Hi friends! I had every intention of getting this up before the holidays, but then...that didn't happen. Anyway, I want to thank you all for your kind words and support of Familiar Strangers. This is for you guys...hope you enjoy! :)
Breakfast
Finn's favorite cereal is Cap'n Crunch. It's a tough call, but he even prefers it to Cocoa Puffs. Rachel thinks he's crazy. I mean, really? Seriously? Cocoa Puffs are so stupidly amazing that they will actually turn your milk to chocolate milk before you're even done eating them.
"Wait a minute, I thought you were a vegan," Finn says, smirking at her across the table with his eyebrows quirked in suspicion.
"Well, I wasn't always," Rachel explains, bringing her coffee mug to her lips and taking a small sip. "My dads made sure I exceeded my daily calcium requirements when I was growing up. There weren't as many non-dairy options back in the nineties, at least not in Ohio. Nowadays, however, I adamantly avoid all animal products - especially dairy."
"But momma, you ate a ice cream cone with me and Aunt Kitty last Saturday," Micah reveals, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
Finn lets out a chuckle. "Busted," he says teasingly, holding one hand up to high five with Micah.
"Thanks for covering for me, buddy," she laughs, reaching over and ruffling her son's hair. "And okay, so maybe I do indulge on occasion," she admits with a shrug. "Hey, you only live once."
"It's fine, honey," Finn says. "I'm sure the cows forgive you."
"Wait, what?" she asks. "Forgive me? What's to forgive? I'm the one refusing to partake in the mass consumption of animal products...at least most of the time, anyway."
"Yeah, that's my point," Finn argues. "Maybe the cows are like, offended by your choosing not to consume their products. I know I'd be hurt if someone chose to drink soy milk over the milk that came out of me. You're giving the cows an inferiority complex, baby. Did you ever think of that?"
"Why no, I hadn't thought of it that way, Finn, but thank you for the new perspective."
Finn's looking at her and she's looking at him and they're both smirking with their eyes and biting their tongues not to crack up laughing. Meanwhile Micah's just sort of staring at them with this question mark expression on his face because adults are weird and kids sort of look at them the way dogs look at humans. He shrugs his five-year-old shoulders. Whatever. He sort of likes it when Tall Finn and Little Momma are saying weird things to one another. He knows they're happy weird.
Anyway, so that's the first time they all have breakfast together, just the three of them. Rachel's pretty sure Finn just accused her of giving a cow an inferiority complex. But it's fine. Because when she asks him to pass the non-dairy creamer (great, now she's totally picturing a bunch of sad-faced cows with hurt feelings, thanks a lot Finn) he mouths the words "I love you" as he hands her the carton.
And she loves him too. Even if she doesn't agree with some of the choices he's making (Cap'n Crunch over Cocoa Puffs? Really?)
But she's pretty sure she's willing to look past all of that.
It's Not So Bad
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I
Got out of bed at all
The song's been running through her head all morning. She used to only hear her own voice singing other people's songs; nowadays if there's, say, a Dido song in her head, Dido's voice is the one signing it.
Anyway, it's just one of those days. Just one of those rainy, don't want to be here, don't want to be anywhere except at home cuddled up in bed type of Tuesday situations.
Maybe it's because she shouldn't be here. Well technically she should be, and she is, because Santana put her on the schedule and she needs the tips. But she shouldn't like, be here. This shouldn't be her life. This shouldn't be her, ya know, her thing. She knows it, and it's the feeling that gnaws at her every time a crabby customer tells her the coffee isn't strong enough (yeah, no kidding) or that the onion rings aren't, I don't know, greasy and disgusting enough? Nothing's enough, that much she knows for sure. It's just...ugh, God.
"Berry, I need you to run those plates to tables four, five and six," Santana orders her.
"Those aren't my tables, San," Rachel says.
"Yes, I obviously realize that, but I need you to cover for Tina while she's on break," Santana responds impatiently. "Now get to it, short stuff."
Santana rushes off in a fluster, leaving Rachel, who's already up to her ears in customer demands, to silently curse Tina for taking a break during the lunch hour rush. With a roll of her eyes she turns on her heels, only to collide instantly with Sam, the busboy. Now, in addition to her red uniform, she's also wearing a chicken salad sandwich, soup of the day, old coffee, and whatever else was on the tray of dirty plates Sam had been carrying on his way back to the dish room. Sam apologizes like crazy and she just smiles while screaming internally because what can you do? She just hopes her customers like her new outfit! If they don't, they can kiss her- (hey, watch your language, Rachel Berry!)
The morning rain clouds up my window
And I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey
So she plugs along and she gives it her best hustle, but honestly, today nearly breaks her. At one point she takes a second to breathe and pull her phone out of her pocket, the image on the home screen nearly stopping her in her tracks. It's a picture of Finn holding Micah up on his shoulder, the two of them making goofy faces for the camera. It's a fleeting moment, but amid the chaos just catching a glimpse of them smiling up at her is enough to put the light back in her eyes.
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad
So she survives the workday (barely, but still) and afterwards she heads over to Broadway Babies to pick up Micah. It's pouring, her feet are wet, she forgot her umbrella, the cabs keep driving by and splashing her, and when she picks up Micah he's even crankier than she is and so the two of them try to out-crank one another as they walk shivering to the train station. They arrive on the platform and Finn's already there. His hair's all wet and he's giving her a look. She gives him a look of her own as she unbuttons her coat to show him her stain-covered uniform. The one half of his mouth slowly curves upward into a smile. She smiles too and they share a secret chuckle as he unbuttons his own coat, holding it open for her and Micah to come inside. They do, both of them huddling close to Finn, still shivering as he wraps them up in his warm coat and his strong arms. She closes her eyes and exhales heavily against his chest.
The train arrives - late. There's no seats. Well, there's one seat, so Finn sits down and she sits on his lap and Micah sits on her lap and it's sort of funny and it's not so bad.
It's not so bad
Barbra-Way
The first time Rachel Berry meets Kurt Hummel it's pretty much this magnetic thing where one immediately senses the other's mutual love for Barbra and Broadway ("Barbra-way," if you will). It's like they can smell it on each other immediately upon entering the same room and it's a wonder neither of them ever actually breaks into song.
Although technically Kurt's impeccable taste was made known to Rachel a few weeks ago when Kurt and Blaine were out of town and Finn invited her over to the apartment. Of course that was also the night that she and Finn...did stuff. Like, ya know...on the floor. Right where Kurt's standing, actually!
So instead of mentioning any of that, she puts some of her rusty acting skills to good use as she feigns seeing the apartment for the very first time.
"Wait a minute...Rachel Berry?" Kurt says, studying her face closely as if he's just picked it out of a rare and distant memory. Suddenly the realization hits him and he lets out a gasp. "I think I saw you in an Off-Off-Broadway production of I Can Get For You Wholesale! It must've been about six or seven years ago."
"Wait, are you serious?" Rachel gapes, her jaw dropping to the floor, or more like to the basement. The fact that Kurt saw her in that play is about as shocking as the fact that anyone actually saw it at all.
"Yes, yes!" Kurt nods enthusiastically. "I remember it like it was yesterday! Although the play itself was underwhelming, your performance as Miss Marmelstein was absolutely enchanting."
Rachel is rendered speechless, a little out of practice when it comes to receiving praise for her talent, let alone praise for a role she played so many years ago at the age of eighteen. "Well I...thank you," she says shyly.
Something in her demeanor makes Kurt aware of the fact that he should probably drop the subject. Of course he doesn't drop it completely, and they still talk about all things Broadway and all things Barbra for the better part of the day.
Also Finn and Blaine are there too. You wouldn't know it though, and while Kurt and Rachel continue their non-inclusive bonding session, they sort of just stand there like they're the only two dudes at a baby shower or something before Finn finally suggests they go grab a beer and watch a game.
