Title – Finding the Answer
Author – Kaylbunny
Rating – PG
Pairing – 1x2
Feedback – Is welcomed and encouraged
Disclaimer – Me own nada
Notes – Dedicated to Razberrycreme, my Zechsy mistress. Hope you like it 333
'I will be the answer/ At the end of the line/ I will be there for you/ Why take the time/ In the burning of uncertainty/ I will be your solid ground /I will hold the balance/ If you can't look down' – Answer, Sarah Mcwhatsherface
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The first time had been an accident.
Duo had came home late from work to an empty house and was so exhausted that he didn't even realise whose room he went into. All he knew was that he was in a bedroom, on a comfortable bed, and that nothing else mattered but closing his eyes and letting unconsciousness take over.
When he woke up he realised that he was still in his clothes from the day before and that there was a note on the pillow beside his head. After rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and stretching a little, Duo picked up the piece of paper and began to read Heero's tiny scrawl.
'Gone to work. Be back at dinner. H.'
He smiled; happy that Heero had taken the time to leave a message.
They hadn't seen much of each other lately, their conflicting work schedules had meant that usually one arrived home late and was gone before the other woke up. It was a drag, but they both knew that their jobs were important and it made them savour the time they did have together all the more.
For around four years, Heero Yuy and Duo Maxwell had been living together. They decided to go in on a house together, since neither of them would know what to do with a house to themselves. Since they were already good friends, it worked out alright. They split the bills, chores, and always looked out for one another.
Over the years they had grown closer, able to know what the other was thinking or feeling without even having to ask, and so comfortable with each other to the point that a lot of people thought they were an item. And in a way, they were. When they were together, they had a way of looking at each other that other people could only call a loving gaze. And more often than not they would go everywhere alone.
They'd go to the cinema, sharing a bucket of pop corn and private jokes. Out dancing, showing off their skill, and sometimes dancing with others but never straying too far. And though the world may not see it, they were each other's confidant, their anchor. If one was in pain, hurting emotionally or feeling vulnerable, they would go to the other and seek comfort.
They were so close that the only thing setting them apart from being a couple was the physical side. In all their time together they had not crossed that line. There had been close calls, embraces that lasted too long and kisses that were a little too heated to be friendly, but they had never stepped all the way over that line between friendship and something else.
But it was there, in the little things, and Duo certainly noticed it. He loved and treasured Heero more than anyone he knew, and privately he thought about just what would happen if they decided to go that little bit further. Heero was already everything to him, and Duo knew that if Heero wanted it, he'd give him everything of himself. But he would never push his friend into something he didn't want to, he valued their friendship much more than that.
But as he lay there, on the bed, he wondered for the not first time just how Heero felt about him. It was a question he asked himself every so often, but could never bring himself to say out loud. He sighed, cursing his own cowardice and made to get up off the bed. Halfway through the motions he stopped, eyes wide open, and realised that it wasn't his own bed he had slept in.
He was in Heero's room, on Heero's bed, and staring wide eyed at the rumpled pillow and bed sheets by his side. It was glaringly obvious that Duo hadn't slept in the bed by himself. He didn't know why it startled him so much. They'd slept in the same bed before, more from necessity than anything else, but somehow this was different. Heero must have came home to find Duo in his bed, but rather than waking Duo up or going to sleep in Duo's bed himself, he'd chosen to sleep beside him.
One word rang through Duo's head: Why? Why did Heero choose not to wake him up? Why did he not use the other room? Why did he not mention it in the note? Perhaps Heero was exhausted himself, Duo mused. He did get home pretty late himself, so no wonder what time Heero had wandered in. Heero would probably scold him for it later, at dinner.
Yes, that's what would happen, Duo told himself. All through the day he told himself the same thing: that Heero was exhausted and would wait until dinner to scold him. By the time it came to make their meal, Duo had all but convinced himself that this was true. But it wasn't.
When Heero walked through the front door to their home, Duo had expected to be greeted with a scathing comment or a snide remark. What greeted him, however, was nothing that he had expected. Heero met Duo in the kitchen with a soft smile on his face, asking if he could help with anything. Through the rest of the night, Heero never mentioned it.
The second time Duo was awake.
Quatre Winner had held a party for friends and businessmen alike. Heero and Duo, fitting both of those categories had attended, staying well into the early hours of the morning and returning home as the sun was rising. Duo left Heero in the living room to get a drink. When he came back, Heero was asleep on the couch.
Duo smiled to himself, taking a moment to look at his Japanese friend's peaceful face in sleep before picking him up gently. Their couch wasn't made for sleeping on, and if he'd stayed there, Heero would have woken up in pain. Duo carried them both up the stairs, opening Heero's door with his elbow to get them inside the room.
He laid his sleeping friend on the bed before removing his shoes, careful not to wake him. Once Heero's feet were bare, Duo lifted the quilt to lie over his body, making sure that Heero would be warm. His task finished, Duo bid him a soft 'Good night' before walking towards the open door way. Halfway through the door he turned back, hearing Heero call his name.
