CLUES IN EN AMI
Avoidance was the first clue.
Usually, their eyes greeted before their words. This acknowledgement had often been so strong that the words didn't have to follow. It has been Mulder's and Scully's way for a long time, ever since their partnership became more than just an assignment. Commitment and dedication, fused with a near perfect fidelity, had poised their professional relationship on the brink of impropriety, but never, never, allowing it to plunge.
That reception was missing upon her return. She had found her way to him, as she had promised herself and him in absentia, pounded upon his door, bearing evidence to exonerate her rash undertaking. The angry way he flung open his door startled her.
"Mulder!"
His full-face anguish did not dissolve immediately into joy, though his stiffened shoulders seemed to sag, as if he had just shed an awful burden.
Voices from within called her. "Hey, Scully! You're okay!"
He let her push past him where the Lone Gunmen greeted her with expected enthusiasm. They rejoiced without him. She offered explanations as she took a seat, eyes darting constantly to Mulder's impassive face, produced the pilfered CD, which Langley inserted into the laptop. Hard drive churned and spat. "It's empty."
And Scully was ripped from her seat in disbelief. "No!"
Silence was the second clue.
He gave no reaction to her shock, no gentle hand of reassurance on the small of her back, no witticism to allay her shame at having failed the fool-hearty mission, just his silence that filled her with a dread worse than the danger from which she had just emerged.
Proof! She needed undeniable proof to restore the balance of trust they had shared. Their trust had been so tensile, she never dreamed it could crack. In hindsight, she understood her biggest mistake: allowing the Cigarette Smoking Man to seduce her with humanitarian promises. Running away with him without telling Mulder had been an error because of the company she was to keep. No one else could have wrought such damage.
Mulder was livid and only now did she realize why.
Abject fear!
Frantic to prove herself, she led him back to the cold trail. The vacant offices that had been convincingly peopled with guards, personnel, pretensions, echoed with her declarations! "I believed him!"
Why she was allowed to live was the question he voiced matter-of-factly, despite the tremble of emotion.
In reply, she was a vivid mirror of him upon similar quests, madly stammering with excuses, beliefs in the face of outrageous duplicity. The shame was deep, a wound difficult to heal. He remembered its acrimony.
Empathy was the third.
His voice took on the familiar cadence of omniscience compassion. Explanations that clarified the plot, qualified the motivation, convinced her she had misplaced her trust.
The spell was broken. Sorrow and humiliation made her shudder and want to hide from his gaze. She turned in retreat.
His hand arrested her, a tight wrist-grip matched in intensity by his lips. He pulled close to her ear.
She was about to spill apologies, but his expression silenced her.
"Never…" it began as a threatening whisper. " Never, ever let HIM— " Distraught, Mulder choked, "—I cannot lose you!" He crumbled weeping into her shoulder.
Bowstring tight emotions in sudden release fired. She flung arms around his neck embracing his fear, reassuring him, folding his sorrow with caresses. "I'm fine, I'm okay."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, yes. I was very careful."
"Did he hurt you in any way?"
She shook her head. "Always very gentlemanly. Which is why he succeeded in duping me." She held his face, bristling with new beard, and fixed her brimming eyes on his. Clues revealed the truth. His love for her was fierce and powerful. His driving passion to seek the truth—his most attractive feature—had found a final focus—her!
Their search was over.