Banana Pancakes
Micah's favorite thing to do when he wakes up is to wake up everybody he knows who might still be sleeping. He thinks Saturdays especially are an awesome time to do this. Standard procedure is for him to jump on Finn's back, pull his hair, and shout directly into his ear until he stirs from the coma-like state that he's in.
"Wake up! Wake up, goldfish head!" Micah chants as he jumps up and down in the space between Finn and Rachel's lifeless forms.
Oh yeah, Micah all of a sudden became fascinated and confused by the origin of Finn's name. He thinks it's sort of a funny name for a human to have, but not in a bad way. He's not the first to think so, but anyway, he recently started calling Finn "goldfish head" and for reasons only a five-year-old could probably understand or articulate. Rachel had sort of felt obligated to tell him that it's not very nice to call people goldfish head (but really, like, what does that even mean?)
Rachel always wakes up first (because she has this one part of her brain that never totally goes to sleep) and she just groans as she tells Micah to stop jumping on the bed. She hears Finn's snores growing progressively louder and she smiles because she knows that means he's awake but that he's trying to trick Micah into thinking otherwise. The little boy is undeterred however and as Finn's loud snores evolve into low grumbles, Micah appears more like he's trying to wake a sleeping giant.
Finally the giant awakens, Finn springing to life as he grabs Micah, lifting him in the air and tickling him relentlessly while growling and making monster noises. Rachel just laughs and shakes her head at the sight before her, content to remain on her side of the bed. It doesn't last though, and pretty soon Finn makes his way over to her side, tickling and tackling her along with Micah so that the three of them are just one big ball of crazy all tangled up inside the sheets. Finally there's a break in their hysterics long enough for them to look up and see Kitty standing in the doorway, arms folded, looking every bit like a person who just got woken up way too early on a Saturday.
Rachel apologizes and says they'll try to keep it down. Kitty just mutters something that's probably not appropriate for Micah's ears before trudging back to her room. Rachel gets the feeling her blonde roommate has had about enough of their shenanigans.
"I'll bet if I make her pancakes she'll forgive us," she says, untangling herself from the blankets.
"I'll make them," Finn offers, standing up from the bed with Micah on his back.
"Well I won't argue with that," she says, smiling as she sinks back into the pillows. "But at least let me make the bacon."
Finn stops by her side of the bed, bending down low enough so that both he and Micah can give her a kiss before lovingly informing her that, "Baby, no one likes that tofu bacon you make." He then hurries out of the room, just narrowly escaping the pillow she throws at his head.
(Oh, and it probably goes without saying that Kitty moves out a few weeks later).
School Days
Micah starts kindergarten on a beautiful day in September. It feels like the perfect day to start something, and Rachel and Finn try their best to convince him of this as they approach the doors to Andrew Garfield Elementary School.
"But what if I have to go the bathroom?" Micah asks worriedly, Finn and Rachel holding either of his hands as he walks in between them.
"They have bathrooms there, bud, don't you worry," Finn assures him.
"Yes honey, and if you need anything all you have to do is ask your teacher," Rachel says. "It's just like preschool except you're going to get to learn lots of really important things, like how to count and how to write your name."
"Can't you teach me, Momma?" Micah asks. "You and Tall Finn know how to write my name."
Rachel swallows the lump in her throat. It's been there all morning and she knows for sure she's going to lose it when she has to say goodbye to her little boy. He's growing up so fast. She swears nothing else in the world grows as fast as kids do. "No sweetheart. You have to go to school with all the other boys and girls, just like Mommy and Tall Finn did when we were your age."
Micah appears only slightly reassured, because he's still at that age where he just figures his mommy and Finn are these brilliant grown-up people who know absolutely everything (and like, they totally don't, but they'll at least enjoy it while it lasts).
They enter Micah's classroom and Rachel can tell he's instantly comforted by what looks more like a giant playroom than whatever scary thing he'd been imagining.
"See buddy? It's not so bad," Finn says.
Micah just nods in agreement, although still a bit wary of the very stimulating and brightly colored environment he's being thrown into. His teacher's name is Mrs. Hobbs, and the friendly-looking woman makes her way over toward the three of them, greeting Finn and Rachel before introducing herself to Micah.
"My Mommy and Tall Finn are in love," is the first thing the little boy feels compelled to inform his new teacher of. "It's gross."
Then there's this awkward moment where Finn and Rachel try to somehow show in their expressions that, yes, they are in love, but that nothing they do is like actually gross, not in any way that's like, ya know, weird or whatever.
Luckily Mrs. Hobbs just smiles down at Micah and says, "Well it's nice when people love each other." Then she tells him that she and the other boys and girls are about to sing a song and read a story and that he should come join them after he says goodbye to his momma and his Tall Finn (who are in love, don't forget).
Micah's sort of almost all the way on board with this whole school thing, but his bottom lip is trembling as Rachel and Finn crouch down in front of him and tell him that they'll see him very very soon and that he'll have lots and lots of fun today. He hugs them both and Rachel's barely holding it together as she and Finn wave goodbye and Micah glances a bit longingly over his shoulder at them one last time before going off to sit with the other children. By the time they're outside the school building the tears are rolling freely down Rachel's face. Finn wraps her in his arms, stroking her hair and kissing her head as she cries into his chest.
Orange
"It's October," Micah says. He just likes pointing things out. Things like what day it is, what month it is. He's five years old and he's learning everything; everything all the older people know already, even though half the time it seems he's doing most scatter-brained adults in his life a service by reminding them what day it is (or in some cases what year).
"That's right, bud," Finn agrees, his feet crunching on freshly fallen leaves as the three of them make their way along the crowded Midtown streets. Micah already informed them that it was Saturday, thank god, otherwise Rachel and Finn might've gotten up early and gone to work, instead of their weekend routine of sleeping in and hanging out and running errands all day.
"It's my favorite month of the year," Rachel adds, taking a deep inhale of the crisp autumn air.
"What color is October, Momma?" Micah asks, looking up at her.
"What do you mean, sweetheart?"
"Orange," Finn answers. Because he gets it. He gets associating certain months with certain colors. October is super easy. October is so orange, obviously, because, you know, Halloween, pumpkins, leaves. Orange. It's pretty much the only color he sees throughout the entirety of the month.
"December is the color red," Micah says, adding, "also green...but mostly red."
Finn nods in wholehearted agreement, hoping Rachel isn't offended by her son associating that particular month with the traditional Christmas colors. But really, though, how could anyone not, considering the explosion of red and green that practically takes over the entire world every year around holiday time. "And November is…" he trails off, because the color of November is tricky. November is sort of brown, and sort of orange, and sort of red right at the very end when it starts to get closer to Christmas. The whole month is a, whatdoyoucallit...a cornucopia of different colors.
"November is a bunch of things," Micah states accurately, and Finn once again agrees.
Rachel just smiles, pretending like she understands the game. Anyway. "Well I sure hope it's not too late to find a good Halloween costume," she muses.
"I wanna be a cowboy," Micah announces. It's not set in stone though, since an hour ago he wanted to be Elvis. An hour before that he didn't even know who Elvis was. So, ya know...they'll see.
Finn just smiles because what man slash boy hasn't uttered the phrase "I wanna be a cowboy" at some point in his life? Both he and Rachel know it's pointless for them to even be going to the costume store at all since Micah will likely either change his mind or grow out of whatever they buy him by the time they get home. Oh well, at least it'll be fun to try stuff on.
It is fun, for Finn at least. Rachel's sort of iffy about the concept of Halloween in general. Also none of the costumes designed for women are the least bit appropriate for her to wear in front of Micah anyway, so what's the point?
"Boo!" Finn whispers, placing his hands on her shoulders from behind, just as she'd been staring deeply into the, well, into the non-existing eyes of a Michael Myers mask. He succeeds in making her jump out of her skin and let out a shriek that's louder than the myriad of spooky sounds filtering throughout the shop.
