This chapter, lovingly entitled Monster, How Should I Feel? after the song Monster by Meg and Dia (check it out, it kicks ass) was inspired by a comic drawn by a close friend. Here's the description:
Sesshomaru has a nightmare where he harms Kagura (his mate) and Rin. Kagura calls him a monster in the dream. He fears that dream will become reality, and confronts his beloved to ask her opinion.
Rated: T (Look! No sex!)
Warnings: A look into the mind of an OOC Sesshomaru and a naked Kagura. Fun stuff, folks!
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A feral growl tore through the silence of the night, slicing through the stillness like a knife through butter.
Children ran, screaming for their mothers, and women shrieked in terror as an ear-splitting roar shook the earth, ripping through the small village and consuming the people who were left with terror. Men stood at the ready, spears and swords clasped between shaking fists, as the demon approached slowly. The sight of it was enough to send even the strongest of men running for the hills.
The youkai was tall and lean with long, flowing, silver hair that obscured the view of half of its face as the wind sent it whipping through the space around it. Although slightly hidden from view, the deep violet lines that ran jagged across his cheekbones were evident, standing out considerably against his pale skin. Red eyes glowed with aquamarine pupils, and sharp fangs nearly half a foot long were bared from his snarling mouth. Deadly claws that were as pointed as the edge of a sword and could easily tear through skin and bone alike shone in the light of the full moon. The youkai's clothes were ripped from his person, the only thing covering him being his tattered hakama. Bloody marks were etched into the firm skin of his chest, as if he had recently gone hand-to-hand with a giant bear youkai.
"He has arrived!" the man at the lead of the pack of villagers informed, widening his stance and holding his sword erect, he signaled for the small army of men to charge at the demon. "Kill him! Kill Lord Sesshomaru!"
As at least fifty men ran for him, Sesshomaru smirked. They would be dead in a matter of seconds. Letting out a fearsome growl that quickly transformed into a gut-wrenching roar, he pushed off of his bare heel and sprinted—almost as fast as the speed of light—to the herd of men sent to exterminate him. "Filthy vermin!" he hissed, taking out a healthy group of men with a simple sweep of his claws. They fell like bags of rocks onto the cold, unforgiving ground, blood spilling from several gashes caused by the demon's talons. They were dead within seconds, and Sesshomaru enjoyed watching them writhe in pain before they fell limp and he could hear their heartbeats no more. Turning from their bloodied, dead bodies to the rest of the villagers, another small smirk spread across his face.
They all backed up noticeably, before their leader threw his sword up toward the sky, then pointed it at Sesshomaru. "Attack, men! Attack!" He pulled his horse's reigns back, causing the animal to pull up onto its haunches to seem threatening. "Kill the demon!" Hesitantly, the men moved to surround him, scythes and swords alike aimed directly at Sesshomaru's unmoving figure.
Shifting his scarlet gaze from one villager to the next, Sesshomaru let out a rumble from deep within his chest; a sign of dominance and superiority. "Die," he growled before pouncing, sending at least twenty men flying back into the forest; they were dead before they even hit the ground. The few that were still standing didn't stay that way for very long; Sesshomaru was on them like a cat on a mouse, and before one could think to even blink, he had taken out the entire legion of men. The only one left alive was the leader, but the taiyoukai would change that in just a moment.
The man up high on his horse sifted frantically through the dead bodies with his frightful, brown gaze. Finally, his eyes rested on Sesshomaru, who was watching him intently, his nose twitching. He could smell his fear. The man's eyes suddenly turned cold and hard, and he hopped from his horse, pointing his sword at the demon. "Y-you killed them all! Damn you, Sesshomaru! Damn you to the seventh hell!"
Scoffing, the taiyoukai crossed his arms and casually made his way over to the man. "You first." Then, before anymore could be said, he suddenly appeared behind the angry man and thrust his hand forward, sending it into the man's back and through to his front. Letting poison surge from the tips of his claws, he dragged his other hand all the way up to the man's throat, puncturing him there and relishing the way his pulse sped up, then slowed to a stop. As the man fell limp in his arms, Sesshomaru threw him unceremoniously onto the ground. His nose twitched again. There were still several people left in the village, and he was going to take full advantage of the situation.
Leaping gracefully onto the roof of what he assumed was the [dead] headman's hut, he squatted, looking all the more predatory, and his red, unfeeling eyes scanned the town for survivors. Growling when he noticed a woman and a young girl fleeing from a hut not too far away from where he was perched, he let out another roar before jumping down in their path, blocking their escape. The little girl screamed and clung to the woman, who, with another deep intake of breath, Sesshomaru realized was also a demon. "You won't get away, wenches..." he growled out, tracing a claw almost non threateningly across the female demon's cheek.
