No More Running
Author's Note: This is my first ever Nishikada Sojiro/Matsuoka Yuki fanfic from the live action Japanese drama, Hana Yori Dango. It takes place after the events of the Hana Yori Dango movie, but before Yuki sees Sojiro at his book signing. I tried to get everyone in character, so I hope you like it!
Disclaimer: Hana Yori Dango is property of Yoko Kamio and TBS. I own nothing!
"This is really delicious," Domyoji Tsukushi squealed as she dug into her hamburger. She and her best friend Matsuoka Yuki were at their favorite burger place, Longboard Cafe, designed to look like an old-fashioned surf shop.
Yuki nodded happily. "It is! Isn't it nice to just sit and relax?" she took a french fry from her box and popped it into her mouth.
They'd both been so busy since Tsukushi had gotten married that they hadn't been able to come to that restaurant in a few months; Tsukushi was tied up taking her make-up courses and exams to graduate after missing school while searching for the Smile of Venus, while Yuki spent her free time outside of the Dango shop apartment hunting.
"I know! Now that you're all settled into your apartment, Yuki, your evenings and week-ends will be a lot less stressful!"
Yuki took a sip of her soda and smiled. "Yep." Her smile turned into a half-frown as she asked, "Speaking of weekends, Tsukushi, what did you do? You left work early on Friday."
Tsukushi laughed in embarrassment. "Domyoji surprised me with a trip to the hot springs in the mountains."
Yuki grinned mischievously. "That sounds romantic."
Tsukushi blushed. "Well, it was, but he just sprung it on me that morning." She put on a face to imitate her husband. "'Oi! Make time for me after three o'clock today,'" she quoted what he'd said to her the Friday before. She put on a cocky grin. "'Don't be late, or I'll kick your ass.'" She snorted. "That husband of mine."
"I'm so jealous, Tsukushi!" Yuki leaned forward, brown eyes shining. "Your loving husband surprises you with a whirlwind romantic getaway, just the two of you! How lucky can you get?" She bit her lip wistfully. "I wish I could go to a hot spring sometime soon."
Tsukushi leaned forward and burst out, "Oh, you should have come, Yuki! I feel bad, but I thought it was just going to be the two of us! But he brought the other guys along, too. Well, I guess to be fair, he was pretty mad about it. They just tagged along. If I'd known that it was going to be a big party, we could've had you, too." She found herself grinning as she remembered the hi jinks from the weekend. "It was fun, though, to have them along. It's hard not to have a good time with Hanazawa Rui, Nishikado-san, and Mimazaki-san."
Yuki's smile faded. "Nishikado-san went to the mountains, huh?"
Tsukushi saw her friend's sad look. "Yuki?"
"D-did he charm all the girls at the resort?" Yuki asked, eyes cast down to her lap.
Tsukushi thought for a moment. "No... actually he didn't flirt with a single girl while we were there. We all just hung out and played games, and went for walks through the woods together." Come to think of it, Tsukushi hadn't seen him entertaining women at all when she'd gone out with Tsukasa and the other members of the F4 in the past few months. Was he just maturing, or was it for some other reason?
Yuki's voice broke her train of thoughts. "It doesn't matter, why am I even asking?" She shook her head, seeming depressed. "I've decided to give up on him anyways."
Tsukushi started. This was the first she had ever heard of Yuki giving up on Sojiro. They'd remained good friends throughout their college years; even now with Sojiro taking over his families' tea ceremony school and writing a book, he still helped Yuki move into her new apartment. "Why, Yuki? Have you met someone else?"
Yuki scoffed and shook her head. "No. I've never met anyone else. Not during University... nowhere. I even tried for awhile to actively pursue other guys, but they were all jerks." She sighed and bit her lip. "But I have to give up on him. If he was interested in me, he would have done something by now." Yuki absentmindedly picked at her hamburger bun. "Nishikado-san is way too cool and sophisticated to ever fall for me. Besides, after Sara-san, he's probably completely given up on the idea of love."
"Falling in love is irrational. Even just by falling in love with someone, you'll hurt people, and you'll get hurt yourself." Sojiro's words from so many years ago rang in her ears.
Tsukushi reached across the table and squeezed her friend's hand, trying to comfort her. Seeing the tears welling in Yuki's eyes, Tsukushi pursed her lips and briskly changed the subject, asking Yuki about her weekend. After awhile, Yuki brightened and mentioned that she might go back to school to study business, discussing Okami-san's Dango shop and how much they both enjoyed working there. Yuki shared that she was thinking of opening her own store someday. As Yuki talked, Tsukushi found herself mulling over the situation with Sojiro as she absentmindedly played with her straw. She'd always hoped, someday, that Yuki and Sojiro would end up together. Sojiro certainly appeared as if he cared a great deal about Yuki, and Tsukushi personally thought it went deeper than friendship. However, Yuki brought up an excellent point. If Sojiro did like Yuki, why hadn't he told her how he felt? Wasn't it obvious to him how much Yuki liked him? I guess he really is just a playboy after all...
"I'm home," Tsukushi called into the spacious hallway as she shut the front door behind her.
Two warm arms suddenly wrapped around her from behind and she dropped her keys in surprise. "Hey!"
"Wel-come ho-ome," Tsukasa sang out with a laugh, swaying her in his arms with each syllable and kissing her cheek.
Tsukushi blushed and laughed, gripping his hands. "What are you doing?" she asked with a giggle, pretending to be indignant.
"I just got out of a meeting and am done working for the day, so I'm happy that you're back so we can spend all afternoon together." Tsukasa relinquished his hold on her and pulled her through the double doors into the sitting room. They both sank to the couch.
"How did the meeting go?" Tsukushi asked, pulling her wristwatch off and setting it down on the coffee table before turning to face him.
Tsukasa's shoulders sagged, trying to conceal his emotions before grinning. "It went perfectly! We were able to close the deal smoothly, and it should open a lot new jobs for people."
"Really?" Tsukushi heaved a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness! Congratulations!" She hugged him tight.
When they pulled apart he asked, "How was your lunch with Yuki?"
Tsukushi's smile faded. "Actually I wanted to talk to you about that. Yuki seemed a little bit sad."