"Sorry," he chuckles, wrapping his arms around her as he nuzzles her neck. "Don't worry, I'll protect you from any psycho killers or talking ghosts."
"Oh, and who's going to protect me from you?" she jokes, turning her face towards his and pecking him on the lips.
"Momma I don't like it here," Micah wines, tugging on Rachel's skirt and hiding his face in it as all kinds of gory, horrific looking masks accost him from both sides.
"Oh it's okay, sweetheart," she soothes, knowing that just moving one isle over to where the children's stuff is will make it look like they're in a completely different universe from the terrifying one they're in now.
"Come on bud, let's go check out the cowboy costumes," Finn offers.
Micah shakes his head, because Finn's clearly living in the past (the past being five minutes ago). "I wanna be a policeman," he tells them.
Rachel and Finn just look at each other and shrug approvingly, because at least this new costume choice shows respect for authority figures? Or something? Whatever. They know he'll probably change his mind and decide he wants to be a bank robber at some point within the next forty-five seconds. Might as well just start heading in the direction of the orange jumpsuits.
So yeah, Micah ends up being Buzz Lightyear for Halloween. Finn and Rachel can't decide who they want to be, so Micah decides that he's going to decide for them. That could've been interesting, but actually his choices end up not being half bad. At first he wanted Finn to be a building, but luckily he got more creative and decided definitively that Finn should be a firefighter. Okay, so maybe that decision had whole lot to do with it being one of the few adult male costumes that are both age appropriate and also not designed for the purpose of traumatizing children.
In any case, it works, and Finn ends up really liking his firefighter costume. Rachel likes it too...likes it a lot, actually. And, anyway, Micah finds something for her to dress up in as well. It's completely G-rated, and was therefore not sold in any costume store in America.
Micah decides she's a singer. That's all. Just a person who sings. He's not super specific when it comes to exactly how she should go about accessorizing her costume, just tells her she should wear that one dress she wore that one time when she went out with Aunt Kitty. Well that narrowed it down.
So she honors his request, putting on the black sparkly dress she wore literally one time a couple years back when Kitty dragged her out to some stupid party with some even stupider people. The dress looks nice, and Micah assures her of it, even though her "costume" doesn't really distinguish her as anything more than "a woman dressed in a dress." Oh well. As long as Micah thinks it makes her look like a singer then that's exactly what she is.
So, Buzz Lightyear, a firefighter, and a singer walk into Kurt and Blaine's Halloween party. It sounds like the beginning of a joke, but it isn't. Nothing about Halloween is a joke to Kurt, and the elaborateness of the affair is like nothing Rachel has ever seen.
Micah, a.k.a. Buzz, is a little perplexed by the amount of scary adults who are obviously way too old to be having so much fun, but he has a good time eating candy corn and Buzz Lightyear-ing his way around the apartment before falling asleep in one of Kurt and Blaine's spare bedrooms.
The ambiguity of Rachel's costume prompts the question, "what are you supposed to be?" from just about everyone at the party. Their underwhelmed, slightly confused expressions when she tells them she's a singer make her realize she really should've put on a witch hat or something, just to get people off her back.
"If you're taking requests, I have a few," Finn whispers playfully in her ear.
"Let me guess...Journey?" she asks.
"Doesn't really matter," he shrugs. "I'm sure I'd love any song as long as you were the one singing it."
She blushes the way she always does when he's looking at her that way. They're both sort of drunk on whatever hot apple cider concoction Kurt keeps pouring them and she finds herself a bit wobbly on her feet as she admires Finn's costume. She's looking up at him with dreamy eyes as she tells him, "I'm sure I'd love any fire as long as you were the one fighting it."
He chuckles as he places a hand on her back to steady her small frame. "You're kinda drunk, baby," he smirks down at her.
"No I am not...okay maybe I am," she admits before tossing her head back in laughter. "But I'm serious. You should stop changing tires and start putting out fires."
They both giggle at the nonsensical thing she just slurred out. Rachel pulls his face down to hers, his large hat brim nearly poking her in the eye before Finn turns his head to the side so they can kiss.
"Get a room," Puck comments as he walks by.
"Get a haircut, Noah," Rachel retorts, her lips still lingering close to Finn's. "Your mohawk has to be one of the scariest things at this party. It's gotten way too long."
"Speaking of which," Puck continues, "Where exactly is your costume, Jew Berry?"
Rachel groans in aggravation, telling him, "For the last time, I'm a singer. God, do I need to write it on my forehead or something?"
"Prove it," Puck remarks casually, taking a sip from his beer.
"I do not have to prove anything, Noah Puckerman," she replies defiantly.
"Oh really?" he asks, smirking as he continues teasing her much like an annoying older brother might do. It's pretty much been the dynamic of their relationship since the moment they met. "Well it seems like if you're a singer, you should probably, I don't know, sing."
Rachel sighs in annoyance before glancing up at Finn in hopes of garnering a little support from her boyfriend. The way he's grinning over at his best friend, however, makes it evident he approves of Puck's persistent badgering.
"It's just a costume, Noah," she states with an eye roll. "It's not meant to be taken literally. I mean Finn's dressed up as a firefighter but that doesn't mean he'll be saving anyone from any burning buildings tonight."
Puck shrugs apathetically. "Okay fine, don't sing. I guess you must really fuckin' suck at it."
Boom. And there it was. Someone finally hit Rachel Berry where it hurt; leave it to Noah Puckerman to do such a thing. It's obvious he woke a sleeping giant, judging by the way her jaw clenches tightly, steam practically pouring out of her ears as she shoots him a look that could kill. "I do not suck," she tells him seethingly.
Puck, clearly enjoying himself, merely stares back at her with both eyebrows raised expectantly, once again challenging her to prove herself right here and now. She accepts his challenge begrudgingly after glancing up at Finn and finding his expression to be much the same as Puck's. She tosses back the remainder of her drink first, needing the liquid confidence to help coax the wildly unrehearsed voice out from where it lies neglected deep inside her. What emerges from her throat when she opens her mouth to sing succeeds in not only putting Puck in his place, but drawing the attention of the entire party. It's an old vocal warm up she used to put herself through almost every day when she was a teenager. She's out of practice, of course, but finds she's still able to hit most of the notes on point, even the final one, an impressive high note which she holds steadily for several dramatic seconds. Afterwards her "audience" erupts with applause, Rachel's cheeks flaming in embarrassment and also a bit of pride. Finn is all smiles as he hugs her tightly against him, happy to show off his supremely talented girlfriend to the roomful of awestruck partygoers.
Even Puck is impressed as he leans in to plant a chaste kiss on her cheek, his eyes winking with mischief when he pulls away, telling her, "I knew you could do it, Berry."
Needless to say, no one else questions her costume for the rest of the night. It's apparent to all of them that she is, without a doubt, a singer. And now, slowly but surely, it's becoming apparent to Rachel as well.
Have Yourself A Merry Little Whatever
"Okay this just looks...weird," Kurt remarks blandly at the sight before him.
"Kurt, you promised you wouldn't judge," Rachel scolds him from her position on Finn's lap. He's wearing Burt's old Santa suit, beard and all, and she's dressed up as something resembling an elf. She realizes they look a bit ridiculous and that elves don't typically sit on Santa's lap anyway. Neither, of course, does Batman. In case you thought otherwise, superheroes are typically not pictured in Christmas-themed photos of any kind, however, in this case Micah pretty much insisted upon wearing his costume, and so here they are; Batman and a Jewish Elf sitting on Santa's lap. It's whimsical holiday fun!
Kurt, however, continues to regard them with utter distaste from where he stands behind the tripod-mounted camera. "Well as your appointed holiday photographer I feel morally obligated to critique this rather bizarre theme you've chosen to portray. I understand veering away from tradition, but this just borders on offensive."
"Lighten up, man, it's just for fun," Finn argues. "Just take the picture."
