This is my entry for the Fall Friends with Benefits Challenge. Since Neji, Tenten and Shikamaru are involved, it's dark, twisted but sexy.
Pairing: ShikaTen is a crack pairing so I decided to go all the way against the usual trends. Minor/light mentions of: InoCho, KibaHina, NejiSaku.
Word count: 3347 words
Warning: This fic is rated M for language, mature themes and character death. Despite the fact that everything is non-explicit, it is rated M for a reason. Please, if you are underage, take this into consideration before reading.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
I tried something new: the first point of view thing, which is from Tenten's POV. So here is a small legend designed to prevent anyone of feeling the slightest bits of confusion:
Normal police: Tenten's POV
Italics: Omniscient narrator
Enjoy! :)
Tenten became twisted the second he died, she decided. When his shy cousin showed up at her office a small card in her hands and dark circles under her eyes, she decided she wouldn't cry, would live on as his anonymous widow so that she would have the strength to deny his death until her own.
Tenten would deny it until the end but she became twisted in law school, when she fell in love with Neji Hyuuga.
-X-
Two days before Neji Hyuuga's death…
"Are you here for a deal, Hyuuga?" I smirked watching Neji carefully as he sat down in front of me, his suit neatly unbuttoned.
I hated how my voice sounded when I was dressed as the procurer.
I hated how handsome he looked.
I hated how much I loved him despite the years and his coldness.
Every movement of the defense attorney held an inhumane grace and every time I watched him, I felt like an ugly duckling. Every time, the truth damned on me, crawled under my skin and I screamed behind the procurer's mask. I worked hard, hoping I could fix myself or at least the pallid reflection of myself I could see in his pearl eyes, hoping he would finally see me beyond the mask of the procurer.
Pathetic. Avoiding his glance, I busied myself with laying papers, my books of law neatly displayed behind me around my ancient weapon collection. Throughout the years, my office had changed, got larger and they were my hunt trophies; the metaphoric heads of criminals I had put behind bars. It intimidated any defense lawyer walking into my office; they would sweat even. But not Neji Hyuuga.
The prodigy had a reputation that followed him like an evil shadow set out to kill anyone standing on his path to greatness. He was a natural at anything he did and I was a hard-worker. The first time we met in court, he destroyed my defense within a few sentences.
I worked harder, slept less and I managed to put his clients behind bars, fighting every feeling bubbling up inside of me while doing so. Yet, he would smirk at the end of each trial shaking hands with his client and I would die a little more each time; his clients were always sentenced for less than anticipated. It was his win, every time.
I kept fighting and he kept dodging all of my attacks. Sometimes, I would throw my paperwork in the living room, raged through the study, wild sobs tearing me open. My loft was the only place where the procurer disappeared and feelings erupted.
It was messy, deafening and twisted.
Because I loved him and he never did.
"Two years," he sternly answered looking down for a brief moment at his watch. My laugh erupted in my office and I shook my head leaning back against my seat.
"Children stealing chocolate bunnies during Easter time had been sentenced to more than two years, Hyuuga. This is ridiculous," I rose to my feet, opened a drawer of my filling cabinet. I pulled out the file of his client and waved it in front of Neji's face. "Your client killed a security guard from his car while his accomplice robbed a jewelry story. He even stormed out of the crime scene instead of reporting it." Roughly, I replaced the file and with a movement of the hip, I closed the drawer.
"My client was driving a friend. It was dark and he thought he was merely defending himself against a man who pulled a gun at him. You know very well this is how the jury will see it. Do yourself a favor and accept it. Two years."
There were moments when his presence would only bring up my darkest side and the darkness inside of me would twist, reaching out of me and I was a procurer again. I walked to back to my seat.
He'd made me into who I was, there was no point in denying it. Inside and out, he was the architect of my very existence. I laced my fingers together leaning forward on my desk.
Couldn't he see the Saharan sabre behind me? I was more than a scared stray cat in a courtroom. I could fight and one day, I would win.
"Well, then I will remind you in court that if he were just driving, he wouldn't have needed that gun on the passenger seat for starters." We glared at one another and again, I hoped for him to pull up a fight but he looked down once more at his watch and my heart sank. "I trust you can see yourself out." I coldly added instead my eyes aimlessly running across the paperwork in front of me.
