''God, why did I agree to do this?'' Shepard asks as she paces the floor in front of the studio's stage. The bright lights overheard instantly giving her a headache as she blinks rapidly to try and dispel the white dots she can now see floating in front of her eyes.
''It can't be all that bad commander.'' Kaidan responds with a sigh as he approaches her, intending to put a hand on her shoulder to try and calm her, but she shuffles away with a side step.
''I should be out shooting things, you know, blowing shit up… god, why did I agree to this interview. Who gives a fuck about how woman are viewed in the military?'' she snaps, her teeth grinding together as she focuses on the hideous pink lounge suite on stage that she will shortly be sitting in.
''Shepard you can't seriously be scared of answering a nosy woman's questions? You're commander Shepard, Hero of the Citadel... come on, you talked Saren into shooting himself, I don't see why you're making such a fuss. This is child's play.'' Garrus rumbles, his laughter bubbling up to the surface as she turns to glare at him.
''Shut it Vakarian, that was different and you know it! Saren made that choice himself in the end. Here…where there will probably be millions of people watching me… I feel cornered Garrus and I don't like it.'' She says viciously, scuffing her boots on the tiled floor.
''Then why did you agree to it Ma'am?'' Kaidan asks again and her eyebrows twitch in irritation as he once again tries to touch her. She glares at him until he tucks his hands behind his back and she ignores his frown.
''At the time I thought it would be a good idea, you know, boost morale and show that women are capable of everything men are capable of… for fucks sake, you know what I mean right?! All that feminist – 'I'm a woman hear me roar – bullshit. I am severely regretting opening my big mouth now.'' She huffs and she can hear Garrus still snickering at her theatrics from behind her.
She turns to look at her two companions, the two men she trusted with her life and had trusted on many occasions. The three of them brought Saren down with finesse and style, only sustaining minor injuries and in the end… why the fuck was she the only one who was suddenly instantly recognisable?! The injustice of it all rankled her… her team deserved the same recognition she'd got. Why weren't their faces suddenly plastered all over recruitment posters or on billboards across the galaxy? Why had she been singled out? She ruffled her hair with one hand and sighed. Well, she was in for it now.
In combat she could spew whatever shit came out of her mouth if it meant keeping her and her team alive… here, in front of all these cameras she suddenly felt apprehensive, almost scared to open her mouth as she knew how manipulative, how conniving some anchor-women could be. She didn't want her words to be twisted or misinterpreted.
Suck it up Shepard she chanted and she waited for the roll call, for everyone to be herded on stage like cattle or like lambs being led to their slaughter. She dropped the scowl on her face and adjusted the armour on her arms as it pinched the more she tensed up. She felt a presence behind her, not touching, but close enough to at least be able to imagine the warmth coming from them and she instantly relaxed.
''You good Shepard?'' Garrus drawled in her ear and she hummed an affirmative.
''Thanks Vakarian.'' She muttered as she turned her head around and looked up at him. He smiled and nodded his head as he backed away.
''Miss Shepard, Savannah is ready for you now. Please be seated… your companions are free to wait here for you.'' The assistant squeaked as she arranged the glasses on her face and she gulped as Shepard narrowed her eyes.
Suck it up Shepard.
As she took her seat on the hideous plush pink couch she internally cringed as she imagined the questions she would soon face. She looked around the stage and she squinted through the lights to try and catch sight of her crew – but all she could see in the darkest corner was a blue shiny glow coming from a visor. Obviously Garrus had retreated right to the back, probably to try and keep his laughter from interfering with the show – the bastard. She couldn't help grinning as she saw him casually wave a hand for her to get on with it so that they could go drink and continue celebrating their victory.
Shepard watched in fascination as a human woman walked on set, her high heels echoing atrociously on the fake floor of the stage and she moulded herself to the couch like she had been born there, her legs perfectly crossed in a lady-like fashion, her manicured nails now trailing through her blonde locks as she tussled it, applying lip-stick with her free hand, her eyes roaming over Shepard in disgust as she took in her scratched armour.
God, this woman was a piece of work.
Shepard suddenly felt incredibly insecure in regards to her looks in this ultra-elite place, with all these women parading about like catwalk models. She surreptitiously checked her nails, aware that she had never had a Mani or a Pedi-cure in her entire life and she fought the urge to bring her finger to her mouth and bite off the hang nail she could see.
Yeah, this was going to be a real clusterfuck.
''All hands ready. We're live in 3….2…1…'' the assistant shouted only to end in a whisper.
''Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen and welcome to tonight's show. I know we have all been eagerly awaiting to speak to our guest tonight and find out just what it is that makes her tick.'' The host said and she flashed her hundred watt smile at Shepard who blinked in confusion at the sudden change in her personality.
Oh fuck here we go…
''Commander Shepard, thank you for joining us.'' The host said and she lifted a hand in greeting.
''Uh.. Glad to be here.'' Shepard said quietly and cursed internally at her sudden lack of confidence.
She was Commander FUCKING Shepard. She could do this.
''Thank you for having me…'' she continued on in a stronger voice and she caught the tell-tale twitch at the host's amusement when her eyebrow lifted.
