Double trouble
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "Oh come right in. Don't let the fact that my door is closed dissuade you in any way from entering my office".
****
Oh yes, it's some random Todd Fan insanity! Haven't done one of these for a while. Actually, the start of this fic was resting in my documents for a while. I just never cared to finish it, until today! Thaks to my good friend Mel, who gave me a title when i couldn't think of one. So do enjoy, lots of fun!!!!
****
"Everybody sing!. Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me!", rang a VERY high pitched voice though the Brotherhood house.
Lance groaned and looked at his clock, the red light flashed 3:00.
"Oh dear God, it's too early!", he said, stuffing his head under his pillow, "shut up. Please, shut up!".
It was at that point that the door burst open and a very hyper Pietro entered.
"Well?, were is it?", he demanded, putting his hands on his hips.
"Where's what?", said Lance, looking at him groggilly.
"My Birthday present!".
"Pietro, it's three in the moring, you're not getting squat until the day starts properly".
"You forgot again didn't you?", said Pietro, sniffling, "you guys always forget!".
"I didn't forget Pietro", muttered Lance, "if you HAVE to have your present now, it's in the top drawer of my dresser. Get it then please, GO AWAY!".
"Thanks buddy", said Pietro.
There was a gust of wind and a nano-second later Pietro was by Lance's bed again.
"What is this?", he asked, holding up a jewerly box, "is that supposed to be funny?".
"That's Wanda's present", said Lance with a sigh.
"Wanda?. Why'd you get HER anything?".
"I don't know, maybe because it's her birthday too. But i don't see HER waking me up at three in the morning, do you?".
"Yeah well....", said Pietro, "she doesn't celebrate as much as i do!".
"Whoooooooooooooo!".
"Or maybe not", said Pietro as Wanda ran into Lance's room
She imidiately went into his top drawer and emerged with a book.
"Hey that's not...", started Lance, sitting bolt upright.
It was too late, Wanda flicked a page open and blinked. She gave a shout of disgust and threw the book to the ground. Every lightbulb in Lance's room smashed.
"What is the big idea getting me that..that...THING!", demanded Wanda, pointing to the book on the floor, "it's..terrible!".
"It's Pietro's", said Lance, holding up his hands defensively then pointing to the jewerly box, "this is yours".
"Ohh..okay then", said Wanda, grabbing the box and leaving the room.
"A 'thank you' would have been nice", muttered Lance.
Pietro meanwhile had scooped up his book. He opened it and a grin spread across his face.
"Well helloooooooo", he said to the book, walking out still looking at it, "aren't YOU a naughty girl?".
"You're both very welcome", said Lance saracstically, "i mean, it wasn't TOO much trouble going through all my savings to buy those things. Besides, i'm made of money, really...and now i'm talking to myself".
He groaned and lay back down, hoping to get some sleep before dawn. No such luck. He sighed as he heard the twins burst into Freddy's room demanding gifts. It was going to be a long, long day.
The twins emerged from Freddy's room triumpantly. Pietro held a racecar, while Wanda held a book of spells. They both stopped outside to Todd's room and looked at each other.
"Me first!", shouted Wanda, "he'll of got me something really good!".
"No, he likes me more!", said Pietro.
"No he doesn't!", snapped Wanda.
"Let's ask him then", said Pietro, barging into Todd 's room.
Todd sat up in his bed with a jolt as the door banged open.
"Whatzat?!", he said, drowzily blinking, then saw the twins, "Geez, it's three in the mornin', yo".
Pietro ran over to Todd.
"Who do you like best, me or Wanda?", he asked, crossing his arms.
"He likes ME best", said Wanda, walking over to Todd and trailing a finger along his chin, "don't you Todd?".
"Hey!. That's bribing!", shouted Pietro.
"Sorry Pietro, but if i had ta pick between you an' your sister, Wanda would win hands down", said Todd, "your presents are in the drawer".
Wanda blew a raspberry at Pietro then walked off to the drawer, only to have her brother tackle her to the ground, leaping over her to open the drawer first.
"The WHOLE series of Baywatch on DVD!!!!", he shouted trumpantly, "Toad, you are my GOD!".
"That's.....kinda disturbing, Pie", said Todd sighing, before watching carefully as Wanda opened her gift, "hope you like it Poopsie".
"Don't call me Poopsie", said Wanda, getting the final wrapping off, and opening a small box.
Inside was a beautifull celtic-style pentagram, with small rubies on each point.
