When had it become so difficult for him to hear Kazemaru's voice? To process what he was saying, about his day at Raimon and absorb all this information? It's not like Genda was trying to drown it out. He was curious. He liked hearing Kazemaru talk about his day, even if he'd call it trivial and unimportant, Genda would always say otherwise.

But today, he was just…distracted. Not that it was unusual. It was easy for him to be distracted by this defender, his friend, his crush. Mostly it was a distracted gaze from afar, watching him across the field, or when a group of Teikoku and Raimon kids decided to hang out, or even when they were just together, sitting across a table.

Maybe it was due to the fact they were sitting side by side, a slightly unusual seating for them (no one was around or in between them that they knew), taking up a grassy spot by the riverbank. It was a place both of them could easily meet up after school, although a little further from Teikoku, but Genda didn't mind going the extra distance to meet with Kazemaru.

Genda tries to focus, to pick up on words, pieces of events Kazemaru is talking about. School was okay today, he can gather that much. He's worried about…a test, he thinks? The goalkeeper lets out a word of encouragement, a "I know you'll do well," but his own voice just seems distant. No matter how it sounds, he hopes that his genuine words get across and are better than his grunts that were a majority of his side of the conversation today.

He has to wonder if he's staring too much, it was hard to recall when he stopped looking at the world around them and just focused on Kazemaru. The way his hips had pressed against his when they sat down right by each other, the way he tried to explain things with his hands, the way his hair would bounce and on the rare occasion he'd catch a glimpse of his hidden eye, the way he'd perk up when he recalled a good memory, laugh about something Endou did, and then go silent for a quick moment, thinking he was being too excited, too worked up over something dumb. His embarrassed look was always cute, but Genda was never sure if he was aware how he tried to curl himself in, hunch over and glance away more than usual.

Seeing that look always made him want to just put his hands against each cheek, force Kazemaru to look at him and just simply tell him, 'you're beautiful'.

It never happens. The most he can do is offer a supporting pat on the back, a comforting smile, an attempt at trying to bring his smile back to his face.

He wanted to see that smile, see that thin line force its way up. His lips looked so soft, easy enough to just push up into a smile. Kazemaru bites down on them. It makes him think- is he nervous? Ah, maybe he's worried about going on a tangent. Genda couldn't tell if he heard an apology yet or if he hadn't responded to said apology. A silent curse passes through his mind. He wishes he was paying attention, enough to make sure that Kazemaru didn't think he was boring him to pieces (he never did).

Their eyes meet for only a second, but Genda swears he can see everything. He notices that shine in his eyes, that one he likes to think only shows when Kazemaru is around him. It's wishful thinking, he's well aware, but nothing stops him from thinking otherwise.

"Sorry, Genda."

There it, there's that apology he'd been waiting for, just as his head turns to look out to the water. (What was so interesting about that anyway? Couldn't he keep looking at him?) He knows what he has to say, his mouth opens to speak.

"Kazemaru…"

His name slips out and it sounds funny. He's not really thinking, not really lost in thought just…captivated.

"Hm?"

Kazemaru's head turns, he looks directly at him. He looks cuter than before. There's something about that clueless look. Maybe he's over exaggerating. These days he'd find anything he does cute.

"Yeah, Genda-"

When he moved, he didn't know. It was instinctual to just move. To lean towards him, to cut him off while speaking, to give him this kiss while he wasn't expecting it. It's not the best one either, he'd gotten Kazemaru with his mouth open. The timing could have been better, could have done this while his lips were closed and not trying to make sure this kiss wasn't so damn messy. But a kiss was a kiss. In the end, their mouths had met, lips came into contact.

And god, it felt like a blissful, euphoric dream come true.

The sound of a loud clap and harsh, stinging pressure against his cheek had been more than enough to bring Genda back to reality. To snap him out of this enchantment unknowingly cast upon him. Blue eyes had shot wide as his head had turned with the force of that slap.

Genda froze. Blinking. What had just happened?

Slowly, his head turns, eyes meeting with Kazemaru's one again. His chest tightens. It hurts more than the stinging pain coming from his cheek. Kazemaru looked surprised? Embarrassed? Hurt? It was hard to tell, everything coming all at once. But, his face had gone red, eyes wide just as his were, but he was shaking slightly. Kazemaru had even gone ahead and scooted away from him, as if he'd just done something truly despicable.

Genda tries to speak, his mouth opens. But, god, he can't even utter his name now. Not after seeing that look on his face, knowing that he was the cause of it.

Kazemaru doesn't bother to let him try. He rushes to his feet, almost falling over himself as he does. He stands there, silent, eyes cast down on him, but it's hard to see the look on his face now. But he doesn't move. Genda thinks he has a chance to save himself. Or maybe Kazemaru is willing to speak his mind. The goalkeeper wouldn't know. Kazemaru ends up turning on his heel and runs.

