The Idiot Next Door -goofy look on the citizens of Harmony
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~*~
(Starts off in the hospital where Julian looks for Eve and finds her alone in a patient's room).
"Hello Eve,"
Eve Gasps. "What are you doing here!?" she asks, confused.
"You told me to come by the hospital today so you could see if my cut healed fine," he answers lightly.
"Oh," she replies quietly, hitting herself on the head with her hand.
Julian steps closer to Eve, only inches away from her face.
"I love you Eve," he whispers.
"Duh you do," she states the obvious.
"But I don't love you. I love you, but I don't love you,"
Julian ignores her and kisses her. Eve starts to pull away but then wraps her arms around his neck,
pulling him closer to her body.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?" A furious T.C. demands to know.
"T.C!" Eve gradually pulls away, knocking Julian to the ground.
"There is a very good explaination for this."
"I'm listening," rage in his eyes burns.
"It's a new technique to see if you have any diseases," Eve stupidly confesses.
"Ohhh, I'm soo sorry Eve. Forgive me! Please! You just have to! I know you don't love Julian. Only a stupid
whore would, but you are so perfect. My perfect Eve. So beautiful and perfect. Just perfect. Did I mention
to you how perfect you are? So perfect."
Eve smiles, guilty, and lets T.C. kiss her passionately, while Julian lays on the floor, crying for some
brandy and cigars.
~*~
(Sheridan's cottage.)
"Antonio I think you need to rest now," Sheridan explains like a broken record.
"But I want to make love to you! NOW! I don't care if I can die at any moment. I want to make love to you!
Now take off your clothes!" Antonio demands.
"No, Antonio--"
"I want sex! Hot, monkey burning sex! You will now get naked..."
"Like hell she will!" Luis invites himself into the conversation.
"What do you mean by that, bro?"
"I mean Sheridan loves--"
"What Luis means is that it's late and we are all tired and need rest. Right Luis?"
Luis stands still, his expression blank.
"Right. Luis is right. I agree with him. Let's all go to bed now after drinking some nice tea. I love tea."
"I don't want no damn tea!" Antonio yells, knocks down a chair and trips onto a coffee table carelessly.
"Antonio! He's dead! Oh my god! Luis! We killed him! I don't want to go to jail! It's scary and dirty there!"
Sheridan cries and cries, saying that Antonio is dead over and over again.
"I'm not dead," Antonio says in a loudly, laying on the bare ground.
"Oh my god! He's dead! I can't believe it! Antonio is dead! I'm not over-reacting!" Sheridan cries out again.
"Now let's go and make love," Luis grins, walks to Sheridan's bedroom, while she tags along.
~*~
"Kay, I don't love you," Miguel slowly explains.
"But we made love, Miguel! I gave you my virginity! I gave you some nice sex and let you see me nakey. It's
not fair! All I want in return is your love!" Kay whines.
"I like to act like a monkey,"
"Miguel! Oh Miguel! There's something I have to tell you. It's so important." She grabs his hand.
"My shoes are pink," Miguel says.
"Listen to me. I need for you to listen to me and not interrupt me."
"I have a cat named FeeFee."
Kay begins to cry. "I love you! There, I said it. I always have and always will. You are my soulmate Miguel.
When we made love, I felt like my dreams were coming true! When I saw you, noticing me, noticing you, noticing
me, noticing you watching me get nakey, it was like my whole world was complete. I dreamt about us having sex
ever since I was a little girl, Miguel. Don't you love me?"
"I know how to eat a pumpkin."
"Oh Miguel! I'm going to die now if you say you don't love me!" a knife appears out of no where, and Kay clutches
it tightly.
"I---am---your---father--"
"Miguel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm coming to you now!!!!!" Charity yells out.
Kay quickly grabs onto Miguel and kisses him wildly, while Charity prepares to model her new hospital gown.
"Miguel, whats going on?" Charity sees everything.
"Nothing," Miguel says.
"Oh, OKAY! Now look at my beautiful outfit! I think the red poka dots bring out the blue in my eyes. And the
nurse gave me a yellow bow to put on my hand. It's so pretty. I love it."
"I like that bow." Miguel walks away with Charity, leaving Kay alone and all sad.
