Me: Hai!

Choco-Neko-Chan: Omigod...a story..OMGZ! IT'S ALICE! THE INSANITY!

Me: -_- Yeah, Alice belongs in an asylum.

Choco-Neko-Chan: x3

Me: Anyway... Go easy on this story. It's really old. I had to go back and re-do the story somewhat. Alice was older than Edwin, Ed was still an alchemist and had both automail, the humuncli returned, and stuff like that. ...But...THEN THE END OF THE BOOK HAPPENED! D: *Sigh* At least Hiromu Arakawa made them have two kids, one boy and one girl. If not I would've been like: "Screw it! *Throws down pencil and runs away*" But, okay, the names... NO! I didn't give him then name "Edwin" as in Ed x Winry. I thought of the name "Alice" and I had "Al" in it. So being the comedian I am (*cough* Not *cough cough*) I said "Hey! I'll give him a name that says "Ed" in it." And I didn't realize later until I was watching AMVs on Youtube that said "EdWin" and I said "Omigods! I'm so LAME!"

Choco-Neko-Chan: You've been writing this since last school year right?

Me: Yeah...but it takes a while to think of a new plot when homunculi can't come back without Father. -_- Whom the "Truth" sent back into the Gate. And...Omigosh! I'm so full of spoilers.

Choco-Neko-Chan: That one sentence spoiled a lot for me. ._.

Me: ANYWAY! BEFORE I SPOIL MORE! All credit and characters belong to Hiromu Arakawa (who I love so much :D) expect Alice and Edwin...cause I made them up! :D

"Where is he…? Dad, oh, Dad where have you gone?" I muttered as I looked around.

"Alice, what're you doing?" A voice asked.

"Ah! Dude, Edwin…shut up. I'm working on something." I smirked.

"Oh no…this is one of your diabolical plots to play a prank on Dad again isn't it?" He sighed.

"Yes! This is revenge for not letting me wear the red coat, and giving me a pink one instead and he knows I hate pink!" I whispered.

"But…the red coat's locked away in his closet…plus…that's a really stupid reason to seek revenge." Edwin said.

"So! I wanted to wear it! Unlike I'd usually do I asked him… I knew I should've picked the lock." I sighed.

I noticed movement from the corner of my eye, it was Dad, and revenge here I come. I grabbed Edwin, pulled him to the floor, and covered his mouth.

"Now zip, because if you talk I'll twist this and blame the whole thing on you." I demanded.

He looked at me and nodded. I grabbed the scissors and held them up to the rope.

"How'd you set all this up anyway?" Edwin whispered.

"That's simple. Alchemy." I smiled.

"What!" Edwin demanded as his voice grew louder.

"Sssh!" I insisted.

My dad, Edward Elric, walked up the path toward the house. I had to time it just right to make sure it hit him. A large bucket hung there, and in this bucket was milk…which my dad hated I do too but it was fun to dump on his head.

"Ha, sucker!" I exclaimed and cut the rope.

The milk dumped on his head, and I saw his arms start flailing. "Alice Elric!" I heard him scream.

"Heh, heh, time to make a break for it." I smirked and ran out the back door.

I heard a loud crashing sound from inside the house as he was stampeding through it. Crap…he knew where I'd head to. He slammed open the door, I was in for it.

"What the hell was that all about!" He demanded.

"Revenge!" I screamed from the back of the yard.

"The thing with the coat?" He asked.

I nodded.. Then someone jumped from behind the house, "Roar!" He yelled.

I jumped and fell over, I pretended to pass out, ya know, just to make a scene.

"Stupid we know you're faking." Edwin said coming out the back door.

I sat up, "Evil!" I snickered.

Edwin smiled, "Hi Uncle Al,"

"Hey buddy," Al said grabbing Edwin and messing with his hair.

My mom, Winry Elric or Rockbell, whatever, walked out back to water the plants; she set down the watering pail and bent down to check the flowers.

She paused, "Hi Al,"

"Winry, your daughter's in trouble." Dad said glaring at me.

"She's your daughter too, Edward." She smirked.

"But she listens to you more!" He demanded

Mom sighed and glared at him, "Face it, she doesn't listen to either of us." I

grinned, "What, so I'm supposed to stand here and be insulted?"

Dad nodded.

"What! Jerk!" I yelled.

"Hey now, hey now, I'm not gonna stand here and be insulted." Dad grinned.

"But...I was...so...now...um..." I stuttered.

"Dad can twist your mind too, where do you think you go it from?" Edwin laughed.

"Well fine then, I'll just go inside and do nothing." I said starting to walk off.

"Ah! You're still in trouble ya little delinquent." Dad said.

Crap...he wasn't supposed to remember that was part of the word twisting.

Mom walked inside and shut the door...she didn't want to hear yelling was the reason.

"Inside...now!" Dad yelled.

I moaned and stomped inside.

"You can't wear the coat if I let you wear it; your bother will wanna wear it too!" He yelled.

"But he doesn't want to wear the red coat!" I yelled.

"Oh..." He sighed, "He wants to wear the brownish one." I snickered.

Dad growled and sighed.

"Listen you guys aren't wearing those clothes kay?" He asked.

I moaned, "Fine!" I then stomped upstairs. Then there was a bang at the door, I had to know who it was so...I slid down the railing back down stairs. It was some guy from the military...scary looking too.

"Mustang?" Dad demanded. Mustang? Who...

"Fullmetal, the military needs your assistants." He said.

"I don't know if you're aware but I'm not an alchemist anymore!" Dad yelled.

"Yes and you are no longer the Fullmetal Alchemist but we can still use you." The man said. Fullmetal Alchemist? That sounds like a State Alchemist code name.

"You were a state alchemist?" I screeched.

The Mustang guy glared at Dad, "You haven't even told your kids!"

"Don't yell at me!" Dad demanded.

I paused, "Wait…I thought you said you lost your alchemy when you were 17…" I muttered.

"I did!" Dad insisted.

"Your father is the youngest state alchemist in history." Mustang said. "Edward, we need your alchemic knowledge and possibly your kids to help out the military."

I was horrified, what had Dad not told us? What was he hiding! Uncle Al and Edwin walked in from the back yard.

"Mustang?" Al yelled.

Mom poked her head out the door way, "Mustang...? Hey! Is Riza with you?" She asked.

He nodded, Mom then ran out the front door.

Edwin glanced around, "What's going on here?"

"Apparently Dad is the youngest state alchemist in history." I muttered.

"What! Dad told us not to be state alchemist! They're human weapons!" He screeched.

Dad sighed, "I know, I know...I was trying to make sure you guys never did what Al and I did." He sighed.

"What'd you do...?" I asked.

"Al and I committed human transmutation," He murmured.

My eyes widened, "That's how you lost your leg..." I said.

Dad stared at me, then looked down, "Yeah...I became a state alchemist so that Al and I could search for the Philosopher's stone and get his body back, which we did but...not using the stone. Just don't do that okay?" He said weakly.

"Who'd you try to bring back?" I asked.

"Your grandmother..." He said.

I saluted Mustang, "Dad, Uncle Al, Edwin, and I will do anything to help, Mr. Mustang."

"Don't salute him!" Dad demanded.

"I'll salute who I want!" I yelled.

"I'm your authority!" He screamed.

"So!" I replied.

Me: -_- So old, pointless, and terriblely written...

Choco-Neko-Chan: HAVE MORE CONFEDENCE!

Me: Nope.