What If #1! What if I had been in Haruhi's place for the Host Club? Let'd find out. . .
Welcome to the Host Club
"Stupid assholes. "I growled to myself,straightening out my baggy pants and shirt. I had just gotten into a fight with some rich boys over my outfit and how I wasn't upper class. So what if I'd been there on a music/art scholarship? ! God,kids are so rude. Anyway,I was trying to find a hiding place from the dudes I had been fighting with. I heard music and ran into the door labeled'Music Room#3'. A light blinded me and I saw six boys standing in the middle. "Hello. Is there something you need? "the blond I identified as Tamaki Suoh,asked. "Yeah,a place to hide. "I sighed,looking at my feet. "Okay,well,stay here for a while then. "he shrugged. "Thanks. "I smirked,sitting down. Suddenly,a pink rabbit was in my face. "Do ya' wanna hold Usa-chan? "the blond senior,Mitzukin aka Huni-senpai,asked. "Sure,"I chuckled,"Do you wanna play with Monroe and Effi? ". He tilted his head and I grabbed my two hand puppets from my bag. Monroe was an armless cat with no mouth and two big black and pink eyes. Effi was a pink and brown bunny with arms,a smile,and button eyes. He grinned and ran off with them,leaving Usa on my lap.
I looked around the room and my gaze stopped on Kyoya-senpai,a stiff guy with glasses. His back was straight as a board and his shoulders were set straight back. Meaning:He was so tense I could see the knots in his back. Sneaking up behind him,I placed both hands on his shoulders and squeezed gently. He just about hit the ceiling. "What are you doing? ! "he snapped. "You're tense. Let me massage you a bit. "I smiled. "No thank you. "he huffed. "Why? "I whined. "Because you're a guy. "he said. "So if I wasn't a guy,you'd let me? "I asked. "I'd be more likely to let you. "he nodded,fixing his glasses. Smirking,I took off the baggy over shirt I was wearing. Underneath was my black muscle shirt that showed off my 36 C's without actually showing any cleavage. Everyone,besides Huni and Mori,gawked. "B-b-but you! What! How? ! "Tamaki cried. "I dress like a dude because it's easier. Girls have standards here. In America,they were tolerant. "I huffed,taking my hair out of the braid it was in.
Cracking my knuckles,I cocked my head at Kyoya. "So,yes or no? "I blinked. "Oh,uh,I guess so. Sure. "he shrugged. "Sit down on the couch. "I commanded. He obeyed and I stood behind him, placing both hands on his shoulders. Removing his jacket,vest,and shirt,I rubbed his bare neck gently. Going down,I found a huge knot in his shoulder. Rubbing a bit rougher,I kneaded it with my thumbs. He sighed,relaxing as it disappeared. I kept going until almost all of them were gone. By the time I was done he had fallen asleep. "Odd. "I mumbled to myself. "You seem to be talented with massage. "Tamaki commented. "Yup,but that's not really what I'm here for though. "I chuckled. "Hm,I thought it would be. How'd you like to come back and talk with me when our club is open,princess. If you'd grace me with your presence. "he continued. "You have a club? I'd like to join! And were you hitting on me? "I rambled. "But you're a-" "Girl. This is a-" "Boys only club. "The twins from my homeroom,Hikaru and Kaoru,said together. "So if I was a boy I'd be able to join? "I asked,grinning. They nodded and I snapped my fingers,announcing"Idea! ".
Running into the room labeled 'Changing Room',I grabbed a random costume and put it over my clothes. I came back out and they gawked. Reaching out my hand,I grinned"I'm Kathryne. Call me Kat. ". Tamaki shook it and smiled,saying"You're accepted. Your massage skill will attract many guests I believe. ". Kyoya nodded as he got his shirt on again. "Like I said,that's not the biggest reason I was accepted by Ouran. "I explained. "What's the other reason? "Tamaki asked. "Glad you asked. "I smirked, reaching into my bag. Taking off the costume,I pulled out my violin case and grabbed my violin along with it's bow. I played Greensleeves and sang along softly. Soon I heard a piano playing along and saw that Tamaki was playing it. We played together in perfect harmony,getting applause when we were done.