Bitch…
''Commander Shepard... would you tell us what it's like to be a woman, in a high ranking position, in a military that is predominantly male-based? Do you face a lot of hardship?'' the host asked, her pretty pink mouth ending up in a pout at the end of her question.
''No, you have to understand... the only reason that there are more men in a position of power is because it's generally only men that apply to join the military.. It makes sense that there would be more men in power don't you think, if hardly any women sign up?'' she said, her hands falling open in a gesture of understanding as she leaned forward in her seat.
''Yes, but you must realise that some don't see it that way. Some think that the higher ups, the men… don't promote women because they think we are beneath them, weaker in a sense…'' she said.
''No, that's not true at all. I fought hard to get where I am today, but no more than anyone else. I completed my relevant training, gained my N7 rank and made sure to study in my spare time whether it be in tech, strategy or spending god-knows how many hours in the shooting range perfecting my aim. We all have our own ways of fighting, of rising through the ranks and I personally believe that if you have been passed over for promotion, it's in your best interest to discover just what it is that you still have to learn, in order to be considered. In all my years in the service I have never witnessed favouritism based on gender, race or species. Yes, there may be a few crooked corners here and there but mostly, the alliance is a place where anyone has a chance to make a name for themselves. '' she said and grabbed for the glass of water that had been placed in front of her, gulping greedily and earning a frown from the host.
''I see… Well, I am certainly glad to hear that not all women have to fear never getting anywhere in the military. You are a prime example of what can be achieved. You are being called the Hero of the Citadel. Tell me, how does that make you feel?'' she asked and Shepard tried with all her might to not roll her eyes.
''While I'm flattered... I have to repeat that I could never have achieved any of this without my team. Tali, Wrex, Ashley, Kaidan, Liara and Garrus. Without them, you all would not be sitting here and I have never been more proud of them and the crew on my ship, as I am, this very moment. They are the best of the best and their respective species should remember that they did all they could to ensure a future for your children and you yourselves.'' She said and she turned her head slightly to watch Garrus out of the corner of her eye. He had moved closer to the set, avoiding the cameras and was now leaning against a wall, his arms crossed and a smile on his face and she nearly spluttered in shock as he sent her a wink.
''Are you alright Commander Shepard?'' The host asked and Shepard focused on her again, putting Garrus out of her mind for the moment. The host caught her eyes and she saw the Turian and an evil smile pulled at the corner of her lips.
''Let's not talk about fighting anymore Commander Shepard, while we are and always will be appreciative of what you … and your crew… have done for us, I have several thousand viewers who are just dying to get to know the real you.'' She smirked and Shepard felt a cold blast of nervousness shoot through her.
''Oh… well, um, ask away and I'll see if I can answer.'' She muttered around the rim of her glass, taking a final sip and setting it down before folding her hands on her lap and straightening her back.
''Where did you grow up Commander?'' she asked and Shepard cringed.
''I , uh, grew up on Mindoir. It is a … was… a farming colony…'' she said and her lips pressed into a thin line at the sudden onslaught of unwelcome memories.
''Oh dear, I am sorry to have brought that up. If I understand you were the only survivor of the slaver raid that took –''
''That's all I have to say on the matter.'' Shepard interrupted her and watched the host lose her composure as a dark flush of anger washed over her face.
''Apologies. Moving on… After you attained your N7 rank you were in charge of a team on Akuze…'' she started to say only to stop as Shepard gave a slight hiss accompanied by a slight sneer.
''Once again, I have no comment on the matter. My records are public knowledge and I have no interest in discussing the death of my former team or how it feels to be splattered in acid from Thresher Maws.'' She snapped, now losing her temper at these gossip inducing topics.
''Once again, I apologise… it's just my readers want to know..''
''Couldn't they ask boring questions, like what's my favourite colour – which is blue by the way – or what shop I get my weapons from – Rodam Expedition by the way – or anything that doesn't make me talk about things that you and your viewers have no right to ask me about.'' Shepard quipped, her eyes narrowed, slightly sucking on the inside of her cheek as her irritation made her trigger finger itch for release.
''Right... well…'' the host sniffed in her disgust at Shepard's behaviour on her show and Shepard held in a snort.
''Well commander, I have a question that maybe you can answer. Rumour is... you hate to be touched, I know you don't want to discuss Akuze, but a yes or no answer would suffice.'' And she smirked again as Shepard seriously considered straight up punching this preppy, yapping blonde chihuahua in the face.
''Yes, I don't like to be touched but I hardly see how this could be interesting to you and your viewers, but on the other hand at least you all know now, that if you see me on the Citadel, it's fine to come up to me and say hi... but if you touch me I will most likely end up breaking your jaw.'' She grins, her irritation starting to lift as she pictures her stalker Conrad lying on the floor clutching his jaw with both hands and sobbing like child.
Dumbass shouldn't have grabbed her ass…
''Well, now that certainly is news to everyone.'' The host scoffs in mock interest and she hears Garrus' laughter join the audiences'. She could pick it out from over a hundred people.
How strange.
