A/N: Heyy everyone, i know it's been awhile, and this is short and a one-shot, but i wrote it at like 12 in the morning and wanted to share it...

DISCLAIMER- I don't own harry and i never will... i've gotten over it... mostly.

~IMPORTANT~

This is not Harry as we know him, it was written for a story that i MAY still do, but this isnt the right perosnality for the carachter in it... i edited it to fit a twisted version of Harry Potter... this is an angsty version of him, and he has been a vampire for like 4 thousand years... he sees people's deaths so he's a little messed up, somewhat depressing and semi-suicide thoughts... Harry is yelling at everyone's favorite potion's master in this probably at grimmauld place... at least that's how i pictured it.

WELCOME TO MY LIVING HELL

I was 15 When I was changed, just your average Hogwarts student… only 15 when I was bitten. My world was turned on it's head. I had new amazing powers, ad so did my best friend, my girlfriend, and my friend's girlfriend whom I'd met mere hours before.

When I awoke, I was told of my immortality, my power, my destiny… a curse. Do you know what it's like to have the fate of the world hanging on your next decision?.. I do. I found out what it was like when I was only 15. In the instant that damned vampire bit me, my life changed forever… and I didn't like where it was going.

Have you ever had to make a choice? A hard choice, like one that could result in death… but not your death! Oh, no never your death, you're not allowed to die. Then where would all of the worlds and dimensions that needed you, that depended on you be, well they'd all go to hell wouldn't they?

'Cus no one can care for themselves. Yeah, I think I know what you're gonna say, Snape. You think that you can take care of yourself perfectly well thank you very much, well you're wrong.

I've had to deal with more knowledge, more suffering in my life than you can ever imagine. You think playing spy for a psycho is bad well I see death… yeah you heard right, I know when anyone one person is going to die, instinctively. I've watched too many torture sessions to name, thousands, millions… They are happening all the time, all I have to do is let my mind wander and I will see another gruesome scene.

In a different dimension altogether there is a father, really an imposter, torturing a young mother… right in front of her 6 year old child. The girl watches with wide, frightened eyes as her 'father' kills her mother before her eyes, before turning on the girl herself… The last memory the child will have is of the man she thought was her daddy killing her slowly and painfully.

I have watched so much suffering that I don't bat an eye at any of it anymore, it runs together. The first year of it, it nearly drove me insane… sometimes I wish it had. But, I've hardened, I've dealt with it day in and day out for 4 thousand years.

It pains me to admit how heartless I've really become, that I can watch that kind of suffering and not have any emotion for the little child that is tortured in every scene that passes through my mind… that I can watch people being murdered before my eyes and not be able to bring myself to care anymore.

How sick of life would you be is that is ALL you EVER saw?

And you think you're life's bad…

WELCOME TO MY LIVING HELL!!

A/N: please tell me what you think... good, bad, strange... i dont care. i will not be continuing this in this format... but i may use part of this angsty rant for the carachter it was origionally written for... if i ever get that done.

just wanted to say that i havent forgotten about this site, and that i'm still writing, and i HAVENT given up on ACWR just give me time im working on other things (like not failing sophomore year)

LOVE AND HUGS

~TheMainThingIsNotToPanic