A/N: Also starring Matt Murdock as Sir Not-Appearing-In This Chapter
Foggy takes the job with Hogath, Chao and Benowitz as much because he just needs a job after Nelson and Murdock folds than for the promise of a corner office and the potential for a named partnership.
He'd joked to Matt plenty of times that he only wanted to be a lawyer for the money, but truth be told Foggy had never really wanted to work for a big, faceless firm. The appeal of Nelson and Murdock wasn't just that he was working with Matt - although that was a big part of it - but that he would have the chance to really get to know his clients, to make connections within the community and give Hell's Kitchen a safe place to look to in the face of gangs and violence and corruption. He had loved the intimacy of Nelson and Murdock, the small offices and the walk-in waiting room and the smell of home-cooked thank you meals. The way he and Matt and Karen could just shout at each other through the walls if they ever needed anything instead of having to set up conference calls. He'd never wanted the big office or the shiny floors and city view. He never wanted to defend corporations or people about whom he would know nothing but the specific details of their legal troubles. He never wanted his coworkers to be strangers who would stab each other in the back just for the chance at a promotion.
HC&B is everything Foggy had feared it would be, but it's also far more complicated than that. He misses pro-bono cases, of course. He misses people paying him in meals or favours or the promise of a good discount the next time he wants to buy a couch. But he likes being able to afford things for a change: decent food, some nice bedding, actual heating when the temperature begins to drop. Matt had gone to college on a scholarship and still had some inheritance left by his father, but Foggy had been getting by on the occasional paying client and loans from his bank and his parents. He'd shed more than a few tears making his first downpayment on those. Nothing like slowly clawing your way out of debt to lift your spirits.
He misses working with Karen and Matt; the camaraderie, the way he could just cough loudly and they would call back to him or stick their heads in his office and ask what was going on. But he likes working with Marci now, too. Being around her. They don't date, they decided never to do that again after college. Even if Foggy wanted to give it another go, Marci isn't interested in dating at all. Or romance in general, for that matter. But they do sleep together a few times, just for the fun of it. They've known each other so long and they know how to make each other feel fantastic, and afterwards they go out for drinks and talk through their cases and generally have fun together. It's nothing like getting drunk with Karen and wandering into the empty fish market and three in the morning because Marci would never, and it's nothing like sitting in Matt's apartment puzzling out their own cases and eating cheap takeaway. But it's still good, it's still great in its own way.
Foggy had forgotten what drew him to Marci in the first place: not that she's beautiful and exceedingly clever and focused and utterly terrifying, though she is all of those things and more. But because she liked him first. He likes her inner kernel of softness that she never lets anyone else see, that seems to align perfectly with Foggy's personality.
She had approached him one day in college completely out of the blue and asked if he wanted to partner for the next debate. Foggy had apologised and told her he had already agreed to work with Matt and she had smirked and fluttered her eyelashes and said "maybe next time" and Foggy had been gone. They had only dated for three months before they decided that they were better off as friends who occasionally have sex rather than partners, but the belief in Foggy's talents that Marci had displayed in that first meeting never diminished. And Foggy is sincerely, utterly grateful. It's gotten him through more than a few tough times, the knowledge that Marci thinks he can do it stopping Foggy from ever giving up. Even when they weren't talking, the little voice in his head that pushed him out of his comfort zone was always Marci's. She was always a challenge.
Without her belief, he would probably currently be unemployed and trying to convince her to let him live with her in exchange for cleaning and sexual favours.
Marci trusts him and he trusts her, which is more than he can say for almost everyone he knows. Even as friends with benefits, it's the least complicated relationship Foggy's had in a long time.
-00000-
Karen disappears for a week and then tries to knock down his door at three in the morning. Foggy has the presence of mind to remember to put on pants before he opens the door, but not enough to stop her from pushing passed him and into his apartment, demanding that he tell her if he knew about Matt. And the truth is Foggy never wanted to lie to her, always told Matt that he would tell her one day if he didn't, and he doesn't hold back now, he tells her everything. Including things Matt didn't tell her, if the way her eyes widen is any indication. She shouts at him, furious that he never told her and he says that he wishes he had, that he would have but Matt didn't want him to and Foggy had wanted so badly for Matt to do the right thing so that he stopped feeling like he was an idiot for thinking that Matt would, so he kept promising himself that he'd just give Matt one more day, one more chance for Matt to do the right thing.
He takes a breath to gather his wits and looks into Karen's red and slightly blurry face which is when he realises that at some point he had started crying. He'd be embarrassed, except that Karen has seen him at his worst; weeping over Elena Cardenas, drunk off his face and inconsolable.