"Kazemaru!"

His voice is found a little to late. And shouting had caused the pain on his cheek to strike, causing him to wince, to place a hand over this injured side. Genda struggles to get to his feet, eyes remaining on Kazemaru's running figure. He thinks to go after him, but he'd lost a head start and he knows that he's not the fastest person. He'd never be able to catch up to him. Not at the rate that he's running.

The world around him begins to come into focus. The pain must be snapping him out of it, the physical and emotional ones. His tongue clicks in annoyance, hand now rubbing his cheek to try and soothe the pain. He ignores everything around him, it's harder now that Kazemaru is gone. But, he doesn't exactly care about the looks he's receiving from some passerbys.

He probably looks like a fool who'd just been dumped. It sort of felt that way. At least, he thinks this is how it felt.

What he knows for certain is that he royally fucked up.

~...~

"Wait a second…you're- you're serious about that?"

Sakuma stood before the goalkeeper's desk. His laughter had died down only seconds ago, expression gone from 'this totally has to be a joke' to 'no way in hell are you telling the truth'.

"You kissed Kazemaru? Just like that? Without warning?"

He's surprised, more than he thought he'd be. Saying it doesn't seem to do good for Genda, his already frustrated look seeming worse, even annoyed, disappointed.

"I wasn't thinking okay!"

Genda shouts and hands run through his hair, scratching at his scalp, making his hair look more of a mess than it already was this morning. He let out a groan of frustration as Kazemaru's image had flashed in his mind. A pleasant meeting with Kazemaru had been ruined thanks to him not being able to control his goddamn self.

"I just…got so distracted!"

Genda lets out a long sigh, hands dropping down onto his desk. He lets his head bang down on the wood, glad a teacher isn't around since it sounded like it hurt.

"I couldn't even apologize to him. He just…ran off afterwards…"

His voice is muffled as he speaks into the desk. He tried raising his voice, but figures Sakuma heard him.

He felt like such a fool. Like he just ruined a well built friendship over the past years. He'd let his crush take over somehow and now by the looks of it, everything was over. There was no possible outcome that came to mind that would help him patch this up.

"Ah…I'd expect him to be surprised but not to run away."

Sakuma's comment doesn't help. Genda doesn't see how he places a hand to his face, tapping at his cheek. He was worried about his friend and wanted to help. But he hardly had experience in this matter. And he didn't think anyone else here would provide some useful comments (and he didn't think Genda wanted their whole team to know about this either).

"Have you tried calling him? Texting him?

"Yeah."

Genda finally lifts his heavy head off the desk, forcing himself to sit up slightly, though still slouched over. His eyes don't meet with Sakuma's.

"Texted him last night when I got home. No response. I don't think he'd want to talk right away but…"

He had to try.

"Hmm…to bad he's not at Teikoku, huh? It'd be easier to confront him here."

It was a nice thought, thinking of Kazemaru in the same school as him. He didn't think this place suited the other though. Maybe it did. But, then he thinks about trying to confront him if he was here. Would Kazemaru even let him or would he find excuses to avoid him?

"But you know," Sakuma speaks, catching Genda's attention, "the practice match with Raimon is tomorrow. I doubt he'll run away from a match. Maybe you can apologize then?"

"Hmph."

Genda is quiet, thinks about it. A flash of hope sparks inside him and, god, he hopes that he can. They'd be closer, have a reason to be within the same building, have a reason to not run away. But Kazemaru isn't stupid. He could avoid the opposing team's goalkeeper if he wanted to.

But, maybe, just maybe he'd find a reason to.

"I'll try."

~…~

'Hey, Kazemaru, you doing okay?'

'I'm sorry if I'm being a bother, but I want you know after…what happened…'

'You're not pissed off, are you?'

'I didn't mean to do that, I swear I just-'

'I didn't make you hate me, did I?'

Genda stares at the block of text he'd typed up on his phone. Part of him considered sending it. Just one press from his finger against the lit up screen and it would all fly off to Kazemaru. All he needs to do is press one button.

He doesn't.

He promptly deletes it all before he could accidentally send anything stupid.

His phone is dropped down on the bed beside him. It lands facing upward, the screen still shining and lighting up his darkened room. Genda stares up at the ceiling, still wondering if he should even send at least one text. It's not like he would respond anyway. It's getting late.

Genda turns on his side, back facing where his phone was. He takes in a breath, lets it out and forces himself to sleep.

…

Not even five minutes later, he turns over in bed and takes his phone in hand. The light shines in his face and he squints as he has to adjust to it once again. The message app is still open, a blank page with the option to still send something to Kazemaru.

'Good luck in our game tomorrow.'

He hits send and immediately shuts his phone off before attempting to sleep once more.

