Author: Keiran
Title: The Trouble with Vision 1/1
Rating: 13+
Warnings: … silliness? Unbetaed.
Pairing: unless you count Gojyo's cracks as implications, none.
Genre: ficlet, humour.

Notes: what can I say? He looks so cute with his glasses!

xxxXXXxxx

One would think that under the constant onslaught they would have already gotten used to demon attacks, but no, Gojyo mused, staring at the far wall of the stone prison. Normally he would have enjoyed the sight of any of his companions in chains, but 'normally' did not include chains around his own wrists and neck.

"That must be our first time running into demons that actually use the space between their ears," he remarked, stretching as far as the bonds would allow. Yep, that was the strategy. One could hardly be prepared for something that happens for the first time, now can he? How was one to expect mere demons to consider manacles limiting demon powers?

"Shut up," Sanzo ground out. The remaining three wondered about the state of his teeth. He was gritting them a lot recently.

"No reason to get mad, blondie," the half-breed drawled. "I would get more worried then mad, if I were you. The monkey's bound to wake up any minute, and he's bound to be hungry."

"And that's my problem how, you brain-dead kappa?"

"You're the only organic thing in his range. Not that I would put eating rocks past him, but that's only after he ran out of more digestible stuff."

"Ch'." The red-head was very much aware that once they got free – and they would, no questions about that – the monk would have his hide. Self-preservation was one of the many-lettered and difficult concepts he liked to contemplate over a can of beer and a smoke only.

Plus, he had Hakkai to bail him out of trouble.

As expected, Goku did wake up very soon. Even more expectedly, the first thing out of his mouth was 'hungry'. Followed by 'starving'.

"Well, your blessedness, better think fast," Gojyo taunted. "We wouldn't want the monkey to swallow something he isn't able to digest."

Sanzo growled and pulled at his chains. He would murder the good-for-nothing bleeding idiot, as soon as his hands were free and he had his sutra back. Blasted demons with brain power. They were even worse than the cretins he had to put up with on an everyday basis.

"Goku," he snarled, having gotten some semblance of control over himself.

"I'm hungry, Sanzo," his charge replied forlornly.

"Shut up for a second, will you?" If only he had the paper fan at his disposal… But no, the demons thought it would be prudent to remove anything even remotely resembling paper from the remote vicinity. Luckily for the prisoners, their captors weren't particularly educated. Just intelligent. "There's a talisman on the wall. Tell me what it says." Goku blinked his wide eyes at him and obediently leaned forward, over Sanzo's lap.

"Uh – it says 'light' and 'fly'," he said, his voice betraying slight confusion, "But I can't make out the rest of it."

The priest swore, loudly and explicitly. "Kinda makes you wonder," Gojyo muttered to Hakkai. "When I listen to how creative he gets with swearing, I'm starting to consider joining the temple that taught him that."

Meanwhile Sanzo turned his head and glared at the grimy piece of paper. "Try, at least. If you can read two, the rest should be readable too. It doesn't seem to be too dirty."

"It's not that," Goku replied shaking his head. "I can see them just fine. I just don't recognize the symbols."

Silence reigned.

"But you should be able to read it, Sanzo," Hakkai said, his expression baffled. "If it's still readable." The monk glared venomously and muttered something inaudible under his breath.

"Monkey, tell me what the symbols look like," he ordered. The following hour proved to be rather entertaining, as Goku tried to describe some of the most complicated ideograms he had ever encountered.

"Not that I want to put a stop to this theatre," Gojyo said finally, once his laughter died down to mere chuckles, "But can someone please explain why is the monkey reading a talisman incantation to the mighty Sanzo priest?"

"None of your business, you bloody kappa," the blond monk sneered.

"But Sanzo, the paper is right beside your head. I understand Goku's education is important, but surely it can wait for another time?" Typically for Hakkai, the question seemed perfectly reasonable and full of concern. Sanzo grumbled something inaudible in return. "What was that?"

"Sanzo is far-sighted." Surprisingly, the information came from the most unexpected source. "S'why he wears glasses for reading." Goku nodded wisely, before going back to deciphering the series of ink-strokes.

On the other side of the cell the demon and half-demon stared, first at each other, than at the duo opposite them, their eyes going wide. Sanzo glared, daring either of them to make a comment. They didn't.

They broke down laughing instead.

Needless to say, once the prison and the castle was finally ground to dust (it's not like it was that unpredictable, anyway), Gojyo found himself running for dear life, chased by bullets and the paper fan of doom.

END.

Revised (a little) on 30 September 2005. Thanks to Crimson1 and the 'Just dropping by' person for pointing the 'far-sighted' thing out. It's corrected now.