'My Immortal'

-Harley mourns the loss of Mister J and their unborn child. Set at the end of Arkham City/Harley Quinn's Revenge.-

...

~I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears~

Harley sat on the floor in the cell rocking back and forth. Tears stained her cheeks as she stared at the four walls surrounding her. They were white, ghostly white. Her vision was blurry from crying all week. Her eyes were blood red. It had been nearly a week and she had yet to actually sleep at her own will or barely eat. The doctors at the institution she was being held at didn't understand how she was still alive. She was skin and bones and severely dehydrated. Every time they tried to inject fluid through an IV she yanked it out and fought them. They've managed to sedate her twice. Batman entered the room and shook his head.

"Quinn you're going to die if you don't get things together."

She brought her head up and looked at him. "Fuck off bat! At least if I die I will be with Mister J and my baby!" She picked up her pillow and tossed it at him.

"I'm sorry you feel that way but we are going to get you well again Harley."

"Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Just let me die!" She screamed and began punching the floor until her knuckles were bleeding. A doctor entered the room and injected a sedative in her neck. She immediately closed her eyes. The last words out of her lips...

"J...hold me."

~And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

'Cause your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone~

...In her dreams...

He held her. "Is it really you?"

He kissed her forehead. "I'm here doll. You are not alone. Daddy has got you."

"Oh Mister J I had this horrible nightmare that you had died and left me. It haunts me pudding. If you ever went away it would kill me!" She sobbed in his lap. He shoved her away.

"Now now Harley I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. So get back to work."

"Yes sir..." She walked the other direction to check on the boys. "Oh boys the Bat is here somewhere and its your job to kick his ass so Mister J can finish him off but do NOT kill him. Just shake him up a bit actually a lot." She laughed and skipped off in the other direction.

The dream ended the same way and she woke up screaming. "NOOO!" She sat up and beat her fists against the wall. Once blood began to spill she drew a smiley face and giggled then quickly swiped her hand across it to smear it. "Why won't it stop! This nightmare just won't end! Make it go away! Make him go away. It hurts when he holds me now and it can never happen again." She fell to her knees and began to cry again. "Why did you have to leave me J? Why?"

~These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase~

...few days later...

Harley stared at the noodles in front of her. She started making faces with the noodles. Batman stood beside a doctor who was observing her behavior on camera.

"What is she doing?"

"This is the first time she hasn't thrown the food. She seems to be enjoying herself. She slept sixteen hours yesterday after another sedative was given. We have given her some meds to help stabilize her mood." The doctor continued to stare at the monitor.

She began to make a bat shape out of a few noodles then made a big 'X' over the center of it. "Gonna get that mean ol' bat someday. Yeah mommy is." She laughed hysterically and then shoved a handful of noodles in her mouth. She stood up and stuck her tongue out at the camera in the corner. It was supposed to be hidden but she knew it was there then sat back down and crossed her legs. She sipped on the cup of apple juice. "Mister J liked apples. Yes he did. He also liked to shoot them with his gun."

The doctor chuckled as Batman seemed annoyed. "Are you sure you're giving her the right dosage doctor? This just seems crazy. She is not acting right."

"Would you rather her be on the outside killing herself or others Mister Batman? I think she has shown quite an improvement in the last thirty six hours." He shrugged.

~When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears~

Harley stood up rocking her arms back and forth as if she was cradling a baby. The nurse administered her medicine and she laid back on her bed and tears filled her eyes. She began to have another nightmare.

...in the dream...

She sang "and if you grow up with his smile mamas gonna be so proud of you."

"Mommy why did you leave me? Why am I here with daddy and you are there? Did you not want me?" A young boy asked.

"No, no, not again!" Harley screamed in her sleep and began tossing and turning. Images flooded her mind of her rubbing her stomach and seeing a positive pregnancy test and then hours later staring at all negatives. "Noo!" She cried and opened her eyes then was too tired to stay awake and immediately fell back asleep.

...

In the dream she closed her eyes and seen herself rocking the boy to sleep. "Oh Mister J he looks just like you."

He leaned over her shoulder and observed the small bundle kicking and extending his arms grabbing at his tie. "Now now kiddo you don't want to touch that. It has a thing daddy calls Joker toxin in it and you don't need it." He smiled. "Harley you are a great mother."

"I'm doing the best I can pudding." She guided their son to her breast and began to nurse him while rocking the chair and singing a lullaby.

"Hush little baby don't say a word, mamas gonna kill for you the whole damn world, and if they don't laugh at our jokes mamas gonna stab out their goddamn throats. and if they start to run away mamas gonna paint the streets with blood and once the blood starts to wash away mamas gonna blow some more heads off and if the world still doesn't laugh mamas gonna go and poison them. And once the poison does its job mamas gonna show you your legacy... And if the world still tries to fight mamas gonna burn their houses down..."