~…~

Teikoku had already been practicing well before Raimon had showed up. The practice match was held at their school, their stadium, so they had the luxury of getting in some extra practice time before the opposing team showed up.

"Guess who's finally here!"

Genda hears Fudou shout that as he walks past the field, not sounding as enthused as the rest of the team. The team ends up stopping their practice, turning and watching as Raimon steps onto their school grounds. Sakima is the first to go and greet Kidou, then Endou.

The goalkeeper's gaze drifts from them to Kazemaru. He gulps mouth beginning to feel dry as he spots the defender so quickly out of everyone else here. It was as if he'd train himself to find his figure no matter what.

Kazemaru doesn't even look his way. His gaze remains forward, keeping a hard stare on the captains and their interactions. He looks another way when someone shouts his name, smiles as he talks to them- it was Kabeyama who got his attention.

Genda takes a step forward, considers going up and talking to him. But, what if he makes things worse? What if he can't keep his cool and just forces another kiss on him again. He feels his face heat up. No. He's not about to take that chance just yet. After the game, he will. He can wait. He hopes.

He decides to stay in the goal, though watches as Raimon disperses onto the other half of the field. The rest of Teikoku who had been there now comes to his half. As the teams move onto the pitch, Genda keeps an eye on Kazemaru, watching as Gouenji takes his side, motions over to Teikoku- to Genda. His head shakes and he wishes he could see the look on Kazemaru's face, wishes he could hear what they were talking about.

Gloved hands clap together and he tries to pull his thoughts away from them. As much as he wants his mind to be filled with Kazemaru, he knows that he has to take this match seriously. And he will. He gets ready for Jimon's shoot. He manages to catch it with ease and toss it back to the next forward in line. Blue eyes end up wandering across the field, going to a certain teal haired defender as he dribbles the ball, passes it to a teammate.

"Genda!"

His name is called and his head shakes. Right. No distractions. Again, he's ready and in position to protect his goal. And he manages to again. Barely. He got lucky enough to punch the ball before it could fly past him. The thought to sit this match out crosses his mind. Maybe he isn't mentally prepared for this game. But no, he can't let the team down. He wouldn't let them down, even in just a simple practice match.

Fudou is the next one to try and make a goal. It takes all he can to not roll his eyes at that cocky and annoying look plastered on his face.

"Someone's pretty distracted today, huh?"

Okay, he lets his eyes roll to that comment.

"Just kick the damn ball."

Fudou shrugs and almost kicks the ball. Instead, he simply lifts it onto his foot, balancing it. Gneda lets out an aggravated groan. Of course he'd do what he wanted, probably wait and try to kick the ball to his gut when he could.

He hates it. Hates the time that Fudou is wasting. Hates how he's given an opportunity to get distracted by Kazemaru on the other side of the field, again. He watches at how he kicks the ball, nearly trips at one point but manages to save himself. Endou ends up asking if he's okay and god he's just so damn cute when he brushes it off like it's nothing.

He's too distracted again. It's like a couple of days ago. He's being mesmerized by his movements. He doesn't notice when Fudou had stopped balancing the ball. He hadn't heard Fudou shout out an, "Oi!". He hadn't noticed anything until the ball Fudou had kicked collided with his face, all because he'd been too distracted by Kazemaru.

~…~

The first thing he feels is a stinging, throbbing pain in his head when he comes to. It hurts like hell, causes him to hiss. A hand moves from beside him, to his pounding head. Eyes slowly begin to blink open as he comes to. His vision blurry, trying to come into focus.

He finds himself not on the field anymore. The pure white and visible ceiling and the soft, cushiony bed underneath him are dead giveaways. It takes him a moment to think- the infirmary. It was a familiar sight, one he'd been to before. Usually for strains but not something like taking a blow to the head.

Genda begins to force himself up, slowly moving so the world doesn't spin around him. He props himself on his elbows, body turning and putting his weight all on one.

"You shouldn't be moving."

Genda freezes, stops. He knows that voice, it's what he loves to hear. He finds Kazemaru sitting at the bed across from him, now getting up and walking over to his bed. He's not sure if this is some dream or a hallucination thanks to the pain in his head. He hopes neither.

"It's good to see you awake, but you really should be lying down."

Kazemaru looks worried, genuinely concerned for him. It makes his heart beat fast and god is he praying that it's all not a dream now.

"I can explain."

It's shit timing, he thinks (he's really been having poor timing lately). To try and talk to him when he's like this, when he can't even think straight. But, Kazemaru is here and he needs to get this off his chest, before he leaves or this hallucination comes to an end.

Kazemaru doesn't reply, only blinks, stares, cheeks heating up.

"Y-You don't need to…"

Kazemaru looks nervous, eyes dart down, head tilts down. He holds an arm against his body, hand gripping onto his skin.

