Summer in Stars Hollow- Rory's Threat

Disclaimer: They aren't mine. :'( Neither is Seinfield.

Author's Note: This has NOTHING to do with Snow in Stars Hollow or any other story for that matter. It's just another L/L story (of course)!

"Lukeykins!" Lorelai whined as she walked into the diner and sat at the counter.

"I'll ignore that horrible slaughter of what I think was supposed to be my name. What's the problem?"

"Rory threatened me!"

"Uh huh, you're exaggerating, what really happened?"

"She handed me this permission slip for a summer camp!"

"So?"

"So she'll be gone, ALL summer! What am I going to do?"

"Lorelai, you're overreacting. How much coffee have you had?"

"None." she lied obviously.

"None, closer to…" he looked at her a moment as if he had a visual caffeine gauge, "seven and a half cups?"

"AHH! Stalker!"

"No I'm not. Remember this morning when you were whining about only having seven and a half cups of coffee grounds left and it had to last you until tomorrow?"

"Oh yeah, well who's to say Rory didn't have a cup?"

"You sound like you've had 7 ½ cups of coffee."

"Shut up."

"Okay." Luke complied as he went to the kitchen to get a customer's food.

"No! Luke! You weren't supposed to listen! Come back!"

Luke came back out of the kitchen carrying two plates and delivered them to their tables and went back behind the counter. "Relax, there ARE other customers than you."

Lorelai gasped dramatically, "Gee Lukey, you sure know how to crush a girl's ego."

"It's what I'm here for."

"So what am I going to do Luke?"

"About what?"

"About Rory! She really wants to go, it's free, its educational, they're paying her to go!"

"So you don't want her to go, why?"

"What will I do all summer?"

"Well I'm glad you have Rory's best interests in mind." he smiled knowing he was annoying her for a change.

"Luke!" she whined.

"And I'm glad you think of me, and Sookie so highly as friends."

"Do you think you really want me hanging around here everyday, all the time…"

Luke raised an eyebrow, "And that's different, how?"

"Um, I'd be complaining about missing Rory."

"Oh, well I'm sure I could handle it."

Lorelai suddenly looked shocked, "Ohmigod."

"What?" Luke looked confused.

"My parents…"

"What about them?"

"Friday night dinner."
"Oh! Oh."

"Luke! What am I going to do? Who's going to protect me from Evil Emily and keep me company so I don't go insane?" she asked frantically.

"Well, quite frankly, as for your sanity, I think it's far too late for us to save that but I don't know about the protecting you from Evil Emily. She can't be that bad."

"Yes she can." Lorelai argued, "She hates Sherri because she thinks I'm supposed to be marrying Christopher! Luke, do you have any idea how miserable I'd be?!"

*you and me both* Luke thought. "Okay well maybe slightly malicious."

"No, you are slightly malicious when depriving me of coffee, which by the way, I need some. Emily Gilmore is just EVIL!"

Luke sighed, "I'm sure you'll think of something before then."

He said as he turned around to get the coffee and a cup for Lorelai.

"I hope so." She paused in thought, "maybe I could get a chronic disease!"

"It's not highly advised." Luke said as he gave her the coffee, "though if you keep drinking coffee like you do, then you just might get one."

"You know what a fun disease to have would be?"

"Hmm, 'fun disease', I'm sure that's an oxymoron but to humor you I'd say I can't think of any."

"Narcolepsy, well a mild case anyway. I mean you could take a nap whenever and just say you had a fit."

"Uh-huh." Luke nodded and moved slowly to take her coffee away.

"Eh! I don't think so mister!" She said as she slapped his hand away.

"I think you've had enough."
"No! You can never have enough coffee! I am not speaking to you for that outrageous comment!"

Luke smiled, he knew she couldn't keep it up long. They sat in silence for 4 ½ seconds.

"Luke! Say something!"

"I thought you weren't speaking to me."

"That doesn't' imply that you can't talk to me!"

"That would make for an awfully one-sided conversation wouldn't it?"

Lorelai stuck out her tongue, "That's your fault for saying something crazy like that."

"Hmm, okay. SO when does Rory go to this camp?"

"In two weeks."

"What kind of camp is it that's paying her to go?"

"Some kind of college based program, the only requirement is that neither parents could have graduated from college."

"Hmm, weird."

"Yeah. Well I should get back to my crazy daughter. Thanks Luke."

"No problem." Luke said as Lorelai paid for her coffee and left.

~*~

"Hey mom, feeling better?" Rory asked as Lorelai walked inside.

"Yes, much better evil daughter."

"Hmm, so what are you going to do all summer after I've 'abandoned' you?" Rory asked as Lorelai sat on the couch.

"Luke volunteered to be my friend!" Lorelai smiled.

Rory raised an eyebrow, "He has no idea what he's getting himself into." *Hmm, maybe they'll finally get together*

Lorelai grinned, "But it'll be fun when he does see what he's getting himself into!"

"Now I think you're happy about me leaving!"

"No, but I will have fun annoying Luke while you're gone!"

"Mom, how's that different from any other day?"

"Umm, I'll be complaining about what a horrible daughter you are for leaving me all alone for the entire summer."

"Okay, as long as there's something different." Rory said sarcastically.

"Do you think your grandmother would let us off this summer for Friday night dinners?"

"Well she's going to have to let me off but I think you'll still have to go. Sorry."

"Hmph." Lorelai pouted.

"You know you still have to sign the paper." Rory pointed out.

"Yeah, yeah. Why don't you rub it in, you don't have to see Evil Emily all summer!"

"Well yeah but I won't see everyone else either, like you, Dean, Sookie, Luke, and Jess."

"Hmm, that's true. Alright go get the paper and a pen."

Rory gave the paper and the pink fluffy feather pen to her mother.

Lorelai studied it, "Do you think Luke would mind being put on the emergency contact list?"

"Probably not. Do you even know his number?"

"Um, we have it somewhere. I think I put it on speed dial for when we did lose it."

"Are you saying you're going to call Luke and ask him his number?" Rory giggled.

"Hmm, that does sound a little weird doesn't it?"

"It's never stopped you before."

"I know!" Lorelai said as she began to search for the phone, "Ah! The phone and the remote are out pushing each other's buttons!" Lorelai said as they continued the search.

"Aha! I found it!" Rory said as she tossed the phone to her mother. "So what number is Luke?" Rory asked.

"One. Sookie's two, only because I got Luke's number the day we bought the phone."

"Uh-huh. So it has no ranking like that Seinfield episode?"

"No! Not talking to you!" Lorelai said as she pushed the talk button and one on the speed dial.

"Hey Luke, it's me. Lorelai.", "Yes, I do have a purpose.", "Okay, well, don't laugh too loud cuz you might scare the customers but what's your number?", "No I don't mean your favorite number, I mean your phone number!", "Yeah basically.", "Because I need it for that camp thing.", "Why?! Because in case there was an emergency and I disappeared and lost my cell phone, I wouldn't want them calling Evil Emily, or heaven forbid, Christopher!", "Yes, you're that important.", "I promise.", "Okay. Thanks Luke." Lorelai said as she wrote the number down and hung up.

"What did you promise?" Rory asked curiously.
"He made me promise I wouldn't harass him, calling him just to annoy him."

"Uh-huh."

~*~

AN: Sorry for the kinda abrupt ending but I wanted the next part to be a different chapter! –Bajo!