Draco stared aimlessly at the judge who had just sentenced his father to death for crimes committed during the last war. He would get the dementors kiss in a few hours. Draco wanted to cry, really cry .. It was not like him .. He wanted to just run away, take his damned family with him and just run far away from everyone and everything of importance. He got up and walked out of the courtroom arm in arm with his mother. She threw a last pleading glance at the judge before her eyes again found her husband. Lucius stared at his wife and whispered a silent "I love you" before he turned around and walked off. He knew he would not see them again, ever. He turned one last time and looked at his son. He had grown a lot in mind the last few years. "I'm proud of you Draco" the 22-year old man nodded quietly to him and followed his mother out through the large oak doors.

Draco turned to his crying mother as soon as they came out of the courtroom, he took her hand and pulled her a little closer.
"Shh .. mother" he said consolingly "it's not goodbye forever, you know"
Narcissa turned to her son and hugged him. He was that she had left, a small memorial of her husband.
Draco looked very like him. She would never see him again. There was so much she wanted to say.
"I know, dear," she said, and went with him down the small street. They walked fast to avoid getting attention from people. No one liked them, no one had ever liked them. They walked up and down streets, taking shortcuts to avoid the usual looks from people across the street.

They arrived at Malfoy Manor 45 minutes later.
Just in time, the clock struck 3 pm. Narcissa stared longingly at the door, hoping that Lucius would come smiling through it every moment. But he did not. Of course he did not. He was dead now. Everything was over. Atleast he wasnt in pain anymore.. His torture had ended. But what about her and Draco? Their pain was still there, and it would remain there for awhile. They had to stand together, as always. She sat down on the soft couch in the living room and sighed.
"I .. Draco .. Leave me alone a little while," she stared at the floor.
"Yes mother" Draco turned around in the doorway and went upstairs.
He grabbed a quill and a piece of parchment. He wrote

"Potter, I know I havent written in a while.
My father got the kiss today, Im feeling alone again. I just dont know what to do with myself anymore. Is it worth the fight?"

He folded the letter and stuck it under his bed. He never sent anyone of these letters. It just calmed him down enough to make him think reasonable about things. He wanted to disappear for awhile. Take a break, see the highlands of Scotland or something. What a stupid idea.. He needed space. he needed a place to be alone. People were getting him mad. Everyone always asked him if he was okay. He wasnt, but managed to pull off the same lie every time. "I'm fine".
No one had ever talked to him after his father was sent to Azkaban. Not even his friends. Pansy had ran off and married Blaise.. The others didnt care, he didnt really care either. He thought he just wanted someone to talk to about how he really felt. He didnt know who though. So he just ended up writing meaningless letters.
He didnt even know why or how he had come up with writing Potter letters. It was a way of escaping his own mind. Not that Potter ever would get his hands on them. He couldn't even imagine the outcome if that should happen.

He got up from the bed and walked over to the closet. He pulled out shirts, pants and sweaters. He had to get away. Away from it all. Away from all the issues, forbidden feelings and other problems. He felt bad about leaving his mother behind. He had to wait, he couldn't go now. He threw all his clothes back into the closet and sat down on his bed again. He ran a hand through his long blonde hair and sighed. One single tear left his eye as he looked at the picture of him sitting on a broomstick with his fathers hands around his shoulders. Both were smiling towards his mother who had taken the picture. He put his head in his hands and sighed again. He really wished his fathers faith had turned out differently. The world was and would always be unfair.
This world didn't accept people easily, especially not people with a past. Like his father. He had been looked down on for years after the war. His family chose the wrong side and had to pay the price. No matter how much they tried to change, No matter how nice they treated people. The past would always haunt them until the end of time. He looked down on the faded dark mark on his arm.

He didnt get the point anyways, he just wanted to be left alone. He couldnt bare reading more news about his family's betrayal against the wizarding world. He didnt have a choice. Obey or get killed. That's what it was all about back then. Either you obey or you die..
He fell backward on his bed and closed his eyes.
Please brain, let me sleep, let me have one night without nightmares.. the nightmares were killing him from the inside. He was scared of meeting someone who might recognize him. But most of all he was afraid of meeting Potter. Along with the Weasles. He hoped Potter had forgotten everything. He knew deep inside that that was not the case, but all he could do was to hope. He had a slight touch of hope left in him. The thought of that little home was what kept him from going insane. The thought of a prefect life.

Draco drifted off to sleep, he didnt get much rest from it. But he did get one single night without nightmres.