"Eh?"
"I mentioned that you and I went to the hot springs resort with Mimasaka-san, Hanazawa Rui, and Nishikado-san without thinking. She said she wants to give up on Nishikado-san. I know she's been busy these past few years with college and then trying to figure out what she wants to do career-wise, so she's put her feelings for him on the back burner... but they've remained close, and her feelings haven't changed."
Tsukasa listened, frowning slightly.
Tsukushi shrugged. "But if he doesn't feel anything, she can't force it. I just... I don't know what to do for her. She's my friend, and I hate to see her hurting, but if Nishikado-san liked Yuki, he would have done something by now, right? So it's useless for her to just keep waiting and hoping."
"Maybe not."
Tsukushi looked at him in surprise.
Tsukasa adjusted himself on the couch and began, "You remember how he was with Sara, right?" Seeing her nod, he continued, "That's how Sojiro is with girls he legitimately cares for. He acts all tough and confident, but inside he's scared. He will never make his feelings clear; he'll treat the girl he loves like she means nothing to him. That's why Sara gave up so easily after he didn't go to see her on Valentine's Day."
Tsukushi's eyes widened as she remembered the story she'd heard several years ago about Sojiro's childhood friend, Sara. He loved her, but thought that she was in love with his older brother. He'd distanced himself from her, but she came back into his life his third year of high school. When she asked him to meet her at six in the morning on Valentine's Day, though, he didn't go, convinced that she'd just wanted to meet him to reject him. They never saw each other until a year later, when Sara no longer was in love with him.
Tsukasa leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. "If she had even the slightest belief that he loved her back, I'm sure she wouldn't have given up so easily. They'd been friends since they were little–you'd think she would have been able to see his true feelings better than any other girl, right? But when she put herself out there, Sojiro acted all cool and sophisticated like he could care less, and Sara couldn't see through it." He shook his head and sighed. "That idiot," he whispered.
Tsukushi's eyes widened as she realized that she'd just heard those words from Yuki herself.
"Nishikado-san is way too cool and sophisticated to ever fall for me."
Tsukasa sighed and looked at his wife. "That's how Sojiro's always been. So straight arrow when it comes to other people, but never himself."
Tsukushi knit her brow. "You mean straightforward, right?"
Tsukasa paused in surprise, then laughed exuberantly. "Of course the arrow is going straight," he glanced at her and then looked away, still chuckling. "Are you dumb?"
Tsukushi hid her smile. His Japanese is his true weak point. Her eyes widened as she remembered how Sojiro had encouraged her to face her feelings for Tsukasa head-on. "You only get one chance in a lifetime."
"Anyways, Sojiro faces everything head-on in life, except love." Tsukasa's eyes locked with Tsukushi as he said his next words. "Didn't Yuki tell you any time they're really clicking, and she thinks something might happen," Tsukasa snapped his fingers and made a buzzing noise, "He suddenly takes off like that?"
Tsukushi bit her lip and nodded. "Yeah."
"Sojiro wouldn't keep hanging out with her if he thought she wanted a romantic relationship and he only wanted to be her friend," Tsukasa put his arm on the back of the couch behind Tsukushi and turned to face her. "He'd put on the cold face that he uses when he wants to ditch the girls he's picked up at bars, and tell her she's got the wrong idea about him." Tsukasa furrowed his brow. "I know they're friends, but Sojiro would make it clear that she had no chance. I bet you anything that Sojiro isn't running because he doesn't have feelings for her. He's running because he does."
Tsukushi's eyes widened as she processed Tsukasa's brilliant deduction. It made no sense given Sojiro's usual confident and laid-back demeanor, but when taking what happened with Sara into account... "No way."
Tsukasa nodded and raised his eyebrows with a cocky grin. "It's true."
Tsukushi clasped her hands in excitement. "Then he and Yuki-chan have a chance... but..." she gazed warily at her husband. "What if you're wrong?"
Tsukasa shook his head confidently, that irritating yet loveable grin still plastered on his face. "The almighty me is never wrong!"
Tsukushi gave him a skeptical glance, but said nothing. If she started to list all of the times he'd been wrong, starting with the slip-ups of his native tongue, they'd be sitting on that couch for the next two months. "Well, I don't want to get Yuki-chan's hopes up in case Nishikado-san never confronts this," she stammered.
Tsukasa patted her on the shoulder and chuckled. "Don't worry, don't worry, just leave it to me."
Though still a bit wary, Tsukushi was very touched that Tsukasa wanted to help her best friend out like this. She knew she shouldn't be surprised by now. He was always showing how much he cared about her and her friends and family. She leaned her head on his shoulder and snuggled closer to him on the leather couch. "Thank you," she whispered, smiling up at him.
Tsukasa grinned, wrapping his arms around her as he said, "A man shouldn't suppress his true feelings for so long, or he'll live to regret it."
She gently tugged on his shirt, bringing his lips down to meet hers, causing his ears to turn pink with embarrassment.
A few days later, Tsukasa and Tsukushi held a small dinner party for the F4 at their house.
"This is delicious, Makino," Akira declared, taking a large bite of the curry Tsukushi had prepared. All of the F4 still referred to her by her maiden name even though she'd been married to Tsukasa for almost a year.
Tsukushi ducked her head. "Thank you, Mimasaka-san."
Tsukasa grinned. "Of course it's delicious. My sweat honey made it."
Rui laughed. "There he goes again."
"Sojiro," Akira began, turning to his friend, "Have you decided on a date for the grand opening of the tea ceremony school in Hokkaido?"
Sojiro finished chewing and swallowed. "There's still a long way to go on that yet. Opening a new business takes a lot of time."
Tsukasa glanced at Tsukushi, then looked at Sojiro. He had that smile plastered on his face that suggested he thought himself a genius. Tsukushi held her breath.
"Speaking of businesses, Makino said that Yuki might be interested in opening one."
Sojiro's eyes widened at the mention of Yuki's name. He smiled to himself, thinking of the determined young woman who stood up for Tsukushi countless times. She was very smart and resourceful, and he knew she would make an excellent businesswoman. "That's great," he said softly.
Tsukushi watched him carefully, feeling hopeful.
