Chapter One
Tony kicked the door to his apartment closed with a growl. "Asshole." He said. "Fucking, fucking, fuckity fucking asshole."
Tony dropped his ruined coat at his feet and ripped off his tie, not noticing as the fine silk ripped and fluttered to the floor. His shoes he kicked off against the wall, the thud they made, as well as the black scuff they left behind, satisfying.
"Who the fuck does he think he is, anyhow?" Tony asked the empty room, wrenching open the fridge and grabbing a premium lager. "I shop at fucking Sears and have a fucking moronic haircut and therefore, I know all."
Tony tugged off the rest of his clothing and pulled on his most comfortable, most ratty sweatpants and purple Buckeye's hoody.
He hit the preheat button on the oven, downed the last of his beer in four long swallows and immediately grabbed another one. Food, lots of food was needed. Greasy pizza accompanied by every last beer and every last mouthful of ice cream he had.
With that thought, Tony slammed down his drink and grabbed a spoon from the drawer. There was at least half a pint of that gourmet butter tart ice cream he'd found at the new bakery down the street.
"Mph, good. Fucking asshole wouldn't know good from bad if it was rammed up his ass." Tony muttered around a huge mouthful.
The stove beeped and then beeped again in rapid, irritating concession. "Fucking heard you." Tony said irritably, pulling out the frozen pizza, tearing off the wrapper and dropping it onto a baking sheet and into the oven. "Fucking annoying sound, you know. That beep. Maybe once. How bout that. Beep fucking once and we'll all know it's hot enough. Right? No? How about instead you beep ten times in a row, wait all of one second and then just keep beeping. Yeah, that makes sense."
Tony stormed out of the kitchen, took a lap around his living room and then slumped down into his worn, leather easy chair. He dug out mountainous spoonfuls of ice cream and shovelled them in his mouth following them each with ice cold, honey blond lager. "That is very good." He said, feeling himself deflate like an old punctured balloon, all the hot air leaving him in a long slow fizzle.
Tony had been angry as hell for hours now. He'd held it in the rest of the day at work, grinning maniacally at Ziva and McGee and keeping his tongue clutched firmly between his teeth. He'd left at exactly 5 pm and had taken out most of his anger on the commute home. He knew he was lucky that his reckless driving hadn't ended badly but the alternative would have been much worse. The alternative would have been him storming up into Vance's office, hauling Gibbs out of it and planting his fist right in the asshole's smug mouth.
Oh and he would have deserved it too. Tony thought, shaking his head and crumpling the 1/2 empty, sweaty cardboard ice cream container.
He got up and put away the ice cream and rolled his neck hard left and then right. Pulled another beer out of the fridge and downed it while staring at the oven. Ten more minutes and he'd have hot pepperoni, cheese and enough beer to send him to bed nice and early. Food and beer coma. Not Tony's preference for dealing with frustration but the last thing he felt like tonight was seeing another living person. Not at a gym or a bar or at one of his weekend poker set ups.
He kind of wanted to cry. He wouldn't because not only do DiNozzo's not cry, but neither do federal agents. And they certainly don't go around blubbering because their boss is a fucked up, repressed son a bitch who was more constipated than… than. Someone really constipated. Tony laughed a little at his absurdity. He'd been carrying on like a ten year old with a bad temper and a foul mouth but what else was he supposed to do?
He'd saved Gibbs' life today and had gotten a bruised kidney to show for it. It was so bloody stupid Tony could barely let himself think about it. It wasn't even all that dramatic, not like it had happened at the end of some long case where the bad guy went down in a final haze of gunfire or something. They'd been at court for some stupid petty officers DUI. They'd been called in to testify when the kid pled not guilty.
It was completely routine. Something they had to do three or four times a month. Mostly it was just boring, the arresting officers had to hang around an old court house and waste the better half of an afternoon sitting on uncomfortable benches and listening to the monotony of government in action.
Tony usually just played angry birds on his phone or caught up on paperwork. Today hadn't been any different until all hell broke loose. A recently killed lance corporal's husband had brought in a concealed weapon and had planned to kill the marine responsible for the friendly fire death of his wife. Gibbs had been the first one to notice and had dove low and hard at the bereaved husband. It was Tony who had noticed the man turn his aim from the marine who had accidentally killed his wife, to Gibbs. Gibbs was diving right at the muzzle of a loaded gun and Tony grabbed him by the back of his pants and shoved him to the ground, covering him with his body. Tony never felt the bullet that ripped through his absurdly expense, charcoal black Zegna two-button jacket and left him and Gibbs intact.