He was sitting up in bed, visibly fighting to stay awake. His arms were held open, as if asking Duo to come inside their circle, and one look at his eyes told Duo that Heero wanted him to stay. Without even thinking, Duo toed off his shoes and walked towards the bed. He lowered himself into Heero's embrace, wrapping his arms around the other in turn and together they fell asleep. Neither one broke the embrace during that night.
The third time Heero came to him.
Duo was sitting in his room, reading, when a knock came from his door. Knowing that Heero was the only one in the house Duo simply yelled for him to come in, instead of getting up off the bed and seeing who it was. When the door opened, Duo smiled as his friend made his way over to sit at the foot of the bed. He was wearing a tank top and pyjama bottoms, much like Duo himself was, and looked as if he were ready to go to bed.
He asked if they could talk, and Duo agreed, turning off his music and marking the page of his book before placing it on the bed side table. Heero looked uneasy, like something was bothering him, and Duo set himself to helping him in any way that he could.
At twenty year old, Heero Yuy had never been in a relationship. Normally such things didn't bother him, but Duo could see that on this particular day it did. Heero averted his eyes from Duo while he told his story. That day, at work, he'd been asked out on a date by one of his female colleagues. The proposal had taken him off guard, and he had said no immediately.
What troubled him was how he'd answered without even thinking. He knew that he wasn't interested in the woman like that, but it had set him thinking towards relationships in general. He'd never been on a real date in his life, and he was beginning to think that maybe there was something that he wasn't seeing.
Why wasn't he interested in starting a relationship with any of the many people who had shown an interest? Why did he not desire to go out dancing, to pick up girls or have one night stands? He couldn't understand it, and he didn't like not knowing why he was this way.
Duo was adamant that Heero wasn't flawed, and that it was perfectly normal for him to feel this way. He told him that some people just didn't need relationships to make them feel whole, and that Heero obviously had everything he wanted in life already.
But this wasn't the case. Heero did want something; he just didn't know fully what it was and how to go about it. Duo privately hoped that he was the thing that his friend wanted, but couldn't bring himself to say it out loud. This was for Heero, to make him feel better, and Duo would put his own feelings aside and do anything he could to help the other through this.
That night, Heero fell asleep in Duo's arms, and Duo continued to whisper just how much he loved and needed his friend until he fell asleep himself. Things would be better in the morning, he promised, they always were.
The fourth time they met halfway.
Duo had been fretting all day. When the woman at the grocery store asked if he wanted paper or plastic bags, he'd started on a lengthy tirade about how the manufacturing of plastic bags was harmful to the environment and that anyone who used them ought to be shot. The manager hadn't been too happy when he was called out to tend to his weeping employee.
Everywhere he went he'd been rude and irritable, and he hated himself for acting like that. Taking out his frustrations on everyone who happened upon his path wasn't one of his usual pastimes, but he just hadn't been able to stop himself.
Shortly after their talk about relationships, Heero had decided that the next time someone asked him out he'd agree, hoping that it would help shed some light into his troubles. Duo supported this idea in theory, but hoped that no one would ask out his Asian friend in a hurry.
When he'd found out that some colleague of Heero's had asked him out to dinner, Duo had found it exceedingly hard to keep his frustration from Heero's attention. It had worked, mostly, but now that it was the day of the event Duo just couldn't hold it in no longer.
He'd avoided Heero when he came home, not wanting to talk to him as he was getting ready to go out, and now he was sitting on the sofa, staring at the TV without actually seeing what was on the screen and running over scenarios of Heero's date in his head.
In his mind, he could see Heero and some busty blonde sitting at a dimly lit table, sipping on glasses of wine and laughing and joking about whatever they were speaking about. They'd pick at their salads, and then turn to more serious conversation during the main course.
The woman would smile hesitantly at him, saying that she felt a connection between them, and would he like to go to her house for some coffee instead of desert? Then they'd get up, pay the bill and leave the restaurant, heading to the car to drive to her place
She'd flirt with him over the coffee, fluttering her eyelashes and sitting as close to him as possible. Then as Heero started to respond, she'd lean in for a kiss, placing her hand on his thigh gently, and then pull away smiling brightly, asking if Heero would like to go to the bedroom
The details were all too vivid, and Duo's stomach turned as he imagined it all
Later, when Heero walked in at a much earlier time than Duo had imagined, Duo rushed to the door without thinking what he was doing. He looked at Heero, taking care to notice any creases on his clothes or anything that could show that he'd been doing anything more that eating, and Duo was relieved to find none
He asked why Heero had come home so early, and how the date had went. Heero told him, and Duo was again relieved to know it hadn't gone anything like he'd imagined it to be. For one thing, the woman wasn't a busty blonde after all, but a petite redhead. That little piece of information was oddly satisfying
The top and bottom of it, Heero told him, was that while she was nice enough company in the office, he just wasn't attracted to her for anything more than friendship. And apparently, Heero had realised why
It came to him, as he was sitting at the table with that girl, that the reason he didn't want any woman was because he already had someone, and that someone was Duo. Duo was stunned, and he opened his mouth to speak, but before he could go any further his lips were silenced with a kiss
There were no next times, after that, because they were together every night
The End.