"Fine," Kurt agrees reluctantly. "Rachel I'll use whatever filter you want, but I doubt any of them are going to conceal the fact that you are, indisputably, Jewish."
"Jews celebrate Christmas too, Kurt," Rachel protests. Although truthfully she'd never done so herself prior to this year. It's Finn's favorite holiday, though, and she's having fun partaking in the festivities along with him. "Besides, I'm paying homage my heritage as well, as you can see," she says, gesturing to the small menorah that sits atop the blanket of fake snow, as well as the star of David hanging rather precariously above Finn slash Santa's head. Okay, so maybe it's all a bit tacky, but hey, at least it's multi-culturally inclusive! How many Christmas card photos can say that?
"Momma I'm hot," Micah complains while fidgeting on Finn's lap.
"Honey I told you your Batman costume was not the best thing to wear for this photo," Rachel tells him.
"I'm kinda hot too," Finn admits. "This beard's really itchy, maybe I should just take it off."
"Oh dear God," Kurt groans. "Okay look, if you're going to accost your friends and family with this ridiculous display, at least keep Santa's beard in tact."
"What's wrong with a Santa that shaves?" Finn asks.
"Finn your five o'clock shadow is already showing," Kurt argues. "I don't think that's a good look for Santa."
"Yeah, I guess you're right," Finn agrees. "All right let's hurry up and take the picture already."
"I'm ready whenever Kurt is!" Rachel chirps.
With yet another eye roll, Kurt begrudgingly begins focusing the camera, muttering under his breath, "Looks like the Easter bunny's funeral." He tells the three of them to smile before taking a series of shots. He has to admit they end up looking pretty good. Despite being the world's tackiest holiday photos, they also look very...well, very Finn, Rachel, and Micah.
December 18th
Finn makes Rachel heart-shaped waffles on her birthday (Kurt taught him well). He also lets Micah make her a "special birthday drink," a decision that Finn realizes was the wrong one as he watches Rachel attempt to swallow the concoction of orange juice, chocolate milk, and god knows what else. She's a good sport and even better actress, and somehow fights the urge to vomit while assuring Micah that it's the best thing she's ever tasted.
So the three of them take the train to midtown, as usual. Micah's school is putting on this not-Christmas pageant later that evening, and both Rachel and Finn assure him that they'll be there in the audience, front and center.
"You promise, Tall Finn?" Micah asks hopefully after the train has deposited them on the platform.
"Of course, buddy," Finn promises as he crouches down in front of the small boy. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."
Micah appears convinced, although secretly Rachel knows he's been a little paranoid lately about the possibility of Finn leaving. It's not that Finn has actually done anything to make him uneasy, and Rachel has never been one to indulge Micah in the details of Jesse abandoning her; however, despite Finn's unwavering commitment to the two of them, she understands the persistent shadows of doubt still lingering somewhere in the back of her son's mind.
"Have a good day, birthday girl," Finn smiles as he kisses her cheek. They say their goodbyes, Finn promising Micah once again that he'll see him tonight at the pageant before heading off in the direction of the tire shop.
Rachel makes her way over to the diner after dropping Micah off at school, grumbling at the thought of working at a place where she'll inevitably be required to sing "happy birthday" to several annoying customers, none of whom are the least bit interested in the fact that it's actually her birthday as well.
She muddles through the day, Santana even cutting her a break for once and allowing her to leave early. So she heads straight over to Micah's school, just as she'd planned to do, wanting to get there in time to claim two seats in the front row. Just as she's approaching the building, however, a text comes through from Finn saying he's so sorry, that he's stuck at work fixing some rich guy's car and he'll try his best to leave as soon as he can. Rachel sighs, understanding Finn's dilemma, but secretly praying he makes it on time. She can't bear the thought of the curtain drawing up and Micah seeing her sitting there next to an empty seat. Luckily the pageant's not due to start for another half hour, and so she attempts to relax and hope for the best.
As time wears on and the seat beside her remains unclaimed, her brow furrows with concern, her eyes flicking toward the door of the auditorium as more and more people who aren't Finn file through. She swallows thickly, realizing that he may very well show up late, if he even shows up at all. The thought makes her a bit angry, irrationally needing him to squash whatever unforeseen obstacle currently stands in the way of him being here for Micah, as well as for her. Perhaps it's her son's lingering fears of Finn abandoning them, unfounded as they are, that are suddenly fueling this surge of troubling emotions coursing through her.
Plus the fact that it's her birthday, and, well, Finn should just be here, and that's all there is to it.
They're dimming the lights, the show set to begin in a matter of moments. She looks down at her phone, sighing in disappointment as all of her texts from the past several minutes remain unanswered by Finn. Well, she'll just have to tell Micah that Finn is actually Santa Claus and had to head to the North Pole to start prepping for Christmas Eve. She knows her son won't buy it, and that inevitably she'll have to come up with something more elaborate to explain why Finn left and never spoke to them again after tonight.
"Is this seat taken?"
Her eyes shoot up, following the familiar voice hovering above her. Despite wanting to punish him for the inner torment he'd unknowingly subjected her to, she can't repress the beaming smile that practically splits her face in two.
She can't help but stand and throw her arms around him, burying her face in his neck as though she hadn't seen him in years. He chuckles as he hugs her back, whispering in her ear, "I promised you I'd make it, didn't I?"
"Thank you," she says in a voice that's barely audible, her heart swelling with joy as she pictures the smile on Micah's face when he sees his momma and Tall Finn sitting in the front row, just like they promised. She takes Finn's hand and pulls him down into the seat beside her. Just before the curtain draws up, she whispers, "What happened at the tire shop?"
Finn looks over at her with his half-grin, shrugging as he explains, "I told the rich dude to find himself another mechanic. Burt'll be pissed at me, but oh well. This is more important."
They share a warm smile, Rachel unable to believe the places her mind had taken her only moments ago when she'd feared the man she loved might actually let her down. Now, as the curtain draws up and Finn squeezes her hand affectionately in his, she only wishes she'd never doubted him to begin with; she could tell by the look in his eyes when he'd arrived that there was no place else in the world he'd rather be.
Micah takes his place on stage, his nervous face lighting up when he searches the audience and finds Tall Finn and Little Momma right where they both promised him they'd be. He's either supposed to be a snowflake or one of the Founding Fathers - it's hard to tell what exactly is going on, and none of the elementary school kids appear to know either as they attempt to muddle through this politically correct, not-Christmas themed, not-really-anything themed production of sorts. Regardless, it's easily the best show Rachel's ever seen, including Evita on Broadway. She's certain Finn feels much the same as he smiles adoringly up at Micah, his hand resting on top of hers.
Afterwards, the three of them head home, Rachel not missing the gleam of mischief flickering in Finn's eye as they approach the door. Immediately upon entering what appears to be an empty apartment, a familiar cast of characters, including Kurt, Blaine, Kitty, Puck, Burt, and Carole, all pop out of hiding, shouting, "Surprise!"
Rachel shrieks with delight and what is really only mild surprise, since she and Finn have this thing where they can't really keep any secrets from one another. She plays along regardless, not wanting to diminish the satisfied grin dimpling his cheeks as she looks at him with her jaw agape, as if to say, "wow, I had no idea."
His grin falters slightly, his eyes narrowing in on her as he suspects her of having known about his little secret all along. She simply raises her eyebrows, shooting him an expression of mock innocence that she's certain he'll see right through as well. Her playful grin remains in tact as they continue their exchange of silent, mischievous looks that communicate wordlessly to one another from across the crowded room.
When she blows out the candles on her vegan cake she doesn't even know what to wish for. She can't imagine wanting anything more than what she has at that moment.
Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah, Darling
It's Rachel's first time having a Christmas tree in her home. As a Jew she'd never quite understood the novelty of the whole "dead tree in the living room" thing, but once it's all decorated and sparkling with colored lights, she has to admit, it's a charming addition to their little apartment. Micah likes it too...well, more so likes the presents he's been told will be under it on Christmas morning. Rachel's still insisting that they celebrate Hanukkah as well, even though technically it ended last week. Finn's in full support of the dual celebration; as long as he gets his tree and his favorite Christmas cookies, he's pretty much fine with whatever.
On Christmas/Hanukkah morning, Rachel is roused from sleep by Finn's lips, along with his light scruff brushing against her cheek. She knows it must be early; surely Micah would've woken them by now if it were any later than the crack of dawn.
"Rach, wake up," he whispers.
She smiles, still barely cognizant, then turns her head toward his, opening her eyes to see him grinning down at her. He looks every bit like a kid on Christmas, and, well, how could she not find that adorable? "Merry Christmas, Finn," she tells him sleepily.
He leans in to plant a soft kiss against her lips. "Happy Hanukkah, baby," he whispers. It almost makes her want to chuckle, because she bets it's the first time he's ever uttered the words "Happy Hanukkah" first thing on Christmas morning. He climbs out of bed after pulling the covers off them both, then gently scoops her up in his arms. She's a little confused, still drowsy from sleep, but doesn't question him; at least he's doing the walking for the both of them.
He carries her out into the living room and the sight that greets her nearly makes her breath hitch. It had snowed while they were sleeping, the first real snow of the season. "Finn," she can't help but gasp as their eyes gaze out the big picture window in wonder at the sparkling view of the city.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Finn whispers, kissing the top of her head. She knows how much he'd wanted snow for Christmas, the rainy weather they'd been experiencing over the past several weeks putting somewhat of a damper on his holiday spirit. But somehow the winter gods delivered, and he got his wish; it was like magic or something.
She tilts her head up, a warm smile stretching across her face when she sees the joy in his eyes. Just seeing him happy is a sight more beautiful to her than the one shining in through the window. "I love you, Finn," she whispers softly.
He smiles down at her, pulling her in for a sweet kiss. They move over to snuggle on the couch, gazing out at the freshly fallen snow, enjoying the quiet time together before Micah wakes up.
They spend most of the morning opening presents, the process taking a lot longer than it would have if Rachel weren't insisting they take turns open just one gift at a time. Micah's in heaven as he opens toy after toy, Finn and Rachel spoiling him perhaps more than they should have, but oh well, it's worth it just to see the little boy's face light up every time. Finn and Rachel have fun spoiling each other too, Rachel guessing Kurt had a thing or two to do with the signed Playbill from Funny Girl as well as a suspicious number of sweaters with no animals on them.
When Kurt and Blaine arrive later that day, Rachel secretly thanks Kurt for the Playbill and the sweaters (which she can't really see herself wearing, to be honest, unless she stitches some animal patterns on them herself).
"I figured I had better intervene and help Finn with his Christmas shopping," Kurt tells her when Finn's not looking. "Otherwise you might've ended up with jumper cables or something."
"Jumper cables?" Rachel questions. "But I don't even have a car."
"My point exactly," Kurt emphasizes.
Soon they're all gathered by the tree for round two of present opening. Rachel finally gives in and allows everyone to indulge in the more barbaric tradition of tearing into their gifts all at once, thus making a ginormous mess. Something happens, though, that brings the madness to an abrupt halt.
"Here," Micah says, placing a folded piece of red construction paper in Finn's lap.
"For me?" Finn asks. Micah just nods, obviously eager for him to open it. He casts a quick glance over at Rachel, who just shrugs, indicating she has no idea what it could be. "Thanks buddy, I can't wait to see what this is," Finn smiles, reaching for the paper.
All eyes are on Finn as he slowly unfolds the makeshift card, his smile fading, his face turning white as a ghost when he reads what's on the inside. He remembers Micah's standing right there, gauging his reaction, and so he scrambles to replaster a smile onto his lips, not wanting to freak him out or disappoint him. His deer-in-the-headlights look remains apparent to all the adults in the room, none of them quite knowing what's going on, or what to say as they remain seated in nervous silence.
Suddenly Finn pulls Micah in for a hug. It's the only thing he can think to do, mainly needing to divert the little boy's attention before he notices the look of paralyzed shock concealed beneath the smile Finn's still trying desperately to maintain. His gaze wanders over to Rachel, her own eyes wide with confusion and growing concern as she remains baffled as to what on earth is going on.
Her confusion dissolves, her breath hitching in her throat when she hears Micah say, "Merry Christmas, Daddy, I love you." She brings a hand to her forehead, feeling Kurt and Blaine shift uncomfortably beside her as she attempts to process what's just occurred. All of this goes unseen by Micah, whose face remains obstructed from view, his arms wrapped tightly around Finn's neck.
Finn swallows thickly, his expression still dazed as he chokes out the words, "I-I love you too, buddy" in as steady a voice as he can manage.
"Kurt, maybe we should, um…" Blaine suggests awkwardly, Kurt nodding in agreement as both stand and begin angling their way toward the door.
"Guys, y-you really, you don't have to leave," Finn says unconvincingly, his voice still shaking.
"Kurt, Blaine, where are you going?" Micah asks, pulling away from Finn to look up at the two men in question.
"Honey, th-they have to, um…" Rachel stammers weakly.
"Finn!" Kurt suddenly blurts out, his voice scolding as he rolls his eyes in aggravation. "Didn't you promise me you'd help put together my new bookcase tonight?"
They all watch as Finn's face scrunches in utter confusion, also annoyance at Kurt's choosing to berate him about this now. "But...can't it wait til some other time?" he asks.
"Um no, it most certainly cannot," Kurt replies incredulously. "I need that bookcase to store all of my vintage Julia Childs cookbooks. This is a very pressing issue, Finn!"
The immaculately dressed young man stands with his hands on his hips, waiting for a lightbulb to go on inside Finn's head. Of course there's no bookcase, and Kurt's just trying to give him a way out; he's at least of sound enough mind to know that what his step-brother needs more than anything right now is to get the hell out of this apartment so he can clear his head.
"Oh, that bookcase," Finn says, finally taking the hint. "Uh, all right, let's um, let's just go right now I guess."
"Thank you," Kurt says. "God, you ask your brother for one little favor on Christmas…"
Finn rolls his eyes at Kurt's dramatics, gently pulling Micah off his lap before standing from the couch. Micah, who's a bit perplexed as to why everyone's suddenly running off on account of a bookcase, still looks up at Finn like he's a superhero or something, asking, "Are you gonna come back soon, Daddy?"
Daddy, Daddy, Daddy...oh god, it's like it's his new favorite word.
Finn smiles weakly, his uneasiness thankfully going right over the smiling five-year-old's head. "Soon, buddy," Finn offers shakily. "I just have to...I just need…"
"Honey, come here," Rachel intervenes, unable to sit back and keep watching Finn's attempt to put on a good face for Micah's sake. She knows that whatever's going through his head, however he's responding to this unforeseen turn of events, that he needs some space to process it on his own. Still, she's trying desperately to swallow the tears in her throat as she takes Micah's hand and pulls him toward her, saying, "Show mommy all the toys you got from Santa." She nods encouragingly at her son, her face flushed as she avoids Finn's gaze, giving him the opportunity to make his exit. She feels his eyes on her, most likely wanting to offer her some sort of apology or reassurance before he leaves, but she remains attentive to Micah, who's now far too immersed in the mountain of toys piled underneath the tree to even notice the three men moving quietly out the door.
With Micah looking the other way, she slowly inches over toward the coffee table, picking up the "card" he'd given to Finn just minutes ago. She unfolds the red construction paper, her heart clenching in her chest when she sees a stick-figure drawing of Finn holding hands with two much smaller stick-figures of her and Micah. Just underneath the drawing, in sloppy, misspelled handwriting, reads, Dear Santa, Thank you for my new Daddy...Love, Micah.
