grabbed her from running any longer. Riza then stared desperately into the sky, watching Roy float off.
"Sorry Lieutenant," He teased waving his hand happily,
"Only room for one."
"You lair, come back!" She shouted worriedly.
Why did he do this? She wondered watching his image becoming vague and melting into the cloudy sky. He always did that, teasing her, and appearing more lush with each passing second and then –woosh, off away he goes, leaving Riza wanting more. This time, she concluded, she was afraid that it was a now or never situation –would she see him again?
"Come back," she whispered sadly, "Come back."
"Lieutenant," Armstrong said, "We need to defend the central in command."
She snapped from her gaze and gave him a strict look.
"Yes, sir," She nodded, "Of course."
14 hours later after all had settled down and Central was no long under attack/Riza's Apartment
Riza returned home that day uninformed of Roy's whereabouts. Ever since he was air lifted into the sky she's been was worried, but she knew he'd turn up somewhere soon enough. She was somewhat sick of running after him because it was a tireless effort –nothing had changed. Except one thing, he called her Riza, something very unlike him.
Surprisingly, her home was stable except from the few tremors from the battle before but her frame was safe. She was actually more worried about Black Hayate being home and feared for his survival if her apartment was crushed.
Riza entered through her front door and collided with a squeal. Black Hayate licked her hand as she patted his wagging tail. Clicking her lips together he scooped up and licked her pursed lips.
"Alright, alright," She whispered,
"That's enough, let mommy take a shower."
She changed from her gruddy clothes and hopped into a warm shower. Her mind kept wondering back to Roy…Often, she thought ashamedly running her nails over her wet naked skin, she wondered if she could ever spend moments like these, a shower, with Roy. It was pathetic really, but she couldn't help but to imagine him. Maybe it was just because she wished to be so close to him but other times it was just plain desire, something she just couldn't help but to wonder about. She shifted uncomfortably now, and spreading soap over her milky skin.
When she was done, she started to change into her nightclothes but only found a silky, white gown. Sighing she put it on and then dried her hair.
Black Hayate howled now as a thunder clashed outside and moments later Riza listened to the rain that pattered violently against her roof.
"Great," She muttered, throwing her dirty clothes into the hamper,
"Roy better not be out in this mess."
She sighed, now sitting herself on the couch, staring at her black puppy dog.
"Why do I worry about him so much? Huh?" She asked now and Hayate pressed his wet nose against hers as she pats him softly.
Quiet minutes passed and Riza almost drifted into a sleep until she heard a knock on her door. When she looked outside of a nearby window, she saw nothing but darkness and the occasionally flicker of lightning. She waited to see if she was hearing things but then saw Black Hayate's ear's straighten up.
The knock came again, this time louder. The pup then rushed the door, pawing it slightly and whimpering.
Riza's heart skipped beats and she got up from her couch and quickly cracked the doorway.
"Riza," A familiar voice said, and Riza then opened it wide knowing very well who it was standing before her, shrouded in darkness. Roy was drenched in rain.
"May I"—
"You don't have to ask." She grabbed his coat feeling the cold water run over her. Cold air swept through and she yanked him scared he could get sick. She knew she had to change him from those icy waterlogged clothes. Riza then quickly closed the door and saw Roy bend over to pet her dog.
"He's gotten big."
"Yes." She nodded and then grabbed Roy's cold, shivering arms. She walked him into bathroom just beyond the hallway and left him there to fetch a towel. When he glanced around he saw the mirror still held traces of fog and he smelt the lavender that stained the room. Cornflower drowned into his nose when Riza reappeared. He looked over her now unable to speak for he was in the presence of beauty.
"Riza, you don't have to."
"I want to." She said as she began to wipe his icy face. His patch was soaked too and she started to remove it when he stopped her.
"Don't you'll"—
"I've seen it before." She removed the patch now but Roy's wet bangs covered his missing eye and she withdrew for a moment.
"Don't be ashamed."
"How can't I? I stand before beauty at its perfection," He paused, catching Riza off guard with his compliment causing her blush timidly.
"Yet before you is a beast…" He said distastefully.
"You are no beast, Roy Mustang." She now draped the towel over his head, swishing the towel to catch the drenched hair. He chuckled underneath slightly and Riza smiled now.
"If you say so." He then took over towel drying his hair and Riza tending to wet patch, warming it and with a dry hand clothe.
She watched him and then fetches some warm clothes, if she had any for his size. She rummaged through her drawers and managed to find a plain t-shirt, obviously bigger than her, and pair of sweat pants. She giggled inwardly imagining Roy dressed like this.
When she returned she saw Roy putting his patch on his eye once more. She watched him for a moment as he saw his reflection in her mirror. She instantly grew distant…
"Why'd you do it?" She questioned, now laying his clothes on the bathroom counter top and unbuttoning his soaked uniform jacket.
"This isn't necessary." He insisted.
