Ok, I'm going to pretend that Yuugi can see Yami/Atem when he's separated from Yuugi's body in spirit form. And for the lyrics: lyrics means Atem, lyrics means Anzu, lyrics means Atem and Anzu. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or "Can't Love Me" by It's Alive.
Can't Love Me
Atem's spirit stood in the corner of Yuugi's room of the ship they were sailing on. They had long since chosen their decks and had prepared for the Final Battle. However, something still tugged at the back of the Pharaoh's mind, like he had forgotten to do something.
Yuugi opened another soda and took a drink. He glanced at the spirit. "Is there anything you want to do one last time, Atem?"
Atem glanced out the window at the dark Nile passing by. He was finally home, and yet, he was filled with unimaginable dread. He wanted to go to the After Life…No…He needed to, had to. His responsibilities were finished. His time was over. But he didn't want to.
"No, Yuugi." He answered simply.
Yuugi nodded and slowly took another sip. He noticed the cartouche hanging from Atem's neck. He had worn it ever since Anzu had given it to him. Yuugi nodded towards it. "I'm surprised you're still wearing that."
Atem glanced down at the simple necklace. Once he had returned from the past, he had, like Anzu had told him, carved his name into it.
'Anzu…'
Atem reached for it, holding it in his hand and feeling the tiny weight of it. He suddenly knew why he felt such dread about leaving. And why he was feeling as if he had forgotten something. He glanced back at Yuugi.
"Yuugi, there is something I wish to do before tomorrow."
Yuugi set his soda can down on the coffee table. "Yeah? What?"
X
Anzu sat at the small vanity table that was in her ship apartment. She hummed sadly to herself as she slowly and carefully brushed her short, chestnut colored hair. She was trying to not think too much about the following day. She knew that it could very well be the last day that she would ever see Yami again.
Even though they had learned of Yami's real name, she still called him 'Yami' because that had been the name they had learned of on their date. It was a small way for her to hold on to the past.
Midstroke, she paused and then lowered the brush down to the smooth, finished wood top of the table. She cupped her face in her hands, and placed her elbows on the table top. She fought to hold in her tears.
She was in love with Yami. She knew that if –when- he crossed over, a part of her would follow after him. He didn't belong in her world. She kept trying to tell herself that, but it didn't help. She wanted him to stay. Forever and always.
She knew that was selfish, though. Yami had to go. That's all there was to it. He would leave and she and her friends would…Would what? Return to their normal lives? What normal life? It had been so long since she had had one that she didn't know what a normal life was anymore. She figured that now she would finally be able to focus on her dancing. She wanted to go to New York and study ballet.
Anzu lifted her face and stared at herself in the small, oval mirror. No. She didn't want to go to New York. She had once told Yami that her heart was telling her to study dance, but now, her heart was telling her something different. It was telling her that she wanted to stay by Atem's side.
And now she was back to the thought of how that was impossible because he had to leave. She had come full circle. Groaning at the annoyingness of it all, she stood. Deciding that she needed some fresh air, she left the small apartment and headed up to the deck of the ship.
X
"You want to see Anzu?" Yuugi raised a brow.
Atem nodded. "Would it be alright if I borrowed your body to speak with her for a few minutes? Alone?"
Yuugi stood. "Yeah, sure. But why?"
Atem glanced back out the window. "Yuugi, you care for Rebecca Hawkins, do you not?"
Yuugi blushed lightly. "Well…yeah, but what does she have to do with Anzu?"
Atem slowly turned to look once more at Yuugi. His crimson eyes had an almost blank, soulless look to them. "Yuugi, if you had to leave forever, would you not want to say one last goodbye to Rebecca?"
Yuugi's shoulders drooped as he nodded slowly. "Atem…do you…love Anzu?"
Atem pushed away from the wall and slowly went to Yuugi. "Yuugi…can I simply leave that one question unanswered?"
Yuugi nodded. He could see the answer in Atem's eyes. The puzzle hanging from Yuugi's neck began to glow and the two fused together. As they fused, Atem took hold of Yuugi's jacket, pulling it so that it hung from his shoulders. As the jacket passed before his face, it changed into that of Atem's.
Atem turned and strode towards the door. He opened it and exited the room, heading towards Anzu's room. He felt Yuugi fade into his mind room and close the door. He was going to give them some privacy.
'Thank you, Aibou.'
Atem stopped before Anzu's door. He knocked and waited for an answer. None came so he tried again. There was still no answer. Worry began to seep into the Pharaoh.
"Anzu?" He called, opening the door.
He entered the small room and searched with his eyes. The bed was made in the corner, her duffle resting on top of it. Anzu was not in the room. He noticed that she had left some items on her vanity table. He slowly went to it and brushed his fingers over the bracelets she had left beside her hairbrush.