"Oh, speaking of Yuki-chan... Makino, how is she liking her new apartment?" Akira asked, leaning forward in his chair.
Tsukushi smiled. "She's happy there. She told me she still has some things to get, but she loves the location, and she said she has some really nice neighbors."
"Oh, that's right. One of them came by when we helped her move her stuff, didn't he, Sojiro?" Akira asked.
Sojiro's grip on his chopsticks tightened, and his eyes unfocused. "Yeah."
Akira frowned at his friend's reaction. They soon changed the subject, but Sojiro barely spoke at all during the rest of the meal.
Once they'd finished eating they all gravitated to the spacious living room, settling themselves in the comfortable leather armchairs.
While they laughed and talked, Tsukasa fixed each of his friends a drink from the large bar. Tsukushi watched each member of the F4 as she sipped her Oolong tea.
Rui leaned back, his long limbs overtaking the chair. He listened intently to a story Akira was telling about his little sisters and laughed.
She turned her gaze to Akira, who took a large sip of his drink after he finished the tale of how his twin sisters had once tried to dye their poodle pink with food coloring.
She giggled and glanced over at Sojiro, who was hunched over, staring absently into his glass. She shared a look with Tsukasa, who was slapping his thigh laughing at the thought of the almost-pink poodle. H stared at her in confusion when he caught her eye, but then he looked at Sojiro when she nodded discreetly towards him. Tsukasa glanced back at her and winked.
"Hey, Rui, do you want to see the garden Makino's been working on?" Tsukasa said, rising to his feet.
Rui looked puzzled. "At night...?" His eyes met Tsukasa's and he saw him trying to gesture discreetly for him to follow. "Oh, yeah, sure." Rui set down his glass and stood up.
Tsukasa grinned exuberantly and walked over to Akira, kicking him in the shins. "You too, Akira."
"Ow!" Akira caught Rui's eye and got the message. "Okay, I'll go look at the garden... in the dark..." he furrowed his brow as he said the words.
"The grounds are lit, it's fine," Tsukasa assured them. Rui hid a smile.
"Oi, Soj–" Akira stopped mid-word when Tsukasa smacked him quickly in the chest. "Ow." He glared at Tsukasa and mouthed, "What's going on?"
Tsukushi watched Tsukasa put his arms around his two friends and lead them out of the room, whispering to them quietly. She glanced at Sojiro, who didn't even seem to notice that everyone else had left. She sighed. Tsukasa had said to let him handle it, but after talking it over, they decided it would be better if they both brought the subject up to Sojiro.
Unaware of Tsukushi's stares, Sojiro stared into the flames in the fireplace hearth, recalling an event that happened just a few weeks before...
"Yuki-chan, would you like the futon over here?" Akira called, maneuvering towards the west wall and dragging Sojiro, who was holding the other end of the futon.
Yuki set down her various bags in the doorway and hurried over to them. "Um, I think I'd like it on the other wall, if that's okay."
Akira frowned. "But I think it would look nicer over here."
"Hey, hey," Sojiro broke in. "This is Yuki-chan's place. We'll put it where she wants it."
"Okay," Akira agreed with a sigh, pivoting and inching towards the opposite wall.
Sojiro caught Yuki's eye and smiled.
Once they set the futon on the ground, Yuki rushed over to them. "Thank you so much, Mimasaka-san, Nishikado-san." she bowed to both of them and smiled. "I know you both are really busy, so I'm very happy that you took the time to help me move in. I'm sorry I can't offer you guys anything to eat or drink right now." She glanced at the kitchen, a mess of boxes and bags.
Sojiro and Akira sank side by side on the futon. Sojiro chuckled. "Forget about that. Helping you is no problem, Yuki-chan. You've been working really hard, too. Why don't we all take a break for now?" he patted the free spot next to him on the futon.
Yuki grinned and nodded. "Okay."
As she sat, her arm brushed his, and Sojiro's heart beat sped up. He suddenly felt uncomfortable, yet didn't want to move his arm away.
"Oh, excuse me." Yuki said, scooting over slightly.
Sojiro furrowed his brow. Why did he feel disappointed?
"So, Yuki-chan, how are you going to decorate this place?" Akira leaned over Sojiro to look at Yuki.
Yuki bit her lip and laughed. "I don't know yet. Maybe I'll make some curtains for the windows," she mused.
"Curtains would be great, right Sojiro?" Akira asked him with a nudge.
Sojiro tore his eyes away from the girl sitting so close to him to glance distractedly around. "Oh... yeah." he mumbled.
A knock on the door sounded. Yuki leapt to her feet to answer it. Sojiro's eyes widened when the door opened to reveal a tall man around their age.
The man bowed. "Good afternoon, Yuki-san."
Yuki's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh, Hihara-san!"
Hihara smiled. "It's been a long time, right?"
"Who is this guy?" Akira mumbled to Sojiro.
Sojiro studied the familiar way the two were talking. Hihara leaned against the door frame while they chatted, Yuki laughing several times at the things he said. He couldn't make out any of the words, however, because his ears suddenly began to ring. Sojiro set his jaw when Hihara reached behind his back and produced a small package to hand to Yuki, who appeared flustered as she took it. "Beats me," he mumbled with a shrug, but his eyes narrowed when Yuki invited him inside.
"No, I'm afraid I can't stay. But I'm so glad we're going to be neighbors, Yuki-san. This will give us a chance to get to know each other even better," Hihara said with a grin.
"Oh, yeah, great," Yuki replied with a small smile. "Well, see you later then."
Hihara hesitated before bowing with a smile and leaving.
"An old friend of yours?" Sojiro found himself asking as she shut the door and locked it. His chest felt tight, like it held a lead weight.
Yuki gazed down at the small package in her hands. "Yeah, Hihara-san went to University with me. I guess he's my neighbor now."
Akira watched her with keen interest. "What's in the box?"
Yuki set it on the counter top and began to unwrap it. "A housewarming present." She gasped softly and took out a small traditional Japanese tea pot. "Oh, wow, it's beautiful!" she breathed, turning to show the two men.
Sojiro involuntarily gripped his knee.