She emitted a warning growl before slapping his hand away from her face and staring up into his eyes. "You...you monster! Don't touch me!" She jumped when his hands clasped her shoulders tightly, bringing her face so close to his, their noses were touching.
"I wouldn't talk like that to me if I were you, bitch." Taking in her defiant expression, he simply smirked. Haughty woman didn't know who she was dealing with. With a flick of his wrist, she was thrown onto the ground, robes coming slightly undone as she sprawled on the ground none too gracefully. The little girl at her side squeaked and ran to assist her, and the woman shoved the younger female behind her as she sat back on her haunches and glared up at him. Chuckling, Sesshomaru bent down and hooked his finger under her chin, forcing her to look him in the eye. "And now, pretty bitch, I am going to kill you."
Her scarlet eyes widened as he raised his hand, and a scream echoed through his mind as his claws made contact with the porcelain skin of her neck...
Shaking himself awake, Sesshomaru's eyes snapped open as his hand simultaneously raised to brush his sweaty bangs away from his forehead. Strangest dream I think I've ever had... he thought as his heart rate calmed to a manageable tempo. It wasn't often that the great Lord Sesshomaru admitted to his fears, but when dreams like that plagued his mind, he couldn't help but think about the possibilities of what would happen if his inner demon actually did manage to take control of his rational thought. It was a very rare occurrence; a probability of one to a million of such a thing happening, but it still left room for contemplation.
Kagura... He decided he needed to see her, to verify that she was okay. He had hurt her...killed her...in his nightmare, and the hatred that swam in her beautiful, burgundy eyes affected him in a way that slightly frightened him. Only slightly.
Standing from his bed and frowning stoically so as not to draw attention to himself, he inconspicuously slipped out of his bedroom, shutting the door quietly and softly treading down the hallway to the gardens of the Western Palace. If he knew Kagura, and he definitely knew her, she would be bathing in the hot springs set up at the perimeter of his land.
Stepping around one of the maids that was cleaning the porch overlooking the gardens, Sesshomaru shoved his hands into the opposite sleeves of his casual, spring kimono. It wasn't everyday that he went without wearing armor or his formal furs, but once in a while, he enjoyed dawning the simpler attire when he spent a day at the palace. As he slowly made his way to the gates that surrounded the area of the hot springs, a small, almost nonexistent smile graced his lips at the sight of his beloved mate.
She was standing in the waist-deep, steaming water; currently, she was bent over, tending to Rin, who was splashing around in the water. Her deep, rich laugh echoed through the forestry that outlined the edge of the hot springs as she attempted to once again tie a bow in the young girl's hair. Lightly reprimanding her with a flick to the nose when she resisted, Kagura settled the fidgeting youngster down on her lap as she backed up and sat against a boulder. Humming a tune that was unfamiliar to Sesshomaru, her normally unforgiving red eyes were soft and gentle as she stroked Rin's hair, threading a bow through it and tying it up into pigtails. The wind sorceress hugged the young girl around the shoulders before letting her go, allowing her to wade back to shore and dry off before taking leave of the vicinities. Sesshomaru then watched from his place leaning against the fence as Kagura dunked her head underneath the water.
Deciding he should enter and alert her of his presence, he cleared his throat when she resurfaced. Her head whipped around, hand reaching for her fan that lay just a few feet away form her out of reflex. When she finally registered that it was none other than her mate that had intruded on her private bathing session, she relaxed again, letting a small, uncharacteristic smile slip from her features as he sat down cross-legged underneath a tree that resided a few yards away from where she was bathing. "My Lord...to what do I owe the honor?"
Scoffing at her formality, he inclined his head, telling her with body language that he wasn't going to say anything until she came and sat beside him. The woman before him crossed her arms and pouted, insinuating that she wasn't moving. Her defiance brought back unpleasant memories of his dream, and his exterior features stiffened, while his heartbeat kicked up a notch.
Slowly moving to his feet, his hands never left the sleeves of his haori as he stood on the bank of the hot spring, eyes downcast as his ears flicked back. He hated showing his weakness, but he knew she wouldn't be able to fully understand his worries if he didn't openly express them. "How do you feel about me?" It was a direct question, and although his voice remained stolid, his eyes gave him away as he looked upon her with curiosity.
