a/n:

This story was written as an ending to Adventures in Homewrecking by butweareallmadhere, as part of a contest.

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Lily Luna Potter didn't care anymore. She graduated bottom of her class from Hogwarts, with one N.E.W.T; in Herbology of all subjects. She suspected that she only got this grade because of Professor Longbottom's incessant tutoring. Lily drank all day, and banged all night. She slept with anyone and everyone: boys, girls, pieces of furniture, animals, you name it.

The rest of her family was perfect, of course. Albus Severus, her brother, had married a lovely girl by the name of Alice, the daughter of Professor Longbottom. The two had wed quite recently; in fact, by Lily's calculations, they were on their honeymoon right now.

Rose was dating Scorpius Malfoy, as predicted. They were so perfect for each other that it made Lily nauseas. Especially so when she realized she could be dating Scorpius; Lily had a crush on him at school.

Hugo was a bachelor, but an extremely good-looking one. He had his choice of girls at his fingertips, him being a world renowned healer and all.

James had married a girl named Elizabeth Martin in his year. They had a son named Harry, with another on the way. Elizabeth's hair was red and she was possibly the most wholesome girl to walk the earth, making her an instant favorite in the family. Lily loathed her.

In fact, Lily loathed everyone these days, including herself. Which reminded her, she needed to get home. Lily pulled herself out of the pond of vomit around her and, detaching a strand of her dyed-blonde hair from her cheek, apparated home. Lily Luna stood in the shower, not bothering to shed her mini dress. She hoped whoever she woke up to wasn't too disappointed to find her gone. Lily paused in her efforts to cleanse herself to vomit into the shower, not caring enough to walk the few feet to the toilet.

She dressed quickly in jeans and a tight-fitting low cut top and glanced at the clock. Lily realized she was late for work, tossed on some robes and apparated to Diagon Alley. The only reason she even had a job was because her parents had disowned her after she checked herself out of rehab after the tenth time they checked her in. Besides, Lily needed her money for more firewhiskey.

Lily hurried into the Leaky Cauldron, apologized to the landlord for being late, and got to bussing tables. She was halfheartedly wiping a rag across a table when the one person she didn't expect to see walked into the pub. "Teddy," she breathed.

The two stared at each other in silence until Teddy opened his arms, expecting a hug. Instead, a very hung-over Lily started hitting him for all she was worth. "You-git-you're-the-reason-I'm-such-a-drunken-slut-you-jerk", she said in between punches. Teddy was dumbfounded, trying to shield his face as the angry blonde hit him again and again. "LILY!" he said, finally getting her to cease her efforts. "Can you tell me why you're so mad at me so that we can sort this over like the mature adults we are?"

So, Lily told him everything. How she had been in love with him since the first time she saw him, how she had started her downward spiral when he had stopped writing her, how she thought that Victoire was a self-centered bitch who didn't deserve him, and most of all, how much she needed Teddy. Lily Luna hated to admit it, but Teddy could help her get better: Teddy could give her a second chance at life. Lily hated being a loose, drunken, blonde.

After her outpouring of words, Teddy did the last thing Lily would ever expect him to do: he kissed her.

That was how the affair had started. Lily and Teddy met once a week at different places for the best fuck either of them would ever have. Everything was going great. Lily had dyed her hair back to its natural color and had been sober since the day the affair had begun. She apologized to her parents, and had been accepted back into the family with open arms after it was deemed that Lily Luna truly had changed. She retook her N.E.W.T's and scored high enough to get a steady job at Flourish and Blotts.

By the time the affair had been going on for three years, Teddy and Lily were starting to get careless. Eventually, the inevitable day came. Lily had come over to Teddy's house after his assurances that Victoire and the children were gone for the day. They were just about to finish when they hears a loud thump followed by three screams in the doorway. Victoire had seen the two of them naked, with Teddy on top of Lily, and had promptly fainted. The three children had run in to the room after their mother fainted, took one look, and ran screaming out.

Lily Luna disapparated home after she and Teddy had dressed, leaving him and Victoire to sort things out. Exactly three hours after they were discovered, the doorbell rang in Lily's apartment. Standing on her doorstep was her boyfriend. Teddy explained that his wife had kicked him out and that the two were getting a divorce. Lily tried to look sorry, but on the inside was screaming with happiness. She agreed to let Teddy stay at her place, and levitated his luggage in.

The two were reasonably happy until the next Sunday, which was when the Weasleys/Potters had their weekly dinner at the Burrow. Gulping, Lily grabbed Teddy's hand and apparated to the house.

The couple walked in with their hands joined and were immediately subjected to yelling from everywhere, especially from Victoire. "You steal my husband from me and you have the nerve to show up here? You, Lily Luna Potter, are a man-stealing home-wrecking bitch!"

Lily faced the yelling with a stoic face. Once everybody had settled down, Lily dropped the true bombshell." By the way, I'm pregnant". Jaws dropped. Teddy promptly fainted, and the yelling started right back up again. Smirking, Lily turned on her heel and apparated home, thoroughly enjoying her Slytherin traits.