"Am I ta old ta be a Twink, ya think?"
The statement cut through Avalanches normal breakfast chaos like Masamune through a Nifelhemim villager but judging from the thoughtful frown on the pilot's forehead, he didn't even notice.
"I mean," he said without looking up from him PHS, oblivious of the shock he'd caused, "says here ya should be blonde and cute." He slurped his tannin-brown tea, an essential part of the most important meal of the day. "I'm cute as shit."
The Hell are you talking about Highwind?" Barret was the first to recover his voice. The rest of the motley crew was still staring at him with various aspects of shock, ranging from Cloud's utter embarrassment through Yuffies barely contained laughter to whatever had cause Vincent Valentine to lose any semblance of colour his complexion had ever had.
"This." Cid waved his PHS at them. "Found this thing here called Urban Dictionary and I thought I might be interestin' ta see where I fit in. I mean, I like bein' the little spoon and all."
"I…didn't even know you were gay," Cloud stuttered, cheeks burning red.
"Yeah, well, ya didn't even notice the company ya were working fer literally burned yer grandma's soul ta make energy so ya'll excuse me if I ain't too surprised by yer lack of observance." Snorting into his tea cup, Cid kept his eyes on the PHS. "Come to think of it, yer probably more of a twink than I ever was." He ignored Clouds protesting spluttering with ease. "Also I figured it out meself like two months ago, so no sweat."
"You are way too old to be a twink, old man! And way too smart." Yuffie jumped up with a jam sandwich in each hand and leaned over a broad, oiled stained shoulder so she could peer down at the screen. "Maybe a…twunk?"
"He is not a twunk. Zack Fair was a twunk." Cloud muttered and then jolted in the second shock of the day as both Aeris and Tifa nodded sagely.
"You could be an Otter. Look, lots of hair." Yuffie was still scrolling.
"The Hell are you talking about?!" Cid protested, pulling a hand through his short hair. "Ya can't have long hair working with machines!"
"Reno does."
"Yeah but he is a psychotic murderer with suicidal tendencies, he aint exactly a role model fer safe living! And anyway 'xcept for Rude I probably have the least hair in the world."
"It's not the length of it that counts, it's the position." Rubbing a finger over the captain's stubble, Yuffie winced at the rough feeling.
"Ridiculous." Reeve's voice coming from Cait was always a bit unsettling, but the huffy pouty tone in his voice made it impossible not to smile. "No proper Otter would allow for such a scruffy beard." The doll made a gesture that probably responded to the engineer lovingly stroking his own neat beard.
"So what's left? A Bear?"
"Nu-hu. I'm claiming that one." Barret said, crossing his arms. "And you can fight me over it."
"Damn it!" Cid frowned. "The only thing left now is…."
"A hunk."
All of Avalanche turned at that, to stare at Vincent whose face was now compensating for its pervious lack of colour by matching his cloak.
"Well, shit! It fits!" Cid grinned, consulting his PHS. "'Extremely handsome man with a great physic' that's me right there!"
"Maybe if someone managed to soak you in a tub for 48 hours and then scubbed you down with a wire brush," Cloud muttered.
"How do you know about terms for gay men?" Yuffie said, looking suspiciously at Vincent who possibly shrugged underneath his cloak.
"I used to be a Turk. There are not many aspects of human life that I have not come in contact with." Vincent mumbled into his cloak.
"There ya have it, words from the expert!" Still grinning Cid grabbed a cig from behind his ear and started to saunter outside for a quiet smoke but as he passed by Vincent he leaned down to put a quick kiss on his cheek. "Too bad I missed my Twink phase but watchagonna do?"
The next evening found them back on the deck of the Highwind hovering majestically under the stars. Most of Avalance were either in bed – mostly their own – or playing cards in the kitchen area, but Cid had opted for taking a stroll around deck to make his usual check of his pride and joy. She'd taken a beating against that Weapon, but there was nothing she couldn't handle for the night.
He was not too surprised when he reached the stern and saw a skinny figure sitting there on the railing, still as a gargoyle, but his heart started beating a bit faster none the less. Seemed like his rouse had worked and now it was just a matter of finding out how well.
"Taking up a new job as figurehead?" he said as he leaned on the railing next to the deathly still man in black leather.
Red eyes turned towards him.
"Perhaps. Are you taking up a new job as educator in gay etymology?"
"Aw, come on, that was cute! Right?" He added a bit more nervously as red eyes continued to pierce him.
There was a long enough silence that Cid had time to die of mortification and come back to life at least twice.
Finally though, Vincent smiled and his cold pale face lit up with mischievous amusement.
"Yes. Yes it was. The look on Cloud's face alone was worth it."
"Wasn't Cloud I was hoping you'd be watching," Cid muttered, nervously lighting a cig and taking a deep drag. He jolted a bit with surprise when a brass claw reached out, took the cig from him and pulled equally deep. "Didn't know you smoked? Lethal habit, ya know."
"I'm already dead, what difference can it make?" Vincent shrugged. "And anyway, I only started about two months ago."
Cid was a bit transfixed by the cig and had to shake himself awake.
"That's when we first met!"
Vincent smiled and returned the cig.
"Yes. So what's this obsession about being a twink?"
Cid shrugged, too embarrassed to meet his eyes anymore.
"Ya know. Doesn't everyone dream of bein' courted by a tall, dark handsome stranger?"
"We don't always get what we want," Vincent muttered and just as Cid's heart was about to shatter on the floor he turned and smiled slyly. "But sometimes we do. Come."
He jumped softly from his perch and reached out a hand to Cid, who took it numbly. With a kind of old fashioned chivalry that had gone out of style decades ago, he took Cid's much burlier arm in his and led him around the Highwind's stern.
There on the deck was a small table for two lit with silver candelabrum that Cid had no idea where came from because they certainly hadn't been on the airship that morning. A radio was playing soft violin music and a bottle of wine and two glasses stood ready for them.
"May I have this dance?" Vincent bowed – actually bowed – and Cid who hadn't blushed since he was twelve felt his cheeks burn.
"Yeah, alright." He said hoarsely, quickly stubbing out the cig so he wouldn't accidently lit the tattered old cloak on fire.
Vincent was taller than him and when he was looming this close he seemed even more intimidating. But he smiled and his eyes sparkled as he led Cid into the slow dance that started clumsily but quickly grew smoother.
"So, did you ever figure out what kind of gay man I was?" Vincent's voice was a soft mumble in his ear that made every hair on Cid's body stand up.
"Yeah." Cid shuckled, leaning his head on a bony shoulder. "Yer one of a kind, Valentine."