~And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me~

Three years later (in the dream) Harley watched their son come running inside and trip and scrape his knee up. She took his hand and helped him to his feet holding him close. "Mommy has got you." She wiped the child's tears away.

She opened her eyes and stared at the wall.

"Go back to bed Miss Quinn."

"No. I can't. I'm refusing to sleep. Please I'll do whatever just stop with the meds. They are making me crazy! He won't get out of my head and now the boy too. I didn't mean to do it." She sobbed.

The doctor looked at her through the door. "I'm sorry dear. You have to take the medicine it will help you remain calm. Now try to rest."

"How am I supposed to just lay here and allow the dreams of him to continue?" She leaned against the wall and slid to her bottom. Thoughts of her life as a doctor filled her mind. She smiled as she remembered the day she first met the Joker. Even in his beaten state he still smiled at her.

~You used to captivate me by your resonating light Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face—it haunts my once pleasant dreams

Your voice—it chased away all the sanity in me~

She began to rock back and forth again and then closed her eyes. "Oh J I want to be with you..." She cried. She was crying but no tears were falling. She had cried herself to the point of having dry eyes. She laid awake until morning when the nurse returned with her daily medicine.

"Are you alright Miss?"

Harley collapsed after taking the sip of water and laid on the floor. She was physically exhausted. Her body couldn't handle it anymore and gave out.

"Doctor! Doctor come quick she has fainted! She needs to be taken to the infirmary." Two men came in and picked her up carrying her to the infirmary. They laid her on a bed. The doctor came in and checked her vitals.

"Her condition is worsening. Someone phone commissioner Gordon and tell him to get in touch with Batman. Do it now!" The doctor felt Harley's wrists for a pulse and it was very low.

~These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase~

"Harley stay with me." The doctor held onto her.

She opened her eyes. "Hi doc. I'm so tired." She barely let out in a shaky whisper. "I seen him again..."

"I am sorry Harley. I wish he would leave you be." She stroked her hair.

"Ya know doc you are a lot like me when I was a doctor..." She coughed.

"How so?"

"You have a heart for your patients..." Harley smiled and closed her eyes. "I'm so tired. The damage is done."

"Don't speak like that, you are not going to die."

~I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

But though you're still with me

I've been alone all along~

"Doc keep up the good work after I'm gone." She smiled as the woman touched her face. Harley began coughing again. The doctor had tears staining her cheeks.

"Harley please..." She shook her as her eyes closed again.

"Do it..." She placed the syringe in her hand. "I'm ready to go home and see him..."

The woman was shaking. This vile if injected would kill her within seconds. She didn't know what to do. "I won't..."

Harley began to cough up blood. "I'm dying and suffering." She took the woman's arm and held it above her neck. "Please do it for me..." The doctor closed her eyes and shoved the injection into Harley's neck. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and within seconds she was gone.

Batman rushed into the room in time to see the syringe hit the floor and shatter. "What have you done?" He seen Harley's lifeless body laying on the table.

"I cured her."

"No she wanted this! You shouldn't have done this!" Batman shook the woman.

"Let go of me!" The woman screamed and pushed him away from her.

"You killed her!"

"I'm the doctor here not you, you monster! If anything I saved her life. She's probably happy again with him and not suffering anymore. You should be proud. Go to hell batman!" She screamed as she took one last glance back at Harley's body before smiling and walking off. She tossed her white lab jacket aside and flipped a switch with an evil grin on her face releasing all the inmates. She walked out of the institution and smiled breathing the fresh spring air. "I'm finally free. Thank you Harley." The past six weeks had been life changing for her.

...

Harley opened her eyes. "It's about time mother. We have been waiting."

She looked at the little boy and then seen J walk towards them from a distance. "The kids right Harley what took Ya so long?" Joker helped her to her feet and took her hand as they began to walk off.

"Is this real?"

He slapped her. "Does that help clarify you dumb blonde!"

She giggled and then hugged him and their son. She was finally at peace. "Our legacy will live on Mister J..."

"I seen Harley and Daddy is proud of you." He kissed her.

"Is that necessary father?" He shoved him aside.

"Not now Junior. I'm taking care of your mother. Go play!" He watched the boy run off and then squeezed Harley's hand. He wiped a tear from her cheek. "I'm here now, don't cry pumpkin."

It wasn't a dream, he really was there. She pressed her lips to his and smiled.

~...me, me, me.~

A/N: I do not own the characters or the song my immortal (Evanescence) or the Harley Quinn lullaby. :( But I thought this was a nice song fic. Inspiration came with listening to the radio yesterday. Hope you all enjoyed!