I used to know every scar in his body, every line, every curve but as I lay on his back, running my fingers up and down his spine, I'm faced with several new scars, scars that should have not been there, scars to remind me I once walked away, I let him go. And more than anything they remind me of a phone call a feeling of terror, panic, loss thoughts that I would never see him again, that I would never have him like this and that never again I would feel safe, because I had let my safety go, threw it away, trying to tell myself I didn't need it. I knew better after that phone call, I know better now.
I suddenly find myself kissing these new scars, running my fingers through them as if this would somehow heal them; And he mumbles in approval, letting me know I'm somehow healing them. But I wish for more, I wish I could make them vanish away so I would never be reminded we spend all this time apart.
I know we needed the time, the space, I know we needed to grow for each other but still, the thought that I was for so long so far away from this skin that completes me … … that other women had it instead, not really paying attention to the traces, the lines that built him, that have made him who he is.
He turns around and we're face to face, eyes locked together noses touching and our lips an inch away.
His hand moves softly through my face moving away the hair that keep the distance between us and finally for what feels like centuries,(and it's not been an hour) we kiss again and I swear I could be left without breath I still wouldn't want it to end.
We explore every inch of each other's mouths and again I feel his lips move from there to everywhere else.
And while my body is being loved, it's every line adored, I make him swear right there it won't happen again, he won't go away and he won't let me even try to walk away.
I could cry now. I've never felt like this. My body has never been so complete and I have never been loved like this, and I swear I have never loved like this before. But than again I'm sure the world knows this, since I have never said it, I've never told anyone, not even my husband, not even my parents. I have never said the famous three words that seem to be the hardest to say. And I don't even know if I can say them. I honestly don't think I can. But God, I love this man, every line on his skin, every scar in him, my kisses get wilder, animalistic, and I'm trying hard to let him know by the way my body moves responding to his own, but I feel like this just isn't enough and before I know it I make him stop; He looks into my eyes and I'm lost, I'm twisted around, and I just can't understand the power this man has over me and all I know is "I love you"
For seconds that feel like centuries he stares at me and I want to kill myself for daring to say this. I want to find the fastest way out of there but he's suddenly smiling "I love you, Abby" And at this second it feels like I've slept with a hanger in my mouth because I can't stop smiling. I'm taken by an energy I have never felt before and I've obviously made it clear to him because he's laughing.
We're frozen in a second and he's telling me he's been looking for the right moment, the perfect way to say it but this was far better than the hundreds of ways he's picture this moment and I can't do anything else but kiss him and pick it up where we left of.