"Anzu…" He whispered.
Melancholy entered him. After his duel with Yuugi, there was a possibility that he would never again see her fiddle with her bangles when she was nervous. Never see her lithe body twirl so passionately to the music that inspired her. Never again see her azure eyes burn with such a zealous fire that belong to her alone. Never touch her again…Granted, he had never actually touched her himself, save the few times that they had when they had all been sent to the past. His fingers brushed a perfume bottle. He fingered the blue glass bottle. He would never smell her intoxicating scent again. There was so much left undone. And yet, so little time.
He turned away from her table and began to walk towards the door, deciding to look for her on the deck of the ship. Something caught his eye on her bed and he stopped. He changed direction and headed towards her bed. A small, pink book sat beside her duffle.
He assumed that it was a journal of some sort. He also knew that it would be wrong to read it. But, quite frankly, he didn't care at the moment. He picked it up and flipped to the most recent entry. It was dated earlier that day.
Yami and Yuugi will be dueling tomorrow. Is it bad that I want Atem to win? I don't want him to leave, but I know he has to. I want him to stay here with us. With me.
I want to tell him how much I love him before he leaves. But, I don't know if he feels that way about me. And I don't want to make it awkward.
I know that when he leaves, a part of me will follow after him. I've never felt this way before. It's like…I'm standing on the edge of a cliff and I'm about to fall over. If I fall over, I will die, but be with the man I love forever. But, if I move away from the edge, to safety, I'll be alive and unhappy.
What do I choose?
Blissful death? Or anguished life?
Is this how Atem feels? I doubt it. He's going to be with his friends from before. With Mana, Seto, and Mahado. I bet he can hardly wait.
I can, though. I could wait forever right here, right now.
Atem closed the book gently and placed it exactly back where he had found. He had to find Anzu. If his leaving was going to cause her such pain, he had to at least tell her how he felt. How he wanted her to keep living her life after he had gone.
He turned and rushed for the door. As his hand reached for the knob, it turned. Atem looked wide eyed as the door opened and Anzu entered. She gasped when she saw him standing before her.
"Yami…" She glanced around her room. "What are you doing here?"
"I was looking for you, Anzu. I wanted to tell you goodbye before tomorrow." Atem stepped aside so that she could enter.
She entered and walked to the center of the room where she stopped and folded her arms over her chest. She refused to look at him. He moved closer to her, stopping a mere foot behind her.
"Well…goodbye and good luck. I'll be cheering for you." Her voice was hollow.
You can find the rhythm in the sound of passing cars
"Anzu…" Atem wanted her to cheer for him, but at the same time he didn't. She would be wasting her energy cheering for him. He had always believed that one day Yuugi would surpass him in every way and he had a gut feeling that tomorrow would be that day.
Anzu shrank into herself, her fingers tightening around her slender arms. "I know you'll be happier once you've crossed over, Atemu."
Atem glanced away. She had addressed him by his formal name. She very rarely used that name with him, choosing to instead use the name that Ishizu had addressed him by on their date so many years ago. He knew that meant that she wanted their farewell to be platonic and proper. He didn't, though. He was tired of being platonic and proper around her.
You can smell the blood in the river of broken hearts
Atem reached out his arms and wrapped them around her shoulders, pulling her back against his chest. He felt something wet drop against his bare arm and knew she was crying. His hold tightened. He rested his chin on the top of her head.
"It will be nice to see my old friends again, Anzu. However, I will not be wholly happy. I'm leaving behind my friends here." He spoke quietly.
Another tear splashed against his arm. "Well…you'll be happier there than here. Here you always have to fight. There you won't have to."
"Maybe I like fighting, Anzu. Granted having the stake of the fate of the world on your shoulders isn't a very enjoyable reason. However, I do enjoy dueling. It's all I've ever known in this life and my last."
"You need a new hobby." Anzu muttered.
Atem chuckled. "Maybe. However, my love for dueling is no different than your love of dance. It's rooted deep in our hearts."
Anzu tensed and his body responded to her stress. "Yeah, dancing…It makes me happy." Her voice was empty again.
Steal some old pictures and deliver a work of art
Atem squeezed her gently. "It's starting to sound like we're putting words into the other's mouth."
"What do you mean?" She asked quietly.
Atem moved back slightly and turned her to face him. He cupped her face between his hands and stared deeply into her sapphire eyes, reading the pain and hurt etched into them. "I…do not really want to go. I want to stay here, but I must return to where I belong. Leaving will not make me happy. And it sounds like you no longer wish to dance."
Anzu met his gaze. "My heart isn't telling me to dance anymore."