"Wow.....", she said, "it's..beautifull". Thank you Todd this is...".
"IT MUST HAVE COST A FORTUNE!", said Pietro, "why you spending more on her than me?!!!".
"Because i don't love you", said Todd blandly, "YOU love you, remember?".
"Oh..yeah", said Pietro, "hey i'm gonna call father!!!".
With that he flipped his cell-phone on. He refused point-blank to use the Boarding house phone. He said there were too many germs on it. He swiftly dialed a number and tapped his foot impatiently.
"Come on, come on!!!", he said,
"Pietro, it's rung ONCE", pointed out Wanda.
Pietro was about to answer when a groggy noise came from the other end.
"PIOTR! Goooooood morning!", said Pietro cheerfully, "what do you mean, 'it's not morning yet'?. Is father awake?....could you wake him?".
Pietro paused, listening intently.
"Well if YOU'RE afraid to go in, send Sabertooth, he doesn't scare easily", he said, "...oh...he's eating mice in the basement...lovely. Well Pyro, he's too insane to get scared....you're more afraid to go into his room than Magneto's?. Well, you're alot of use aren't you?! Get Gambit on the phone".
Pietro drummed his fingers on the table.
"Hired help, pathetic!", he said, to Todd and Wanda, who were watching him blankly, "i swear if father didn't need...HI GAMBIT!. What do you mean 'do i know what time it is'?, of COURSE i do! Can you wake up...oh he's already up. What's that? He doesn't look too happy?. Well he SHOULD be happy, it's his only son's birthday!".
Pietro paused and there was the muffled sound of French on the other end, then the sound of something breaking.
"Hi father", said Pietro happily, "so when are you coming over with my present, huh huh?...what do you mean two o'clock? That's HOURS away!!!! But...but...dad? Dad are you there?".
Pietro gave the phone a glare.
"He hung up on me!!!".
"What a shock", murmered Wanda, "i'm going back to bed".
And off she went.
"Well i'm waiting for dad to show up!", said Pietro.
"Can ya wait OUTSIDE my room please?", asked Todd, "i wanna go to sleep!".
Pietro gave Todd a GLARE before storming out, complaining that he was the most under-appriacated person on the planet. Woe was him.
*****
The hours had passed unbearbly slowly for Pietro....which meant the other occupants of the Brotherhood boarding house suffered terribly. So much, in fact, they almost shouted with joy when Magneto arrived with the Acolytes.
"PRESENTS!", shouted Pietro happily, tackling his father, who side-steped his son.
"Calm down, Pietro, honestly!", he said Magneto, handing him a box, "you're not exactly a youngster anymore!!!".
"I wanna see, i wanna see!!!!", said Pietro, then lit up as Piotr pushed a HUGE cake into the house, "oh man, oh man, i have the BEST dad, EVER!".
"It was Gambit's idea", said Remy as he walked in, "dis is Gambit's gift".
Pietro very almost hugged Gambit, but stopped when the Cajun cleared his throat.
"TA DAAAAA!".
Nothing happened. Remy tried again.
"TA DAAAAAAAA!!!!".
Still nothing. Remy blinked and walked over to the cake, opening the top, peering inside. He scrunched his face up and put the lid back on.
"John?", he said calmly.
"Yeeeeep?!", said Pyro, where he was cheerfully setting fire to the curtains.
"When you baked the cake...", said Remy slowly, "...you did put the girl in AFTER you baked...didn't you?".
"No before", said Pyro, then blinked, "oh.....my bad".
Pyro gave a shug before caryring on what he was doing, humming happily to himself. Magneto blinked....quite a few times. Before shaking his head, no, no he didn't want to know. He smiled handing Pietro a box.
"There, where's your sister?", he asked, only to have the other box he was holding get snatched from him as the girl in question passed, "...okay then".
Both twins ripped open their gifts. Pietro getting a melted....metal....thing, Wanda getting something in a similar melted condtion.
"Oh, that's two bads for me now", said Pyro, "...sorry, i got bored".
Both twins glared at the Austrailian, who didn't seem at all phased by the fact he had baked a girl alive and melted two birthday presents.....and had burned the front room curtains into ashes.
"I dislike you", said Pietro, "you are a horrible, horrible, physco!".
"Yep, i am!", siad Pyro....was he PROUD of being worthy of being put into a mental institution?
