Hey!

So I have read many SELF-INSERT stories of ocs who are stuck or reborn into a canon chara but it is always the same either it's Sakura, Naruto, Hinata or an oc related to someone of the main cast. That's cool and seriously those stories are awesome but what about those that don't get much screen-time.

And so I sat down and thought wich character I should abuse.

And I found one^^

Hope you enjoy it!

Sry that my note is so crappy written it's already past midnight and I am so tired but I wanted to publish it tonight.

I've had it.

I've had it.

I've had it!

I'VE HAD IT!

I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!

I've had enough of this godforsaken world, of my godforsaken life, of my damn family and their expectations, of their disappointed gazes when I do something they consider wrong.

I have simply enough of all of this!

Day after day, Week after week, month after month, year after year I willed myself not to give in the sweet temptation of death, I willed myself not to give up, to fight on.

However every person has a breaking point no matter how strong-willed the person is.

And I guess, I started to break a few years ago, and now I can't simply bear it to wake up like every morning just to go through the same routine, day-in and day-out.

It's unbearable to do the same things everyday. I want change no I need change.

Alas I know that things will never change, cause there is nothing to change. Everything is in order, going smoothly, working well like a well-oiled machine.

But I can't bear it. This monotone life. It's so depressing, I feel so oppressed!

From the day you are born your life is already predestined for you.

At the tender age of 4 you start no need, to go kindergarten, then at 6 you need to go the grade school, then visit a secondary school where your future is determined according your grades you get, and then you either search for a place to work at or go on to a university and study some crap.

Booooring.

Why can't we be free? Why do we need to go through all of this?

Even in my childhood I was a free spirit-or I thought so of myself, you know with being a child you practically are not able to choose between the right or wrong course of action, according to adults, who seem so much wiser, who are smarter, who think that they know what right or wrong is, who think that they have the right to choose or you- to choose your life.

Why? They are adults, they know what's good for me. They know what's right and wrong for me.

They choose for their own sake not mine.

I never had a choice in this life, because everything was already decided for me the day I took my first breather, the day I could even move my finger not anything.

They have already chosen- no created a life for me to live for them. I was already caged at my fist second on this world. My fate was already chained from 0.

I grew up like every baby needs to.

I was a pretty cute child, doing everything my parents wanted me to do.

I always wanted to please them, I always wanted to be praised when I did something they deemed right, they deemed good, but I had no idea that I was already being manipulated by those two adults that I call my parents.

I was naïve, I was blind, I was just a child that aimed to please those that brought her to this beautiful place- in y childish eyes.

I had no idea, what years later I would realize. What years later would change my view of this world.

Till the graduation of grade school I was still that naïve brat, that aimed to be perfect for her parents.

I would always receive good grades, I would always to my homework on time, I want study hours just to receive praises from both my teachers and parents, I would always be nice and polite to everyone, just to be the perfect child..

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I loved it when my parents praised me but I loved it more when my father praised me. I was such suck-up for him. Always trying to please him. Yet he rarely praised me. He rarely seemed to be pleased by me, I was always imperfect.

At that age I could not comprehend why he was that cold to me, I could not understand it. I always strived to be acknowledged by him. But it never came. Still,I hoped that one day I would get that I wish so much for. I hoped that I get that what I desired so strongly for.

With the years passing by, I realized that would not be the case. I realized I would never get what I wanted.

I realized no matter what I do I would not be the child that he would think of as praiseworthy.

With this realization, I slowly became bitter, hatred bubbled up from the bottom of my soul. And I became the child that rebelled against everything her parents wanted. I rebelled against everything that my parents thought was right.

I felt oppressed, I felt caged. I felt breathless because their expectations grew with my growing up.

They expected so much from me always sugar-coating that they only want the best for me, but secretly wanting the best for their own.

I became disgusted. It was revolting. An ugly sight to look at. I wanted out of here. I wanted out.

It hit me really hard. Seeing the ugly truth of this world.

For the first time in my life I saw the darkness in this world. It was terrifying. Imagine when your parents are already using you than what about the people outside there?

They would be ten-times more unforgiving and I hated that. I hated that with that wake-up realization my whole colorful world turned into ugly shades of black.

It truly hurt. I had so much on my tiny shoulders for I realized that no-one of my peers had realized what I realized, had seen what I saw everyday.

Everyone of them didn't know the darkness this world possessed.

Everyone was blind, was naïve, was happy.

I wanted them to see it.

I wanted them to know it, that this world is no unicorn-ranch with rainbows that could be eaten if you wanted, that the streams were not filled with honey and milk, that the clouds are not cotton-candies, that the birds are not roasted chicken.

I wanted them to wake up and see the ugly truth. Just like me. I wanted them to suffer like me.

I wanted them to be in emotional agony just like me.

I did not want them to be foolishly happy.

I hated it.

I hated how they ignored everything and lived in their shiny world.

I hated how they could be this happy when outside their the darkness became so much darker.

I could not belive their ignorance. I hated it because I wanted to be happy again. I wanted to be naïve again! I wanted to be ignorant again. I wanted to live again. I wanted my innocence back! I wanted it back!

But I would never get it back. I had my eyes been opened, and I saw the ugliness of this godforsaken world.

So I wanted out.

I did nor care anymore.

I did everything half-heartedly.

I never did anything for school anymore. My grades dropped. I started to skip many lessons. I did get in trouble for it. Oh and what trouble. I always promised I would not skip anymore. But I did not keep the promise because I did not care anymore.