"That's really nice, Yuki-chan!" Akira exclaimed, taking the tea pot when Yuki offered it to him. He nudged Sojiro. "Right, Sojiro?"
Sojiro found himself glaring at the blue and white tea pot, glancing absently at Yuki before looking away. "Yeah."
"Nishikado-san?"
The voice broke Sojiro from his reverie. He looked away from the fireplace to see Tsukushi peering at him in concern. "Hm?"
"Would–would you like me to freshen your drink for you?"
Sojiro glanced at his half-empty glass and shook his head. "No thank you."
Tsukushi began nervously clasping and unclasping her hands as she rose from her chair. "So, how have you been?" she asked as if she hadn't just seen him over the week-end.
Sojiro shrugged, shaking his drink slightly and watching the ice rattle in the bottom of the glass. "Busy, with the new book tour coming up." He couldn't stop thinking about how cozy that Hihara was with Yuki.
"Oh, yeah, that's right–you mentioned that at the hot springs," Tsukushi laughed a little too energetically, then chided herself. She was just as bad at this as Tsukasa. "Ah, Yuki was so jealous when I mentioned we all went to the resort. If I'd known it wasn't just going to be Domyoji and me, I would've invited her." She watched him carefully. "That would have been fun, right?"
His mind started to wander again at the mention of Yuki. He smiled to himself as he remembered teaching her how to ski when they all went to the mountains a few years back. Her cheeks pink from the cold, the snow getting stuck in her long, dark hair...
"Nishikado-san?"
He looked startled. "Eh?"
Tsukushi laughed hesitantly. "Um, it would have been fun to have Yuki along, right?"
Sojiro stared at her for a moment, then realized she meant at the hot springs. "Oh! Yeah. It's always fun when Yuki-chan is with us." He remembered the nice, warm feeling he got when he wrapped his arms around Yuki to help her hold the ski poles properly. Suddenly an image of Yuki squealing over the tea pot invaded his thoughts. He felt that uncomfortable pain settling in his chest again.
Tsukasa strode back into the room, nodding and giving Tsukushi the thumbs up. Luckily Sojiro had his back to him and didn't see it. Tsukasa plopped into the armchair next to Sojiro. "So, Sojiro, have you been on any hot dates lately?"
Sojiro glanced at him and scrunched his nose in annoyance. "What are you so excited for?"
Tsukasa continued to grin. "Nothing, nothing. So, have you?"
Sojiro squirmed uncomfortably in the plush armchair. "Not really. You know I'm not much for dating."
Tsukasa shoved him playfully. "Oh, come on. Don't you want to be like the almighty me and have a great love destiny?"
Sojiro furrowed his brow. "'Great love destiny...?' Huh?"
Tsukushi walked over to her husband and put her hands on his shoulders from behind. "I don't think that's actually a thing, Domyoji."
Tsukasa scoffed with his signature idiotic smile. "Of course it is. You and I were destined for each other, and we have a great love," he grinned to himself at the thought. "You dummy." He turned his attention back to Sojiro. "So, don't you?"
Tsukushi shook her head. She worried that Tsukasa was coming on too strong.
Sojiro turned his head with a disgruntled noise. "What are you even talking about? You know what I think about love." He glanced at Tsukasa and his wife in turn and shrugged. "No offense."
Tsukushi took a deep breath and spoke up. "I know you say you don't have time for love, Nishikado-san, but I think the truth is that you'd rather run away from it."
Sojiro sat up straight. "What?"
She took a deep breath and hoped what she was about to say wasn't betraying her friend. "You know Yuki-chan has feelings for you, don't you?"
Tsukushi's words felt like a punch in the gut to Sojiro. "What?" His ears began to ring, heart pounding faster in his chest and palms beginning to sweat. But even though he'd heard her clearly, he wouldn't let himself believe it. He thought of the countless times Yuki had challenged him when he'd told her about Tsukasa's feelings and the Domyoji financial situation. She was never afraid to tell him how she felt, or how stubborn he and his friends were being. Yet she could be so caring to him at times, too, trying to help him be with Sara when she found out about his unresolved feelings for her. She didn't act at all like girls who were interested in him did.
Sojiro felt himself scoff. He was sure Yuki didn't like him–she liked Hihara. He remembered how that guy had leaned against the door frame to Yuki's apartment, then Yuki's smiling face as she opened the box he'd given her. Sojiro had the sudden urge to march right into her apartment and smash that stupid tea pot. He tried to put on a disinterested expression. "Don't joke around. Yuki-chan doesn't like me that way."
Tsukasa and Tsukushi glanced at each other. Tsukushi said slowly, "No, she does. She's had feelings for you for since your third year of high school!"
Sojiro furrowed his brow and stared at her in disbelief.
Tsukasa looked at Tsukushi and shrugged. "I told you he's obvious when it comes to love."
Tsukushi rolled her eyes and leaned down to poke him in the shoulder. "Oblivious."
Sojiro thought carefully to when he'd helped Yuki get even with her jerky ex-boyfriend. She had paid a lot of attention to him for a couple weeks, but after the New Year she appeared to just think of him as a friend. If she'd liked him, why would she have tried to reunite him with Sara? If he'd gotten together with Sara, then Yuki never would have had a chance with him...
Tsukushi continued tentatively, "And, the thing is... I can't help but wonder if you have feelings for Yuki, too."
Sojiro's eyes widened, and he looked down at his shoes. He refused to let his face redden. He didn't like that Tsukushi seemed to be reading his mind. He really hated talking about his feelings. Why did people have to analyze things so much? Why were his friends butting into his business?
"I mean, you spend so much time with Yuki, and you treat her really well, much better than any other girl I've ever seen you with at a club."
Sojiro frowned at the inference that he'd treated any of his lady friends poorly.
Tsukushi smiled softly. "Yuki has told me of all the times you took care of her, and all the moments, good and bad, that you've shared." Then she looked Sojiro straight in the eye. "But any time you two seemed to really connect, and Yuki was so sure something would happen, you ran away from her. Why?"
Sojiro felt a sharp stab of guilt at her words.
"Nishikado-san, would you take me for a ride on your bike?"