"Well....they WERE nice gifts", said Magneto with a sigh, "bad John! I'm confiscating your lighter AND your flamethrowers".
John looked at Magneto as if he had been shot. What did HE do?. He yelped as he ducked a hex-bolt thrown by an angry Wanda as she stormed upstairs, slamming her door soon after.
"Well...this sucks", said Sabertooth.
"....Is anybody gonna eat that cake?", asked Freddy.
Piotr looked at him, open-mouthed.
"There is a corpse in there!!!", he said, "a charred, burnt, baked corpse!".
"You can eat around that", said Freddy, "no point in waisting good cake!".
Piotr paled and pushed the cake forward.
"Please...eat it away from me".
Freddy smiled, picking up the cake and walking off the the ktichen.Sabertooth in hot persuit.
"I'll have the nasty bits!", he said.
"Well...this is the suckiest birthday that ever did suck!", said Pietro, "i'm going upstairs!
He followed his sisters lead, storming upstairs and slamming his door.
"Like the good old times", said Magneto dryly, "come, Acolytes, let us leave this sordid house of depression and angst".
"Can i sit in shotgun?", asked Pyro.
"You are being strapped to the roof, you thorn in my side", muttered Magneto, "this is why Jason 'conviniently' disapeared. He KNEW something like this would happen!".
"How would he know it was going to happen?", said Remy, "he just didn't want to come. You know W-A-N-D-A?".
"I can spell, you idiot!", came Wanda's voice form upstairs.
"Lets just leave, right now", said Mganeto, bustling the Acolytes, minus Sabertooth, who was eating with Freddy, out of the house. This left Lance and Todd standing alone.
"Remind me again why we joined this place", said Todd.
"Because no one else will have us", said Lance, "plus, anywhere else, we'd have to pay for entertainment like that"
"God bless insanity", said Todd, "wanna play with Pietro's new racecar?".
Lance thought for a minute.
"Yeah, why not?".
With that, they both left the room, leaving it empty. There was a small giggle and Mastermind became visable, holing a video-camera in his hands.
"Man, Candid Camera is gonna pay me a fortune for this!".
END
****
How was that for some random insanity? The cake 'incident' was inspired by 'Addams Family Values', one of my favorite scenes ;) So do review. Hope you enjoyed it :)
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "Oh come right in. Don't let the fact that my door is closed dissuade you in any way from entering my office".
****
Oh yes, it's some random Todd Fan insanity! Haven't done one of these for a while. Actually, the start of this fic was resting in my documents for a while. I just never cared to finish it, until today! Thaks to my good friend Mel, who gave me a title when i couldn't think of one. So do enjoy, lots of fun!!!!
****
"Everybody sing!. Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me!", rang a VERY high pitched voice though the Brotherhood house.
Lance groaned and looked at his clock, the red light flashed 3:00.
"Oh dear God, it's too early!", he said, stuffing his head under his pillow, "shut up. Please, shut up!".
It was at that point that the door burst open and a very hyper Pietro entered.
"Well?, were is it?", he demanded, putting his hands on his hips.
"Where's what?", said Lance, looking at him groggilly.
"My Birthday present!".
"Pietro, it's three in the moring, you're not getting squat until the day starts properly".
"You forgot again didn't you?", said Pietro, sniffling, "you guys always forget!".
"I didn't forget Pietro", muttered Lance, "if you HAVE to have your present now, it's in the top drawer of my dresser. Get it then please, GO AWAY!".
"Thanks buddy", said Pietro.
There was a gust of wind and a nano-second later Pietro was by Lance's bed again.
"What is this?", he asked, holding up a jewerly box, "is that supposed to be funny?".
"That's Wanda's present", said Lance with a sigh.
"Wanda?. Why'd you get HER anything?".
"I don't know, maybe because it's her birthday too. But i don't see HER waking me up at three in the morning, do you?".
"Yeah well....", said Pietro, "she doesn't celebrate as much as i do!".
"Whoooooooooooooo!".
"Or maybe not", said Pietro as Wanda ran into Lance's room
She imidiately went into his top drawer and emerged with a book.
"Hey that's not...", started Lance, sitting bolt upright.
It was too late, Wanda flicked a page open and blinked. She gave a shout of disgust and threw the book to the ground. Every lightbulb in Lance's room smashed.
"What is the big idea getting me that..that...THING!", demanded Wanda, pointing to the book on the floor, "it's..terrible!".
"It's Pietro's", said Lance, holding up his hands defensively then pointing to the jewerly box, "this is yours".