She lets out a ragged breath, turning away from Micah so he won't see the tears now flowing freely from her eyes.
It's well after ten o'clock when Finn finally returns. For a while she'd wondered if he'd even come back at all, thinking maybe the whole "Daddy" bombshell had put things into perspective for him. Luckily Micah hadn't thought to question Finn's lengthy absence, his new toys keeping him occupied until he'd literally passed out under the tree, Rachel carrying him to bed soon after.
She's sitting at the dining room table, a mug of tea in front of her, when she hears the door unlatch, followed by Finn slowly entering the apartment. There's still some fresh snow on his coat, his face flushed red as though he'd been walking around in the cold for hours. She feels his eyes seeking hers out from across the room; she finally meets them, the distress evident in both their faces, silent words passing in the space between them for several intense moments.
"I'm sorry I left," Finn utters softly.
She sighs, her eyes dropping to the table. "I'm sorry too," she says wearily, looking up to meet his heavy gaze once again, needing to assure him of something. "Finn, I had no idea he was going to-"
"Shhh, you don't have anything to apologize for, Rach," he interrupts her, his eyes fixed unwaveringly on hers as he approaches her, kneeling in front of her and gently turning her in her seat so she's facing him. "I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. I never should've walked out on you like that. It's just...I never thought I had a right to think of Micah as my own. I've always wanted to, of course, but I didn't want to do it without your permission. And then, hearing him say those words...having him call me his Daddy, I just - it really hit me, how much you both mean to me. It was like, I don't know, like all these crazy emotions were attacking me all at once, and I just sort of froze. I'm so, so sorry about that, sweetheart...what a bonehead thing to do."
Rachel smiles, blinking back tears as she looks down at him, his eyes pleading for her forgiveness. "Oh Finn...of course Micah is yours. He adores you more than anything, and I know you feel the same about him. I just…" she trails off, the words lingering on the tip of her tongue as she looks down at her lap. "I never wanted to force anything on you...I didn't want to make you think you had to-"
"Rach," he interrupts, placing his hands on her knees, making her look him in the eye. "You're never forcing me to do anything, ever. I'm not going anywhere, I promise. I'm yours, and you're...well, you and Micah are mine, always, if you want to be."
She lets out a choked sob, smiling through her tears as she nods adamantly. "We do," she cries. "Of course we're yours, Finn. And you're Micah's daddy, because...because you're everything, to both of us."
Finn beams with joy, his own tears falling freely now as well. He places his hands on her waist, pulling her in for a tight embrace. "I love you so much, Rachel."
"I love you, Finn. Merry Christmas."
They hold tight to one another for what seems like hours, Rachel finally pulling away gently, a suggestive twinkle in her eye. "You wouldn't happen to still have that Santa costume, would you?" she asks, winking at him.
Finn chuckles lightly, his eyebrows raised in intrigue. "Uh, yeah, I think it's in the bedroom."
"Oh good," she smiles, putting her mouth right up to his ear before whispering, "I was hoping you'd say that."
"Hmmm," he murmurs, smirking wickedly. "I never knew you were that into Santa Claus."
She shrugs, "Well I'm Jewish, so...call it a rebel thing?"
He chuckles, running his hand up and down her thigh. "Well I know you've been a good girl this year," he teases, slowly rising to his feet with her in his arms.
He's halfway to the bedroom when he feels her hot breath against his ear, whispering, "Treat me like I'm naughty, Finn."
Hero
Sometimes she catches him with this dazed look in his eyes. It's always when he's doing something absent-minded, like changing a tire or wiping the grease off his hands with a rag. It would likely go unnoticed by anyone else in the world but her; her eyes have these special lenses that can pick up on all his shadow moments.
Or maybe it's just that she's always watching him. Who knows?
Sometimes she visits him at the tire shop on her lunch break from the diner. One day he's helping Puck fix something under the hood of a car and she sees it. His hands are doing good work but his mind is far off, elsewhere. She thinks maybe that's why he chooses this type of work begin with; so he can go anywhere he wants to in his mind while the rest of his body works on autopilot to get the job done right.
Still, sometimes she finds herself wondering where exactly his mind wanders off to, and if he's happy there, wherever he is.
"I see you sometimes," she tells him later that evening. They're finishing up the dishes while Micah watches TV.
"Only sometimes?" he asks with a wink.
"I mean when you're at work," she continues, her voice serious. "When you're doing something you don't want to be doing...something you have absolutely no passion for."
Of course she knows a thing or two about that, and is no position to be calling anyone on their lack of passion for their work. She's still just a waitress, after all; and no, singing "happy birthday" to ornery customers isn't quite the glamour she'd spent her childhood dreaming of.
"I like cars," he argues weakly.
"I know you do," she says softly. They wash and dry in silence for several minutes before she adds, "But Finn, you're so much more than that."
She stops rinsing the plate in her hand and turns her head to look at him, her heavy gaze fixed on his handsome profile. He avoids her at first, his eyes finally flickering to the side, meeting her weighty stare. "Rach," he begins in a low voice, "I don't even have a college degree. I'm doing exactly the kind of work I'm qualified for, and that I'm good at...and I'm fine, really. Don't worry about me."
Their eyes remain locked for another intense beat, Rachel finally sighing in temporary defeat before turning back to the dishes. A thoughtful look dances across her face as she resumes washing and rinsing. "Tell me where your mind goes?" she asks rather cryptically, breaking the long bout of silence.
"What?" he questions.
"Like...when you're fixing cars or something. I know your mind goes elsewhere - I can see it. Where does it go? What do you think about?"
She hears him take a deep breath in before blowing it out in a long, labored sigh. "I think about you, of course," he admits, flashing her a sweet smile. "You and Micah, mostly. I think of all the fun times we've had, and how much I love you both. You always get me through the day, Rach, no matter what I'm doing."
She can't help but feel her cheeks flush, the sincerity of his words igniting a warmth throughout her insides. She knows he'd gladly elaborate on the subject of her and their son for hours on end if she let him; she also knows he's avoiding the deeper, more pressing substance of her question. "That's very sweet, Finn," she says, rubbing her elbow against his with affection. "But I don't want to have to be the thing that's 'getting you through the day.' I want you to love what you do, and to really have a passion for it."
"But Rach, what about you-"
"I know," she interrupts him, the defensive quality in his tone implicating that she, of all people, ought to take her own advice. "But I'm talking about you, Finn. And maybe part of the reason I'm needling you about this is because I know - I know what it's like not to be living up to your full potential...to just be going through the motions, day in and day out, as if you were a ghost."
She turns to face him again. "Finn look at me," she urges gently. He does, her eyes boring into his, this time not backing down until they succeed in drawing the truth out of him. "I know you were meant to do great things, and that a part of you still knows it too. Please believe in yourself, sweetheart...because I can't, I can't see that look of longing in your eyes, it hurts me too much, Finn."
By now her emotions have consumed her, her vision blurry with tears; she blinks them away and when she does she sees Finn bringing a paper towel up to her face, using it to dab away the wetness under her eyes. She feels him press his lips softly against her forehead. "I know what you mean, Rachel," he whispers after pulling away. "But please...please don't worry about me."
She nods, knowing how he hates seeing her so upset, and silently agrees to drop the heavy subject matter, at least for the time being. She once again turns back to the sink full of dishes, feeling her shoulder brush softly against Finn's.
"Why don't you go lay down?" he suggests. "I'll finish these up and then get Micah to bed."
She shakes her head, "No I'm fine. Besides, Micah has to take a-"
"Momma, Daddy, look!" Micah calls from the living room.
Both Finn and Rachel turn their heads to see their son dressed up in Finn's fireman costume from Halloween. The outfit is huge on him, of course, the hat covering more than half the little boy's tiny face, making it a rather comical sight.
"Looks good, buddy," Finn chuckles.