The questions came one after the after, varying from the mundane right down to the most absurd, each question becoming more invasive than the last and Shepard's knee started to bounce as she grew tired of it all. Kaidan had moved to the front of the set warily, sensing his commanders growing agitation, aware that she was going to blow her top and create a scandal of epic proportions. He swallowed nervously as he saw her clench her hands.
''One last question before we wrap things up commander…'' the host said, flicking her blonde locks over her shoulder.
''Thank god for that.'' Shepard muttered under her breath and she swivelled on the chair, one leg crossed at the knee, her armour making screeching noises as she continued to tap her foot on the floor.
''Do you have a significant other? Is there a man... or a woman out there, that has caught the attention of the great Commander Shepard.'' She asked and the audience hushed each other, everyone sitting up a little straighter than before and involuntarily Shepard's eyes flickered over to the man in question.
''Err….''
''Come now Commander, don't be shy.'' The host pressed and Shepard chewed on her bottom lip, her body unnaturally stiff and still as she struggled to formulate a response.
''There is someone… but, it's far too soon for nonsense like romance. We have a universe to save, all that can come later when we've done what we need to do.'' She said and her gaze once again flickered over to him, her hand coming up to pull at her short curly locks and she coughed into her hand to hide her embarrassment.
''What are they like?'' the host asked and Shepard frowned.
''I hardly see the po-''
''Humour us, Commander.''
Shepard could strangle this woman quite fucking cheerfully.
''He's… kind, thoughtful… the embodiment of justice, of all that is good and right in the world. He is strong and courageous… and he could kick anyone's ass in a matter of moments. '' Shepard smiles and a slight blush caresses her cheek as she clears her throat, ''but as I said, the timing is all wrong and there could and will be many obstacles in the way so it's best to forget about it for now.''
''Oh no commander, you can't do that. I'm sure my viewers would be supportive and help you and your man. Isn't that right folks?'' she asked the crowd and they cheered and applauded.
Kaidan rocked back and forth on his heels, a slight smirk on his face.
Garrus stayed still, staring at her… hardly daring to breathe, his mandibles fluttering lightly against his face.
''I'm sure that we will find out anyway one day wont we? I mean, you hate it when people touch you but surely your significant other will be allowed those privileges?,'' she snickered and Shepard cursed silently.
''That's all for tonight folks, join us next time when we will be discussing what it's like for an Asari to bond with a Krogan, leaving everything she knows and loves-behind- to go and live on Tuchanka. Thank you for joining us… Goodnight!'' the host says and waves her hands as the camera cuts out and the lights dim back down to non-blinding levels.
Shepard breathes a sigh of relief and stalks off the set. Kaidan approaches her with an outstretched hand, a wicked smile on his face, smugness oozes off of him in waves and Shepard becomes vaguely nauseous at the sight. She sides steps him again, his hand clutching air and she turns her head around to watch the smile slip from his face and she falters in her steps as momentary guilt seeps into her gut.
Well… at least that's one way of rejecting someone without actually saying anything.
She rubs her forehead with the back of her hand; the bright lights of the set having made beads of sweat appear on her head.
''Move it Alenko... I need to get out of here. Pronto.'' She barked over her shoulder, assuming her no-nonsense tone of voice and she felt more than saw him snap to attention behind her.
''Vakarian.'' She nodded at him as she walked to him and he bent his head forward in imitation of her.
A single moment of awkwardness washed through the air between them and she shrugged it off, straightening her shoulders and marching past him…only to get her foot caught in one of the stage lights cables and she saw the ground rushing up to meet her face.
She closed her eyes instinctively, prepared for the humiliation and the pain that will come from a full frontal floor assault.
But it never came.
A strong, armoured arm caught her around the waist and she heard a grunt as her body fell with all her weight over it, she was hauled back up, only to lean backwards, her hand reaching out automatically to seek purchase. She grabbed on to something leathery but soft and she was slammed against a hard chest – coming face to face with Garrus.
Her eyes rushed to meet his blue ones and she sucked in a sharp breath as her nails dug into the back of his neck, his arm tightened around her waist. His breath puffed out over her face and she shivered as the scent of spice and gun oil permeated her nose and she breathed in deeply. Shepard can't recall if they stood like that for a moment, minutes or longer but when she snapped to her senses, her soul , her heart thumping inside of her as his eyes continued to roam over her face, she moved away from his slowly, the hand on his neck lowering down over his armour as she pushed gently away from him.
His arm released her along with a sigh of his own, before he too came to his senses.
''C-Commander... I... I…'' he shut his eyes, fully expecting to next open them to the white walls of a hospital.
Instead he cracked open an eye, peering at her through a heavy lid and blinked them both open. His commander had a hand behind her ear, her arm and elbow coming across her face, hiding half of it from view and his brow plates shot up in shock.
''Don't worry about it Vakarian.'' He heard her mutter and he trilled in disbelief as the hosts words popped into his now oxygen deprived brain.
'I'm sure that we will find out anyway one day wont we? I mean, you hate it when people touch you but surely your significant other will be allowed those privileges?'
''Oh crap.'' He stated in awe as he watched her walk away, her armoured back glinting in the door way as she shut it behind her.