AUTHOR'S NOTE: Special shoutout to V Parallel for the betareading and all around help with getting this story off the ground!

The commander held up his fist, stopping his troops from advancing. The soldiers crouched down, hidden behind the trees and foliage of the forest.

He was sure he'd heard a noise; more specifically, a woman's voice. And if that was correct, it could only be the target of the mission. No one else was supposed to be within ten kilometres of this area. But after a stretch of silence, he gave the signal to move forward.

His soldiers hiked through the forest, moving with as much stealth as they could muster. This was a squad that was used to marching through open countryside in heavy plate armour, not sneaking around the forest in thin leather armour. They didn't have to be concerned with swords and axes slapping against metal, but the forest had no roads. Branches, underbrush, shrubbery, all conspired-

"-quit fussing already, you're not my mother!"

His hand shot up again. He knows he heard her, and with a quick look at his troops, they confirmed it. They moved more swiftly, now that they knew where their target was. With more noise, too, the commander noted, but they had done pretty well considering the non-stealth focus of the squad of eleven.

The target was noted to be an amateur, though they didn't have an extensive profile. They knew that, and didn't try to be as silent as possible. She wasn't as skilled as the Demacian Elite closing in on her; his troops had been more focused on finding her than actually subduing her. The hard part was over.

They continued through the forest until movement caught his eye. His hand shot up.

"Give it a rest. It's just a flesh wound."

She looked alone, and was talking to herself, sitting on a log with her back to the approaching troops. His hand spread out, instructing his team to do the same. They formed a half circle in the woman's blind spot.

She suddenly shot up to her feet. "Do not tell me I'm bullheaded!" she shouted. "They barely scratched me!"

He had no idea who she was yelling at; the only other things he'd heard or seen were some birds and his own troops. She was clearly agitated, and possibly insane, but still facing away from them. This would be easy.

They continued to advance until they were about four trees deep from the clearing. It was a clear shot right to her. She wasn't even armed, as a crossbow and a pair of daggers were on a stump a few feet from her. The commander held up his fingers, and starting counting down to zero.

"Don't give me that look!" The woman had curled her hands into fists, seemingly shouting into the sky.

His hand turned into a fist. His men yelled and charged, letting adrenaline propel them forward.

Hesitation quickly rippled through the squad as a rope tightened around a soldier's ankle, jerking her into the air.

Confusion followed as another man was flipped upside down and pulled several feet off the earth.

Another disappeared into a hole in the ground with a yelp and loud thud.

More sharp cries and sudden noises followed, halting the charge forward. As the commander's adrenaline calmed down, he took stock of his surroundings. Half of his troops were snared by rope and upside down, while the other half were hidden in holes deep enough for two or three soldiers each. In a span of about fifteen seconds, he was alone on his feet.

And she was laughing.

He stared dumbfounded as a large blue eagle glided down to her eye level, circling the woman... wait, was it smiling? It landed on the stump where her weapons were, pointed his gold-tipped wing to her... did they just fist pump?

She turned her head towards the lone standing soldier, her laughing fit calming down as she looked at him with her yellow eyes.

"Oh, they'll be fine! This was all Val's idea!" she said, her body quite animated. "Just starting yelling so you'd find me, and keep my back to you the entire time. He's actually kinda strategic, though he can't tie a knot to save his own life." The eagle gave a quick squawk, flew up to her head and grabbed a beak full of purple hair, tugging on it.

"Valor!" she chided, her hands going up to bat the eagle away.

The commander slowly walked forward, an eye now looking for ropes and oddly worked ground in front of him. By the time he got to the clearing, Valor had perched himself back on the stump, puffing out his chest and looking quite full of himself.

The commander looked at her again.

"Also, Garen, Valor wanted to tell you that he is an Azurite eagle, not a Demacian eagle. To kinda quote the bird, they were around far longer than Demacia and are more majestic than anything-" SQUAWK! "Sorry, more honourable-" Squawk. "...dignified?" Squawk. She snapped her fingers. "Magnificent!" Valor shook his head. "Ok, what we have here is a breakdown of communication." Squawk. She looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "You know I can't read your mind right?"

Garen hid his face in his palm. "Quinn, you can't possibly be serious."

She looked back at him. "What? Communication is important." Valor gave a quick nod. Quinn smiled and gave his head a quick scratch. "It did take a bit more time to make the traps less... jerky? I didn't want to hurt the men, just show them what's up. Or what's down, since they are upside down." She elbowed Valor, who rolled his eyes. "Shush bird, that was clever."

A thump behind Garen made him turn around, showing that one soldier had cut himself loose, with others working to do the same. Some of them had climbed out of the trap holes, helping others to follow.

"Well, were upside down. They look fine, just as I planned!" Valor made a noise, grabbing her attention as he pointed his beak to his thighs. "Good point Val, they might have sore groins from the traps. Do guys get more groin injuries? Well, not all of them are guys, but is that a problem? Like I said, I tried to make the traps less jerky since they're allies. Took me an extra day, really." Valor smacked her in the face with a wing. "Okay, took us an extra day. I guess you gathered stuff to cover the holes and choose some less bendy trees for the snares. It's quite tricky, you know, to change the tension-"

Garen cleared his throat, stopping Quinn's rant. "What about the Noxian patrol you were ordered to find and eliminate?"

She snapped her fingers. "Right! I have a full mission statement ready for you! I wrote it all down, somewhere. Didn't want to forget any details." As Quinn began searching pouches on her belt, a loud curse behind them caught his attention. One soldier had dropped her weapon when the rope had grabbed her, and she was having a hell of a time trying to untie it. Garen started moving towards her when a bolt flew through the air, missing the rope.

"Dammit." Quinn was doing something akin to chuckling as Quinn took another shot, fraying the rope enough for the soldier to crash to the ground. "Hush your beak Valor and fetch those bolts for me? I guess a few lost their weapons, so may as well help them out by shooting them down." Quinn took aim, then hesitated, lowering the crossbow. "Well...actually, would that hurt them more than the...jerk? There has to be a better word to use then jerk." Squawk. "Yeah, don't want them thinking I'm calling them jerks."

Garen unsheathed his large sword and shook his head. "I've think you've done quite enough, Ranger. I will cut them down." He furrowed his brow as he stared into Quinn's eyes. "And it's Commander, Sir."

Quinn saluted, with Valor mimicking the action. "Sorry, Sir. Commander. Sir." Valor poked her in the ribs with his wing. There was no way it hurt her with her scout armour on, but she still flicked his head while holding the salute.

Garen started towards the closest soldier. Once his remaining men were cut down and fished out of holes, they were all going to listen to the entire mission statement, and maybe they might just learn something from this woman. This woman and her bird, who baited twelve elite Demacian soldiers into traps without even drawing a weapon.

Alright, maybe Quinn deserves a spot in the Demacian army.