AN: I don't own Castle.

Okay so this is my first try at a Castle Fanfic since I only just got the DVD box set for Christmas. I've only watched the whole first season and half of the second one as of yet though. I don't know how great this Fanfic is but I don't mind it myself.

This is set in 2005 and shows Kate's guilt after the death of Johanna Beckett, her mother. Alexis is eleven. This is AU.

Hope you enjoy!

Cold. That was all that Katherine Beckett could feel. It courses throughout her veins and made it's way through her blood. Katherine's hands were almost frozen solid to the metal bar atop the railings on the bridge. Her big brown eyes gaze into the water. It was black and thick. Maybe that had something to do with the rain that was falling from the dark clouds above Kate. The drops spluttered against her shoulders and slowly soaked through the material of her coat. Usually she would hurry inside and get out of the rain in fear of catching a cold but today that didn't matter, nothing mattered.

The young woman began leaning even closer towards the water. She had to finish this; she couldn't live like this any longer. As she leans closer and closer towards the current she gets even more of an intimate view of what was to come. Tears begin to stream down her face; they leave a glistening trail on her pale sunken cheeks. They slowly drip down from her chin and splutter against the railings. Her mother was gone; she needed to be there with her. Kate couldn't protect her in reality so she must be able to at least stay by her in the after life. It was all her fault and she had to pay.

Three, Two. On one she would end it; it would be time. She breathes softly, her final breath. The end.

"O…"

Her whisper is cut off by a high voice.

"Are you looking for the fishies?"

Katherine scans her eyes over the young girl standing before her. She had wide questioning blue eyes and long orange hair held up in a ponytail. She smiles over at the detective and points down at the water.

"My daddy and I have seen fishies in here before, they are really small though so you need good eyes to see them." The young girls high voice continues.

Beckett just stares. Why at this moment? It was almost over and something just had to prolong the hurt. She would usually have scream and shooed the young girl away but today, at that very moment, on the freezing cold bridge, she felt different. She felt like this little girl mattered.

"I haven't seen any fishies." Her tone was soft but that didn't hide the touch of bitterness that was always there.

"Well maybe you just need to look a bit harder." The girl was persistent, Kate would give that to her.

She turns and looks at the small child searching for the perfect response. Not to harsh, not to fake, but real.

"ALEXIS!"

Kate quickly glances around and sees a man walking along the bridge. He was dressed in a trench coat with a scarf hanging unevenly over this neck. An umbrella was held above his head stopping the raindrops from sprinkling against his soft brown hair. He looks up at her and rolls his eyes before running towards them.

"Alexis, there you are cheeky." He lunges towards the girl and wraps his arms around her small coat clad body. "Don't go running off and bothering strangers. Sorry Ms, excuse my daughter." He apologises with a smile.

Her eyes light up as something clicks in her mind. She had seen this man before, on the back cover of the paperbacks that lined the bookshelf beside her bed. He was Richard Castle. He was the reason that she hadn't done what she was going to do today earlier. He was her inspiration. She gulps and steps back almost loosing her footing and finally doing what she had intended.

"That's okay, she was a pleasure." Kate replies politely as she smiles a slight smile at the man.

Richard smiles at Alexis. "Don't go bothering strangers." He repeats as he looks down at her.

Alexis nods "Yes daddy, she was just leaning over and I thought that I should tell her about the fishies."

"Next time I think it's better to just leave others alone, she could probably find the fishies if she looked hard enough."

Castle turns back to Kate. Her eyes were cast down at her toes and he could still see the tears glistening against her cheeks. If he understood even the slightest thing about the human psyche he would know that she wasn't looking at the fishes. She wanted to do something a lot more dire.

He knew that this woman was nothing to do with him, at all, but he couldn't let anything bad happen to her. He turns towards her and smiles a lopsided grin.

"Hi I'm Richard"

Short and simple, which was just what he needed. Beckett pulls away and nods. Her suspicions must have been correct.

"I'm Kate"

Her voice was quiet and distant. She wasn't even sure why the man was telling her his name but she decided to respond despite that.

Castle tilts his head to the side and squints his eyes slightly. "Well Kate, I know it's none of my business, but were you really looking at the fish?"

"No."

One word, one harsh response. Castle knew it and he knew what she was going to do. He still had one question though – why? Such a beautiful, harsh spoken woman left to one final resort. She was going to jump.

Alexis looks up at Kate, her toothy grin was still obvious between her lips. "If you weren't looking at the fishies what were you looking at?"

Katherine shakes her head. What was she to say? She couldn't tell the truth and even if she did she would have to explain even more. She turns ready to open her mouth and make up a lie when Castle steps in.

"I think she was just looking at the water Alexis."

He looks up at Kate and nods, as though he was saying, 'Your secret's safe with me'.

Kate smiles back at him. The warm glow in his dark brown eyes seems to help dry the raindrops that were dampening her coat. She licks her lips to help warm them up and nods at Castle.

"Thanks."

The author just smiles and fixes his scarf before tightening his arm around his daughter. Just as he was beginning to walk away he notices Kate leaning over the railings again. He couldn't leave her here to do anything stupid, especially after she had been so nice to his daughter, and no one deserved an ending like that.

"Hey Kate would you like to come get a coffee with us? I know that Alexis would like that."

Kate shrugs "I don't want to intrude…" she says trailing off.

Alexis looks at her with a smile reminiscent of that of her father. "I want you to come Miss." Laughs the little girl.

"Well okay as long as that is okay with the both of you."

The two nod and Kate steps away from the railings. She walks over to Richard and Alexis' sides and the three begin walking off the bridge.

X-X-X-X

Richard Castle knew that even though Kate Beckett would never, ever admit it he had been the one to save her life, the one to break her fall and the reason that she was going to sip a vanilla latte beside him. He had saved her.

AN: So how was it? I hope you liked it. I have a whole lot of ideas of Castle fics to write so keep your eyes peeled if you are interested.

Please review, I need to know what you think of my Castle writing!