Be A Good Girl, Kanaya

One

Kanaya Maryam welcomed the nostalgia that came with being back in Meteor Hills, her hometown. She had only been gone a month and a half but it had seemed like an eternity. She suddenly felt happy and yet sad all at once as she accepted the familiarity of her surroundings. Meteor Hills was a small town with a population of roughly six hundred, and a good three hundred of them attended her high school. It was the sort of town that no one wanted to stay in it. It had one motel at the very edge of town, one movie theater that played only one film for nearly a month straight, a bakery, a church, a grocery store, and a diner. There were homes and people and neighbors and nothing ever changed.

Except Kanaya. Kanaya had changed significantly in the last month and a half. She wasn't 'sick' anymore. She was 'cured' now. She felt better about herself, or at least she thought she did. Her mother would definitely love her now, she was at least sure of that. She wished that her mother hadn't had to find out that way, to see her lips pressed against her childhood friend's own lips. She wished her mother hadn't screamed like she were being murdered. Kanaya wished she hadn't convinced Vriska's mother to send her to boarding school so that Kanaya would never see her again. She wished that her mother would just stop-

Be a good girl, Kanaya, she told herself. It was her calming mantra. Her advisors had told her, and the rest of her group, to adapt a phrase that they could think to themselves to calm themselves down and push negative and homosexual thoughts away. Kanaya had chosen her's with great ease. It was something said to her every day for as long as she could remember. Her mother chanted it like a prayer; conveniently enough, as she was the minister of the only Christian church in town. When she heard it, she always could just tune everything out and stop caring, and that was ideal when choosing her phrase.

Kanaya payed the bus fare and thanked the driver for driving this far. She hopped off the bus and carried her bags to the bench. Setting her luggage next to her, she took a seat on the bench and watched the world she knew inside of Meteor Hills. She wasn't too far from her own home, in the apartment above the church, but she wanted to wait for awhile. Her mother said she would pick her up, so she decided that it would be best to wait from her.

Not much had changed in the small Midwest town. Those who passed her by gave her a shocked look at first, then greeted her with a warm smile. Everyone looked the same. Some people's hair was shorter, some dyed theirs. Nothing drastic, though. And still, they regarded Kanaya with apprehension. What had her mother told them? Where did she tell them her daughter had gone for so long? Surely it couldn't be the truth; Kanaya Maryam had been sent to Straight Camp.

She looked at her watch and it was already an hour past when her mother said she would come and get her. She scoffed and gathered her luggage and began walking. She walked two blocks over and four blocks up to the small little book store. Kanaya had taken many books with her when she'd been sent away - all of the books on her shelf that she'd never read - and had finished them all. She would be in desperate need for literature when she finally reunited with her mother. She always had found solace within a written world.

She talked the small aisles and examined each row with a careful eye. She eventually spotted a saucy yet poorly written vampire romance novel. She was careful to make sure that the cover art wasn't revealing, lest her mother confiscate it from her. She placed it on the counter, only to meet eyes with a pair of beautiful brown eyes. They glimmered in the dim light and she thought she could see flecks of lavender in the eyes. The wondrous eyes belonged to an old classmate, Kanaya realized. Behind the counter sat a sadistic and sarcastic young woman by the name of Rose Lalonde. Her blond hair was cut short and hung closely to her cheeks and her bangs were held away from her eyes with a headband. Her soft lips were painted with black lipstick and her breasts looked perky and-

Be a good girl, Kanaya, she told herself and tried to remember everything she'd been taught. She kept her eyes on the other girl's eyes and she breathed slowly. She calmly detached all thoughts of attractiveness and focused on something she didn't like about the girl; which was her foul attitude.

"Kanaya Maryam," said Rose with a careful tongue. She was smirking, which confused Kanaya. "Still the same as ever, I see."

"Well, yes," said Kanaya shyly. "I've only been gone a month and a half."

Lalonde raised an eye brow and lifted one corner of her mouth into an even more sly smirk. "And just where did you go again?"

"I... I was at, uh," Kanaya swallowed hard. She had no idea what lies her mother had told. She couldn't say something and mess it all up. As much as she didn't want to admit it to herself, she didn't want anyone to know her whereabouts any more than her mother did. She was ashamed of herself. They told her she should be. Her mother told her she should be.

"Writing camp, wasn't it?" She replied coyly, and then followed her words with a wink. Kanaya gulped. "Look, I know the truth. You don't have to bullshit me."

"I'm not bullshitting you. May I please just purchase this novel and be on my way?" She tried to look away but she caught the lavender-flecked eyes once more. She couldn't help but smile softly to herself.

"You are. You spent your summer at a Straight Camp," Rose said nonchalantly. Kanaya opened her mouth to deny it but no words came out. She was tongue tied and confused. Rose could see the confusion on the taller girl's face and it made her laugh slightly. "Vriska told John Egbert, and he told me. Things travel quickly in small towns."

"I... Please don't say anything-"

"Calm down, Maryam. I'm not here to spread rumors. I just want the truth; this whole getting cured is utter bullshit, am I right? You can't help who you love."

"It's not bullshit. Homosexuality is a disease and I have been cured," Kanaya said with as much diction she could manage. It was something repeated so many times in the last few weeks of her life. It was ingrained in her mind. And she believed. Right? She glanced down at the novel in her hand. That protagonist couldn't help but love a vampire, even if it were wrong in God's eyes. Why would that be any different for two girls?

Be a good girl, Kanaya.

"So, I'm diseased?"

Kanaya's eyes widened. Rose was a lesbian? How had she never known? They hadn't truly ran in the same circles, and their friend's really ever interlinked. As far as she concerned, Rose was a total stranger. She took a deep breath, kept her eyes up, and focused on Lalonde's terrible attitude. She felt her mind clear nearly instantly.

"Yes," she said sadly. "Now, please let me pay for this book so I can leave."

Rose rolled her eyes and took the book from Kanaya's hands. Rose's fingers were soft and warm and Kanaya had difficulty pulling her attention away from them. She swallowed and paid Rose the allotted amount, handing her the money in a way that made sure that their hands did not touch. She took the book and clutched it to her chest. She tightened her grip on her luggage and made for the door. She could only ignore Rose's last words as she left for her own home.

"I'll get you to admit that it's bullshit, Kanaya. Believe me; I will."