Kagura gasped quietly at the strange, out-of-character question, then stood from her position and began walking toward him; she could see small insecurities flitting through the depths of his deep, golden-hued eyes, and she felt it was her job to extinguish all doubt. Pulling herself out of the water and standing close enough to feel his breath on her nose, she glanced up into his eyes. "How do I feel about you? What do you mean, koishii? I love you," she murmured, folding the collar of his kimono into a crisper, cleaner fashion just to keep her hands busy and avert her gaze from his intense one.
"That's not what I meant," he mumbled, letting out a soft growl, though it was not one of castigation. He could smell her uncertainty at his uncharacteristic actions, and he knew she liked it when she could feel the soft purr from deep within his chest; for some reason, it calmed her. "Answer truthfully, woman: do you think I am a monster."
At that question, her head snapped up, her crimson eyes suddenly taking on a rather angry look to them. "Why would I ever consider you a monster? Where is this coming from, Sesshomaru?" Her fangs glinted as she ground her teeth to keep her temper in check; why would this beautiful man ever think himself to be a monster?
Sesshomaru's narrow eyes widened slightly in shock at her aggression, but he tamped down his surprised expression in favor of baring his fangs to warn her to back off. "Are you honestly that dense, wench?" He brought his hand up in front of her face and waved it for effect. "See these sharp edges on the ends of my fingers? They're called claws, and they've done more than enough damage than is required of them. If you only knew how many creatures—human, demon, and both—I have slaughtered with these..."
"So? What's your point?" She crossed her arms and took a step backwards, resisting the urge to growl at his calling her dense.
The taiyoukai stopped himself from letting his normally dormant emotions surface, instead opening his mouth and pointing a slender finger at a deadly canine. "And these? Did you know they grow almost a foot longer when I transform? I've ripped through much more than my fair share of demons with these." Snapping his mouth shut, he closed the space between them by stepping forward, pressing her against his chest and growling almost ferociously. "And this growl? Many a time it has been the last thing an enemy hears before they die at my hands."
Kagura shook her head in confusion. "Where are you going with this, Sesshomaru?" Pulling from his embrace once more, she looked up into his twin pools of gold. He didn't have to say anything after that for her to comprehend what he meant; his eyes spoke volumes. "Koibito..." she began, tracing the lines that marked him as a powerful youkai, "...Sesshomaru, you're absolutely insane if you believe that I'll hold anything from your past against you...in case you've forgotten, we've both done things we're not entirely proud of." She was referring to being Naraku's servant, and at the mention of it, her head dropped in shame. "I've done more killing than I think I can atone for...but," her strong, russet orbs rose to meet his, and a small smile ghosted across her face, "But I know that you've forgiven me for all of the terrible things I've done, and, as a result, I forgive you for anything you've done in your past." She cupped his cheek. "Forgiveness is a two-way street, and you've made amends for your former misdoings, so I have absolutely no reason to believe you to be a monster."
He still looked slightly skeptical, so she tried a different method. Picking up his hand and tracing along the tips of his sharp talons, she kissed each one before continuing. "You know what I see when you show me these alleged 'deadly' claws? I see hands that are sure and steady as they fight to protect the people they love. Sure, they're razor-sharp, but you have the strength and willpower to keep them from harming me; they are gentle and anything but deadly when you trace them over my skin." For emphasis, she dragged his hand, including his fingernails, down her stomach and rested it on her hip. "And your fangs," she continued, pressing her fingers to his lips before pushing a forefinger inside to trace one sharp incisor, "When I look at your fangs, I see the very teeth that claimed me that one night almost a year ago. I see the fangs that marked me as yours, as the woman that you love." She brought her hand up and rubbed the bruise that was etched into the juncture of her neck and shoulder, then reached up and pushed his face down to where the mark was. She smiled when she felt his lips press to it, almost as if he was reestablishing that she was his. "And that growl..." she tried to hold in a groan as his once-feral growl calmed to a soothing rumble deep within his chest, "...that growl shows that you are unafraid, brave, and courageous. It once again proves your strength and willpower, for whenever I hear that growl, it is of a much more loving variety."
Laughing softly when he pulled her closer to him so she could press her head against his chest, she sighed at the feeling of complete content. "Do you understand my feelings toward you, now?"
Nodding, he ran his claws through her hair. "Hai, my love. Arigatou."
It literally took me forever and a day to come up with the ending, which is why it really sucks. The last line took me a few days to think of as an end, but whatever, at least the rest of it was okay. I eat up reviews like delicious cookies, so please feed me!