Atem thought back to her journal. I want to tell him how much I love him before he leaves…I know that when he leaves, a part of me will follow after him…Blissful death? Or anguished life?
"What is your heart telling you now?" He asked softly, almost fearful of her answer.
A delicate pink blush painted her cheeks. "It's telling me that…I…that I no longer wish to dance." She glanced away from him.
"You're lying. It's telling you something else too." Anzu glanced back up.
She swallowed lightly. "It's also telling me that I care about you a lot." She whispered.
Yeah, yeah, but you can't love me anymore (Yeah)
"Anzu…you know that you are one of my best friends, correct?"
Anzu nodded in his hands sadly. "Yes, Yami. I know that. You're one of my best friends, too."
"I want you to know that I would not have changed anything about our time together, Anzu." His eyes searched hers as they darkened.
"I would have changed a lot about our time together." She grumbled.
Yami raised a brow. "Really? What?" He removed his hands from her face and folded his arms over his chest.
Nervously she began to fiddle with the bangle she wore on her wrist. Atem smiled lightly at the endearing habit. "Well…first of all, I would have changed Johnny stepping in, so to speak, on that date. And later, when I was talking to you on Kaiba's blimp. I would have told you…" She trailed off and looked away.
Atem's arms dropped to his side. "Told me what?" He already knew, because he too had wanted to tell her the truth that day as well.
She blushed adorably and took a steadying, deep breath as she looked into his eyes. "Yami…I…I love you."
Yeah, but you can't love me...
"Anzu…" He wanted to tell her the truth. However, now that the time was here to do so, he wondered if it was wise to do so. Perhaps if he broke it off cleanly with her, she would be able to recover. "Anzu, I do not return those feelings."
Anzu winced at his cold tone. "Yami…" His eyes were colder than his voice, darker than blood.
I could build a bridge to my heart and lead the way
"I care about you a great deal, Anzu-chan. However, I do not love you." Atem continued. 'I am truly sorry, Anzu.'
Anzu took a stumbling step back, eyes wide and fighting back tears. "Yami…"
"I am sorry, Anzu-chan." Atem turned his head away, no longer wishing to look at her pain. Pain that he had caused.
Anzu shook her head, her hair swirling around her head. "No, Yami that can't be true." Her voice was full of denial. "Yami, what about all the Shadow Games were I was taken hostage? When you saved me twice from a pervert at work? When that bomber was going to blow up the gondola I was in? When you challenged Johnny to a duel? When Marik had me under his mind control and called me away after the finals, you were the only one who noticed I was gone and went after me. And when the train was separating, you called out to me. Not Jonouchi or Honda. Our second date when we returned to Domino City after the finals. Everything. How do you explain that?"
Atem's hands fisted. "You needed help and I assisted you."
I could build a home for your world I could not betray
"Well, why did you have to be so convincing? I must have been such a bother to you. Why not just have told any number of villains to have their way with me? Why not have just let Kokurano have his way with me that one time? You had so many opportunities to finally be rid of me, but you kept coming back." She began to shake. Atem wasn't sure if it was from rage or sadness.
"It would have been wrong of me to not have helped you since I knew you were in danger."
Anzu whirled away from him. "Atemu. Please leave me alone. Good luck tomorrow and goodbye."
Atem reached a hand towards her, but slowly lowered it back to his side. "Of course, Anzu. Goodbye."
Keep you safe always
Atem turned to leave when he heard a sob from behind him. He turned back to see Anzu's shoulder shaking as she cupped her face in her hands. His heart shattered. He slowly went to her and pulled her to him and held her. She buried her face into his leather covered chest and cried.
"I…don't….want you….to go!" She cried out.
Atem held her tightly. "You know I have to leave."
She shook her head. "I know that. And I don't care if you don't love me back. Nothing you say will ever change the way I feel about you, Yami."
Yeah but you can't love me anymore (always)
"Anzu…you would be wasting your time on me. Even if it's not dancing, you need to continue doing something else with your life once I'm gone. I don't want you to be miserable." He pulled back so that he could look down at her face. "You're too precious to not live your life." Atem stared into her wet, sapphire eyes.
"I know you love me, Yami. Just please, stop denying it and tell me the truth." Anzu whispered fiercely.
"I don't want to hurt you unnecessarily, Anzu."
"I'll be hurt either way, Yami. We both will be. But, do you really want to leave things like this?" She begged.
Atem closed his eyes and sighed heavily. "I care about you deeply, Anzu-chan."
His eyes flew open when Anzu grabbed his upper arms. She glared up at him. "I never would have thought that the King of Games would be scared to admit his feelings to a little girl. I guess without your deck you're just a frightened little boy."