Genda's lips form a frown and he wants to reach out to the hand dangling beside his bed. But, then it hits him. Why he's here with him. How they were supposed to be playing each other, their teams. It makes Genda sit up in bed, fast. Faster than he likes to and the world starts to spin. He feels sick and regrets moving.

A hand touches his shoulder, it causes him to still.

"The game…"

"It's fine. It should be ending soon."

Kazemaru replies in a reassuring tone. Genda looks up to him, staring at him as he feels another hand against his back.

"Don't worry about it."

"But you're not playing it…"

You're here with me.

A pause.

"Like I said, don't worry about it. Lie back down."

Kazemaru's tone is more demanding, he even gives Genda a gentle push against his chest. He removes his hands from him once Genda's back hits the bed. He didn't bother to protest, he didn't have the energy for it nor did he want to.

The room falls silent and Genda tries to think of something to say. His mind is mixed up on talking about the match, asking why he's here and missing out on it, or trying to apologize. He hates how scrambled his head is and thinks if he even dares to talk, a mixture of all three would just stumble out.

Thankfully, Kazemaru is the one to talk before he does.

"I'm sorry…about the other day."

Genda gives Kazemaru the most confused look he's ever seen. And if he wasn't about to have this conversation with him, he would have laughed at it.

"I…I shouldn't have slapped you and ran off like that on you."

Kazemaru gulps. Genda notices his fists clench as they grip onto the ends of his jersey.

"I guess I just didn't exactly process what had happened. I really did not see that coming and I just…"

Kazemaru holds his breath, looks elsewhere, sighs.

"You probably just want to rest. I shouldn't- we should talk about this later."

Something in Genda tells him to move, but also to stay put. The latter is most likely for the injury he sustained. The most he could do, he decides, is to reach out and grab Kazemaru's wrist, to gain his attention.

"No, keep going. I want to hear what you have to say. Your voice helps me."

His gaze is focused on him and he definitely sees that blush rise back on his face. He hopes it helps ease the tension. But he also wishes that he could just get off this bed and embrace him, here and now.

"Well…I never thought you'd actually feel that way about someone like me. Unless if you didn't mean to do that in the first place."

Genda stares, unable to really comprehend his troubles. Here he was more worried about ruining everything and Kazemaru was worried if it was all an accident.

"Why would you think that? You know you're an amazing person. When I tell you that, I mean it. You're just…so damn great."

He lets out a soft chuckle, knowing that his words are crap at the moment. So much for trying to be romantic with a scrambled mind.

"If there is a reason that you think I shouldn't like you for, trust me, I'd counter it. I like every single part of you. You can't convince me to hate you. And that kiss was no accident…sort of. I meant it but I didn't mean for it to be so sudden."

He shuts up before he rambles and makes it sound ten times worse than it should. Kazemaru keeps quiet. Genda feels the other's hand tightening around his clothes even more. He notices the other trying not to force some smile on his face, trying to suppress his joy from those stitched up words.

"I should have known you meant well."

He lets the smile grace his face, take a step closer to the bed. His free hand is used to gently pull Genda's hand off his. He sandwiches his hand in between his, looking down at them.

"But you know…that really is a cheap way to ask someone out."

"Huh?"

Kazemaru rolls his eyes playfully, lets out a chuckle. Seeing the familiar light on his features makes Genda's heart beat against his chest. He swears that he's smiling like some happy puppy now.

"I'll ask you properly if I have to. You know I will."

Genda winks at him and Kazemaru snorts. He knew he would, he was serious and always kept his word. The defender stays quiet, fingers running over Genda's strong and rough hands. He glances towards the doorway before finally having their eyes meet.

And he leans over the bed, his face hovering over Genda's. The goalkeeper's mind goes blank, not sure what the other had been thinking or what he was doing. Before he knows it, strands of teal hair are touching and tickling at his cheeks. He feels something soft- those lips press against his forehead and a quiet 'chu' sound following as Kazemaru begins to pull away.

"That's for stealing my first kiss."

Genda can see the full flush of his cheeks now. It was like before, when they first kissed, but now instead of surprise and hurt, his features were filled with tenderness, shyness, love. For a moment, he thinks that all the pain in his head has gone away. As if that kiss had healed him.

"Heh. I think you secretly liked my terrible confession."

"And I think your concussion is talking. You need to rest. I'll let the others know you're okay."

"Wait!"

Genda quickly tightens his hand around his. He has a tight grip, holding Kazemaru in place. He thinks that maybe he's being needy, selfish. But it was fine to be like that with him now, right? Besides, he just wanted to indulge in this moment for a while longer, before the rest of the teams bombarded in here and asked how he was.

"They don't have to know I'm awake yet.

"I guess not."