"I think we might need to poke some eye holes in that hat," Rachel jokes, lowering her voice as she turns toward Finn, whispering, "I thought you returned that to the costume store?"
"Nah, I decided to keep it," he admits, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know, I guess I just liked the way it looked."
She smiles up at him, her eyes winking in secret. "I did too," she agrees.
"Here Daddy, you put it on," Micah says, giggling as he walks clumsily over to Finn, the oversized red hat obstructing his vision.
"Nah that's okay, bud," Finn declines. "It looks a lot better on you."
"No, I think you should," Rachel agrees with her son. "Besides, didn't you say you liked the way it looked?"
"C'mon, Daddy!" Micah urges, jumping up and down excitedly.
"Yeah come on, Daddy," Rachel adds, shooting Finn a playful grin as she emphasizes the last word.
Finn's eyes flick from Rachel to Micah, both strangely eager for him to recreate his Halloween costume all of a sudden. He finally gives in, unable to deny the two of them anything when they're looking at him that way. "Okay fine," he concedes, dropping the dish towel in his hand and reaching out to lift the large red hat off of Micah's much smaller head. He places it on his own head, the hat fitting him perfectly. "All right, so where's the fire?" he jokes, playing along despite feeling a bit silly.
"Save me Daddy!" Micah calls out while holding his little arms up.
Finn complies, chuckling as he hoists the boy up onto his shoulder. "Gotcha!" he says before quickly flipping him upside down with one arm, using his free hand to tickle him in the ribs as Micah laughs wildly.
Meanwhile Rachel stands by and watches, a broad smile on her lips as she thinks of how nothing in her life has ever looked more right than the sight before her.
Anniversary
They don't know when their anniversary is. It's sort of hard to say how long you've known a person when you can't remember not knowing them. "Where did we begin?" is a question that perhaps neither of them could ever know the exact answer too.
But as far as calendars go, they figure it's been about a year since they first stood shivering on that cold, snowy platform, Rachel secretly glancing at him out the corner of her eye, Finn doing the same.
And again, it's not like they're one of "those" couples, the kind that gets all into celebrating anniversaries and whatnot. Everyday is an anniversary of something, and honestly, who's counting? But regardless, Finn plans to take Rachel out to this fancy restaurant, just to celebrate…well, just to celebrate, period.
"Aw, my baby," Finn smiles adoringly when she exits the bedroom wearing the black sparkly dress Kitty had talked her into buying specifically for this evening. She'd originally planned on wearing the same dress she wore on Halloween, but then her blonde best friend had discouraged it, saying she'd be the first woman ever to wear her Halloween costume to her anniversary dinner.
"You look very handsome," she tells Finn, blushing under his gaze. She can see that Kurt dressed him; not literally, of course, but through his own meticulous (and probably unsolicited) advice. If Rachel's being honest, she much prefers her scruffier, more disheveled version of Finn, but this clean-cut, sophisticated version she'll gladly take as well.
"Really?" he asks, grinning at her. "Do I look as good as Brad Gosling?"
She chuckles. "Well considering I have no idea who that is, that's a little bit hard to say. However, you do look quite lovely." She pushes up on her toes to plant a kiss on his soft lips, feeling her eyes flutter closed as they both savor the warm point of contact.
"Well should we get going?" he asks, running his hands up and down her bare arms as he pulls away. "Our reservation is at eight."
"Ready when you are," she smiles up at him.
He turns his head a bit to the side, his eyes shining with love and pure affection for his sweet girl. "You know I'm always ready for you."
They arrive at Valerio's, a very upscale Italian restaurant near midtown Manhattan. Rachel's a little confused as to why it was absolutely necessary that their anniversary be celebrated so extravagantly, insisting she'd be just as happy ordering pizza from some dive on the corner. Finn had been adamant about it, however, and so she'd stopped asking questions, her curiosity now at its peak as he leads her by the hand into the high-end establishment.
She can't help but gawk at her surroundings, not used to the elegance and refinement normally reserved for people of a much higher social caliber than her own. She can't see the dining room from where they're standing, but just the foyer itself is enough make her feel as though she might be in the wrong place. For a moment she wonders if they'll even be allowed in, despite Finn having a reservation.
"Don't worry, you're in the right place," Finn whispers, noticing the way her eyes dart around the way they would if she'd found herself lost in a foreign land.
It's then that she notices something twinkling in his amber eyes. She's not sure how she could've possibly missed it in the weeks leading up to this night, but suddenly she's certain there's a very distinct reason for why he'd insisted on bringing her to this place in particular. She opens her mouth to speak but is interrupted by a hostess who invites them to follow her. Rachel's eyes remain fixated on Finn's profile, a mischievous half-grin dimpling his left cheek as the young woman leads them through a private side entrance that's separate from the one leading into the dining room. They round a long, dimly-lit corner, Rachel remaining baffled every step of the way until finally they arrive at what appears to be a stage, the curtain drawn to a close against what would presumably be an audience (an audience for what, she doesn't yet know).
The sight before her only heightens her state of confusion, and yet it's a place that would have at one time felt very much like home. She hears the hostess politely excuse herself before leaving them alone inside the small, confined space. "Finn I-I don't understand," she stammers. "Is this the only place they would give us a table?"
That would certainly make sense, considering they're both a couple of peasants compared to the clientele that would typically frequent a restaurant such as this. Finn chuckles lightly at her question, squeezing her hand in his as he explains, "No Rach...this is for you."
Her eyebrows bunch together, her head shaking from side to side as she grows almost irritable with confusion. "What is?" she demands. "Finn, what's going on? Are we going to eat dinner or are we just going to stand around backstage?"
Backstage. She hasn't been backstage in years. Also, considering the context, just saying the word out loud sounds strikingly redundant. It's not as if anyone's actually waiting on the other side of that curtain for Rachel Berry to put on a show.
"Rachel," Finn begins, his eyes boring into hers, his voice soft and direct as he tells her, "I set this up for you. They're all here...even Micah."
Her eyes fall closed momentarily, bracing herself against an onslaught of bewilderment that's almost too much to bear. Why on earth would Micah be here, of all places? The answer occurs to her almost instantaneously, her mind just now registering the suspicious twinkle in Kitty's eye when she'd dropped her son off at the blonde's apartment a few hours before. She swallows thickly, eyes reopening to see Finn still gazing intensely down at her, his face soft with affection.
"Rachel, I want this to be your night," Finn tells her. "I want to help you remember who you are, and where you belong."
Her eyes are wide as she looks at him imploringly. "Finn I-I'm...I don't know what you're asking me to do." Her voice comes out shaky, her mind refusing to embrace what she thinks might be at the heart of this whole elaborate scheme of his. It can't be, couldn't possibly, because certainly the wealthy patrons of this fine establishment haven't paid to see some ameature performance by an ex-off-off-off-Broadway actress.
"Rachel…" Finn whispers, his voice almost insistent, his grip soft but firm as he places his hands on her shoulders.
Suddenly the sound of piano music comes seeping in through the thick curtain, followed by a familiar voice saying, "Alright everyone, let's all take our seats. Our very special performance is about to begin."
Her face freezes in sheer horror, her stomach plummeting to the basement as she recognizes Blaine's voice and piano playing. Whatever's waiting on the other side of the curtain she isn't sure, she just knows there's no way in hell they're going to see her on this tiny stage when it finally draws up. "Finn no," she says adamantly. "No, there's no way I'm-"
"Rachel, Rachel," he pleads, his face now tense with concern, her reaction obviously worse than what he'd been anticipating. "Baby please, you're-"
"And let's everybody give a warm welcome to…" Blaine's voice interrupts, causing Rachel to gasp in terror, fleeing the stage before she hears her own name announced on the opposite side of the curtain.