And Karen is so hurt and angry and she snaps at him that his excuses aren't good enough, that if he trusted her, cared about her, he would have told her and Foggy knows where she's coming from, understands her pain and fury, had felt it himself when he had first found out about Daredevil. But he can't stop himself from biting back. It's in his nature. He can't back down from a challenge. "Oh, like you tell me everything!"
Karen goes deathly pale and then flushes a deeper, angrier red than before. "You're right." She says almost calmly, with a steel undercurrent that could shatter men far stronger than Foggy. "You're right, I've kept secrets from you. You want to hear them? Fisk had me kidnapped, before you put him away. One of his henchmen grabbed me and put me in a room with only a table and put a loaded gun between us. And I shot him. I killed him, in cold blood. He was threatening me, but he wasn't holding the gun and I took it and I shot him because he hurt me and he said he would hurt me again and I killed him. I wanted to kill him. There! Now you know!" And then she bursts into tears.
Foggy doesn't know how to react to that confession, doesn't even want to react right now, because it's going to take a lot of clear and logical thinking to reconcile Karen with someone who has murdered another person. He could easily see himself losing her case if her defence reseted on a manslaughter plea or justifiable self-defence. How long was the gun sitting between them? Would verbal threats be enough to get self-defence against an unarmed man? Would the fact that he bought a loaded weapon to a kidnapping be enough to convince a jury that there was an intent to kill, not just scare? And Foggy can already feel himself getting wrapped up in the case while Karen is crying uncontrollably in front of him, trying to make herself as small as possible and he cuts his thoughts off in their tracks, lurches forward and gathers Karen in his arms. Holds her tight as she cries, murmurs over and over that it's okay, it's going to be okay, he's so sorry for everything, he shouldn't have pushed, he shouldn't have kept secrets, he should have told her and Foggy realises he's started crying again, almost unnoticeable under Karen's distress.
When they stop crying Foggy feels exhausted, wrung out, and he looks at Karen's face, red and splotchy where it's not pale and drawn, eye's red-rimmed and he can see she's just as tired as he is. Just as ready to move on and put the past behind them. And then suddenly, Foggy doesn't know how or who started it - maybe it had been an accident or maybe one had lunged forward and the other hadn't moved or they'd both come together - but suddenly they're kissing, hard and wet and messy, salty lips and Karen's sweet gloss and a touch of desperation. He puts his hands on the back of her thighs and Karen moves instinctively, leaps up and Foggy holds her there, her legs wrapped around his waist as he walks them towards his bedroom. Karen gets one hand buried in his hair and yanks, hard, and Foggy pulls back to gasp from the pain. He tilts his head so he can look up into Karen's eyes, her hot breath on his face and he stares just long enough for Karen to find her voice. "We shouldn't do this."
And immediately, regrettably, Foggy knows she's right. They shouldn't do this; not now, probably not ever. Because if they try, it's always going to be associated with right now. Because they're clearly attracted to each other, but this, here, this kiss, it's based on pain and hurt and anger. A little bit of payback. And if they ever try anything again, it's always going to be laced with those same feelings. They'll always know that they started from fear and betrayal.
Still. It was really, really good while it lasted.
Instead, Foggy and Karen walk three blocks to find the nearest open restaurant and get quietly wasted on the most expensive beer available to them. Before, they would've gone to Josie's, but neither of them can stand to be there anymore. Instead it's upmarket beer and chili cheese tots, and it's not an old, beloved haunt but it's still good food and better alcohol. Karen orders a BLT and then halfway through decides she can't actually eat the whole thing, so Foggy finishes it for her even though he hates tomatoes. He doesn't have to eat like this anymore, he can afford to let some things go to waste and buy food he actually really likes instead of living of bags of chips and McDonalds, but old habits die hard.
They stumble back to Foggy's apartment after, using each other for support. It's getting close to 5am by the time they make it, and they both have to work in the morning. Foggy tells Karen to stay at his place so she'll at least get some sleep, and she takes the bed with no complaining. Foggy helps her lie down and take off her shoes and then goes to head to the couch for an uncomfortable night's sleep, but Karen reaches out lightning fast and far too accurate for someone as drunk as she is and drags him down onto the bed next to her. Foggy himself is too wasted to stand up again and so he lays there listening to Karen doze off and sigh contentedly as she snuggles up against him, still fully clothed and above the covers. Foggy thinks about getting up to at least put the two of them underneath his blankets, but almost simultaneously with the thought crossing his mind he rolls over, swings an arm over Karen and falls asleep instantly.
-00000-
So the thing is that Foggy had known he'd been offered the job with HB&C because he had a particular set of skills (and if he said that he hadn't repeated that ad nausium to a giggling Karen and an exasperated Marci in his best Liam Neeson impression then he'd be lying, and Marci would have the wasted minutes back in her life). Hogarth had explicitly said so, when she pitched him the position. And he'd taken the job, knowing that one day he would be defending–
Well, Matt.