He felt hollow as he remembered how he'd driven away from her. True, he didn't have an extra helmet, but, still... Was Yuki-chan hurt when I did that? Did she feel like I did when Sara told me that she was getting married? He suddenly felt horrible and idiotic.
He didn't like feeling either of those things.
"You want to know what I think?" Tsukushi went on, emboldened by the fact that Sojiro wasn't arguing. "I think you run away from her because you're afraid. You feel something real for her, and it scares you. You were hurt by someone when you were very young, and that stuck with you. Isn't that why you've never had a serious relationship?"
Sojiro felt like he was under some kind of microscope, and it pissed him off. "Listen..."
"Do you still have feelings for Sara-san?"
Sojiro stared at Tsukushi, startled. What happened with Sara on Valentine's Day still made him feel stupid even after five years, but he no longer felt like he couldn't bear to be without her. "No," he answered honestly.
Tsukushi glanced at her husband, whose eyes reflected a look of triumph. She felt hopeful. "Well, if you don't still love Sara-san, then I think that maybe the reason you haven't been entertaining girls at clubs recently, and have never had a real relationship, is because you're already in love with someone." She bit her lip and stammered, "A-and I can't help but wonder if that person is Yuki."
Sojiro felt his face flush, and he slammed his drink on the end table in annoyance.
Tsukasa chose that moment to add his two cents' worth. "It's not just Makino and me, Sojiro. Both Akira and Rui think you've got a soft spot for her, too."
Tsukushi inhaled sharply. She wasn't sure that was the best thing Tsukasa could have said.
Sure enough, Sojiro set his jaw and went on the defensive. "You've been talking to Akira and Rui about this, too? Man, you guys." His regret and confusion were replaced by anger. He stood up and began to storm out of the room.
"Wait, wait!" Tsukushi leapt in front of him, and Tsukasa rose to his feet to try to calm him.
"Sojiro, we're just trying to help!" Tsukasa said, putting his hands on his friend's shoulders.
"Help?" Sojiro hissed, ripping himself out of Tsukasa's grip. He glared at Tsukasa and Tsukushi in turn. "Here's a way you can help. Stay the hell out of my personal life! Just because you're so lovey-dovey with your damned perfect marriage doesn't mean we all want to have that, okay?"
"Listen, you–" Tsukasa bristled, irked that Sojiro make snide comments about his marriage, which, in his opinion, was perfect. Tsukushi put her hand on her husband's arm to calm him.
"Whatever," Sojiro muttered, turning on his heel and walking away from them.
"Nishikado-san!" Tsukushi called after him.
Something in the tone of her voice made him stop.
"I-I know you've always tried to make yourself out to be a playboy, but after I got to know you, I realized it isn't because you don't care about love. It's because you care too much."
His back still to her, he wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. Who did she think she was to pick apart his feelings like this?
Tsukushi's words spilled out faster and faster. "You didn't become a playboy until after your first year of high school, when you thought Sara could never love you back. You decided to try to turn off your feelings and act like women were just a game to you. But you were so afraid of showing your feelings, you never confessed to Sara that you loved her. And even when she asked you out on Valentine's Day, instead of going to meet her, you chose to run away."
Everything she said was true, and that just made him angrier. "So what?" he mumbled, casting a glance over his shoulder.
Tsukasa took a step forward. "Listen, Sojiro. We both just want to help you. We're not trying to spray sugar in the rub."
"Rub salt in the wound, Domyoji," Tsukushi whispered to him, shaking her head at his mangled expressions.
Tsukasa looked embarrassed, but then laughed and nodded with his usual stupid grin. "A real man knows what I mean."
Sojiro furrowed his brow as he fully turned and faced Tsukasa.
Tsukushi looked chagrined. "I'm sorry to bring all this up, Nishikado-san, it's just... You ran from Sara-san, someone you really loved, more than once," she added, thinking of when he'd left the tea circle when he heard Sara worked there. "And didn't have the courage to go after her until it was too late. And I began to wonder... if you're running from Yuki for the same reason."
Sojiro shoved his hands in his pockets and turned his head away slightly, yet still listening.
"If you can look me in the eye and tell me that you don't have feelings for Yuki, I'll drop the subject and never bring it up again." Tsukushi glanced at Tsukasa before going on. "I love Yuki. I don't want her heart to break over and over again. If you say you don't feel anything for her, I'll do my best to make sure she moves on."
Sojiro was silent, the impact of her words hitting him head-on. "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't have feelings for Yuki."
Unbidden, memories of all the times he'd spent with Yuki began to flood Sojiro's mind.
"Thank you, Yuki-chan. I feel like this has changed something inside of me."
"Nishikado-san, are you good at skiing?"
"And for you to tell me there's nothing we can do about it... Tsukushi's feelings aren't something he can play with forever!"
"I must look like an idiot."
"That's not true!"
He began to lift his eyes towards Tsukushi, the lying words, 'I don't' forming on his lips. So what if he loved Yuki? Despite Tsukushi's claims, there was no way she loved him, and he wasn't about to put himself through all of that heart ache.
"Sojiro, if you love her and don't let her know now, some other guy is going to come along, and it will be too late." Tsukasa said fiercely, causing Sojiro's blood to freeze.
Visions of Hihara and Yuki, alone, together, slammed into him. Yuki laughing by his side. The two of them sharing moonlit walks. What if Yuki married him? He remembered something he'd said to Yuki in regards to what had happened with Sara. He curled his hands into fists so hard that his knuckles turned white.
"If you truly believe you love someone, but you can't take that next step..."
As Sojiro's eyes locked with Tsukushi's, he knew he couldn't lie anymore. To her, or to himself. "I... I can't tell you that. Because..."
Her smiling face flashed through his mind.
"Because..." The bittersweet ache that had always been in his chest whenever he was around Yuki became almost unbearable, like it always did whenever the mood got serious between them; when he looked into her shining eyes.
"Nishikado-san!"
"Because you're right. I do." he said softly, dropping his gaze to the floor, shoulders sagging with the weight of his confession.
Tsukushi shared a happy surprise with Tsukasa, whose face broke into a grin. She inhaled sharply to try to restrain her own giddiness. She nodded at her friend. "Then don't run anymore, Nishikado-san." She came over to him and lifted her pointer finger in front of his face. "You only get one chance in a lifetime." She poked him gently in the forehead with a laugh. "Right?"
