Why did it hurt so much? She didn't know. The room that she stood in felt cold. Was she cold?
Her sharp, green eyes focused on the door. There was an escape out of this, but she couldn't go. She didn't want to go. She waited. She waited for him, but he never came...
Spike was wondering where Buffy was. His usual night out was to watch her every move through her bedroom window, but she wasn't there to be watched.
Depressed as ever, Spike walked back to his place. His steps were slow, but his heart was beating slower. Yes, he had a heart. He never really realised this until he fell in love with the Slayer. Surely, he should of known this sooner, because the Slayer was all Spike could see, but, no, not until now did Spike discover that he had a heart and a soul that could love.
"I can feel someone out there" Dawn whispered to Buffy.
"Who?" Buffy asked while she washed some dishes.
"I'm not sure. I can just feel someone watching, but they're not watching me. It's you they're watching" Dawn replied and started to shudder, "I'm just imagining things again".
Buffy took Dawn's reply quite seriously and started to feel insecure.
"Dawn, go to bed, okay? I'll finish off down here. You've got school tomorrow, so go on" Buffy ordered and Dawn followed them and walked gradually up the stairs.
As she reached the top one, Dawn turned to Buffy.
"You know, Buffy. Everyday you sound more and more like mom. I love you and I know that mom's proud".
Buffy could feel tears emerging, but she held them back and gulped them down as she watched her sister close her bedroom door.
It was starting to hit Buffy too. She could feel someone watching her, but who was it? Was she just imagining things like Dawn or was Dawn right?
Buffy opened the downstairs curtains and looked out, but she could see nothing, but she felt someone watching her every move very strongly.
It was, obviously, Spike. He had come back. He couldn't sleep the night without seeing a glimpse of her, but now he had, so he put out the cigarette that he was smoking and started to walk back home.
As Spike took a few steps forward, he heard an angry, familiar voice hover behind him.
"What the hell do you think you're doing? I thought this obsession with me was over?" Buffy yelled and slapped Spike hard.
"Ouch!" Spike cried sturdily and looked deep into the Slayer's eyes, "I didn't mean to disturb you. I just wanted to- I wanted to see you". It was hard for Spike to express himself, but he really did try to.
"Oh. Well, you did disturb me and I don't want you seeing me! I HATE you, Spike! Don't you get it? We're enemies NOT friends!" Buffy screamed at him and Spike started to feel his heart breaking, but he continued to walk to stop himself from crying. He walked at a fast pace and he couldn't believe how short it took for him to get back to his place and he also couldn't believe how much he wanted to get rid of Buffy. This was BUFFY. The girl that Spike would die for, but he didn't want her following him for the simple fact that he couldn't face up to her anymore. He was too scared.
"So? Are you going to stop it now? Stop this fascination over me?" Buffy questioned him. She was determined for him to say yes and he knew this, but he couldn't. How could he say yes to the girl that made his heart whole?
"No" Spike replied meekly and lit up another cigarette. It was the only thing that could keep him steady.
The smoke swirled around the ringlets in Buffy's hair and it almost hid her face as she spoke.
"That's a disgusting habit," Buffy told him, but she wasn't referring to the smoking. She was referring to him liking her and Spike sussed this.
"I'm sorry" Spike apologised and turned his back to her, "I'm ashamed and I'm sorry, but how am I suppose to stop these feelings? Tell me. How am I suppose to live a whole day without torturing myself for a glance of your beauty? You're nothing special, Buffy, but my heart says you are. I think you are." Spike told Buffy.
Buffy stood surprised by what Spike had just said and listened to what more he had to say to her.
"And now it's got to the point where I can't stop to destroy these feelings. Buffy, they're KILLING ME! They're bloody killing me! And I CAN'T stop them! Some days I just want to kill myself, because of- because of ... YOU!" His eyes started to bring out tears and Spike started to get furious. "I want to KILL YOU, because you're the damn Slayer! I'm a vampire and you're a vampire Slayer! That's the ironic thing in all of this, Buffy" Spike cried and he started to head for the door, "Now, if you can truly and honestly say that you can't love me or that you don't feel a thing for me then go, but if you think that you can then stay, but I don't want to know the answer" Spike whispered and went out of the door.
"Now, if you can truly and honestly say that you can't love me or that you don't feel a thing for me then go, but if you think that you can then stay, but I don't want to know the answer". That sentence whirled around in Buffy's head and she was amazed at the power of Spike's passion for her.
Go .. Stay .. Go ..
Stay.
And so she did. And now she was waiting for him to come back. She felt the same way as he did for her. She just never realised it until now.
She was waiting. Was he going to come back? It had been a year. Was anyone worrying about her? Why wasn't anyone searching for her in the obvious place? Why wasn't she moving? There were too many questions that were in need of an answer, but Buffy kept one question in her head.
Was he coming back?
She was getting cold. She was dying, but she waited. Waited for the one man that she was suppose to be with.
She waited.
She stayed.
TO BE CONTINUED...