He'd prepared for the inevitability, one day in the future.
He hadn't prepared for "right now" and Jessica Jones.
Foggy meets Jess as he's coming out of a meeting with Hogarth. He hears her at reception demanding to let in, and their receptionist isn't having a bar of it. Foggy makes his way over quickly. In light of recent events, the entire reception staff at HB&C have been given tasers and know how to use them on unruly drop-ins, and Foggy does not want to be the lawyer who has to defend the firm when they get sued. But when he gets there and asks if there's anything he can do to help, Jess only scowls at him before rolling her eyes and simply pushing passed. Foggy staggers a little from her unexpected strength. He looks to the receptionist for advice on how to proceed, but she only rolls her eyes and tells him not to worry about it.
He's back in his office and working on his next case when his door swings open without warning and Jess steps into his office. Foggy can't help but startle, and Jess scoffs. "Hogarth said you're the one who's going to be working with people with abilities." She says, and she doesn't look impressed when Foggy nods. "Fantastic." She continues, and that's definitely sarcastic and Foggy would fight her on it but she doesn't pause long enough for him to speak. "I killed someone. He was a murderous, rapist psychopath who could make people do whatever he wanted them to just by saying it, and no one has charged me with anything. But Hogarth says you need to be prepared if they do."
Jess is nothing like Matt. She doesn't hide anything from him. Sure, she's got secrets, huge gaps in her life story that he knows would be useful to know if anyone actually took her to court, but at least he knows where they are. She never lies to him, she just refuses to answer questions that she doesn't want to. And it's shockingly refreshing. She also doesn't hide her abilities, tells him all about how she uses them to complete her cases. Even after Foggy found out that Matt was Daredevil, Matt still tried to hide his abilities from him, to never mention them. And yeah, sometimes they freaked Foggy out a little, made him uncomfortable, the utter invasiveness of them. But he knows Matt doesn't mean them to be that way, that they're a part of him, and Foggy would've liked to have been a part of Matt's world too, even vicariously. But Matt still felt he had to be protected from them, from him, and it drove Foggy up the wall, the way Matt wouldn't talk to him. He'd just assumed from Foggy's heartbeat or whatever that he didn't want to talk about it, and hadn't even bothered to ask. After Daredevil they had decided to start their friendship up all over again, and Foggy had been prepared to move in baby steps as he became more comfortable in his new reality, but Matt had completely stalled them. Foggy hadn't wanted to talk about Daredevil, he'll admit it, but he had wanted Matt to tell him how he saw the world.
Jess doesn't act like Foggy needs to be protected from anything. She's utterly straight-forward, completely no nonsense, and if Foggy had his way they'd be taking half-hour breaks just so he could process parts of her story and guard himself to hear more, but Jess powers through it, and Foggy knows that if he stopped her, she's never start again.
Foggy feels for her. He doesn't feel sorry for her, that would be counterproductive at the absolute best, and most likely she'd clam up and never speak to him again. But he does feel sad, about everything that's happened to her, about everything that's still happening to her, because it isn't the kind of thing you just get over and he can see it in her eyes, the way she thinks she's bad for everyone around her, the way she tries to isolate herself. He saw it with Matt, too, but he was too close, too hurt by it happening that he didn't know how to stop it. He's not going to let the same thing happen to Jess.
It takes four weeks and six meetings for Foggy to convince Jess to come out for drinks with Karen and Claire, and even then it's only an offhanded mention that Claire will be there that gets her to agree. The three of them have been meeting up once a week ever since Karen found out about Matt, with the unspoken arrangement that they're a Daredevil support group. Although apparently Claire needs the chance to bitch about more than one superpowered person, and she really is a saint. Foggy has been itching to invite Marci along since the first gathering, but they do have a tendency to get drunk and talk about Daredevil and Marci is the smartest person Foggy knows - she'd put it together. So regrettably she has to stay on the out.
Jess brings Trish Walker along with her. Foggy had known from what Jess had told him that Trish was involved in her life, but he had received no warning that she would be coming along for drinks. Karen just about dies when she sees her walk through the door, chokes on her martini and is still trying to hack the liquid out of her lungs as they're introduced. Foggy definitely understands how she's feeling, but manages to keep his own reaction internal. He's used to meeting pretty girls by now - everyone he's friends with is like movie-star gorgeous, and he can't go embarrassing himself by inhaling alcohol every time he sees them. The fact that Trish Walker is an actual star is just icing on the cake. Claire doesn't give anything away with her polite smile, but Foggy thinks he saw her eyes widen just a little, like she is a tiny bit impressed. With whom, he isn't sure, but he really hopes it's him. Impressing Claire Temple would be something to write home about.