"Ohh..okay then", said Wanda, grabbing the box and leaving the room.
"A 'thank you' would have been nice", muttered Lance.
Pietro meanwhile had scooped up his book. He opened it and a grin spread across his face.
"Well helloooooooo", he said to the book, walking out still looking at it, "aren't YOU a naughty girl?".
"You're both very welcome", said Lance saracstically, "i mean, it wasn't TOO much trouble going through all my savings to buy those things. Besides, i'm made of money, really...and now i'm talking to myself".
He groaned and lay back down, hoping to get some sleep before dawn. No such luck. He sighed as he heard the twins burst into Freddy's room demanding gifts. It was going to be a long, long day.
The twins emerged from Freddy's room triumpantly. Pietro held a racecar, while Wanda held a book of spells. They both stopped outside to Todd's room and looked at each other.
"Me first!", shouted Wanda, "he'll of got me something really good!".
"No, he likes me more!", said Pietro.
"No he doesn't!", snapped Wanda.
"Let's ask him then", said Pietro, barging into Todd 's room.
Todd sat up in his bed with a jolt as the door banged open.
"Whatzat?!", he said, drowzily blinking, then saw the twins, "Geez, it's three in the mornin', yo".
Pietro ran over to Todd.
"Who do you like best, me or Wanda?", he asked, crossing his arms.
"He likes ME best", said Wanda, walking over to Todd and trailing a finger along his chin, "don't you Todd?".
"Hey!. That's bribing!", shouted Pietro.
"Sorry Pietro, but if i had ta pick between you an' your sister, Wanda would win hands down", said Todd, "your presents are in the drawer".
Wanda blew a raspberry at Pietro then walked off to the drawer, only to have her brother tackle her to the ground, leaping over her to open the drawer first.
"The WHOLE series of Baywatch on DVD!!!!", he shouted trumpantly, "Toad, you are my GOD!".
"That's.....kinda disturbing, Pie", said Todd sighing, before watching carefully as Wanda opened her gift, "hope you like it Poopsie".
"Don't call me Poopsie", said Wanda, getting the final wrapping off, and opening a small box.
Inside was a beautifull celtic-style pentagram, with small rubies on each point.
"Wow.....", she said, "it's..beautifull". Thank you Todd this is...".
"IT MUST HAVE COST A FORTUNE!", said Pietro, "why you spending more on her than me?!!!".
"Because i don't love you", said Todd blandly, "YOU love you, remember?".
"Oh..yeah", said Pietro, "hey i'm gonna call father!!!".
With that he flipped his cell-phone on. He refused point-blank to use the Boarding house phone. He said there were too many germs on it. He swiftly dialed a number and tapped his foot impatiently.
"Come on, come on!!!", he said,
"Pietro, it's rung ONCE", pointed out Wanda.
Pietro was about to answer when a groggy noise came from the other end.
"PIOTR! Goooooood morning!", said Pietro cheerfully, "what do you mean, 'it's not morning yet'?. Is father awake?....could you wake him?".
Pietro paused, listening intently.
"Well if YOU'RE afraid to go in, send Sabertooth, he doesn't scare easily", he said, "...oh...he's eating mice in the basement...lovely. Well Pyro, he's too insane to get scared....you're more afraid to go into his room than Magneto's?. Well, you're alot of use aren't you?! Get Gambit on the phone".
Pietro drummed his fingers on the table.
"Hired help, pathetic!", he said, to Todd and Wanda, who were watching him blankly, "i swear if father didn't need...HI GAMBIT!. What do you mean 'do i know what time it is'?, of COURSE i do! Can you wake up...oh he's already up. What's that? He doesn't look too happy?. Well he SHOULD be happy, it's his only son's birthday!".
Pietro paused and there was the muffled sound of French on the other end, then the sound of something breaking.
"Hi father", said Pietro happily, "so when are you coming over with my present, huh huh?...what do you mean two o'clock? That's HOURS away!!!! But...but...dad? Dad are you there?".
Pietro gave the phone a glare.
"He hung up on me!!!".
"What a shock", murmered Wanda, "i'm going back to bed".
And off she went.
"Well i'm waiting for dad to show up!", said Pietro.
"Can ya wait OUTSIDE my room please?", asked Todd, "i wanna go to sleep!".
Pietro gave Todd a GLARE before storming out, complaining that he was the most under-appriacated person on the planet. Woe was him.