"It is; now stop avoiding my question." She persisted now taking the heavy, cold jacket off. He stood still as she continued to dry him off, peeling off the wet dress shirt underneath that clung to his figure. She didn't seem to care but only watched his piercing eyes.
"Answer me."
He didn't right away, instead he just stared solemnly at the floor.
"Did you think it was smart?" She was growing impatient, cleaning his cold wet skin in the towel. He shivered under her warmth.
"Is that it?"
"No."
"Then why Roy? I want to know! You just left us, you left all of us…for god sakes you left me!" She spoke loudly, furiously; a voice that he rarely heard.
"I"—
"No," She cut him off, now glaring face to face with him.
"Let me finish," She regained slight composure.
"You left me to tend to myself, and the rest of your subordinates. You gave us no fair warning whatsoever. Do you know how we felt; knowing our superior just ran out on us? Did you think it was a smart move dropping your position for a post out in the middle of an artic circle –or were you looking for Edward? How could you be so, so-selfish? Didn't you notice you had a family here, you had us Roy…" She paused, now ready to say it but she felt her tears forming. She didn't mean to sound so vulgar but she's been bitter for too long.
"You had me." She whispered, allowing a tear to cascade over her cheek and just it dribbled over her chin he wiped it.
"I know."
"…Then why? Was it because of Edward?"
"It was but it was because –because" He hesitated now and when she looked up she saw Roy's eyes shrew away.
"I was afraid of responsibility –I knew I could never make the State happy. I was a coward Riza… I still am." He dried himself somewhat as she stood before him…lost, forlorn and she only waited to listen.
"I'm a coward Riza, and you deserve some one who would never abandon you. Someone like you deserves devotion, desire…you deserve someone you can trust, you deserve"—
"Roy, don't tell me who I do and don't deserve."
He was taken aback slightly when he heard his name and in that brief moment he wanted to kiss her…-he did. He suddenly grasped her, pushing her against the door of the bathroom, slamming it shut and he kissed her hard.
Riza, shocked but blissful, kissed back. Roy kissed her several times on the mouth, clenching her dry, flaxen hair in his hands. He smelled the cornflower and lavender scents and smiled as he kissed her hard once more. She felt his hands sliding under her gown, picking her off the ground and sliding on her on the counter top of her bathroom, touching her delicate skin while trailing his moistened lips over her jaw line onto her neck…
"Your so cold." She whispered, taken into a temporary state of ecstasy.
"And you're so warm." He said.
Riza couldn't help but to smile as his hands touched her skin. How long were had they been waiting for this, they wondered simultaneously. The supressed desire to touch the skint of the one they loved most; each other. His fingers may have been cold but the effect they delivered set her afire. She then took his cheeks in her hands, kissing him firmly.
The flame between them instantly turned uncontrollable. Her soap and dish fell over on the floor breaking but they didn't care, they still enveloped in the course these actions were leading to. Her shelf holding bottles of sprays and a candle was knocked off but Roy still pinned her against the mirror. Somehow, eventually, they managed to crawl into the annexed room of Riza's bedrooms, now laying and embracing eachother on her bed.
Riza Hawkeye clenched the headboard as Roy Mustang, held her upright as he laying her onto her back, running his wet lips over her mouth, her jaw line, and over her trachea. A deep, exuberant moan escaped from her lips and he shivered.
So how long had he left her up here, he wondered. He was ashamed, terribly ashamed because the relationship they shared before was unstated but nevertheless true. She had always pined for him and he had always pined for her. It was simple but yet complex and although he couldn't quite explain his departure he knew well enough now that it had been a mistake…I can't believe, he thought, how much I've missed her…
"Don't you realize," He whispered as they were covered in darkness.
"That if you're caught sleeping with enlisted man, you could be arranged for Court Martial?"
"Don't you realize," She whispered, feeling aroused as his hands slid under her gown.
"That I could careless?" She pressed her lips back against his and this time he roughly pulled off her clothing, as well as his own…
"I've never been able to tell you this, Riza Hawkeye," He whispered as his naked body now pressed against hers.
"But I love you," He pushed himself inside her now, deep and coarse. Riza sighed as his lips dribbled slightly over her chest. She coiled her arms over his back and kissed his cheekbones and ear lobe.
"I love you too Roy," She whispered in his ear, almost unable to breath from the rapture she was enduring.
"I always have."
He pushed inside her again now, carving a moan from within her and he sighed clenching her soft, blonde hair between his fingers.
"Don't leave." She pleaded softly.
Truly, he thought, a magnificent woman was she. She was so prideful, yet sentimental, so strong yet showed weakness effectively, and most of all so passive yet so passionate. Underneath his unworthy, naked body was an elusive creature bound to him by dedicated bondage. She loved him but why was he such a fool? He loved her but was he truly so blind as to express it?
"I won't leave," He stopped briefly to touch her lips with his fingers.
"I promise."
I hope I conveyed the smut well -I've never really...been able to write that type of thing very descriptively. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the oneshot and like always...REVIEW!