One side of Sojiro's mouth lifted slightly as she repeated his own words to him. He nodded.
Tsukasa came over to Sojiro and clapped him on the back. "Don't worry, Sojiro. We're all rooting for you. Love may be terrifying to confront, but it's all worth it when your dreams come true." he shared a look with Tsukushi, who blushed and nodded happily.
Sojiro exhaled sharply, uncurling his fists as he sank into an armchair. "Man, I'm just no good with girls. I know what I want, I just can't..."
Tsukasa shoved his hands in his pockets and approached the fireplace. "Maybe what you need..." he began, turning to face Sojiro, "is a grand caricature."
"What?" Tsukushi cocked her head, truly baffled by his words.
Sojiro frowned. "...You mean a grand gesture?"
Tsukasa turned away quickly, laughing like an idiot. "Uh–yeah, that's what I said, stupid."
"I'm stupid?" Sojiro mumbled under his breath.
"Don't worry about a grand gesture, Nishikado-san," Tsukushi said quickly, "Yuki would be thrilled if you just met with her and told her how you feel."
"Makino, don't interfere in the affairs of men," Tsukasa declared with a toss of his curly hair.
Sojiro tuned them both out, thinking hard as he leaned forward and clasped his hands together. A grand gesture? His first thought was of Sara's declaration of love; showing him two signs by the Tokyo Tower that, when blocked by the morning sun, said "I love you, Jiro." Those memories melted into a vision of Yuki's breathless face.
"I'm so glad you came!"
"I know it's none of my business, but I had to make sure you see this, no matter what!" "She called you 'Jiro,' right?"
Yuki had searched for days to show Sojiro what the girl he'd once loved had planned for him, to prove he was worth loving. If she really had been in love with him at the time, that just made Sojiro all the more amazed by Yuki. She was beautiful. She was kind. She was selfless. Yuki had done so much for Sojiro, and he never showed her how much he appreciated it. He never showed her how much he truly loved...
"All right!" Sojiro slammed his hands down on the coffee table and stood up, grabbing his jacket off of the hook by the door and striding away.
"Ni-Nishikado-san...?" Tsukushi bustled forward to follow him, but Tsukasa appeared by her side and put his arm around her.
"Oi, Sojiro!" he called after him. When Sojiro turned back expectantly, Tsukasa tapped his right fist to his chest and pointed at him.
Sojiro broke into a grin and mimicked the gesture.
Tsukushi looked at Tsukasa and smiled, then watched as Sojiro strode away. Good luck, Nishikado-san.
"Hey, Sojiro," Akira said, hands in his pockets as he and Rui slowed their steps near the front walk. Their little tour of the garden had turned into a full-blown walk on the grounds as they waited for Tsukasa's text message telling them it was safe to go back inside. He'd filled them in on their plan, and Akira was all too happy to help out.
Sojiro turned and smiled at his two friends, but didn't slow his stride. Rui and Akira approached him as he got on his motorcycle.
"Where are you off to in such a hurry?" Akira asked, hoping it was good news. Based on the way he was walking, he didn't appear agitated; rather he looked excited.
Sojiro quickly slid on his riding gloves and donned his helmet. "I'm going to make a grand gesture."
Akira thought of how tense Sojiro had gotten when Hihara showed up at Yuki's doorstep, and felt himself smile. He always knew Sojiro cared about Yuki.
Akira shared a look with Rui, who grinned and said, "Good luck, Sojiro."
Sojiro nodded, revving his motorcycle before taking off.
"Who am I making this out to?" Sojiro asked the young woman who held out her copy of his book to sign. It had been a few days since his talk with Tsukasa and Tsukushi, and he'd been planning his surprise for Yuki every waking minute he wasn't busy with work. It took him awhile to think of a "grand gesture" that would impress Yuki, but at the same time wasn't over the top. He wanted to prove to her that he genuinely cared, and apologize for doing nothing about it. It had been hard, but he was confident that he'd decided on just the right way to show her. Once he was done with the book signing at Starbucks, he planned to call Yuki and ask her to make time for him that evening.
Though he had everything planned to the last detail, thinking about meeting Yuki later still made his stomach clench. He sighed and tried to focus on his work. Don't be so tense. Exude charm and charisma, he chided himself, having been a bit subdued with the first few women in line. He knew his agent wouldn't like that. He dipped his brush in the ink and carefully signed the young woman's book.
"Thank you very much, Sir!" she said with a smile, taking the book he handed her.
"Thank you," he replied, taking her hand as if to shake it and instead placing a kiss on it. She blushed and ran away giggling. He smiled after her. That ought to make his agent happy.
Sojiro turned his attention back to the next person in line. The young woman was holding the book up so he couldn't see her face.
His eyes widened when the book lowered to reveal none other than Yuki. Siting up straighter, he stared at her, heart hammering in his chest. Time seemed to stop, there was suddenly no one else in the room except him and Yuki. He hadn't expected her to come to his signing. All his nerves exploded inside him at once, his mind racing.
"Hi," Yuki greeted him with a grin.
After a long moment of simply staring at her, mouth agape like an imbecile, Sojiro's face broke into a smile.
Yuki's heart did a funny leap in her chest. That was the first time she'd ever seen a smile like that on Sojiro. It seemed to go all the way to his soulful dark eyes, lighting his whole face up. Was she the reason for that smile?
Sojiro couldn't find the ability to speak, feeling very flustered and shy all of a sudden, emotions he was definitely not accustomed to. Why couldn't he just say 'hi' back? Why was it suddenly impossible for him to talk to her? When she handed him the book, he pressed his lips together and carefully took it from her.
"Long time no see," she said with a smile.
Trying to keep his cool, Sojiro set down her book on the table, intending on writing her a heartfelt message that was just for her. Hands shaking, he thought wildly that maybe he could even write a suave note that said something like "Meet me outside your apartment at six tonight." He looked down at the book, then glanced up at Yuki, making the mistake of looking into those big brown eyes of hers.
What he did next was the only thing he knew how to. He carefully stood up, walked around the table, pushed past his fans...
