AN: So I've been a fan of Heathers for quite a while before finding out there was a musical. My dad and I watched it on Netflix together once when my mom and brother were gone, my dad was all, "Hey, there's this movie we could watch that I think you're old enough to see now, it's got Winona Rider in it, I know you like her," and so he kind of told me what it was about and we got it on Netflix, and...yeah. I just didn't get into it enough to write fan fic until just recently, though, that's all.

I've also taken up an interest in maybe seeing the musical someday if I ever get the chance, I've been watching videos and stuff on YouTube and Tumblr, and I'm already in love with the music ("Candy Store" won't get out of my head!), and after I watched that video of "Seventeen" being performed at that Barnes & Noble, the lyrics put this idea into my head of, "What if..." And so I went and I looked up exactly what the song's context is in the musical (from Wikipedia; "After the funeral JD proposes the idea of hurting Heather Duke since she spread the rumors but Veronica wishes they could stop killing and just be normal (Seventeen)." The funeral it refers to is Kurt and Ram's funeral and the rumors are the ones about how they, to quote the movie, "had a swordfight" in Veronica's mouth), and after reading that, it only ingrained this idea even further into my head, so yeah, that's how this came about.

And anyone who's familiar with the songs from the musical is TOTALLY going to recognize shit from "Seventeen" in this chapter, yeah, because I went and I looked up the lyrics, then translated them into a conversation that mostly consists of Veronica-to-J.D. AAAnd I also found the movie script online, and I use that at the beginning of this chapter and in future chapters, as well. I've actually gotten what for me is really good progress on this so far, and the next few chapters will be up like TODAY since they're already done.

Anyway, I'll shut up and let you read.

Oh, and before I forget, Veronica and J.D. don't belong to me, nor do Kurt, Ram, the Heathers, and/or anybody else mentioned in this chapter.

Dear Diary,

My teen angst bullshit has a body count. The most popular people in school are dead. Everybody is sad, but it's a weird kind of sad. Suicide gave Heather depth, Kurt a soul, Ram a brain. I don't know what it's getting me, but I've got no control over myself when I'm with J.D. Are we going to prom or to hell?

"You know," a voice said, "prom and hell are pretty much synonymous unless you're popular enough to end up prom royalty, which we're obviously not."
Veronica nearly jumped out of her skin, yanking her monocle off her face and letting it hang from the cord around her neck as her pen landed with an unceremonious clunking sound on her desk. "Don't do that, J.D.," she said, not even turning to look at him. She could feel him hovering nearby, close enough to see her big, loopy handwriting on the pages of her diary, but far enough that she hadn't realized he was there until he'd spoken. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," he said finally. Veronica sighed and shook her head, closing the diary and turning to face him in her chair. "What do you want?" she asked. There was a long pause.

"I, uh, was thinking," J.D. said finally, rubbing the back of his neck, "about how Heather Duke spread those rumors about you and Kurt and Ram. And I thought, hey, what if we—"
"No, J.D., no more killing," Veronica interrupted. "I don't wanna...I'm not forging anymore suicide notes, I don't care what you say, I'm done. I told you, my Bonnie and Clyde days are over."

"Don't you want to finish what you started?"
"What I started? You're the one that gave Heather that stuff in the first place!"
"Oh, come on, Veronica, she got what was coming to her, they all did, you know that!"

"You need help, J.D., like serious help!"
"What, like you're not fucked up, too?!"

At first, Veronica felt as if she'd been slapped. At least I'm not a sociopathic nutjob who brings guns to school and fires blanks at people just for pissing me off! she wanted to say, but then stopped short as his words really sank in. He was right. She was fucked up. Maybe not as much as he was, but just the same.

"Fine," she said finally, "so we're damaged. We're both really damaged. But that doesn't mean anything. We're not special, or different, we don't get to pick who does and doesn't live. God, J.D., let's just be normal, okay? Let's...Let's go see bad movies, sneak beer, watch TV, maybe make some stupid brownies or go bowling or something, I mean, don't you want a life together? I just wanna be seventeen, can't we do that? Just let me in, we could be good together. Look, people hurt us sometimes, or—or—"

"Or vanish," J.D. said. Veronica nodded.
"Yeah, or vanish," she agreed. "And you're right. It blows. It totally blows. But we have to let go and take a deep breath, go buy some summer clothes, go camping or canoeing and eat some fucking chili fries and get fucking heart attacks or some shit. Maybe go to prom together and dance, 'cause I keep looking in your eyes, and..."

"You've got such beautiful eyes," J.D. said quietly.
Veronica smiled weakly at him. "Can't we just be seventeen?" she asked again. "Is that...Is it really so hard to do? 'Cause I'm serious, we could be really good together if you'd just let me the hell in, J.D., and if we still have the right after what we've done, then I wanna fucking be seventeen with you. What's it gonna be? 'Cause I know my choice, I want to fucking be with you, dammit."

"I wanna be with you, too, Veronica."
"Tonight, and...always, maybe. Like I said, we're damaged."

"Badly damaged," J.D. corrected, and she nodded.
"But...your love is too good to lose. Hold me, J.D. Hold me tight, hold me close, 'cause if I'm what you choose, then I'll stay."

J.D. stared at her for a long moment, and she was afraid that he was going to say no, that he was going to just jump back into trying to convince her to fake another suicide note or something. But when he spoke, he said what she had both been hoping for and thinking she wouldn't get to hear.

"You're the one I choose. You win, Veronica. If we still have the right, then okay. Let's be seventeen together."

"Really?"
"Really. You're the one I choose."

They just stood there staring at each other for a moment or so, and then, not knowing what else to do, they kissed. It was no different than their past kisses; intoxicating, addictive, and perfectly fucked up on so many levels, but also perfectly right on so many other levels. But at the same time, it was also nothing like those other kisses. This one was...more gentle somehow, more...caring. It was just a normal kiss between two teenagers in love. J.D.'s hands started to creep up underneath Veronica's top, but before it could progress any further, they heard her mother yell, "Veronica, dinner!" They broke apart, and J.D. started heading for the window. "I'll see you at school tomorrow," he said. She nodded.

"No more killing?"
"No more killing."
"You promise?"
"I promise."

She stared at him with wide eyes. He flashed a crooked grin, pulling his leg back in through the window and going back over to her, pulling her into his arms. "You're the one I choose," he whispered.

"Veronica, dinner is ready, come down and eat!"

J.D. kissed her one more time, then hurried back over to the window and climbed out. Veronica sighed, then took the monocle from around her neck and set it down on her desk. "Coming, Mom!" She glanced back at the window one more time as her hand rested on the doorknob. "I'm holding you to that promise," she muttered, and then she turned the knob and went down to dinner.

J.D., sitting out on the section of roof just outside her window, chuckled as he lit a cigarette. "Yeah," he said to the empty night air. "Yeah, I'm holding myself to it, too, darling."

Okay, so you might think he gave in a little too easily there for it to be believable with his character, but remember, this is my version of a "what if?" scenario, so I can do what I want with it, TROLOLOL! Jk. Seriously, though, it's a "what if?" so...yeah. Also, the thing about prom and hell being synonymous? I got that idea from my brother. We were watching it the other day, and he's got this habit of commenting on stuff in movies and talking/responding to the characters, usually with at least a little bit of sarcasm thrown in there, and when we were watching it the other day and Veronica asked if she and J.D. were going to prom or to hell, my brother, from over on the couch, pipes up and goes, "Both. They're the same thing." And I thought that was just too good not to use in this, so I translated it into J.D. speak and then stuck it in here. :P