Title: Making Up for Lost Time

Summary: Waige Future Fic. Walter and Paige are married and working to get back to their normal lives after a significant event.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own /scorpion. This story is for entertainment purposes only. I make no profit and no infringement of copyrights is intended.

Chapter 1

"You can't make up for lost time. You can only do better in the future." ~ Ashley Ormon

Walter walked in the door of the condo – he still thought of it as Paige's even though they'd been living there together since they got married several months before. It didn't take long after he declared his love for Paige that Walter realized marriage was part of the endgame of a relationship for her. Although his own relationship with his parents was not a close one, he knew theirs was a solid marriage built on respect and a real caring for the other person's needs. He had no issues with getting married, although he didn't really understand why a ceremony and a piece of paper could have such meaning. He knew he loved Paige now more than he had believed possible on the day he first said "I love you", but that had nothing to do with their wedding.

It had everything to do with the sight that greeted him as he passed through the foyer into the living room. Paige was sitting in the old fashioned rocker she'd found at an antique shop in Pasadena. They had it restored and fitted with new cushions that made it both beautiful and comfortable. Walter tried it out a few times but in reality, it belonged to Paige and the tiny bundle she was holding to her breast as she rocked.

It was a curious, but eminently efficient design. The three rocker legs ensured that it was sturdy, and the small bassinet-like extension, outfitted with a tiny cushion of its own, allowed a sleeping child to be set down while the mother – or father – kept rocking, but was then freed of holding the child. At the moment, however, Paige was holding and nursing their six-week old daughter, the child eagerly sucking. Walter noticed that she was also apparently beating on his wife's chest with her tiny fists. Small as the baby was, that looked like it must be uncomfortable, particularly as he knew Paige's breasts were uncommonly sensitive.

"Does that …. hurt… when she does that? Shouldn't you stop her?"

Paige looked up and smiled distractedly. She got into a zone while breastfeeding that Walter found both curious and a bit disheartening. He knew it was a bonding time for mother and baby, but it was disconcerting realizing how excluded he was from that bond. He knew Paige didn't do it on purpose, but it was there, just the same. This was an experience he could never have, never truly share, and it bothered him.

"She's just upset that this one's all out," Paige explained, gently stroking the child's cheek to get her to release. She opened the other side of her pajama top and shifted the baby to the other breast, guiding her small mouth to the startlingly pronounced nipple. "She's probably full, so she won't actually take much from this one. But she falls asleep easier if she's actually getting something than if she's sucking on nothing."

Walter sat down on the couch opposite from Paige, still fascinated by the process, despite having watched its evolution over the past few weeks. That one breast full was not quite enough to satisfy his offspring was a new development. Sure enough, the baby latched on greedily, sucked a few times, then slacked off, obviously dozing. She woke and suckled listlessly twice more, then released entirely and relaxed in Paige's arms, sated and sleeping.

Paige eased the baby down into the side car, as Ralph called it, and continued to rock, leaning back and refastening the buttons of her top.

"How was your appointment? I'm sorry I couldn't go with you."

"It's all right," she answered, yawning. "Cabe's as much a part of this family as anyone. It was important for one of us to make sure he's okay. I was so relieved when you called to say it was just a mild attack. What's his prognosis?"

"They've got several tests planned, and they may still consider bypass surgery, if they find significant blockages. But the doctor said it's likely they may get by with just a stent to open up the arteries if they are only partially blocked. They'll need to reevaluate his blood pressure treatment, and probably put him on a diet."

"That he won't follow…"

Walter nodded. Cabe Gallo was a man who would live on his own terms and that included not always taking care of his own health.

"How is Cabe doing, though?"

Walter knew Paige was asking about their friend's emotional state. It wasn't something he felt qualified to assess. He thought for a moment on the past few hours spent waiting and worrying at the hospital until Cabe was wheeled from the emergency room into a private room where he would stay for the next day or two to be more thoroughly evaluated. The older man was understandably exhausted, but a few things he said made Walter realize his spirit was undaunted. He thought sharing one of those might provide the reassurance Paige needed.

"He joked that the attack was probably from the shock of seeing me not only married, but with a kid of my own. He said he never thought he'd live to see the day and he almost didn't."

Paige covered her mouth, unable to avoid the snort that escaped. Glancing over at the sleeping baby, she patted her back gently, ensuring that the sudden noise hadn't disturbed the child.

"Sorry, I probably should have saved that until after Amanda was back in the nursery."

"It's okay. No harm done. She seems to sleep a lot more soundly lately. She slept all the way home in the car, despite the traffic noises, and didn't even wake up when I brought her inside. Of course, the minute I decided to lie down for a nap, she was wide awake again and demanding attention."

"I know you feel pretty strongly about breastfeeding, but don't you think we should reconsider doing some bottle feeding? I could take on some of the night feedings and you could get a decent night's sleep."

Paige nodded. "I think you might be right. I hardly got to breastfeed Ralph at all, since I had to go to work almost right way. Diners are no place for a small baby, and I would not have wanted to breastfeed him in the filthy restrooms in some of the places I worked. So I really wanted to breastfeed Amanda as much as possible. I talked to Doctor Whitley about it this morning and she agreed – she was surprised I'd been able to keep up with the feedings this long. She had me talk to the lactation counselor and I started this afternoon banking some of the extra milk. There's a pamphlet on the kitchen table about it. You should probably read it so you know how to warm the milk."

"I'll be sure to read it tonight. What… what else did the doctor say? Are you… is everything all right?"