And ran.
"Huh?" Yuki turned to see him disappearing in a throng of people. "Nishikado-san?"
Sojiro pushed through the doors of Starbucks, hearing his name being called as his legs pumped harder and faster.
"Falling in love is irrational. Even just by falling in love with someone, you'll hurt people, and you'll get hurt yourself."
"To be truly in love with someone, you have to be ready to put your life at risk."
"It's true that she's changed something inside of me..."
Why had he been lying to himself for so long? Did he think that love was something that waited around forever? Had he not learned his lesson with Sara? He realized now that he'd been in love with Yuki for years.
"Don't run anymore, Nishikado-san. You only get one chance in a lifetime."
The rain made the streets slick and his hair damp as he ran, trying to stay unnoticed by going the opposite way of the women standing in line. That's right. I can't keep running. I'm sorry for doing this to you, Yuki-chan, but I swear this is the last time I'll ever run from you. Because if I run from you again... there's a chance you might not follow.
His mind tormented him yet again with an image of her and another man.
Just–just please follow me this time. He heard her calling after him, and he grinned to himself as he rounded the corner. He now knew why he literally ran from Yuki. It was because when he looked into her sparkling brown eyes, he felt such an unfamiliar adrenaline rush that he had the overpowering urge to kiss her... but running was much easier than taking that next step. It was childish, so unbecoming of the sophisticated Nishikado Sojiro, but it had always been much easier for him to do that than confront his feelings.
He hoped this time, however, that running from her was going to end in joy rather than tears.
Because he was going to let her catch him.
He rounded the corner and pulled out his cell phone. He knew his agent was going to kill him, running out in the middle of an important event that so many fans had shown up for, but when he'd looked up at Yuki's shining face, he knew his surprise couldn't wait any longer.
Yuki slowed her steps when she reached the end of the street, looking around in frustration. In her haste to catch up with him, she'd forgotten her umbrella, and her long brown hair was soaked. "Nishikado-san... why did he run away from me? I just wanted to get a signed copy of his book..." She recalled all the fun times they'd spent together, how kind he'd been carrying boxes into her apartment for her. Did he not even think of her as a friend anymore? His smiling face from just moments ago flashed through her mind. For just one second, she thought maybe Sojiro felt the same way about her. She truly was an idiot. She felt tears pricking her eyes, and she glumly turned around, giving up her chase.
The revving of a motorcycle stopped her in her tracks.
Yuki found herself following the sound, knowing that she was getting her hopes up for nothing. Lots of people besides Sojiro had motorcycles...
As she turned the corner, she gasped. Directly in front of her, at the end of the short block, was a young man astride a motorcycle, looking at her. She felt her heart stop for a moment, and wiped at her blurred eyes to make sure she wasn't imagining things.
Yes. Sojiro was on his motorcycle, the visor to his helmet up as he watched her. "I'm sorry, Yuki-chan," he said, bringing his hands together apologetically for a moment before resting them on the handles once more. "You probably thought I ran from you because I didn't want to see you." He shook his head and chuckled self-consciously. "I'm just no good with amazing girls like you..." he mumbled.
Breathless, Yuki began to walk slowly towards him. "Nishikado-san..." she began in confusion. Had he been waiting for her? Then why had he... "I–I don't..."
Sojiro held up a spare motorcycle helmet. She stared at him in amazement. "Yuki-chan, would you like to go for a ride with me?"
Her eyes widened. She couldn't speak, couldn't move. Was she dreaming?
"This seat has always been reserved for a special girl," Sojiro went on, patting the place behind him on the motorcycle before bravely looking her square in the eye, "And I think it's about time that she took it."
Yuki stared at him in shock, slowly realizing that he meant her. She nodded, still staring and feeling stupid. She took the helmet from him breathlessly, then glanced down at the book she was still holding, the cover a bit damp from the rain. "B-but what about your signing?"
"I called my agent while I was waiting for you to catch up to me, and asked him to apologize to everyone and re-schedule." He broke into a smile. "I have something much more important to do."
Yuki felt herself smile, and her tears evaporated. She quickly wiped off his book with her sleeve and put it in her purse, then donned the helmet. She nervously approached the motorcycle, tentatively placing her hands on his shoulders as she swung her leg over.
Sojiro glanced at her over his shoulder. "Hold on tight. We've got a little ways to go."
Yuki carefully snaked her arms around his waist and clasped her hands together right below his chest. She smiled to herself, liking the way it felt to have her arms around him. "Where are we going?"
Sojiro grinned as he lowered his visor. "You'll see." He revved the motorcycle, and they were off. Yuki emitted a tiny squeal and tightened her hold on Sojiro as the bike picked up speed. After a few minutes she relaxed and glanced around, looking at the scenery streaking by. The rain only seemed to enhance everything around her, drops glistening off of lighted street signs and cars, the grey skies mixed with the setting sun casting an ethereal glow. It was unlike anything she'd ever felt before-the wind in her hair and the sensation that she was flying.
When Sojiro turned a corner, his entire body tilted to the side, and Yuki squeezed her eyes shut and held on tighter. It was so thrilling, yet terrifying at the same time. Nishikado-san does this every day... she smiled to herself, glancing at his face from behind. He's incredible.
The scenery began to change from tall city buildings to small shops and houses, until at last the scent of the sea reached her. She closed her eyes and inhaled. She'd always loved the beach.
Soon Sojiro pulled into a parking space directly in front of the sea shore. Yuki bit her lip as she reluctantly relinquished her hold on Sojiro and undid the strap to her helmet. She carefully swung her leg over and got off the motorcycle, pulling her helmet off and feeling the sea air on her face. It felt strange to stand again, somehow.
Sojiro stood as well, shaking his hair when he removed his own helmet. He found himself smiling shyly at Yuki as he took her helmet from her and set it on his bike.
"Why don't you take Yuki-chan for a ride to the beach?" Tsukushi's suggestion from five years prior flashed in Sojiro's mind. I guess you're just full of good advice, aren't you, Makino? "Did you like it?" he asked.
Yuki laughed breathlessly. "It was incredible!" she fussed with her wet hair, hoping it looked all right. She bowed. "Thank you very much for taking me."
