disclamer: not mine, but boy...do i wish...

authors note: ok, i was bored and i didn't feel like writing more of my other fic (sorry everyone whos reading it and really pissed off that i haven't updated in a while) but i wanted to write something, so i ended up with a drabble. it's set sometime after derek left addison in new york.

enjoy!!

Barbie & Ken

"The early bird catches the worm; a stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we haven't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to 'seize the day'. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves like Benjamin Franklin meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying"

tap tap tap tap

pit-pat pit-pat pit-pat

The pencil tapped in rhythm to the rain falling against the window.

Addison leaned against the table, her chin resting in her hand. The pencil she held tapped rapidly back and forth against the folders spread out in front of her. She was staring intently out into the night as the rain continued to trickle down the glass.

She was supposed to be finishing up work from the hospital, but she couldn't concentrate. It had been months. Months since Derek had left. She was a wreck, she couldn't function properly. Her boss had allowed her to take home paperwork hoping that it would provide Addison with some distraction, but it didn't.

All Addison could do was stare out the window at the pouring rain. It was raining the night Derek left, and it had hardly stopped since.

It was like some sort of sign.

Derek was gone and Addison was almost positive he wasn't coming back. In fact, she knew he wasn't and after what she had done, she didn't expect him to. If the roles had been reversed, she wouldn't want to stay either.

A flash of lightning illuminated the world outside, but Addison couldn't see anything. The sky was dark, and with the way she was feeling nowadays, it would be staying that way.

Addison sighed to herself as she picked up her mug of cold coffee, pouring it out into the sink and re-filling it. Leaning against the counter she let her thoughts wander.

They didn't get too far before returning once again to Derek. He was the only thing that would stay on her mind. That and her hair.

Addison picked at a lock that had fallen out of her French braid. Why the hell had she decided to go blonde? Derek hated blondes.

That was probably why. She just couldn't figure out why she would purposely do something her husband hated. Then again, it wasn't like she woke up that morning and said 'hey! I think my husband will get a kick out of this' and then slept with Mark.

Now Mark, he liked blondes, really liked blondes. He would dare Addison all the time to dye her hair, but she just rolled her eyes at him. He had an assumption that all blondes were models with sizeable assets and despite Addison's attempts to contradict him, his fantasy lived on. It's twisted the way a guys mind can wrap around a fancy so completely, but when Mark liked something, he usually got it and somewhere along the road, Addison ended up a blonde.

God, they looked like friggin' Ken and Barbie. How pathetic.

She pulled at her hair one more time. The blonde had to go. First thing tomorrow, she'd stop at the drug store and pick up a bottle of red dye, putting an end to this nonsense. She wasn't Barbie and even if she was Mark would never be her Ken. Derek was her Ken. He was and always would be.

Addison set down the mug of coffee so strongly that it splattered onto the counter, but she didn't care; she was resolved. Her mind was set on one thing and one thing only.

Barbie and Ken; Addison and Derek -they were one and the same, and they belonged together. Addison had made a mistake, a huge one. There was no denying it. But she needed to make things right, she at least needed to try. She grabbed the phone from its cradle and thought a second before dialing. What she was about to do was either really stupid or…no it was just really stupid but she had to do it. She quickly dialed and placed the receiver against her ear.

Yes, she had made a mistake, one she could never take back, and she was probably making another big one now, but she couldn't deal with it. She couldn't just sit by and do nothing.

Ken and Barbie belonged together, and she was sure as hell going to get her Ken back.

Addison's thoughts trailed off as someone picked up.

"Hi, I'm returning a call from Dr. Richard Webber. He mentioned something about a consult…"

hope you liked! please review!!they make me smile :-)