A/N: Look! Another random thought! Why I always come up with random Matrix stuff beats me, maybe it has something to do with my *mild* obsession…nah!
SPOOF ALERT! This is in no way serious! If you're looking for something with actual meaning, it's not here!
I got this idea while playing one of my favorite games on my iPod. I wondered; if Neo's a hacker, wouldn't he like video games? I personally think he would, it'd be like second nature or something. But whatever, I'll let you decide for yourself. So please enjoy my latest creation of randomness :)
Closet Video Game Junkies
It was midnight. Link was used to staying up and watching the feed, but tonight's activities were just plain ridiculous.
He'd signed up to join the Neb the second Tank asked him to. He couldn't argue while Tank was in such bad condition, but why would he anyway? Morpheus was a legend and Neo…working with Neo would be incredibly cool. He imagined life on the Neb to be extremely serious, but in reality, and much to his astonishment, it was just the opposite.
Apparently, Neo, Trinity and Morpheus all had an obsession with video games. Tank had made a lot of simulations, but they preferred going into the Matrix to brawl via PS2 and Xbox360 and occasionally Wii, (PS3 was an all around disappointment to them). Every other night of the week, they would all sit in a secret apartment they stole and play games until they were satisfied, which usually lasted to around 3 in the morning.
Sometimes, Link would warn them of approaching Agents, but they would wave him off. Neo would say something like, "In a minute! I'm kicking Trinity's ass!"
And she'd be all like, "Over my dead body!" (Which was highly strategic of her because it always emotionally compromised Neo to the point that he would throw the challenge for her.)
Then, right on cue, the Agents would come in and be all like, "Shows over Ne—are you playing Call of Duty?"
"World at War." Trinity would coax. In a few minutes, they'd all be playing.
Link didn't understand this at all. How could Morpheus allow this? Or maybe he wasn't aware of it, since he was usually in the corner tapping at an iPod playing Robot Unicorn Attack. He would sometimes look up, but Link doubted that his warped mind saw anything but rainbows and stars needing to be destroyed. On one occasion, he jumped on an Agent yelling "100 points! Yeah, that's right!" It didn't take long to become a gun fight. After a few minutes, they'd destroyed every game except Halo, and none of them wanted to touch that old news.
Tonight, it was Agent Brown, Agent Jones, Neo and Trinity playing Mario Cart, Morpheus keeping score, knowing full well that the game did that automatically.
Neo usually used his Matrix bending powers to his advantage while playing Mario Cart, (since he really sucked without them). He would make it look like a glitch in the game when he sped up without receiving a star or when hitting an opponent without any visible turtle shells on his part of the screen, but Trinity knew better. Most of the time, if she didn't beat him, they'd start some sort of kung fu/street fight on the spot while the Agents were still trying to catch up in the game. They were both terrible in some courses, their main strategy to go as fast as they could. It wasn't a bad strategy, (if you can turn on a dime, that is.)
Morpheus was too busy laughing at the Agents continuously driving off the course to notice Neo and Trinity fighting just outside the apartment.
"Damn you, Princess Peach! Why can't you fly!" Agent Jones shouted.
Brown laughed manically as his character, Baby Mario, passed the plummeting Princess Peach. "Too bad you can't die in this game. That'd be hilarious."
Meanwhile, Link looked glanced outside the apartment to see that Trinity and Neo had stopped fighting and were now making out.
Typical. He thought.
He glanced back inside the apartment to see Agent Brown and Morpheus running around the small room in circles screaming "WINNING!" while Agent Jones was holding a gun to his head.
Just then, Agent Smith crashed down from the ceiling, frantically pointing his gun in all different directions. "Stop this madness!" He screamed. Both Agent Brown and Morpheus froze while Trinity and Neo peeked into the room.
Agent Smith was breathing heavily through his teeth, his sunglasses chipped at the edges. Link was at the edge of his chair, wondering what he would do next. Finally, he spoke,
"I'll show you how it's done."
He immediately sat down in a vacant bean-bag chair and picked up a Wii remote. Both Agents and Morpheus hurriedly picked up the other remotes, eager for a challenge with the Mario Cart champion of the world. Trinity looked at Neo and they shrugged, going back to their make out session.
Just when Link thought it couldn't get any worse, Niobe came charging in, looking around at the mess. She grabbed Morpheus by the back of his suit and pulled him to his feet. "What the hell is this? You should be on the Neb."
"And you should be on the Logos. You're not actually working either." Morpheus countered, knowing exactly what her crew was up to.
"Shut up, Morpheus, and keep it down, freaks," she was addressing the Agents who were obviously not listening to her. "We're reading." And after an intense glare at her X, "Remember how I killed that one guy? In that one place?"
Morpheus' face grew dead serious, knowing the exact memory. "With only your thumb?"
"Yeah. I here another sound out of this room…" she held up her thumb.
"OK, OK, I get it!" Morpheus said, genuinely afraid.
"Good." And with that, she let go of Morpheus and stormed out of the room. Link was terribly confused. He glanced over to the neighboring room and saw the crew of the Logos sitting around, all with lap tops drinking ice tea out of cheap plastic cups from Ruby Tuesdays.
"What?" Link yelled. What could they possibly be doing? He zoomed in and saw Ghost uploading a word document onto some fan fiction sight. It was titled "Why Doesn't Trinity Love Me?"
He looked over to Niobe who had just resumed reading "Morpheus: What He's Really Thinking When He and Niobe Run Into Each Other."
"AAARRRRGGGG!" Link grunted, throwing his headphones off and marching to his room.
Neo looked up, sensing this. "Link left." Is all he said.
Trinity tilted her head in thought. "Well, he'll probably go to sleep. So that means we're stuck here until morning…" She looked into the room where the three Agents and Morpheus were pushing each other as poor distractions and now whispering obscenities at each other instead of yelling, regarding Niobe's wrath.
"Hey Morpheus," she said, not waiting for him to respond, "Link left, so we're stuck here. We're getting hungry, what are you guys in the mood for?"
The Agents all responded "Chinese!"
"We had that two nights ago, what else?"
"How about Mexican?" Morpheus asked. The Agents agreed.
"Alright, we'll be back in, like, maybe three hours."
The guys grunted a response and resumed Mario Cart. Neo gave Trinity a questionable look. "Three hours? What'll we be doing for three whole hours?"
"Buy more games, duh. I wanted to buy a PSP anyway so I can finally play Birth by Sleep." Trinity said. Neo was the only person that knew about her secret love of all things Disney, hence Kingdom Hearts.
"And I wanted a 3DS so I could play Nintendogs + Cats. Sounds like a plan."
So…yeah, I've only played Mario Cart, Birth by Sleep, and Robot Unicorn Attack. Hope I made you laugh, it's one of my many goals in life :)