My perfect enemy.
A ray of light woke me up. My eyes were barely opening in a painful way before buring my head in the pillow. I remembered I fought against you, and won. Again. Sometimes I wondered if you did this intentionally, but this thought vanished pretty fast. You never would. After all, you considered me as your "perfect enemy". Your best enemy. I wasn't even surprised you left so quickly. You did it everytime you failed, like you were ashamed to look at me. A smile, almost amused slowly stretched my lips knowing that, in a little while, you'll pretend, do like nothing happened.
It seemed like I was right. When I came into the Combat Information Center, you saluted me like everyone else, except this slightly wrathful spark which I thought I distinguished in your dark eyes. I wanted to say something to you, but I didn't. Not in front of everybody. While waiting for Traynor and Cortez to come, I spoke with Garrus about the Normandy's fire systems, discussing about upgrading them. And you, each time my mouth was opened, you pretended to fix something broken, tapping on it loudly and stopped when I shut it. I pretend I didn't notice, knowing that you didn't need to fix anything. That childish behavior almost made me laugh, but I didn't, because I was respectful of the person I was talking with.
I didn't expect you to take revenge, which was going to be fun because victory was mine everytime. You may try, every time, you ended to submit. And each time, you left before I see you. I was pretty sure there was a feeling of humiliation growing inside you, so your hostility to me. My glance was distant when I tried to remember the last time I had lost the face. Had this ever happened ? The first time, you completly devoured me, and from that day, I swore to myself that would never happen again. Up to that point, I always held my word, and I was sure I would never break it.
"Shepard, are you listening to me ?"
"Hm...? Sorry, I was lost in my own thoughts.
"You're acting weird these days, and you're not alone..."
Garrus looked at Kaidan, still pretending to fix something, but I couldn't ask more as Traynor and Cortez arrive, breathless. His last sentence rang like an alert in my head without letting me hide what I felt. Where could have I done a mistake ? Kaidan's behavior didn't change too. Was he really observative ? I only thought about that... With the two latecomers' arrival, we could finally quit the Citadel, flying away into space. I moved around in the Normandy, talking with the crew but you, you seemed to stare at an infinite point, focused on your "work", probably pondering the disgrace you were subject to once again last night. Today, you're wearing bandages, hiding my visit, telling everyone you cut yourself while shaving. This made me laugh a bit. As you felt it, your eyes quit your target in order to target me, still smiling.
You don't blink nor say a word, your hostile look already speaks for you. Seeing my behavior, you give me a smile that I don't understand, before getting back to your "stuff". Oddly, the way you stretched your lips made me feel uneasy. You never felt, until now, any pride about our vicious cycle, it made you more easily annoyed but it seemed like something changed inside of you. The need to know was heavy but something in my mind kept telling me it wasn't going to be good for me. That smile, I already saw it. This thought made me shiver. When the morning meeting ended, everyone went away. You didn't act as usual since we start this little game. You didn't say a word, you looked at everyone but you only stared at me with an intense glare. I knew you more than anyone else, and one of the things I've learnt from you, my perfect enemy, is that you never attack head-on. But I didn't care your weird behaviour that day.
Anyway, I was sure to win. Always have. In the end, I always have you under my thumb. I went into my cabin, unconscious of what would follow next. When I heard the sweet sound of you walking outside the elevator getting closer to me, I didn't deign get up of my chair, to raise my eyes to you, despising you in some sort. Maybe I was, but I should say it was misplaced arrogance. You may be my perfect enemy, you won only once, and I was convinced that you would try again. I was barely up that your hand was posed fiercely on my shoulder, before tearing the thin strap off, projecting all the furniture on my desk on the ground without any consideration. Amazed by this gesture which did not look like you, I finally deigned to raise the eyes on your face, your eyes burning with desire. Still deafened, I didn't have the reflex to free myself, until your glance plant in mine, animated of a true desire which made my blood boil instead of cooling it. I had hardly time to assimilate what was going on, still in a stupor state, you grabbed me violently the collar before crushing furiously your lips against mine while making me move back, stumbling against the char on which I was sat a few seconds earlier.
We fell on the ground, you didn't released me, continuing to look at me with these so strange sparks in your eyes, literally forcing the way between my lips. I had just understood that I was losing my mind. A wave of irritation took possession of me, trying to sit up but you didn't let me. I opened my eyes wide whereas you curtly folded back my arms which I had raised as a sign of opposition against the ground, the bones of my wrists running up against it, making me release a complaint I tried to choke. With you satisfied half smile, I have deduced that I hadn't succeeded. My face showed irritation while I realized that I couldn't free my hands, despite my force that I thought much higher than yours. It wasn't the case here obviously, not when you were in this state.
My legs moved in vain, struggle under you, you didn't seem to be affected, still scanning at me with your fire glance. This body I had always found to be frail despite your muscles seemed made of lead now. Always immobilizing me, you furiously attacked my lips, biting them without any compassion under a painful growl of me. You decided to take revenge, right ? In vain, I tried to get back on top, each try of mine, you found the way more savagely to put me back in my place, bitting my neck more aggresively. Your incandescent glare never leaving me, while I breathed deeply in order to keep control. Not to give you what you wanted. I was conscious that you were not yourself, I tried to resist but my body reacted. While you were kissing me, I felt your hands releasing mine. Free at last, I didn't mean to push you back, on the other hand, I was trying to attract you. You ripped my uniform off and continued to kiss my chest. I was on fire. Suddenly you stopped. You approached your mouth of my hear and whispered:
"That's enough"
Only these words, before you rose and disappeared into the elevator, without addressing only one glance to me. I remained on the ground, panting and taking again my breath, one good moment before finally getting up. You had left on only one half-victory, whereas you could, for the second time, to have me. To gain this part. But you didn't. Why? I, who knew you in depth, knew each one of your reactions, and how to bring them, I did not understand anything anymore. You are and you'd still be my perfect enemy until the day we will be free.