"Hn," he stood up, buttoned his expensive jacket and stared down at me with expressionless orbs. "As you wish but it would be shameful for you, Ling."
"The door, Hyuuga," I repeated her heart freezing in her chest. My eyes burnt and tears welled up. I gagged in cold raw pain. "Close it behind you."
The door closed and his eyes fell on the golden embedded name onto it. I heard him cursed under his breath as he hesitated as always, his hand still on the door handle. Next to my office door, it read Tenten Zhang.
It was the tenth time, he mistook me for someone I wasn't. My hand reached for the Saharan sabre, caressing the fine work of the steel with light fingers.
I was definitely no stray cat. I just wished he could see that or least see me for who I was.
-X-
Two days later, when his lazy partner showed in court instead of him, her mask almost severed. She caught herself on time, at the sound of the mallet. Her voice rang stonily in court and she cut through the fat client. Over and over. She was a lion, a queen, a warrior. Her arguments were savage and pitiless.
She won but it tasted bitter as the spiky headed lawyer made his way to her. Somehow, she already knew; it was written all over his face, it hung to his gait, to the way he gently leaned forward as if she were a porcelain doll.
Neji Hyuuga was dead.
The mask crumbled at her feet and she hurled. Over and over.
This was the first time, Shikamaru held her, breathed in her scent, felt her tears running down his neck. At the time, he thought it would be the first and last time. At that time, he still hadn't had the idea of following to a bar a few hours after the funeral.
-X-
Four days after Neji Hyuuga's death…
There's something so strange when someone dies; you still expected him to show, still wait for him at every corner. 'It was a bad dream, it was a joke,' this is what you expected him to say once he showed up. Except he never did.
So you masked the truth, applied kohl under your eyes, curled your eyelashes as if he were still there to see. You simply denied him the right to die.
"Tennie?" Ino Yamanaka bit her below lip as she watched me reddened my high cheek bones in slow deliberate movements. The mask needed to be perfect as to never crack.
Still, I didn't trust my voice to remain even and strong. Not with the concern I could see in her eyes.
"Hm?"
"Are you sure you want to go? No one will hold it against you if you didn't show." She asked quietly leaning against the doorframe of her bathroom. She had insisted I stayed with her for a couple of days to watch over me. I paused for a moment staring at her fair skin, at her blond silver-like hair and her black dress.
"I was invited so I will go."
The blond haired woman bit her below lip harder, drawing blood. She hesitated but I avoided her pleading glance. I never told her about Neji but I guessed you could say Ino had a gift. She would stare at anyone and just know everything about them. Yet, she spent most of her days locked away from any social acquaintance, in a greenhouse at the state University doing research for the Botany Department.
I never asked her if they sometimes discussed it between friends but I could feel the tension whenever I mentioned a case including Neji: Chouji and Ino would exchange a meaningful glance, Shikamaru's face would darken and Kiba would grow quiet for a moment clutching Hinata's hand in his. In this exact order. They were as predictable as me.
"Tennie?" Ino tried again stepping in the bathroom.
"Hmm?"
"You look like a widow."
I smiled humorlessly at the reflection of myself. Dark hazel eyes, two steel orbs stared back at me. The dark lines under my eyes made them look sharper, their curve enhanced at their extremity. Those lines were the only guarantee that I wouldn't cry.
"Good," I answered simply, settling the brush down onto the vanity cabinet. "Very good."
It was the first time in years, my face represented accurately how I felt inside.
-X-
Tenten ignored the whispers during the funeral but they were loud and harassing. They pounded in her mind, sneaked into her defense. She was breathless and hurting. They said they were a fake and a real widow attending the service.
'No, this can't be,' she shook her head and Ino held her hand. She turned cold when their eyes met. Suffocating, she muttered her condolences avoiding her teary emerald eyes and the golden band around her ring finger.
Sakura Hyuuga was pregnant with her first child when her husband died.
-X-
Three hours after Neji Hyuuga's funeral…
Loving Neji had always felt like drowning in dark heavy waters.
I guessed I had been just as blind as him. And Ino… it burnt my throat how they probably all knew that he had been married all along. He hadn't been blind; he had been in love, engaged and then married.
God, how could I have been so stupid?