She hears Finn calling after her, along with the one sound she used to live and breathe for - applause; and not just any applause, but the kind directed towards her, except God knows how or why anyone would be out there waiting on her of all people to take the stage. It's not her home anymore and she's done nothing but neglect and betray all the joy it once brought her. Tears gather in her throat as her emotions get the best of her; she's furious with Finn for thinking he'd just throw her to the wolves without her even knowing about it...and on their anniversary, no less. She feels his hand on her arm as she stumbles through the foreign hallway, her vision foggy with tears.
"Rachel, wait," he says.
"No!" she snaps in a ragged voice, her head whirling around to meet his fervent gaze, her chest heaving with overwhelment.
"Rach please," he says desperately. "Look I'm sorry I set you up like this, but there's nothing I want more in the world than to see you back up there where you belong. And I know you want it too but you're always so concerned with me, Micah, everyone but yourself."
"So what, Finn?" she argues, her voice breaking. "You thought you'd just throw me onto a stage, make me give an impromptu, unrehearsed performance when I haven't sang in front of an audience in years?"
Finn's eyes drop to the floor, the "audience" murmuring in the distance making him realize the enormity, and perhaps insensitivity of this whole thing. "Rach, I...I'm so sorry," he utters softly, his eyes meeting hers once again. "I just knew there was no other way. Like I said, you never think of yourself, and you won't listen to anyone who tries to tell you how amazing you are. Remember when you said how painful it is to see me not living up to my full potential? That's how it is for me to see you that way, Rachel - and it kills me every day."
"Finn," she breaths, his words soothing her inner turmoil somewhat, though not enough to slow the erratic beating of her heart. She brings a hand up to her face, sighing heavily against it.
"Look, if you don't want to go out there, I completely understand," Finn says gently while laying a soft hand on her shoulder. "I'll tell them you're not feeling well...I'll do anything you want me to, Rachel. I'm so sorry."
"Who's them?" she asks.
"What?"
"Who's out there, Finn? I haven't performed in years. Who in their right mind would show up to hear me sing?"
He smiles down at her, his eyes shining beautifully as he leans his face in close to hers. "I think you have a lot more fans than you realize," he tells her. "And it's not an unrehearsed performance. I know you sing with Blaine all the time...please baby, just go out there and sing something you know. I'm positive it will all come naturally."
She holds his gaze intensely for several moments before squeezing her eyes shut and blowing out a ragged breath. She hears it; the crowd, lurking in the distance like an old friend. Somehow, whoever they are, they're all waiting for her...and as crazy as it is, she knows she can't let them down.
"Hey, look at me," Finn says softly. She does, opening her eyes to see his warm irises crackling with heartfelt depth and sincerity. "What's that old saying? The show's gotta go all over the place...or something?"
She can't help but chuckle, his misuse of the phrase somehow oddly eloquent under the current circumstances. He always did have a way with words...in his own way, of course. "All right," she says with as much confidence as she can manage.
"Really?" Finn asks with surprise. "Rach you don't have to if you don't-"
"I'll do it," she says, nodding resolutely despite her insides churning in sheer terror of what she's getting herself into.
"Great," he says, a wide grin on his face as he leans in to plant a kiss on her cheek. "I know you can do this, Rach...I believe in you."
And she knows that much is true; the hard part, for the longest time now, has been believing in herself. She manages a weak smile, then slowly moves past him, toward the empty stage, its spotlight awaiting her presence. Her heart pounds wildly, her nerves on fire as she approaches the small, dimly-lit space. She knows if she stops to think, or if one rational thought seeps in through a crack in her subconscious that she'll turn around and run until she's a million miles removed from this crazy, unforeseen scenario.
As soon as she steps out onto the stage she's stunned to find a restaurant packed full of people, many of them recognizable to her. There's Blaine of course, who winks at her from his seat behind the piano. Her wide eyes also catch sight of Kurt, Carole, Burt, and...Santana? Surely she must be hallucinating; she must've fallen asleep in the cab and dreamed this entire sequence of events. She'll laugh about it later, when she's awake; the idea of her sassy Latina boss from the Spotlight Diner, or of anyone coming out in droves to watch her perform on stage is sure to have her in stitches when she recalls the hilariously implausible dream she had.
"Alright everyone," Blaine speaks into the microphone. "I think we're ready to begin for real this time.
The room erupts with hearty applause, Rachel swallowing thickly as her eyes flick over to Blaine's, who offers her an encouraging smile. She can feel her pulse racing violently as she shoots him a look of sheer panic; because what exactly in the name of Barbra is she supposed to do now that she's up on a stage with no lines prepared, and not one single verse of one song registering in the forefront of her clouded mind.
Blaine's supportive nod as he begins playing the opening bars of New York State of Mind manages to instantly soothe her inner turmoil, the familiar tune igniting her from within. The song isn't new; she'd know the old Barbra standard anywhere, and in fact it's one that she and Blaine have practiced together in secret (or so she thought). Confidence possesses her as she turns toward her audience, all of whom came here tonight expecting a Rachel Berry performance; she knows regardless of whether she's actually dreaming inside some alternate universe that she simply cannot, and will not, leave them hanging.
Some folks like to get away
For a holiday from the neighborhood...
The lyrics flow freely from her lips, her voice velvety, soft, and perfectly in tune. She hadn't known it would be this easy. She didn't know it would feel this good.
I'm just takin' a Greyhoud
On the Hudson River Line
Finn was right; it all came rushing back to her, sweet and easy, much like the recognition of an old friend...that old friend being herself.
I'm in…
She trails off, Blaine's piano riff cueing her up for a dramatic finish. She feels as though she's holding the entire room in the palm of her hand as her eyes fall to a close.
I'm in a New York state of mind
The last note she holds for perhaps longer than even Barbra would have; it's reminiscent of her early years of performing when she'd been loud, proud, and entirely devoid of modesty. The audience is one their feet, applauding wildly. She knows now that she isn't dreaming, that it's alive and vibrant and real, much like the awakening of her own spirit.
She takes a bow, never one to skimp on that part, a beaming, although slightly bashful smile practically splitting her face in two. Her eyes drift over to Blaine, who winks at her in secret; thank god for all those times they'd sat at the piano and sang together like a couple of Broadway babies.
As much as she could stand there all night soaking in the praise, there's one very special person she needs to thank. She knows she's going to turn her head and he'll be there; always. When she does she sees him and Micah standing backstage, both of them watching her with wide smiles, sheer pride and adoration sparkling like glitter all over their faces.
She motions for them to come join her on stage, tears clouding her vision as Micah sprints into her arms. "You sing like a angel, momma," the little boy tells her as she hugs him tight.
She feels Finn wrap his long arms around them both, their little family all smushed together like one big bundle of love. "Thank you, Finn," she whispers, smiling through her tears. Perhaps all this time, without her even knowing it, Rachel Berry really did have more fans than she ever realized.
She never asks him exactly how he'd put this whole thing together. Years later he'd claim the owner of the swanky, upscale restaurant owed him a favor after he'd helped restore his 1969 Corvette. Rachel believes him, sort of, but is certain he would've somehow managed to do what he did for her that night, regardless of who owed him what.
She also knows that even if she'd never performed on stage again, had never auditioned for Will Shuester (who'd also been in the audience that night, which is still a complete mystery to her), and even if she hadn't landed the role of Fanny Brice in Broadway's first revival of Funny Girl since 1964, that Finn and Micah would've always been her biggest fans.
...Well, that's not entirely true. They certainly have some stiff competition after Elsie, Cory, and Michele are born. In fact it gets to a point where none of their kids can fall asleep without both their parents singing them a lullaby. Rachel sometimes tells Finn that he should try out for the theatre, but knows his job saving lives' as a firefighter is right where his heart belongs. Finn's a hero. She's always known it; always known him, perhaps before they even met.
Now and then when she's in a playful mood she'll catch his eye from across a crowded room; he'll always smile in secret as they pretend they're familiar strangers, still knowing each other better than most.
Thanks for reading!