I haven't written in over a year and even then I couldn't finish a story to save my life. I figured I'd give it one last try before I put away the pen for good. (metaphorically speaking of course)
"Sooooo how do you fall out of love with someone?"
"Spencer you know I hate when you ask me questions like that! I've never been in love so I have no reason to fall out of it!" It was probably one of the most true things I have ever said to the girl. Me and love? That's like warm ice water and that sounds absolutely ridiculous. If anyone should know exactly how ridiculous it should be Spencer.
"I know." She lays down next to me and I can't help but smile at the look on her face. The second she looks at me I instantly wipe it off. She can't know that I think she's absolutely crazy. By crazy I mean adorable but that will stay between me, myself and I. "I just figured I'd talk to you about it. You always know what to do! I would be lost without you." Her eyes immediately avert to my bed spread and once again a smile braces me face. It's good to know I'm good for something you know besides for, well nothing.
"Is this about Aiden?" She nods. "I thought you guys were getting along great. He never shuts up about you and you never stop talking about him. Aiden this and Aiden that." It's true. I'm glad they both have someone but they don't need to tell me everything that goes on. They're so cute it's almost disgusting. Once I had to leave because I was positive my lunch was going to come back up. It would have been a waste to say the least.
"I thought we were too, but then yesterday happened." Her eyes are everywhere but at me. What happened yesterday? Did he show her how many hot-dogs he can eat in five minutes? I must admit it is quite disturbing. I know that isn't the case though. She's not judgmental and if that was what happened she would have came here right away and we'd be laughing about it.
Do I say something? Or am I suppose to wait for her to tell me what happened? I don't want her to think I'm prying but at the same time I don't want her to think I don't care. Why are girls so difficult? It's so hard to tell what they want. Hell, they don't even know what they want! How the hell am I suppose to know what they want? I'm waiting for her to say something. She will, because she has to. Doesn't she? Isn't there a rule that if you bring something up that you have to go through with saying it? Well if there isn't it's obvious there should be. As a matter of fact I'm putting it into place right now.
"Spencer, just tell me! This guessing or waiting thing is going to slowly suck my soul out of me. It's like 'I know something you don't know'. Except it's literally 'I know something you don't know'." I hear her the sigh and finally she makes eye contact with me. I'm really starting to question if I want to know but that's dumb because I know I really want to know. Any minute now. Maybe an hour. At this rate it might be a day or two. "Just spit it out! For the love of Jesus." She gives me a look and I know she's not happy with my word choice. Who knew Jesus was such a touchy subject? "For the love of I don't know just tell me."
"Okay!" This better be good. I swear if it's an over-hyped thing I will metaphorically slap her. I'm not really one for abuse so that'll have to do. Maybe I should go make some popcorn, but if it's short then I'll feel like it's a waste. "Ash!" Right I'm suppose to be listening, I knew that.
"Yes, sorry. You were just taking so long. You have got my attention now, I promise." Maybe I should go to a movie tonight. All this popcorn talk makes me want to see a movie. She's giving me a look. I should really work on the attention thing. "Sorry. I apologize. Please continue." And again with the sighing!
"I was over at his house yesterday night..." maybe this will be really weird to listen to. "and his parents weren't home." Oh God. "So we were on the couch watching a movie..." Ruined my movie night. " and his hand was conveniently on my thigh. I didn't really know what to do so I just smiled. The next thing I know I'm on my back my shirt half unbuttoned along with my jeans..." Waaaaay too much information. " but it didn't feel right. I didn't want it. I looked at him and it was like something clicked. Don't get me wrong! I completely love him I just don't want the sex aspect of it. Maybe I don't love him as much as I think or maybe it's completely platonic."
"Spencer you are blowing this way out of proportion. Maybe you just aren't ready for sex. You can love someone and not want to have sex with them." At least I think. I wouldn't really know. I've never been in love but I've had sex a lot. I don't want to tell her that though. The last thing I need is a crying Aiden. Seriously, he's such a girl. At the same time I don't want to tell Spencer the wrong thing. Why do people come to me for advice? Does no-one know I'm possibly the worst person for this stuff? If you want to know about positions and techniques that's fine. Well that's directed more for Aiden. I would have no idea what to tell Spencer if she asked. The best advice I could give about a guy is don't do it, girls are better. Spencer is not asking that though. She wants to know why she doesn't want her boyfriend that she is in love with. The only advice I can give is she's not ready. What if I'm wrong? What if she just doesn't love him?
"I'm pretty sure you have to be in love to fall out of love with them. I don't know much about the subject but I'm pretty sure it's a requirement." Maybe she was in love with him. Maybe I'm insulting her by insinuating that she wasn't.
I have really got to get some new, less dramatic, friends.
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Spencer is amazing beautiful. Not in the sense that I'm perving over her but more so that anyone with eyes can tell she is attractive. Her blonde hair and blue eyes makes everyone envious but it goes beyond physical appearance. She has got to be the sweetest girl in the world.
When she started to date Aiden I must admit that I was quite shocked. Aiden is a total douche who is all looks no personality. Hearing the guy talk is a treat in it's own. At first he said approximately three words to Spencer and within that week they were dating. Honestly, I have no idea how a guy like Aiden got a girl like Spencer.
Now if Aiden got a girl like Madison then the world would make a bit more sense. Madison only cares about what's on the outside. If Aiden never said a word and just stood there and looked pretty I'm sure it'd be a lasting relationship. The two of them are compatible. Spencer and Aiden, however, I never saw the compatibility. I'm not Cosmo but I like to think I have some common sense. Telling Spencer that her boyfriend is complete douche bag isn't on my list of things to do however. If she thinks their meant to be and their horoscopes say so then who am I to argue? Simply put I'll let her make her own decisions. Maybe I'll slide in a few hints if she ever brings up the falling out of love question. Obviously she wouldn't ask for my opinion if she didn't want it. Or maybe she asked for it because she wanted me to agree with her. Seriously, it's just one confusing moment after another. It could go either way and that's why I spend my time by myself. It means I don't have to guess what people want.
As I said, I need new friends. Preferably ones who talk little and don't want to sleep with me. So people like Aiden are out of the picture. It'd also be nice if they weren't stuck up bitches so that pretty much crosses out every girl at King except for Spencer. Maybe the new friends things isn't such a good idea. Also, I may have over-exaggerated on the friends part of it. Friend seems more accurate. Why is high school so hard? Why are relationships with people so hard? People should really start to learn to be straightforward. Of course by doing that it makes me seem like a hypocrite because I'm the least straightforward person in the world. Better yet, everyone should be straightforward except for me! Life would be so much easier if that were the case.