"The best is yet to come," Sojiro said, reaching for her hand. "Let's go!" he broke into a run and pulled her across the parking lot, towards the steps that led to the beach.
Yuki laughed, wondering what he was up to, her heart beating faster and faster.
As their steps began to slow when their feet hit the resistance of sand, Sojiro pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed. When they picked up, he said quietly. "It's me. Have it ready please."
Yuki stared at him in confusion. What was that about?
Sojiro stopped just before the shoreline. He smiled at Yuki and relinquished her hand, turning his back to her. She tried not to be disappointed that he wasn't holding her hand anymore.
He sighed, knowing what he wanted to say, but unsure of how to start. He also had to make sure that the timing was just right. "Um, Yuki-chan..." he began, still facing away from her, "How have you been?"
"Um..." Yuki began, furrowing her brow at his sudden attempt at small talk, "I've been pretty good, Nishikado-san..."
Sojiro turned to face her. "How's work?"
Yuki frowned slightly, sensing that Sojiro was uncomfortable but didn't understand why. "Well, you know, never a dull day around Okami-san," she said with a laugh.
Sojiro smiled, still nervous. "You haven't taken a tea ceremony class in awhile," he noted, a sad tone in his voice.
"Oh, well, with work and my new place, I was too busy," Yuki said, leaving out the fact that she'd started to feel discouraged amidst his many fan girls.
Sojiro nodded, then heaved a sigh. "Yuki-chan, I need to be honest with you, but I'm having trouble saying it." He stared earnestly into her eyes. "So please hear me out."
"Nishikado-san?"
"The thing is, I don't just want to see you a couple times a month, and have to catch up. Makino tells me you're thinking of studying business?"
Yuki nodded silently, her long brown hair whipping in the wind.
"That's amazing, Yuki-chan. From now on, I want to be able to hear things about you directly from you, not from our friends." When she cocked her head in confusion, he let out a frustrated breath. "I'm sick of wasting time and pretending it doesn't matter, when it does. It matters a lot."
"What matters...?" she asked breathlessly, eyes wide and unblinking.
Sojiro stared silently as he struggled to find the right words, but then noticed her sopping wet hair clinging to her teal pea coat, and his eyes widened. The rain had stopped, but night had fallen, and the cold sea wind was hitting them both. "Yuki-chan, I'm so sorry, you must be freezing." Despite her protests he shrugged off his suit jacket and came over to her, draping it over her shoulders.
Yuki clutched his jacket tightly around herself. "T-thank you, Nishikado-san."
Sojiro stepped away from her, awkwardly shoving his hands in his pockets. "You only get one chance at happiness. But you can't just stand by after that happiness has walked into your life and let it slip away." He turned and looked at her, dark eyes serious. "That's what I've been doing, Yuki-chan. Meeting you stirred something in me that I was afraid to face." He sighed. "I've really been an idiot."
Yuki couldn't believe what he was saying. Did that mean...? "Nishikado-san..."
Sojiro smiled. "So, I decided to follow Tsukasa's advice and make my feelings clear with a grand caricature."
"Eh?"
He laughed. "Never mind." A sound reached his ears, and he knew it was time. He came over and stood beside her. "See for yourself."
Sojiro pointed to the distant waves, and Yuki squinted as a boat came closer and closer. It was a small yacht with bright lights on the rail. Soon she was able to make out the words, and her knees buckled.
Yuki turned to Sojiro, eyes wide with disbelief. The lights spelled out the words, "I love you, Yuki-chan," in bright, multi-colored letters. "N-Nishikado-san... I can't believe it..."
Just as she whispered those words, beams of light shot up into the air from the ship. Yuki gasped as beautiful fireworks unfurled in the sky like vibrant flowers in full bloom. "It's so beautiful!" she said, a smile lighting up her face.
Sojiro exhaled slowly, grateful that his surprise went off without a hitch. "I had to make sure that you were here with me to see it; I couldn't take the chance of you missing it."
Yuki felt like she couldn't breathe. "I-Is this a dream?"
Suddenly two warm arms wrapped around her from behind. The fireworks lighting up the sky in front of her plus Sojiro holding her were enough to make Yuki feel like she was going to pass out.
"It's no dream," Sojiro whispered in her ear, tightening his arms around her. "I love you, Yuki-chan. I'm sorry I never admitted it to myself before." He leaned his head against hers. "But I won't run, ever again."
Yuki's heart melted and she felt tears spring to her eyes. "N-Nishikado-san..."
Sojiro took a deep breath and gently turned her around in his arms. "Man, I am no good with things like this," he said shakily. "I don't even think I could face the thought if you don't, but I guess it's important that I ask, huh?" He put his hands on her shoulders and gazed into her eyes, unsure of her answer. "That is to say, Yuki-chan ...do you love me, too?"
Yuki's tears spilled over, and she let out a tiny gasp. "Of course I love you! I love you so much, Nishikado-san."
Sojiro grinned and pulled her into his arms, sighing with relief as he stroked her hair. He finally did it. He got the girl he loved. She wrapped her arms tightly around him and closed her eyes. "Thank you, Nishikado-san," she whispered happily.
Sojiro leaned back to look at her. "I think it's about time you started calling me Sojiro," he said seriously.
Yuki grinned and nodded. "Sojiro-kun..."
Sojiro's face broke into a wide smile. "Yuki-chan." He cupped her cheeks in his hands and pulled her into a deep kiss as the fireworks lit the night sky.
The End
Author's Note: I hope everyone liked it! I really like Yuki and Sojiro in HYD, and was annoyed that he always ran from her. Upon re-watching it, though, I realized that it's not because Sojiro doesn't like her–that's just his MO with girls that he really likes, like Sara. Especially in the movie, when he sees that it's her at his signing, he genuinely has a look of love in his eyes, but then kind of smiles playfully and takes off. It's obvious that it's his way of teasing her, but he's not actually trying to give her the slip. (Especially since in the movie we see that she's been taking his tea classes, so it's not exactly like they're not still close.) I hope I did a good job with Tsukasa's mangled expressions! I obviously couldn't make ones in Japanese, so I tried my best. Anyways, yay Yuki x Sojiro!