Name: Letters to Home
Set after 02x13
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, but it would be a rather nice Christmas present ;)
Merlin was late for work again. It was the fourth time this week and Arthur was starting to get slightly concerned because, despite what he claimed daily about not caring about Merlin, secretly he did and he had noticed that ever since the dragon's attack on Camelot he'd seemed slightly- odd. Merlin was odd on the best of days, but this was a different kind- Arthur couldn't quite put his finger on why, but it was like there was something missing; his usual happy-go-lucky, sarcastic humour was gone, and in its place was just emptiness.
After the fourth day of him being like this, Arthur decided it was his duty, as a friend, to find out what was troubling him, so he headed off to see if Gaius knew what was wrong. When he arrived at the physician's room the door was closed so he knocked.
"Gaius," he whispered, peeking round the door, "Gaius." He repeated, louder this time. When no one answered he went in; maybe he just couldn't hear him- he was, after all, getting on a bit. When he went in he realised that Gaius certainly wasn't in, but he appeared to have left a note for Merlin, it read:
Merlin
I've been asked to go on an emergency call to a small village; I won't be gone for more than a few days.
Gaius.
Well that left Arthur in a bad situation. If he wanted to know what was wrong with Merlin, he'd have to ask the man himself, and with the mood he was in he wasn't likely to get an answer. All the same, Arthur thought to himself, he might as well try. He went up the door he knew lead to Merlin's room and knocked, but as he made contact with the door it drifted open, so he went in. The room was an absolute mess there were clothes and books on the floor and paper all over the table.
It was clear there was no one here so Arthur turned to leave, but as he did a word on one of the pieces of paper caught his eye- Father. He knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't help it as his curiosity got the better of him and he took a better look at the paper. He knew that Merlin had never known his father, much like Arthur and his mother, so he wondered what he could possibly be writing about.
One glimpse of the paper told him he shouldn't be reading it. It was a letter Merlin had written to his mother, but Arthur had already started reading and he'd read enough that he had to continue.
Mother,
I'm sorry I don't write often, but I don't have the time, looking after Arthur is a time consuming job. You probably heard about the dragon attacking Camelot a few days ago but that's not why I'm writing- not really. You know the only way a dragon can be stopped. I met father. I wish I'd known him for more time but I couldn't save him. I'm sorry you had to find all this out like this but there's no other way you could find out and I know you'll want to know. I understand so many things now; why he left, why I am like I am- and I'm sure one day I'll be glad I met him, but now I can't bring myself to be happy about that; its my fault he died. I'm sorry.
Love always Merlin.
Arthur took a moment to let this sink in. Merlin had met his father? When? Why had he never mentioned it to him? And he couldn't understand why Merlin would think it was his fault.
Before he'd had a chance to figure it out, he heard the door open and Merlin's voice calling for Gaius. He threw the letter onto the desk and walked towards the door but Merlin got there before he did.
"Arthur," he looked confused, "why were you in my room?"
"I was looking for you." He said cautiously, adding, "You were late again."
Merlin walked around his room, his eyes gliding around, checking if anything had been moved, "did you touch anything?"
Arthur was confused. That wasn't the response he was expecting, "No," he lied, "I'd only been here for a moment before you got here."
He visibly relaxed at this. "Good," he moved towards his desk and quickly folded up the letter to Hunith and put it in a roughly made envelope he'd brought back in with him. Arthur decided to feign cluelessness in the hope Merlin would explain to him.
He gestured to the letter, "Who's that for?"
Merlin obviously tensed up and cast his eyes down. "Mother." He replied shortly.
"Oh…" Arthur struggled to think of anything else he could get him to talk about. "Mention me much?" he teased.
Merlin sighed, "Look Arthur, I appreciate what you're trying to do but just, give me time okay?"
"What's wrong Merlin? You can talk to me you know."
"I'm fine really I just need time." With that, he stood up, taking the letter with him and left Arthur feeling confused and rejected.