Paige had experienced a good deal of pain after the delivery – much more so than she had with Ralph. Amanda was larger and weighed at more at birth than Ralph, and Paige's doctor assured her that the increased discomfort was simply the difference between expelling a watermelon versus a honeydew. The pain had eased and then disappeared after several days, but it still concerned both of them. Walter in particular was distressed at everything Paige had experienced during and after the pregnancy – and he blamed himself for all of it.

Before they had sex for the first time, they'd discussed it. Paige told Walter that she was on the pill and had been for years, so pregnancy wasn't something they needed to worry about. Apparently, Paige was one of the one in a thousand women who got pregnant anyway. In hindsight, Walter thought he should have used a condom anyway. After all, neither of them were virgins and there was the unlikely chance of STIs to be considered also.

It wasn't that he regretted Amanda's existence, far from it. He couldn't imagine a life without his latest love in it. But had he been aware of the weeks of sickness, backaches, and the ultimate pain of delivery and its after effects, he might have been more cautious.

"Everything's fine, Walter. Doctor Whitley says I've healed well and she's pleased with how well I've done getting my figure back. She's a lot happier with that than I am, frankly. By this time after Ralph was born I still had a little poof in the front but that was all. Right now I still feel like I'm about six months pregnant. The doctor keeps reminding me that this is number two and I'm a lot older. Geez, thanks!"

Walter wasn't a complete fool. He was actually concerned that Paige might be overdoing the exercise in an attempt to regain her pre-pregnancy body, but he wouldn't comment on it unless it got really out of hand. "You're being really great about watching your diet and exercising and you've… well everything except your breasts, and I'm not complaining… but the rest of you has shrunk quite a bit. I'm sure that will keep going. I also read that breastfeeding helps with the weight loss since it uses up a good deal of calories. As long as you're careful not to overdue the dieting and make sure you get enough nourishment to support yourself and the baby."

Walter got up and walked into the kitchen. "Speaking of which, have you eaten this evening?" he called, hungry himself after his long day at the hospital.

"I had a sandwich when I got back, but Amanda's been a little fussy, so I haven't had much chance to fix anything for myself since then. I don't think she likes riding in the car, even though she slept the whole time."

Walter opened the refrigerator, immediately noticing the single neatly labeled bottle of breast milk on the top shelf. Rummaging through the other contents he found some chicken tenderloins and removed those, along with some fresh vegetables from the crisper.

"I can grill some chicken and vegetables for us, if that sounds okay?"

"That sounds great," Paige replied. "I'll take Amanda back to the nursery. I think she's out for the count now, or at least for three or four hours."

Walter turned on the kitchen grill top, thinking he would need to start making changes to the household to ensure that things like the kitchen appliances and cabinets were baby and toddler proof. He knew it would be several months before Amanda would be walking, but also figured that those months would fly. He didn't want to risk his daughter flipping the knob he just did and becoming fascinated by the resulting flames. The very thought made him shudder.

It didn't take long and the meal was ready. Paige returned from the nursery and Walter brought two plates into the living room and handed one to Paige, slipping a bottle of chilled water out of one pocket and handing that to her as well. Another consequence of Paige's pregnancy had been her absolute intolerance of all but the simplest foods. Their daughter apparently inherited that intolerance, so as long as Paige continued to feed her, they would all live on simply grilled or broiled foods, with minimal seasoning. Walter vividly remembered the last time he'd had fermented fish, as well as Paige's reaction when she caught a whiff of the pungent stuff on his breath.

Paige dug into her chicken, making it obvious that her appetite was not a victim to her post-pregnancy issues, even if she rarely had time to accommodate it.

"Sometimes I don't realize how starving I am until I have food in front of me," she commented between bites. "And then I feel like I could eat a horse."

They ate in silence, both apparently quite hungry. When Paige finished, she set her plate on the table in front of the couch and leaned back, patting her belly appreciatively.

"Thank you, Walter. You take such good care of me. I don't know how I would have gotten through these past few months without you."

"If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have had so much to deal with."

"Walter. We were both there, we both knew this was a possibility, even if we figured we were doing enough to prevent it. It is not your 'fault' that I got pregnant. And even if it was, I wouldn't care. I wouldn't trade Amanda for any of the stuff I went through. But… let's try to be more careful in the future, okay? I'm not saying I'll never want another child, but certainly not for a little while."

"Deal," Walter agreed as he stacked Paige's plate on top of his own and then grabbed the empty water bottles and went into the kitchen. "Before we make love again, I'll stock up on some extra protection condoms. Should we get you a diaphragm as well?"

Paige laughed. "I'd say there's such a thing as being too careful, but experience has taught me otherwise. There's some protection while I'm breastfeeding but it's hard to know how long that lasts."

Walter returned and sat back down on the couch, reaching over and gathering Paige in his arms. Their love life for the past several weeks had consisted almost exclusively of brief moments of cuddling whenever Amanda gave them a few minutes off from parenting duties. Walter didn't mind. He'd been uncomfortable with virtually all forms of touch for most of his life, but holding his wife in his arms was like finding his way back to a home he never realized he missed.

"About that… there was… one other thing Doctor Whitley told me," Paige said hesitantly.

Walter stiffened. Between Toby and his own research he knew of dozens of pregnancy, delivery and post-pregnancy complications that could arise. The thought that Paige might suffer any of them – from the mundane to the very serious – troubled him. Paige's hesitance immediately led him to think that whatever the doctor told her, it must be closer to the serious side.

"She said we could… go back to having sex… whenever we want."

August 20, 2016