Restlessly, I moved in my seat flipping through the menu. Finally, I ordered a scotch without glancing at the young waiter. I kicked off my high heels in frustration looking around me at the fancy hotel bar. I had chosen one of the leather seats near the window, where the whispers of the only other customers could barely reach me. Before me, the moon shone above the dormant city. The modern décor of the bar was reflected onto the scenery, melting into it. I wondered how it would feel to fall down into those lights and to breathe in the cold air as its speed broke my body.
I wondered if it would hurt less than the thought of a married Neji resting underground.
I wondered how it would feel to die.
"May I join you, Ten?"
Snapping out of my reverie, I focused on the tall handsome defense lawyer. Without waiting for an answer, Shikamaru Nara sat in front of me in a leather sofa. The waiter set my drink in front of me and the dark haired man shrugged languidly pointing at the drink.
"I'll have the same thing. Make it double, no ice."
I smiled sadly at him, the ice in the dark liquor clicking softly against the glass. I didn't need to be pitied or chaperoned.
"Did Ino send you? Because I'm fine, I just needed a breather."
The glint in his eyes revealed that he knew I was lying. I wasn't fine, I was drowning and he was dead. I took a first sip, the pain in my chest suddenly warm.
"That troublesome woman is dating Chouji, not me. I'm free to do as I please." He grimaced reaching for a cigar in his jacket. "Do you mind?"
I chuckled softly, taking a sip from my drink under Shikamaru's persistent glance. Somehow, I knew that he meant if I minded that he intruded into my solitude. Even back in law school, Shikamaru was lazy, his movements always languid but precise. He was a different kind of genius than Neji; he wasn't a prodigy or a natural. He was a strategist. Anything he did had a accurate, predetermined, calculated goal.
"You followed me?" I asked coldly, narrowing my eyes at him as he lit his cigar.
"I decline to answer, troublesome woman." He smirked watching me through the thick grey smoke, twisting around his cigar.
I looked away, following with my eyes, the cars and the pedestrians snaking in the streets. I shifted in my seat, his silence making me uneasy.
"Do you have a second one?"
I expected him to raise a brow but he nearly handed me a cigar.
"You are the most easy-going person, I know, Shika, but that doesn't make you anything less troublesome," I stated seriously despite the emptiness I felt gnawing my bones. The mask was back but the lines of the make-up faded onto the purple light of the bar. "I'll deny this if you tell Ino, by the way."
I lit the cigar, drawing quick puffs into my lungs. The smoke rolled onto my mouth and he was still watching me carefully. My head became light from the smoke and alcohol.
We talked about law, Ino and the others, probing carefully for any topic that could exhumed Neji's ghost from my mind. Our cigars lay in a pile of ashes in the ashtray at the center of the table, extinguished. The moon shone brighter and the glasses piled up. At some point, I had sat next to Shikamaru, my naked arm tickled by the fabric of his jacket.
"You know," I slurred, the lights of the city blurred by the amount of alcohol in my veins. "I used to smoke my father's cigars whenever he was away. Sometime before I got in, I swore to myself I would stop."
"What a troublesome thought," he growled waving the waiter forward for another glass of scotch. "I bet it's about lung cancer."
I laughed, my hand squeezing his arm. I felt him tensed and when he turned his face towards mine, his breath caressed my cheek.
"Not at all," I huffed. "I had to replace them because I knew my father would notice if one of his expensive Cuban cigars went missing. It burnt through my allowance money pretty fast. I just had to stop."
He closed his eyes, his head rolling back while his hand agitated the dark brownish liquid in his glass.
"What about lung cancer? It's always about lung cancer," he asserted in a low voice.
"Yes, Shikamaru Nara, what about lung cancer?" I cocked my head on the side, watching him through half-open lids. Then, I whispered in his ear: "What do you make of dying?"
"Nothing, it's too troublesome, and you?"
"They are other ways to die and other ways to suffer than illness," I answered bitterly reaching for my new filled glass. The script of a car accident played in my mind. I imagined how the smoke twisted in the sky above the car before exploding. Abruptly, I gulped the last sip, the alcohol burning my throat but I didn't care. It cleared my mind, quietened the raising voices inside of me. My skin burnt beneath my fingers as I massaged the back of my neck. By cascades, my auburn hair slipped out of my rigid buns.