~*~
-
~*~
(Starts off in the hospital where Julian looks for Eve and finds her alone in a patient's room).
"Hello Eve,"
Eve Gasps. "What are you doing here!?" she asks, confused.
"You told me to come by the hospital today so you could see if my cut healed fine," he answers lightly.
"Oh," she replies quietly, hitting herself on the head with her hand.
Julian steps closer to Eve, only inches away from her face.
"I love you Eve," he whispers.
"Duh you do," she states the obvious.
"But I don't love you. I love you, but I don't love you,"
Julian ignores her and kisses her. Eve starts to pull away but then wraps her arms around his neck,
pulling him closer to her body.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?" A furious T.C. demands to know.
"T.C!" Eve gradually pulls away, knocking Julian to the ground.
"There is a very good explaination for this."
"I'm listening," rage in his eyes burns.
"It's a new technique to see if you have any diseases," Eve stupidly confesses.
"Ohhh, I'm soo sorry Eve. Forgive me! Please! You just have to! I know you don't love Julian. Only a stupid
whore would, but you are so perfect. My perfect Eve. So beautiful and perfect. Just perfect. Did I mention
to you how perfect you are? So perfect."
Eve smiles, guilty, and lets T.C. kiss her passionately, while Julian lays on the floor, crying for some
brandy and cigars.
~*~
(Sheridan's cottage.)
"Antonio I think you need to rest now," Sheridan explains like a broken record.
"But I want to make love to you! NOW! I don't care if I can die at any moment. I want to make love to you!
Now take off your clothes!" Antonio demands.
"No, Antonio--"
"I want sex! Hot, monkey burning sex! You will now get naked..."
"Like hell she will!" Luis invites himself into the conversation.
"What do you mean by that, bro?"
"I mean Sheridan loves--"
"What Luis means is that it's late and we are all tired and need rest. Right Luis?"
Luis stands still, his expression blank.
"Right. Luis is right. I agree with him. Let's all go to bed now after drinking some nice tea. I love tea."
"I don't want no damn tea!" Antonio yells, knocks down a chair and trips onto a coffee table carelessly.
"Antonio! He's dead! Oh my god! Luis! We killed him! I don't want to go to jail! It's scary and dirty there!"
Sheridan cries and cries, saying that Antonio is dead over and over again.
"I'm not dead," Antonio says in a loudly, laying on the bare ground.
"Oh my god! He's dead! I can't believe it! Antonio is dead! I'm not over-reacting!" Sheridan cries out again.
"Now let's go and make love," Luis grins, walks to Sheridan's bedroom, while she tags along.
~*~
"Kay, I don't love you," Miguel slowly explains.
"But we made love, Miguel! I gave you my virginity! I gave you some nice sex and let you see me nakey. It's
not fair! All I want in return is your love!" Kay whines.
"I like to act like a monkey,"
"Miguel! Oh Miguel! There's something I have to tell you. It's so important." She grabs his hand.
"My shoes are pink," Miguel says.
"Listen to me. I need for you to listen to me and not interrupt me."
"I have a cat named FeeFee."
Kay begins to cry. "I love you! There, I said it. I always have and always will. You are my soulmate Miguel.
When we made love, I felt like my dreams were coming true! When I saw you, noticing me, noticing you, noticing
me, noticing you watching me get nakey, it was like my whole world was complete. I dreamt about us having sex
ever since I was a little girl, Miguel. Don't you love me?"
"I know how to eat a pumpkin."
"Oh Miguel! I'm going to die now if you say you don't love me!" a knife appears out of no where, and Kay clutches
it tightly.
"I---am---your---father--"
"Miguel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm coming to you now!!!!!" Charity yells out.
Kay quickly grabs onto Miguel and kisses him wildly, while Charity prepares to model her new hospital gown.
"Miguel, whats going on?" Charity sees everything.
"Nothing," Miguel says.
"Oh, OKAY! Now look at my beautiful outfit! I think the red poka dots bring out the blue in my eyes. And the
nurse gave me a yellow bow to put on my hand. It's so pretty. I love it."
"I like that bow." Miguel walks away with Charity, leaving Kay alone and all sad.
~*~