The door creaked open and a boy clad in black with a puppet popped his head in. A dark aura surrounded him and Tamaki froze up. "Hello. "the boy said in an eerie voice,moving the puppet. "Hiya! You're cool! "I grinned,running up to him. He flinched and looked scared. "I'm Kat,who're you? "I asked,tilting my head. "N-Nekozawa. This is Beelzenef. "he said,still tensed. "He's the president of the Black Magic club. "Kyoya explained. "We have a Black Magic club? Huh,to think I could've joined when I was able,damn. Anyway,this is Monroe. "I shrugged,holding up my own puppet. "O-kay(insert anime drop here),you may join if you're worthy. "Nekozawa frowned. "Hm,is it dark like you? "I asked. "Yes. "he sneered. "I may not be able to then. Why is it dark? "I sighed. Out of nowhere,a woman appeared. "I can answer that. My master is extremely sensitive to light. That's why he must dress this way. Even the smallest flashlight blinds him. He can't go into the sun at all. It's a tragedy really. "she sighed,walking out when she was done. "You have heard my sad story and now you know why I must be kept shielded.
"Hm. . . Idea! "I yelled,making him jump. Going to my bag,I pulled out my cool sunglasses and my fedora. "Here. "I nodded,handing them to him. Then,pulling my large,black,sun blocking parasol from my back,I handed it to him. He looked at me as if I was insane and I raised an eyebrow. Sighing, he put on the things I handed him and I stole his shield. It amazed me that he looked like an older Tamaki. "Ah. "he nodded. "You can keep those,my brothers each gave me the same thing and said to give the extra set to a friend. "I smiled. Blushing,he took the things I had taken from him in his arms and left. "Um,Kat,you know who he is? "Tamaki asked,frightened. "Not really, but he's cool. "I grinned. "That's Umehito Nekozawa! I once stepped on Beelzenef and he cursed me! I went to take my test and it was like in a different language or something! "he cried. "You were in such a daze that you wandered into the advanced Latin class and took their test,you idiot. "Kyoya sighed. "Mommy! Why are you so mean? "Tamaki whimpered. "I am not your mommy! "Kyo snapped. "I know that,I'm the daddy. "Tama stated,rolling his eyes.
I laughed and he turned his stare to me. "I shall become your father figure! "he announced. "No thanks,I have two dads already,I don't need one more. "I stated bluntly. "You mean-" "Your dad is. . . ? "Hikaru and Kaoru said. "No! My mom got married after she divorce my father! "I snapped,tackling one of them. "I'll kill you. "I hissed,twisting his arm behind his back. "Ow,Hikaru! She's being mean! "Kaoru,the one I was manhandling,cried. Hikaru pulled me off and I glared. "Wah! Kath-chan is angry and now she won't join the club! "Huni cried,starting to tear up. I picked him up and wiped away his tears with Effi's ear. "I'm not goin' anywhere kid. "I murmured,holding him to my chest. "Kathryne! Put himdown! I forbid you from-"Tama began to rant,getting cut off when I threw Monroe at him. "It's almost time to open the club. "Kyo said,going toward the dressing room. I nodded and followed,smirking as they watched me. "Today's theme is natural. All you have to do is wear a boys uniform. "Tamaki told me. I nodded and took off my baggy pants,revealing my black underwear.
"I thought you dressed like a boy ! "they cried,blushing. "Yeah,I usually wear boxer shorts. But I just grabbed a random pair from my drawer today. "I shrugged,getting on the pants. Putting on the undershirt,vest,jacket,and tie,I looked just like a boy. "Since you're new,you'll be our errand runner. Like if we run out of an item. "Kyo said,smiling. I nodded and we finished dressing. They opened the club and instead of standing,I sat on the arm of Tamaki's chair. "It' comfy and just watch what it does to the ladies. "I explained. The girls came in an sure enough,they were all over my sexy seating choice. "This is Kat,princesses. He is a new edition to our club. "Tamaki smiled charmingly. Using what I had learned from my novels,I made myself blush and flipped my hair. "I'm sorry if I'm not worthy my princesses. I am but a peasent to you. Please,forgive me. "I said,bowing. They squealed in delight and soon I was getting requests from all over. Finally,I was given to a girl name Miyuki.
"I am glad to meet you Kat. "she giggled,sipping her tea. "Same with you princess. Your name, it means quiet snow,yes? "I asked. "Yes,your name is American correct? "she answered. I nodded and put some instant coffee from a packet in my cup. "What's that? "she asked as I poured hot water over it. "Instant coffee. We commoners drink it when we're in a hurry. Want to try some? "I smiled. "Sure,I'd love to! "she nodded,eager. "What kind? Hazelnut,carmel,mocha,marichino(cherry),cocoa,I have a bunch. "I said. "Cherry coffee,strange. I'll try carmel. "she stated,watching in awe as I made it. "It's delicious! Where did you buy it? "she said proudly. "The store. . . ? "I blinked,confused. "May I ask what your's is? "she asked. "Cherry. Try it. "I replied,giving her the cup. She took a sip,licked her lips,and grinned wider. I looked around as she drank some more coffee and spied the twins. "Hikaru,why are you being so rough? "Kaoru whimpered,blushing. "I'm sorry Kaoru,I didn't mean to be so rough here. "Hikaru answered,blushing as well while he created a yaoi fantasy for the girls they were serving. "All talk and no action! Stop flirty,be dirty! "I called. They glared at me while the girl cheered me on and swooned. "Oh yeah? You try creating a fantasy then! "Hikaru growled. "Thanks for asking. But I don't swing that way,I'd rather deal with lovely women like these ladies. "I said,flipping my hair again. "Please Kat,you're so femine,it would make our day. "their girls begged. "Okay. . . "I shrugged.
