AN: I wrote this a few weeks ago when spring returned to Germany. Just a little romance. Hope you enjoy it. :-)
And as usual, please forgive any grammatical mistake...
WhenSpringAwakes
It was a beautiful spring day she spent with her family in the park. She enjoyed the sun rays that warmed her face and her body and smiled to herself. She was sitting on a picnic blanket, watching her husband, who ramped around with their two children a few meters away. Her smile widened when she heard the three laughing loudly. They had fun. Of course they had. Her husband was absolutely besotted with his children and the two boys loved their father idolatrous. And she loved the way he treated them. She couldn't wish for a better man to be the father of her children. She was happy and she was thankful that she really got the family she had always wanted. And this with the man she loved for years. She continued to watch her three beloved and let her hand wander on her already clearly visible baby bump. Soon they were five and she was so pleased. Caught in her thoughts she didn't notice as he approached her. Only when he concealed the sun with his body she noticed that something was different. She blinked and then she began to beam. Two gentle brown eyes looked at her lovingly and the smile on his lips let her even melt.
"Now, what are my two girls doing?", he asked and sat down beside her on the blanket.
"We watch you guys romping around", she answered smiling. "And what are you doing here?"
"I just wanted to say I love you!" He put his hand on her stomach and pulled her into a tender embrace to kiss her then. His tongue played gently with hers and a contented sigh escaped her lips.
"And I love you!", she breathed against his lips and kissed him again lovingly. It was the absolutely perfect moment which she would have preferred captured forever...
"Darling... come on, wake up!", she heard a faraway voice. At first she didn't respond to it, because she wasn't asleep. But then she felt a shaking and slowly she opened her eyes. "Hey darling, you had a nice dream?" She blinked and had to orientate herself. She looked around and saw the park and the picnic blanket on which she lay. And she recognized the man who was bent over her, smiling, and who looked at her lovingly.
"What?", she asked, but only when she realized that he had asked her something.
"You have smiled so satisfied", said the man who still looked at her lovingly and she frowned. Then she put her hand on her stomach and realized that she wasn't pregnant. And the eyes that looked at her so lovingly were not the ones she loved so much. It had been a dream. Just a dream.
"Um, yeah. I did...", she therefore said and stood up slowly.
"And are you going to tell me what you dreamed of?", he asked her then, but she just shook her head.
"Maybe someday", she said, trying to smile.
Shouldn't she feel bad that she regretted it that the man at her side wasn't the man she wanted? She knew he loved her, that he would do anything for her and yet her heart couldn't really warm up to him. For several months they led a sort of weekend relationship and it was quite nice to come home and to know that someone would be there waiting for her. And yet it felt wrong. She liked him, but she didn't love him. And she never would. Not as long as her heart belonged to another. A man she probably could never have. And yet her heart yearned only for this one man.
As she sat in the meeting room on the next day, waiting for the rest of her team, her hand went back to her stomach and her thoughts wandered back to her dream. It had all felt so real, so right. That's the way it should be. But it wasn't and she doubted that it ever would be. She was with Pete now and not with the man she wanted to be the father of her children. And thanks to the Air Force, he could probably never be the father of her children. And yet it was exactly what she wanted most. She didn't notice when he entered the room and was startled when he spoke to her.
"Is everything okay, Carter?", he asked with a smile and a raised eyebrow.
"Uh, yeah, Colonel. I was just in thought..."
"You don't say... And obviously beautiful thoughts...", he said.
"Um, well… Yes…", she admitted truthfully and smiled slightly.
"Indeed... And may I ask what kind of thoughts these are?"
"Um, yeah... Well…"
„Carter?"
"Um, maybe I'll tell you sometime..."
"Well, I'll come back to it!", he grinned now and her heart leapt for joy. She loved that smile and the way he looked at her and his eyes and ... him. Everything about him.
Meanwhile the rest of her team had arrived and when General Hammond entered the room the meeting could begin. However, different to her usual behavior she didn't listen but watched the man opposite her and she wondered what it would be like to feel his lips on hers.
A few hours later she sat in her lab and was again lost in thoughts. So she hadn't noticed how he entered her lab. Only after she felt his hand on her shoulder she awoke from her numbness and shrank back briefly.
"Sorry Carter, I didn't want to scare you...", he apologized.
"No, it's okay... I was just..."
"Lost in thoughts?", he finished her sentence and smiled at her.
„Well, yes…"
"You tell me this time what goes on in your pretty head that you're this absent minded?"
"Um... Well... I..." She didn't know what to say, and she felt the blood surge to her head. And that couldn't have escaped even him.
"You'd prefer I didn't ask?", she heard him say then.
"Um, no it's okay... It's just... A little... Inappropriate..."
"Inappropriate?", he asked, raising an eyebrow.
„Yes…"
"In what way?"
"Well, there are some thoughts in my head which shouldn't be there..."
"And what is that?"
"Actually, it's rather someone..." She was nervous, but she would dare. More than that he rejected her couldn't happen. And then she would know at least what this "thing" between them was.
"Someone?", he asked gently. "And do I know that someone?"
"I think so..." She stood up and turned towards him, so that she could see him in his beautiful brown eyes. Then she lifted a hand and placed it on his cheek. She saw how his gaze changed. She would have described it as a mixture of astonishment and fear.
"Carter, what?..." His voice was very quiet.
"It's you, Jack. You're the one I'm thinking of. All the time... And I can't stop...", she confessed softly.
"Oh… Really?"
"Yes..." And then she came up to him tentatively and gave him a brief kiss on the cheek.
"Sam...", she heard him whisper and he looked at her quizzically.
"I'd like to kiss you properly, but unfortunately I can't."
„But…"
„But what, Jack?"
"What about...?" She still saw a certain fear in his eyes.
"He's not you...", she answered truthfully. "And he'll never be you. He'll never be able to take the place in my heart that you have already. And who knows, maybe someday I'll get the chance to kiss you properly. I would really like it... "
"Really?" She saw a slight smile on his lips and he looked at her like a shy deer. That was so typical for him and her heart melted away even more under his gaze.
"Really...", she assured him.
"If you really want, then we'll find a way, Sam", he said softly.
"But when?"
"Who knows, maybe faster than you think..."
"What do you mean?"
"Do you have any plans for the next weekend?
„Why?"
"I know a little lake in Minnesota..."
"Okay...", she whispered.
"Okay?"
„Yes…"
Her hand was still on his cheek and he put his hand over hers before he brought it to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss on the inside of her hand. This gesture was so much more than just a simple touch of his lips, and it meant that something fundamental had changed in their relationship. And this only within a few minutes. She looked him briefly in his eyes before he removed his hand from hers and had created a little more distance between them. Until the weekend it was still four days and she wished that these would pass quickly.
Spring had just begun and had already brought so many promising things into her life as she would have never dreamed of. She was excited to see what the rest of the year would keep ready for her. One thing was however already clear, her dream could possibly still be fulfilled. In any case, she had taken another major hurdle in this direction. Pete belonged to the past since a few days and since the last weekend she and Jack were closer than ever before. And together they would be able to master the final hurdle, she was absolutely sure. Together with Jack she could do everything.