He hated himself, hated the way he looked at her sometimes, the way he felt about her and certainly what he did to her. It was the same every time it always happened on those nights when she came to his room saying that she had a nightmare about the academy and needed to stay with him for the rest of the night and of course he would let her how could he not? She was his mei-mei after all and he cared about her more then anything else in the verse. She would lie next to him and ask him too hold her and without question he always would. It wouldn't be long after that when she would be close to falling asleep and he would kiss her forehead softly and sometimes his eyes drifted to her lips and on occasion she would notice and tell him it was ok. He would always tell her that they couldn't, that it was wrong and she would always tell him it doesn't matter because it feels right and she knows he wants it too and sometimes he's strong enough to say no but sometimes he isn't. Yes Simon Tam certainly hated himself but that never made him feel any worse when he was with her.