*****
The hours had passed unbearbly slowly for Pietro....which meant the other occupants of the Brotherhood boarding house suffered terribly. So much, in fact, they almost shouted with joy when Magneto arrived with the Acolytes.
"PRESENTS!", shouted Pietro happily, tackling his father, who side-steped his son.
"Calm down, Pietro, honestly!", he said Magneto, handing him a box, "you're not exactly a youngster anymore!!!".
"I wanna see, i wanna see!!!!", said Pietro, then lit up as Piotr pushed a HUGE cake into the house, "oh man, oh man, i have the BEST dad, EVER!".
"It was Gambit's idea", said Remy as he walked in, "dis is Gambit's gift".
Pietro very almost hugged Gambit, but stopped when the Cajun cleared his throat.
"TA DAAAAA!".
Nothing happened. Remy tried again.
"TA DAAAAAAAA!!!!".
Still nothing. Remy blinked and walked over to the cake, opening the top, peering inside. He scrunched his face up and put the lid back on.
"John?", he said calmly.
"Yeeeeep?!", said Pyro, where he was cheerfully setting fire to the curtains.
"When you baked the cake...", said Remy slowly, "...you did put the girl in AFTER you baked...didn't you?".
"No before", said Pyro, then blinked, "oh.....my bad".
Pyro gave a shug before caryring on what he was doing, humming happily to himself. Magneto blinked....quite a few times. Before shaking his head, no, no he didn't want to know. He smiled handing Pietro a box.
"There, where's your sister?", he asked, only to have the other box he was holding get snatched from him as the girl in question passed, "...okay then".
Both twins ripped open their gifts. Pietro getting a melted....metal....thing, Wanda getting something in a similar melted condtion.
"Oh, that's two bads for me now", said Pyro, "...sorry, i got bored".
Both twins glared at the Austrailian, who didn't seem at all phased by the fact he had baked a girl alive and melted two birthday presents.....and had burned the front room curtains into ashes.
"I dislike you", said Pietro, "you are a horrible, horrible, physco!".
"Yep, i am!", siad Pyro....was he PROUD of being worthy of being put into a mental institution?
"Well....they WERE nice gifts", said Magneto with a sigh, "bad John! I'm confiscating your lighter AND your flamethrowers".
John looked at Magneto as if he had been shot. What did HE do?. He yelped as he ducked a hex-bolt thrown by an angry Wanda as she stormed upstairs, slamming her door soon after.
"Well...this sucks", said Sabertooth.
"....Is anybody gonna eat that cake?", asked Freddy.
Piotr looked at him, open-mouthed.
"There is a corpse in there!!!", he said, "a charred, burnt, baked corpse!".
"You can eat around that", said Freddy, "no point in waisting good cake!".
Piotr paled and pushed the cake forward.
"Please...eat it away from me".
Freddy smiled, picking up the cake and walking off the the ktichen.Sabertooth in hot persuit.
"I'll have the nasty bits!", he said.
"Well...this is the suckiest birthday that ever did suck!", said Pietro, "i'm going upstairs!
He followed his sisters lead, storming upstairs and slamming his door.
"Like the good old times", said Magneto dryly, "come, Acolytes, let us leave this sordid house of depression and angst".
"Can i sit in shotgun?", asked Pyro.
"You are being strapped to the roof, you thorn in my side", muttered Magneto, "this is why Jason 'conviniently' disapeared. He KNEW something like this would happen!".
"How would he know it was going to happen?", said Remy, "he just didn't want to come. You know W-A-N-D-A?".
"I can spell, you idiot!", came Wanda's voice form upstairs.
"Lets just leave, right now", said Mganeto, bustling the Acolytes, minus Sabertooth, who was eating with Freddy, out of the house. This left Lance and Todd standing alone.
"Remind me again why we joined this place", said Todd.
"Because no one else will have us", said Lance, "plus, anywhere else, we'd have to pay for entertainment like that"
"God bless insanity", said Todd, "wanna play with Pietro's new racecar?".
Lance thought for a minute.
"Yeah, why not?".
With that, they both left the room, leaving it empty. There was a small giggle and Mastermind became visable, holing a video-camera in his hands.
"Man, Candid Camera is gonna pay me a fortune for this!".
END
****
How was that for some random insanity? The cake 'incident' was inspired by 'Addams Family Values', one of my favorite scenes ;) So do review. Hope you enjoyed it :)