The scene that took place later in the men's bathroom was etched with angry clarity in Tony's brain.
A mere two hours of paperwork later the NCIS agents were free to go back to base and Tony needed to whiz in the worst way.
He'd barely gotten his dick out when the door to the men's room slammed open, banging against the back wall.
"Need to go too, eh Boss?" Tony said with a grin, "Not surprised with all that courthouse coffee you were guzzling." he sighed and began to empty his bladder, humming tunelessly.
Tony finished his business and had just pulled up his zipper when he was spun around and left staring into angry blue eyes.
"Whoa, Boss, relax. You need a little privacy? I'm on my way out, I'll meet you at the car."
"You ever do something so stupid again and I'll not only have your badge, I'll make sure you don't work in law enforcement again. You got me?"
Tony's grin slid off his face. " No, I don't think I do."
"That little stunt out there, DiNozzo. You pulled me off an assailant and almost got us both killed as a result."
Tony looked at Gibbs in astonishment. "What? We just went over this about one hundred times with both Jag and the Marines assigned to court security."
"Where I covered for you."
"Where you what? Boss, what are you talking about? You were headed straight at a firing glock."
Gibbs looked hard at Tony and stepped closer to him, their chests touching with each inhalation. "I'm talking about you putting yourself between that gun and me."
"Yeah, I saved your life." Tony said harshly.
"You stopped me from getting winged. Maybe. It was reckless and unnecessary."
"I disagree." Tony said.
"I won't have you dying for me, for no goddamn reason, DiNozzo. What, you got a death wish or something?"
"No. I don't." Tony said, his brow wrinkling in confusion, "I saw you in danger and I acted. As I always do… as I always will."
Gibbs grabbed Tony by the shirt front and pulled him forwards until they were so close, Tony could smell stale coffee.
"You do something like that again and you're off the team."
"You're not making any sense. It's my job to protect you."
"It's not your job, Tony." Gibbs yelled and Tony could feel tiny flecks of spittle hit his face. "It's your job to protect the marines under our jurisdiction and keep McGee and Ziva safe." Gibbs shook Tony a little. "It's MY job to keep you alive, not the other way around. Got it?"
Tony shook his head. "Not gonna happen."
Gibbs backed Tony up roughly until he hit the urinal. "I won't have you die for me!" Gibbs shouted, his eyes wild. "I won't have it!"
"And I won't let you get killed by some random, grieving husband." Tony said, his voice steady though his hands were shaking. When Gibbs got like this, there was no arguing with him. It was happening more frequently, Tony thought distantly, wondering how he could diffuse Gibbs' anger.
"You know, Boss, someone see's us like this, you know in the men's room, they're going to think we're lovers." Tony said with a weak grin.
Gibbs pulled wrapped his hands in Tony's shirt and pulled him so close that time stopped and when Tony saw Gibbs' eyes dart to his mouth he simultaneously froze and got so hot he just about caught fire. Then Gibbs shoved him away hard. He stumbled and his back hit the metal urinal with an audible, 'clang'. It caught him in the kidneys and he grunted at the sickening pain of it, dropping to one knee.
"Boss, what the…"
"I… didn't mean to do that DiNozzo." Gibbs said. He was red from his shirt collar to his hair line. "I'll catch a lift back, you take the Charger." Gibbs threw the car keys at Tony's feet and left the bathroom.
By the time Tony made it to his feet and out the door, Gibbs was long gone. His back ached like a son of a bitch. "Gonna piss blood tonight." Tony muttered as he headed to the car.
"McProbie, Zivaaaaaaa, you keep out of trouble while we were gone?"
"We did, but I hear you were not so lucky." Ziva said, looking up from her computer.
"You talk to the boss?"
"He's with Vance." McGee said, "Heard you almost got shot at court today."
Tony took off his jacket, stuck his finger through the burnt hole, and waggled it at McGee. "It takes more than a madman and his loaded gun and a murderous rampage to take out a DiNozzo."
Ziva got up from her desk and grabbed Tony's jacket. "This was close, Tony. Are you sure you are fine?"
Tony's hands were shaking, just a little bit. "Ah, McGee, you see how the little lady worries for us big strong men folk? It's sweet, Ziva, really. But there's no need. We return triumphant." He looked sadly at his ruined jacket, "If only a little less designer."
"You're OK, though?" McGee asked, grabbing Tony's coat and inspecting it.