Going over to Hikaru,I let my arms settle over his shoulders. "Hey Hika. "I breathed. "Wh-what? "he stuttered,blushing. "We should have some time alone. Just me and you,Kaoru doesn't have to know. "I whispered,nipping his ear. "He'll find out. . . I know he will. "Hika mumbled,playing along quite well. "How about if I join in? "Kaoru asked,nuzzling my neck. "That sounds delightful. "I smiled,tilting Hikaru's head down. Leaning up a bit,I kissed him for five seconds. All of the girls squealed and I walked away,leaving the older twin stunned. "Well done Kat,we're having record sales thanks to you. "Kyoya chuckled,shaking my hand at the end of the day. "Sweet,but I didn't use any of my talents. "I said,confused. "Actually,you did. "he countered. "Huh? "I asked. "You used charm, improvision, and intelligence. "he smirked,leaving. Hikaru stared at me for a while,then left hand-in-hand with Kaoru. Shrugging,I packed away my baggy clothes,threw on a black tartan skirt,and left. On the way home I felt like I was being followed,but I'm always paranoid.
I got home,played with my cat Fenix,and fixed a hole in Monroe. I was stalling so I didn't have to do homework right away. "Katy! You have a friend here to see you! "my mom called. "Okay! One sec mama! "I answered,picking up Fenix and running downstairs. I nearly dropped the cat when I saw that it was Nekozawa. "Hello. "he smiled. "Greetings. "I nodded,waving with Monroe. Fenix jumped out of my grasp and went to Nekozawa. "I wanted to know if you wanted to come over to my house. If that's fine with your mother. "he chuckled,scratching the cat. "Of course it is! She knows the rules. But if she gets to irritating,just send her home. "my mom grinned,not caring as always. "Well,I'll go,just let me grab my bag. "I smirked,running back upstairs to grab my messenger bag/survival pack. "Don't be alarmed,she never leaves the house without it. "my mom commented. He nodded and we left. "The rules? "he asked as I got into the limo/hearse. "Yup. I can do whatever the hell I want as long as I'm safe. And no sleepovers unless I text her first. "I chuckled. He nodded and took off the sunglasses. His eyes were a dazzling blue in the dim light.
"You helped me alot today. "he said. "Really? Well that's good. "I smiled. He blushed and ran a hand through his bleach blond hair. "Yes. In the darkness,all I view is black and gray. But these help me see color. "he chuckled. "My brother is like you. Any light burns him. So I created an outfit to match his needs. I could do the same for you. "I offered. "You'd do that? he asked hopefully. "Anything for a cool dude like you. "I winked,Nekozawa grinned in a scary way that made me laugh. He laughed too and soon we were laughing hysterically. When we had finished being idiots,I stared at him. He was much more tense tham Kyo,despite Neko's slouching. Seeing me staring,he looked slightly frightened and tensed more. "I suggest you relax before the knots in your back and shoulders kill you. "I commented. He sighed,"Sorry,but I haven't talked to a girl before. No girl besides my mother will come near me. It's because I'm so dark and morbid. ". I smiled and he smiled back. "Do you mind if I use you for my homework assignment? "I asked. "What is it? "he asked. "I have to massage a person using a simple technique. I'm not allowed to guinea pig my family. "I explained.
"Okay. . . "he sighed. The car stopped and he put the sunglasses back on. I looked at the manor before us and smiled. It was a beautiful,gothic,old-timey place. Without warning Nekozawa,I ran into the maze. "Kat! "I heard him call,but giggled and chose to ignore it. After a few minutes of getting lost,I headed back. I heard a ghostly chuckle and rolled my eyes. "No use sneaking up on me senpai,if you even try to scare me I'm giving Beelzenef a toilet bath. "I called. No reply,only another ghostly laugh. I thought for a second and then grinned. I began to fake cry and sat next to a bush. He vaulted over it and landed next to me. "I'm sorry Kat. "he apologized. Smirking,I stood up and he gawked. "Don't worry man,I'm way scarier than you. "I reassured,making him laugh. "You could never be as terrifying. "he snorted. "You'd think that,wouldn't you? "I asked. "I know that you aren't frightening at all. "he chuckled. Sighing,I went over to the Koi pond near us and dunked my hair in it. "Watch and learn kid. But if I win,I get to play with Beelzenef. "I whispered,leading the way out. He followed and soon we were out. Flipping my hair in front of my face,I walked up behind his servants and placed a hand on both of their arms. They turned around and I hissed"You will die very soon. ". They screamed and ran away. Nekozawa laughed and clapped like a child. I flipped my hair back the way it was and cocked an eyebrow. "Oh,here. But be careful. "he sighed,giving me the puppet.