My parents and I started to argue lot more than usual, and I started to hate them, but my father more.

He always insulted me. He always mocked me in front of friends, relatives, and even outside among unknown people.

He also became physically abusive. He hit me from time to time, leaving ulcers here and there or bruises.

I hated it.

But what mostly made me emotional depressive was his verbal abuses.

His words became more and more hurtful.

I suffered under those words. But he didn't care. He simply didn't care. And it hurt me.

I could not go on anymore. My mask was slipping. I could not bear it anymore.

I fled into the world of manga and anime and fanfiction.

They became my anchors.

However those were also taken away from me from him.

As if taking away my joy and will to live away was not enough, he took away those things that held me here, that brought some meaning into this dark world.

I hated him more than ever.

In my head I started to make up scenarios about how I could kill him the most cruel and painful way.

I hated him so much that when I was in his presence I could not sit still because my lust to see his blood was so high that I always hallucinated about his death by my hands.

My hate for him was so strong. He took everything away from me.

Day after day it got worse and I honestly thought of suicide.

I thought everything through. How it would be the most painless death and what not.

I researched on the internet. Truly laughable. Hahaha.

I truly researched it. The most painless death would be with an overdosis of sleeping-pills. But those were only given by a doctor who only gave them to depressed people or those who could not not sleep at all.

I cursed all the laws for it.

Once again I was shackled down hopelessly.

My mood was always bad. My mother did not understand me and have hope up. My father- I don't want to talk about him.

The days in germany were getting harder to live through.

It was such a gloomy and bleak country. I got the distinct feeling that it was sentenced to be like this forever because of the wrongdoings of the late people that once lead this country trough crass and full of bloodshed wars. I guess this country needed to suffer forever in gloominess. I hated it more and more.

Slowly I was being consumed by hatred and bitterness towards this world and it's people. I hated it.

I hade only one choice. Death-my best way out.

So I did what I needed to do and jumped in front of a incoming-train. The hit was so fast that I did not understand what happened. I was flung to the found onto the track and the train drove over my body. The last thing I heard where screaming of people at the train station.

However I did not care. I was happy,I was finally being released from this chains that shackled me down. Free from the the pain. Free at least.

If one could still recognize me and my face they would see my small smile.

Enlightenment.

And everything went according to my plan.

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Or so I thought... why am I in this cramped darkness? I thought that as a soul I would be transported to heaven or hell if those existed. But why I am in this cramped place?

Waking up here, in this cramped space is not comfortable. I thought that my suffering came to an end.

Ugh! I. want. more. room!

Maybe kicking would help... Yeah let's try it!

kICK And kICk aND Kick !

*PSHRR*

Oh shit.. what did I break?

"KYAAA! ITAI!"

Err... huh?

"Anata, daijoubu desu ka ?"

"ZENZEN! BAKA!"

"A-Ah sou desu ka? Gomen ne."

"KUJIIRO! HAYAKU, WATASHITACHI NO AKACHAN GA KITE IRU!"

"N-NANI!? DOUSHIYO!?"

"URUSAI!"

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...Interesting...

But the best part is that they are speaking japanese! That is soooo cool! Ahh now I can die happily- haha wait I am already dead-yohoho-STOP IT! GOD, what's wrong with me!?

Who are those voices and where am I? Why can't I see them even though I am hearing- WAIT- STOP! REWIND! Aaaan: WATASHITACHI NO AKACHAN GA KITE IRU!? DOES THAT NOT MEAN: OUR BABY IS COMING!? OH OH OH OH FUUUUUUUCKIDY FUCK!

...Okay, calm down. Calm down. I am in a womb!? I am going to be born again!? OH NO! I JUST DIED! I DON'T WANT TO GO THROUGH ALL OF THE SHIT AGAIN!

No. No. No. No. No. NOOOOO!

"Nashinara-sama, oshitsukeru kudasai."

"I-Ii w-wa anata oshitsukeru wakarimasuka?"

"URUSAI 'TTEBAZE!"

" H-HAI!"

"Nashinara-sama,mou ichido!"

"NNGH! HYAAA!"

"Shinara-chan, anata o aishiteru."

"Kujiiro... SHINE!"

"Hai, Shinara-chan..."

Hahahah, that dude is soo whipped!

Wait...'ttebaze?... 'TTEBAZE!? OHH MY FRICKING JOE HOKAGE!

I ONLY KNOW ONE FAMILY THAT PROBABLY HAS THAT VERBAL TIC! OHHH MY FRICKING GOOD! IT'S A DREAM COME TRUE!

I AM GOING TO BE REBORN INTO THE UZUMAKI-ICHIZOKU!

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Ahem... I FEEL GOOD! NANANANA! SO GOOD SO GOO-

"Nashinara-sama, mou ichido kudasai!"

"HYAAAAAA 'TTEBAZE! DETEKURU AKACHAN!"

Detekuru? Whu-

ARGHHH! WHAT THE HELL IT'S SO BRIGHT! MY EYES!

"UWAHHHHHH!" HOLY SHIT! THAT HUURT!

"KYAAAAA!"

"NASHINA-CHAN!"

"Omedetto, Nashinara-sama, Kujiiro-sama, Sore wa onna no akachandesu."

"Utsukushi..."

"Hai, sou desu ne..."

"Akachan no namae wa nan desu ka, Nashinara-sama to Kujiiro-sama?"

"Hm... Uzumaki Kushina dattebaze!"

"Watashi wa sore ga sukidesu."

"Kono sekai e yokoso, Kushina-hime!"

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Whut?