Matt leaned over and gingerly planted a kiss on his lover's forehead. "Why the hell are you so damn cute?"
Matthew gave his reply with a smile, "Because god wanted to make someone worthy of you."
Pulling him closer Matt gave a slight squeeze. "I don't deserve you"
"You don't give yourself enough credit."
"I give myself too much." He murmured.
Matthew rested his head on the other's shoulder. "I love you."
Matt felt these words burn him like ice as he sat up in
bed.
The other night dear as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed Matt began to get up but stopped himself, and began sobbing. He hadn't cried since he was a child, and now every night a wave of emotion would come flooding back.
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I bowed my head and I cried
Their first fight was Matt yelling at Matthew for hours, for a reason neither of them could recall, while Matthew just kept saying sorry. The nest morning Matthew awoke early and made pancakes, nearly 50 of them. He said sorry one more time.
Matt never apologized when he had Matthew.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
Matthew was the first one to say 'I love you', though Matt wanted to reciprocate these words, he couldn't bring himself to. His whole life he'd been told showing emotions makes you weak.
You'll never know dear how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
Matt was the one to end it. It was during a fight, the words the left Matt's mouth seared as they hit Matthew's ears, "You're nothing, invisible, a nobody."
Matthew mumbled a "Sorry" as his lover continued ranting for nearly another hour before he uttered the cutting phrase: "Get out."
"Sor-"
"Don't you dare apologize you pathetic piece of shit." "But Matt…" a tear ran down his cheek, "You're angry and you don't mean that."
"I mean exactly what I said." Matt left the bedroom to pour himself a drink he fell asleep with a bottle of whiskey in his hand his head resting on the table.
He awoke in the morning to find the only trace of Mathew, a note that said "I'm so sorry."
I'll always love you, and make you happy
If only you could say the same
Matt had gone into town for more alcohol when he saw his former lover, Matthew holding the hand of someone else.
He's just a friend.
Matt repeated this to himself until the pair kissed, that was the last time matt went into town.
And if you leave me to love another
You will regret it all someday
Matt would spend hours watching Matthew sleep, with a smile on his face. He'd sit silently, letting a blush grace his face every time Matthew would so much as turn over.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
On their third date Matt took them hunting, something Matthew had never done. They did well and had shot 3 bucks by noon, when they stopped for lunch. Matthew removed his hunting cap due to the midday sun.
"I need to relieve myself." Matthew walked 10 yards into the woods for some privacy when a shot rang out.
"Mattie?" Matt called, no answer, "Mattie! Mattie are you okay!?" he charged though the woods in the Matthew's direction. Lying on the ground was Matthew, with a dozen pieces of buckshot in his shoulder.
"Mattie!" He knelt down next to him, trying to use his jacket to cover the bleeding as he called 911. In the hospital he sat awake for 37 hours until Matthew regained consciousness.
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
Every Saturday afternoon since he was five, Matt had played a game of hockey with them same group of people at the same rink without fail.
"But Matt, you said you'd go to the cinema with me this weekend."
"I've played hockey with these guys for years, Mattie."
"But, okay."
When Saturday afternoon came around, Matt was waiting to drive to the cinema.
I've always loved you and made you happy
And nothing else could come between
GOOGLE SEARCH: "MATTHEW WILLIAMS" Matt clicked on the first link to a social networking page. Every post painted a picture of someone in a happy, healthy relationship. Matt scrolled back to the posts from when they were in a relationship. They painted a different picture altogether. This picture was much less pleasant for those looking in.
But now you've left me to love another
You've shattered all of my dreams
If Matt sat was ever stressed about anything Matthew would make jokes until he could get him to smile.
"What do you call a smart American?"
"What?"
"An American-Canadian."
He cracked a smile and planted a kiss, "You're too good, Mattie." Those were the good times.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
Matt opened his photo album. 311 pictures of Matthew. Everyone of them had 'I love you.' In Matt's hand writing on the back.
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away