Atem growled and grabbed her shoulders roughly, causing her arms to fall back to her sides. He pulled her closer to him and glared down at her. She returned his glare.
Yeah but you can't love me...
Atem's lips crashed against Anzu's. Their lips moved roughly against the others, relishing the feeling. Anzu's hands tangled in his unruly tri-colored hair as his traveled down her body to rest at her hips. Anzu moaned loudly as Atem pushed her back until she was pressed against the wall.
Always
Anzu's lungs began to burn as her oxygen ran out. Atem soon released her lips as the need for air also made a claim on him. They panted heavily as Atem rested his forehead against hers. Their eyes were half lidded as they gazed into the each others.
"Very well. I admit it. I lied. I am in love with you, Anzu-chan."
Anzu smiled. "Now, was that so hard?"
Always
Atem's eyes darkened as he moved away from her. "Yes, because it still does not change the fact that I will be leaving tomorrow."
Anzu frowned. "Well…I'm at least happy that now I won't spend the rest of my life wondering."
"Wondering what?" He asked her.
Anzu smiled contentedly. "What if felt like to kiss you. If you loved me too."
Atem didn't want to break her heart and tell her that she hadn't really kissed him. She had kissed him through Yuugi's body. "Now you know." He replied simply.
Always
Anzu stepped closer to him and placed her hand on his arm, lightly feeling the strong, wiry muscle beneath his soft skin. "Now I would not change a thing about our time together."
Atem smiled lightly. "If you change your answer, I think I shall change mine."
Anzu raised a brow. "What would you have changed?"
"The fact that I have to leave. If I could, I would stay here in my own body." He answered quietly.
Anzu's eyes saddened. "I've already accepted that can't be changed."
Yeah
He nodded. "As have I."
Yeah
Anzu swallowed heavily. "So, I guess this is goodbye."
Atem's eyes narrowed. "I guess it is."
"How do we go about this, Yami?" She whispered like a frightened child.
He thought for a moment. "I don't know."
Her grip on his arm tightened. "I'm scared."
Oh whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
"Me, too." He whispered. And he wasn't lying. He had never felt this way, except for the time he had lost Yuugi's soul in his duel with Rafael.
Anzu searched his eyes. "Will you stay with me tonight? Just until I fall asleep?" She pleaded quietly.
Atem nodded his head slowly. He could not deny her this last request. Her hand slipped down to his hand and she led him over to the bed. She knocked the duffle and journal to the floor and laid down, pulling Atem with her. They both blushed lightly as they lay on the bed together. Anzu was spooned against his front as she faced the wall, away from him. Atem wrapped his arms around her slender waist. He buried his face in the crook of her neck.
Yeah
"Talk to me." She whispered softly.
"What do you want me to say?" He asked. He pressed a light kiss to the back of her neck and he felt her shiver.
"Anything. I just want to hear your voice."
Atem thought for a moment. "I'll never forget the first time I saw you. It was through Yuugi's eyes at Burger World. His anxiety about your safety is what roused me from my mind room. When that snake slapped you, I was raged enough to murder him. I some how managed to keep my darkness at bay and only challenge him to a Shadow Game.
"You were the most beautiful, purest being I had ever since. I think that was when I first fell in love with you, Anzu."
Anzu grinned. "Even though I had only heard your voice, I had fallen in love with you that day, too."
Always
Atem smiled. "It's almost poetic. The first time you met me, you only heard my voice. And now you ask to hear my voice before I leave you."
His calming tone was beginning to lull her to sleep. "I love you, Yami."
Yeah, but you can't love me anymore (always)
Atem breathed in, burning her scent into his memory. She smelt sweeter than any rose. "And I love you, Anzu-chan."
Anzu's lids fluttered close and her breathing became steady. She murmured his name as sleep took her over. Atem pushed himself up and looked down at her. He brushed her hair back from her face so he could see it better. He pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead. He lay back down and pulled her against his chest. In her sleep, she unconsciously moved closer to his warmth, rolling over so that so could place an arm over his waist. Atem held her as she slept, his eyes searching her face, committing it to memory.
The path to get here had been long and winding, and he still had not reached the end. He didn't know what the future would hold, but he knew that now he and Anzu would have some form of peace. Even if he had to leave her forever.
"I love you," he murmured as he allowed sleep to possess him as well. He had never felt so complete in his life. As if he were a puzzle and the final piece had been placed down. He smiled lightly as the last of his thoughts swirled through his mind. He supposed that he was a puzzle, after all. He was only there through the power of the Millennium Puzzle...And Anzu was the holder of the last piece of his heart.
Yeah, but you can't love me...
Review please!
~Azarath101