"I'm fine, McWorry. Gibbs say what he wanted with Vance?"
"Nope, he didn't say anything to us at all. Just stormed up to Vance's office."
Tony plopped down at his desk and waited for Gibbs to come back down.
It was only a few minutes later when McGee's computer beeped, Ziva's blackberry twanged and his own smart phone played the theme song from, "Airwolf".
Tony opened the text, blinked for a moment and then made his way to McGee's desk.
"What is this, then?" Ziva asked, coming over to McGee's desk as well. The three of them huddled around the flickering screen. "We have been assigned course work?"
McGee craned his neck, looking up at Tony. "Did he say anything about this?"
Tony unclenched his jaw, "No."
"But it says we're grounded until we make up all of the FLETC classes and NCIS tutorials we've missed."
"It was Gibbs who insisted we miss them." Ziva said with a frown. "I do not understand. Why would we have to take classes in…" she leaned in, squinting at the screen, "Ethics Afloat, Rules and Regs of Agents posted Aboard."
"At least there is the possibility of getting assigned a carrier, Ziva. It says here we have to take a three day seminar on Sexual Harassment and the role of Management." McGee said, eyes wide, "I mean, that doesn't even make sense."
"I will enjoy the hand to hand classes, I think. It will be nice to refresh my skills."
McGee paled, "My God, Tony. We have to pass the advanced hand to hand combat classes. Those are for, like, seals and…and assassins!" McGee looked at Ziva with a grimace, "No offence."
Ziva smiled, only a little proudly, "No offence, taken."
Tony scanned the email and did a quick calculation in his head.
"This is going to take us more than a month."
McGee and Ziva stared at the email again, Tim muttering under his breath. "There's about 260 hours of course work. Assuming we can get the classes scheduled consecutively and put in 12 hour days. Tony's right. We're going to be grounded for six weeks… at least."
Tony was half way up the stairs to Vance's office when McGee and David noticed.
"Tony?" McGee called out, "You sure that's a good idea?"
Tony smiled loosely. "Sure, Tim, it's gotta be a mistake, right? No way would Gibbs want to be looked inside with the suits."
Tony had only closed the door behind him when Vance's Assistant, Thom, blocked his path. Thom towered over Tony's 6"1' and his wide shoulders blocked the view of Vance's inner office. Rumour had it that Thom, an old friend of Vance's, had moved here from Chicago as a favour to the director. Tony only knew that Thom loved basketball and had been a heavy weight contender before he shattered his hand in a car accident.
Tony flashed his brightest smile, "Thom, my friend. How's life treating you? You like those floor seats I got you last week? Did I tell you or did I tell you, the WNBA is the best game in town."
"Not going to happen, Tony. Sorry." Thom said, flashing a quick smile, "The game was good though, I owe you a beer."
"Skip the beer and just let me talk to Gibbs for a second."
"No." Thom said, crossing his huge arms and standing even taller.
Tony ran his hand through his hair, "I just have to see them for a second, Thom. I won't bug them, promise. There's been a mistake and I just need to get it cleared up."
Thom raised an eyebrow and reached behind him, pulling a file folder off his desk. Flipping open the manila cover he pulled out a sheet of paper and handed it to Tony.
"No mistake, DiNozzo. I just spent the past couple of hours setting up all the coursework you, McGee and David have missed. It's comes from the Director."
"Yeah, but Gibbs would never let us off active duty roster for a month or more, Thom. Let me just scoot by you and we'll have it cleared up in no time."
"I was told not to let anyone in, DiNozzo, and sorry to say, but you were named in particular."
Thom dropped the folder back on his desk, "Listen, you didn't hear it from me, but Gibbs is the one who insisted on all of this."
A little prying later and Tony was angrier than could remember.
Gibbs was going on 'special assignment' and would be unreachable for the near future. Tony had finally gotten enough information out of Thom to know that Gibbs was on the SS Eisenhower. By request.
Tony somehow knew that already. That he'd only leave by his own request. Was Gibbs saying he no longer believed in the team? That he wanted them out of the field and wrapped in cotton. Stuck indoors where they could be watched over like first year Probie's …
After all he'd done for the man. After all the sacrifice and… heartache and fucking hard work. Gibbs stopped believing in him…again. "Yeah, Thanks Thom." he said. He left the office quietly. He bi-passed McGee and Ziva and headed directly to the parking garage. He was angry; He was so angry he wanted to walk back up to Vance's office, pull Gibbs out of it and give him a wakeup call.