I was exposed and I finally didn't care.
"You're beautiful, troublesome woman." Shikamaru's opened eyes suddenly stared at me, one of my locks twisted between his fingers.
I laughed shaking my head, pushing him away. I was drunk, hurting and hollow and a man was complimenting the mess I was.
Patiently, he waited, watching me, drinking one sip at a time. He savoured the liquor and me, closing the distance between us. Absent-mindedly, I felt his fingers on my scalp, his look travelling down my slender neck, resting on my cleavage before returning to my face.
"Are we at this time of the night when you tell me nice things before driving me back to Ino's apartment? I hate it when leisure time is over." I growled.
He caught my wrist when I reached over for my drink. His eyes fell on my high heels, as if he were debating something inwardly. When his eyes met mine, there was the cloud of lust and alcohol veiling them.
"No, we are at this troublesome time of the night when leisure time begins and I ask you: my place or yours?"
-X-
Shikamaru became twisted the second he realized he would never have her heart. Slouched against the hard wooden bench of the courtroom, he saw the glances she sneaked at the Hyuuga dark haired prodigy. But she fought his partner with all her might; she handled the sword of justice like only a dedicated procurer would. His partner never noticed her; she was just this one procurer and he was a defense attorney. Water and oil didn't mix. Somehow, after years of watching, it still made him angry and cold.
He loved her enough to wish for her happiness but not enough to let her go.
Yes, Shikamaru would deny it until the end but he became twisted in the shadow of Neji Hyuuga.
-X-
"I don't want this to come between our friendship," I whispered my naked back to him.
My skin still gleamed from our sweat in the dimmed light of dawn. His dark gaze followed my slow movements as I gathered my clothes on the floor. My head throbbed and sobs fought their way up my rib cage. I struggled with is scent on my skin, with the thought of his hands caressing me.
One arm crossed under his head, Shikamaru watched me an unlit cigarette dangling between his lips.
"This was a drunken mistake and if you ever mention it I will deny it."
I suddenly realised that when it came to Shikmaru, there were lots of things I was ready to deny; Neji's death, the cigar and now this. Behind me, I heard him laugh lowly. He probably thought about the same things, probably saw through me. Sitting on the edge of his bed appeared as sitting on the edge of the world. Cold and faraway from any of them.
The mattress cried out in protest when I sensed him sit up. His fingers traveled like ghosts on my hot skin.
"Stop it," I snapped.
"You're troublesome." He muttered taking his fingers off me.
I pulled my dress over my head and my shaky hands tried to zip it up. His lips were suddenly on my neck again. He pinned me back onto the mattress and my breath caught in my throat when I sensed him against my thigh. I fought him weakly, eyes widened and lips still bruised from his kisses. The lazy young man panted heavily, his hot breath in my ear when he reached it. Slowly, he nibbled it and I whimpered below him.
"I said, stop it!"
His weight disappeared and he pulled me up again in a sitting position. I panted, I glared. Pressing my arms over my chest, I watched him warily. Unfazed, he pushed aside my heavy dark locks and he zipped the dress up for me.
"You will call me back, Tenten, and not just as simple friends" he whispered falling back onto his bed. "Maybe not today or tomorrow but I'm the closest thing you have from Neji and you know it. I'm the closest troublesome thing you have from fucking him."
My limbs shook when I stood up. I picked my high heels up and I turned back towards him only when my hand was on the doorknob.
"You're a twisted fuckhead, Shikamaru."
Without a second glance, I slammed the door behind me, my mouth still tasting of tobacco, lust and friendship.
He was right nonetheless and I wondered what that made of me.
I denied Neji's death when Shikamaru entered me. I even moaned parts of his name. Over and over.
Except Shikamaru wasn't Neji.
-X-
They were both in love but it wasn't reciprocal. The slain couldn't love anyone back and so couldn't an anonymous dedicated widow.
And so their tale began, devoid of love, hope and tenderness. After denial came anger and it consumed them both the second their lips met again in the elevator of the Department of Justice days later.
-X-
Since I'm experimenting with first POV mechanisms, I may do the second chapter in Shikamaru's POV. I still don't know; I guess it depends of how you guys react to this first chapter.
Challenge facts: 3347/10 000 words.