"Cas, what are you doing?!" I yelled. "I'm making things right." The Angel replied. We were both at a spot where apparently the Veil between Heaven and Earth was the thinnest, or at least that's what Cas had said. It was crucial to some spell that, if done right, would undo Meta-jerk's spell and re-open the Gates of Heaven. I watched Cas draw the sigil and chant the words needed. I couldn't explain it, but I has a bad feeling start to build up in my gut. Like something was about to jump us, or that something was about to go wrong. I saw an almost blindingly bright light as Cas completed his spell. I saw him turn around, meet my eyes and said "I'm sorry Dean" before he was abruptly yanked forward towards the Veil and put his hand on the tear. The minute his hand made contact, I saw his back arch in pain. He swayed a little, but stubbornly kept the spell going, focusing on something I couldn't see. The bad feeling in my gut was getting worse as the Veil-Light got brighter and brighter. When I had asked about the ingredients earlier, Cas said that we had them all, but something in the way he said it had seemed off. But all thoughts ran from my mind as I saw, in the midst of the blinding glare, enormous golden gates. The Gates of Heaven. "Holy-!" I yelled, not believing what I saw. I saw Cas smile at that. I could tell that he was getting weaker and weaker by the minute, but he somehow found the strength to keep going. I almost scoffed. And he called me stubborn. I could see the Gates start to open, and the souls start to go in. I just looked on in awe. This was going to work! I could see the Gates were opening wider and wider, until they swung open all the way and flashed their brightest yet. I had to cover my eyes it was so bright. When the Veil-Light disappeared, I just looked at awe and amazement at Cas. I had never comprehended or known how much power he had at his command. Not until now anyway. He turned towards me and my feeling of awe turned to concern. He was getting paler by the second, and looked like he was barely standing. "Cas? Are you ok?" I asked. He looked up at the sky, like he was listening to something, smiled, then collapsed. I have never moved as fast as I did running towards him, stopping his fall, and setting him gently as I could on the ground. He was still looking up at the sky as I put my hands on his chest to shake him gently and said, "Cas! CAS! Can you hear me? Hey, listen, just hang on, ok? We're going get you back to the Bunker. Just hang on!" I stopped my rambling when Cas focused on me, a look of pure contentment on his face, and said, "Can you hear them Dean…? They're singing…" Then he closed his eyes.
I just stared in shock. I put my ear against his chest when I checked for a pulse. I couldn't hear any heartbeat, no matter how hard I pressed against his chest. "No…" I said shaking my head. This couldn't be happening. "Cas…? Cas, please…!" I started shaking him in an attempt to wake him up. "Cas, come on! Wake up! WAKE UP!" my voice cracked, but I was too deep in shock to care. I jumped when a hand was suddenly on my shoulder. I turned to see it was Sam. How he'd gotten here, I had no clue, but I was glad he was there. I turned back to Cas, and was about to start shaking him again, when Sam took his hand from my shoulder and put it on my arm, stopping me, saying, "Dean, he's gone. I'm sorry, but he's gone." Sam put his arm around me, and for once, I didn't shy away or tease him about a having a chick-flick moment. I was just glad he was there as I stared at the too-still body of my angelic best friend. "Cas, you child." I said as I buried my head in my brother's chest, unable to look anymore.
As I stayed in my brothers arms, I started to remember all the times I had with Cas. When I first met him, when he first confessed his doubts to me, his enduring ignorance of pop culture references, him standing up to Michel just so I could have five minutes with my brother, him making me laugh, him going against his family and becoming a part of ours, his excitement when he announced that he was going to learn to be a Hunter, and the list went on.
I eventually drew my head out of my brother's chest, and said roughly, "Come on. We'll give him a Hunter's funeral." Sam only nodded as we both got up. We both where about two feet away from Cas when I heard a faint moan. I looked back and saw Cas slightly move his head. I hurried back to where he was, knelt down and hesitantly asked, "Cas…?" As I asked that, I saw him slowly open his eyes. He blurrily focused on me and asked hoarsely, "Dean…?" he turned his head slightly and asked, "Sam…?" Sam smiled slightly and said, "Hey Cas." Cas turned back to me and I said, "What happened Cas? I couldn't find a heartbeat…" I trailed off as a lump grew in my throat. He met my eyes and said, "I'm fine now Dean." I couldn't help but smile at that. Typical Cas. He's nearly finished by a spell and he's just fine. Right. We'll go with that one. But I thought of how close we had come to losing him, in fact we had lost him for a minute, my smile disappeared and I said gruffly, "never do that again." I saw a small smile make its' way on his face as he said, "alright". I looked at Sam, and we both helped our stubborn Angel up.
He was little more than deadweight, and we all but dragged him back to Baby, but I didn't mind. At least he was here. As me and Sam helped Cas into his usual seat in the back, I saw that he had a thoughtful look on his face. What was he thinking of? I shook my head, and went to claim my seat in the driver side. If he wanted me to know, he'd tell me. Until then, I had no right asking. But I saw that his thoughtful expression turned to something I was well acquainted with. Heartache. Was he thinking about Gabriel? I mean, sure the guy was a jerk sometimes and really wishy-washy, but when it came down to it, he had saved all our lives, and his reward was paying the ultimate price. I shook my head slightly and turned Baby on. Metallica blared from the speakers, and I couldn't help the grin on my face. She seemed to always know how to cheer me up. I looked over at Sam as he yelled "turn that down!" I laughed and said "What? I can't hear you over how awesome this song is." And, to rub it in, I turned it up louder. Sam gave me a glare, but there was no real heat behind it, so I just laughed it off.
As I got ready to leave, I looked in the rear-view mirror, I saw that Cas still had some sadness in his expression, but now I saw that he also had a little bit of contentment in there too. I smiled a little to myself. Only me and Sam could claim that we had a real Angel in the back seat of our car. As I got on the road, I look at how Sam was asking Cas a million-and-one questions and Cas was trying the answer them and looking awkward as usual. I almost laughed. We had a weird, messed-up family, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.
As a cranky old man had once said, family doesn't end in blood.