Jess only grunts in greeting and gives Claire the smallest sliver of a smile before collapsing into a seat and ordering a bottle of vodka. Trish was obviously taught some manners because she says hello and asks if she can buy anyone a drink before she takes her own seat. Foggy and Karen haven't gone back to Josie's since Matt forced them out of his life, can't go back to Josie's without feeling physical pain. And besides that, it's not a nice enough place to take Claire. Not that Foggy imagines Claire would mind in the slightest, but he would feel bad for making her go there. Plus, they both can afford a better quality of alcohol now, and they had mostly frequented Josie's in part because it was local and they knew everyone, but largely because of nostalgia. So it's a nice bar, now, with actual lighting you can see by and no neon sign out the front and drinks you can actually order off a menu, instead of just pointing at a bottle. Foggy loves it slightly less than he hates it, but Jess squirms in her seat, clearly uncomfortable with everything about it which is pretty funny so maybe the love-hate ratio is closer to even right now.
Trish doesn't seem put off by her friend's discomfort or Karen's embarrassed, red-faced wheezing or the way Claire and Jess keep sneaking glances at each other as if they desperately want to ask a question but are afraid of the answer. She just starts off on some shallow chatter and even if Jess only bought her along as a social blocker Foggy is grateful and joins in, asks her about work and tells her about his own job, carefully sidestepping around anything Jess-related. He recognises a kindred spirit, too used to filling in awkward social situations for a more stoic, distant best friend. Foggy had always loved it, chattering away with Matt at his side, always trying to get him to join in on a conversation. He had always felt warm and content when Matt hit it off with someone, when he laughed and smiled. He can be charming when he wants to be, but Matt's default setting is reserved and it hurts, it hurts to think about, the way he used to be, the way he has no need to be now, but it's nice to put his skills to use again.
It's nice that Trish still has a reason to, and Foggy hopes that he can stop her from ever having a reason to not.
-00000-
It's not as good as it had been, Foggy isn't trying to claim that. Setting up a firm with Matt, being lawyers together, living near each other and visiting on a whim, eating takeout and watching tv side-by-side, growing old together. It's all Foggy's ever wanted since they were thrown together by random chance and the gods of roommate assignments who messed up giving Matt a private room. And he misses it. He misses it so much, misses just knowing that he could call Matt. Misses their friendship. Misses Nelson & Murdock and everything it stood for; the close, personal touch and the clients who would stop him in the street to thank him again or buy him coffee. Misses going out with Matt and Karen to get tipsy and joke around, misses the way he and Matt used to be able to finish each other's sentences or know where the other would be or predict what they would do. How close they were, the feeling of really fitting with someone, and it didn't matter that Matt was way out of his league, that people would whisper behind their backs that Matt only stuck with him because of pity, or because he was blind and didn't know what Foggy looked like. Because they were all jealous idiots and Matt picked him, started up a firm with him and they were all wrong.
Of course it was all a lie in the end, but Foggy isn't going to let that take away from the good times, where Foggy only had to make Matt smile and everything was alright.
But in some ways it's even better: Marci and HB&C. Actually being able to buy things that aren't necessities. Having an apartment that can be kept at a regular temperature and doesn't have a carpet that is over 50% mysterious stains. Eating steak that he'd cooked for himself, just the way he likes it, without it being something a client gave him as a substitute for monetary payment. Getting tipsy with Marci in their free time and discussing cases, drinking the kind of expensive wine that she likes, and Foggy no longer has to feel bad that she's constantly spotting him for alcohol. Matt and Foggy had never become complacent, per say, but they had known each other so well - known where they each excelled and what gaps one could fill for the other - that they had fallen into roles at their firm. Marci would never allow it, pushes and pushes until Foggy tries new things, until he knows that he can do whatever he needs to and cover his own weaknesses.
And having the great, no-strings-attached sex that he'd felt slightly guilty and awkward about when Matt was around to smell it on him, or whatever Matt does. No one should have to smell that, not in their workplace. So he and Marci had cut back and Foggy had showered thoroughly afterwards but now he doesn't have to worry. And sometimes they even manage it in his apartment, now that Marci will deign to set a foot inside.
Karen and Claire. Jess and Trish. Friends. In a different way that he was with Matt - not as close, not as integral, but still happy and fun and good. People to look out for, people to have his back. People he knows he can rely on if something goes wrong. That he can meet up with for a casual drink and conversation, that will text him random observations and photos during the day. And he loves that he can spend time with them and forget about everything else, put all of his problems in the past and live in the now, or whatever life-affirming crap he used to see on a billboard from his old apartment.
There's no billboard blocking the view of a back alley in his new apartment. Just Hell's Kitchen in all its glory, and New York stretching out as far as he can see. His home, laid out in front of him, a reminder of why he does what he does, why he became a lawyer and moved back here. To help people.
Foggy doesn't have Matt. But he's learning to live without him.