Hanging

Where are you Sonic?

I asked you to meet me under the apple tree today and you didn't show up. I don't understand you sometimes, you told me you would be there and once again you aren't. I waited all day for you, a lot longer than I should have done. It's almost as if you are punishing me on purpose, as if you find this all to be a joke.

My feelings are genuine I do love you, I'd love to be your girlfriend. I just wish you would notice me.

When it was Valentines Day I sent you a card, I decorated it with glitter and hand drawn hearts. I know you got it Sonic because I watched you arrive home and I saw you holding it through the window.

Then when your birthday came round I made you super special cupcakes! Soft sponge with thick cream toppings in your favorite colors! And little edible gems atop each one to look like the chaos emeralds. I know you got those too because Tails told me how yummy they were. But you didn't say anything about them. You didn't even send me a thank you note for them. Was a thank you note really too much to ask for?

Christmas time, do you remember Christmas?

Do you remember Christmas Sonic?

Everyone was altogether for it passing presents round, I got you that remote control car, the one you really wanted. And I signed my name on the label, with pretty hearts around it. When you smiled at me you gave me such butterflies!

I watched you play with it for ages, crashing it on purpose into objects and the others.

The dinner was great, you were sat opposite me and it was the greatest view anyone could ever wish for.

You were so happy.

I was so happy too.

And then the New Year rolled in and everyone was altogether again to watch the fireworks. I tried to get your attention but every time I got near to you, you kept dashing off somewhere else.

Did you not see me Sonic?

I kept following you but you were too fast for me to keep up the pace and I got tired.

I've tried my best to keep up with you all these years and I honestly feel like sometimes you just lead me on. If you don't want me why don't you just tell me.

Just tell me you don't like me.

It would be easier for both of us that way.

I saw you yesterday across the road, you were shopping with Tails. You're always with him, I wish you were always with me!

I wish you were mine.

I waved at you and called your name, Tails heard me and he stopped to wave but you didn't. You just kept walking. You completely ignored me.

I felt like someone had shot me through the back. How could you just completely ignore me?

And then today, the day you were supposed to meet me here. You promised you would be here, but you're not.

It hurts me, it really hurts me.

I walked home slowly, my head hanging as my tears streamed down my face. I couldn't bear for strangers to see me like that so I took the scenic route. Everyone takes the shortcuts, but I needed to try and clear my mind of those thoughts.

When I got back home I went to my room and sat at my dresser. I looked at myself in the mirror.

I was crying so much my eyeliner was all streaked down my face. The sight made me cry even more. You hurt me so much Sonic!

I hate you.

Why can't you just love me? We're meant to be! We go together and you just can't see it! You're so stupid.

I'm so stupid.

Why did I ever think you would want me? I'm nothing but a stupid little girl with an obsession. This isn't love it's an obsession.

I pulled my journal out of my desk and flicked through the pages, I drew pictures of us getting married. I would have a beautiful rose pink dress and you would wear a tuxedo. Manic would be your best man.

I ripped the page from its place, screwing it into a ball and throwing it against the wall. I began to scream as I pulled other pages out, tearing them into pieces before grabbing what remained and hurling it across the room at my wall. It landed in a heap on the floor.

I screamed at myself in the mirror, tears streaming down my face again.

I'm so ugly, why would anyone want me.

I picked up my scissors from my desk and slashed the blades of them across my arm.

Stupid, stupid girl!

I threw them across my room as well, screaming again as small red lines formed on my arm and began to seep. I've had enough! I don't want this anymore! I screamed again, kicking my legs under my dresser. Pushing the chair back, I stood up and turned away from the stupid mirror and the stupid girl that was looking at me. I blinked through my tear filled eyes, looking for something. I didn't know what, just anything.

Anything.

Near my bed was Cream's jump rope. We'd been playing jump rope the last weekend when she came over to spend some time with me, I guess she'd left it there when we'd been in here coloring.

What was I coloring? Stupid wedding pictures that would never happen in a million years!

I paced over and scooped up the jump rope, I went back and grabbed my chair, dragging it to the centre of my room.

I stepped up on the chair and reached up to my light with the jump rope, tying one end of it to my light.

Nothing but a stupid little girl.

I choked back my tears as I wrapped the other end around my neck, tying it as tightly as I could. Tears still leaked from my eyes.

I hate you Sonic. This is all your fault!

I screamed in anger and frustration again. You stupid blue blockhead! You should have been with me! The rope made breathing difficult. BUT SO DID YOU!

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!

SHUT UP!

I kicked the chair out from underneath me.