I smiled the ran inside the manor at top speed. I could hear him persuing me and ducked inside a random room. Despite the whole rest of the house being dark,this room was very bright. In the middle of the canopy bed was a little blond girl playing with dolls. "Oh,hello. "I said. She looked up and flashed me a blinding smile. "Hi,I'm Chirimi. "she giggled. "i'm Kat,a friend of you're big brother. "I nodded. "You've seen my prince! "she squealed excitedly. "Y-yeah? "I said,freaked out. "What does he look like? "she asked. "You haven't seen him? "I responded. "No. He lives in the dark and I am afraid of the dark. He also carries around a scary cat thing. "she sighed sadly. "Hm,Idea! "I yelled. She grinned and clapped her hands. "I know how to make you not afraid of anything. "I nodded surely. "Really? You can do that? "she asked hopefully. "Mhm,and as for the the cat thing. . . "I held up Beelzennef. She gawked and pet him. "Can I hold him? "she asked. I shrugged and gave her the puppet. "Let's play,I have my own puppet. "I smiled,taking out Monroe and Effi. She stared at Effie wihh a big grin. "Can I play with her? "she asked hopefully. "Sure,how about if I ask your brother to come play? "I smiled. She cheered and nodded vigorously.
I went into the hall and saw Nekozawa looking for me. "Over here! "I called,waving. He ran over and shook his head. "I've been looking all over for you. "he growled. "You've never met your sister? "I asked. "I observe her from afar. Whenever I try to go near her,she gets frightened and flees. "he sighed. "So you love your sister? "I asked. He nodded and I grabbd his hand. His face tinted as I led him into Chirimi's room. Her face lit up when she saw him and he smiled. "Hello Chirimi. "he said. "Onii-chan! "she laughed,tackling him. He laughed and hugged her back. Smirking,I took a pic with my phone. "This lady said you would play with us. "Chiri giggled. Nekozawa gave me an odd look that kinda lingered. "Well that's a fine idea. Let's play. "he smirked. We played for a while until Chirimi fell asleep. "Follow me. "Neko said,leading me out of the room after he had tucked his sister in. I followed him to a room in the attic. It was dark and only had a few candelabras lit. "Here. "I said,pulling the cord in the middle of the room. A dim light glowed and I looked around. MSI,My Chemical Romance,Muse, Marilyn Manson,and,for reasons unknown,Kittens. It looked exactly like my room,except bigger.
In the corner was a huge coffin shaped bed. "Sweet. . . "I grinned. He smiled shyly and his eyes sparkled. I tried to climb in and he panicked,pulling me out. I tried three more times before he closed the lid. "How about that homework? "he asked,distracting me. "Oh yeah! "I laughed, remembering. "So what do I do? "he asked. "Take off your shirt and lay down on top of the coffin. "I commanded,getting my massage oil. "Lilac,peppermint,or tea? "I asked. "Huh? Tea I guess. "he shrugged,obeying my commands. Rubbing some oil on my hands and rubbed the bare flesh. He shuddered and I chuckled, working on a knot in his neck. It popped and he gasped quietly. I kept going until I reached the small of his back that was ended by his pants. Putting a bit of pressure,I realigned his spine a little. By the time I was done he had fallen asleep. "Why does that always happen? "I mumbled to myself. "Wake up before I open the blinds. "I hissed. Nekozawa jumped up and sighed,getting his shirt on. I checked the time and ran out,yelling"I've really gotta get going! "over my shoulder. I ran down the sidewalk and got pulled into a car. "About time. "my buddy Rei giggled. "I was at Nekozawa's. "I stated.
She nodded and,without warning,pushed me out of the car. Luckily I used the tuck and roll reflex and landed in my front yard. "Did you have fun? "my mom asked when I walked in the door. "Yup,you'd have no idea. "I nodded,going to my room for bed.
There's the first chappie! Don't worry,it'll get better,yhis is just an icebreaker/test chapter. So keep reading and look out for chapter 2! Please R&R!